“And that was the way to do it, hey?” I ask, pointing to the pink flower. “This is what it came down to.”
“Apparently,” Eden replies, not much emotion in her voice. Not like there used to be. “You know I like to play with my food,” she says and looks back at Ashley. “And we all know fresh meat is the sweetest.”
Ashley releases a laugh so full of disbelief everyone looks at her.
“You think you know me,” she starts, narrowing a deathly glare upon Eden. “You’ve never even met me.”
“I don’t need to,” Eden replies, keeping herself sickly sweet. “Baby Doll, I never liked any man I killed.” She tilts her head, giving Ashley a little pout. “It’s kinda the point. You won’t be any different.”
Ashley looks at me, and I see the honest fear in her eyes. I give her a reassuring glance trying to make her understand I will try everything not to let Eden hurt her.
“Eden,” I breathe, turning back.
“Ah, Prince Charming,” Eden bursts out sarcastically, clasping her hands on her lap as she crosses her left leg over her right. “Where’s thy noble steed?” She looks around me, amplifying her sarcasm. “Or did the merry men carry you in so you can protect the newest damsel in the city?”
The rush of fear hits me. I’m horrified at the girl before me. This isn’t Eden. Well, it is to an extent, but it isn’t the girl I adored and vowed to have a future with. This Eden is cold even to men who stood so loyally by her side.
“Wow,” Liam speaks up, scratching his head as he steps up to the table. “Apparently love can be lost.”
“Liam,” Eden starts turning her attention away. “You know I’m harmless.”
“That’s a fuckin’ lie,” Liam chokes, chuckling. “I’ve seen all the things you’re capable of.”
Eden blinks once, twice and then smiles. “Only to those who deserve it.” She flashes the same smile to Ashley. “How about a welcome home party?” she asks, playing too nice. “My treat.”
“No thanks,” Liam grouses, getting a quick round of agreement from my men.
“Nice,” Eden starts, straightening up and wiping away the hurt. “At least Seamus gave us a warmer reception,” Eden quips, settling back at her table to grab the scotch. “You lot should remember who you’re playin’ with here.”
I turn back, catching sight of Seamus trying to act innocent until he notices me and he throws his hands up in mock defense.
“You knew?!” I explode, pointing at Seamus as I cross the bar. “You knew she was in here and you acted like nothing was wrong.”
“Don’t bring me into this,” Seamus counters, remaining unmoved. “I’ve been loyal to both your families for too long to get involved.”
I can’t stop the hurt from masking my face so painfully obvious.
“I had no idea she’d dropped a bombshell like that,” he says, throwing his hand at the table. “She and Alex just turned up, and that was the first I knew of them being home.” He settles against the bar, still not reacting to my anger. “As for not telling you she was in here … it wasn’t my place. She’s already struggling with being back. I know that.”
“Oh, she’s not fuckin’ strugglin’ being back!” I lash out turning back to the group around Eden’s table. “She’s right back where she was when she left.”
Seamus gives me a curt look, knowing that isn’t true.
“She is,” I say, unable to withhold myself anymore. “She’s back, throwin’ out death threats and actin’ all sweet as fuckin’ pie along with it.”
I know the majority of this is coming from a deep pit of resentment. I resented Eden every-single-day she was gone, and that feeling manifested into a new sense of hatred that I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive her for.
She created a darker shade in me. Eden carved out so much of me that only shadows fill the space. Her homecoming isn’t an automatic cure.
“Well, it’s a good thing we’re all on the same page,” Eden starts, causing me to jump as I realize she’s now just behind me. “I am back.”
I look at her, steadying my breathing as I take in the full sight of her. She’s wearing tight black skinny jeans with ankle high boots. Her top half covered with a thick black sweater and a leather jacket to finish off the outfit. It’s her hair that gets me – it falls in long curly locks, a look I haven’t seen her wear in so long. When she left, her hair was cropped into a bob – professional and sexy.
It takes a few minutes for me to realize that right now nothing and no one exists in this pub.
“How sure can we be about that?” I ask, forcing myself from the trance. “How do we know you won’t bolt?”
“You don’t,” she replies, winking at me. “Now, look after your pet, Lawson, I’m going to freshen up.”
She turns on her heels, walking off with so much confidence even I worry about why she’s come back. She disappears through the door that leads toward the restrooms, and I can’t stop staring.
What the fuck is happening?
“Are you serious?” Ashley asks, hitting me. “You’re eye fucking her when she’s just threatened to kill me.”
I look at Ashley, finding a sense of guilt rip through me. She’s right, but I can’t just turn off how I feel.
“I’ll be right back,” I say, heading toward the restrooms after Eden.
“Lawson!” Ashley cries out after me.
“Leave him,” Liam states. “Seriously … this is not somethin’ you can stop happenin’.”
“I can,” I hear Ashley say. “Maybe not right now, but I will.”
“Not today,” I catch Liam say as I disappear.
I follow where Eden went, going into the ladies’ restroom without a fucking care. Something that would have gotten all of my men roaring and teasing about if it wasn’t for the situation, but I mean business. It’s been too long, and now she’s back and pulling this stunt.
“Eden,” I say, pushing my way into the room without a care.
“I was wonderin’ how long it was going to take you,” she quips, sitting on the counter with the sinks. Her legs are crossed, and she’s reapplying deep red lipstick. “It’s empty,” she muses, that wickedly seductive smile brightens her face up as she catches me looking at the cubicles. “How about a proper hello?”
She even sets her compact mirror and lipstick down, slipping from the counter and settling before me, ready and poised.
“That’s not why I’m in here,” I tell her, my tone far from polite.
Instantly, the look is lost, and she becomes disinterested.
“Then, why are you?” she asks, but no more than two seconds later she looks at me. “Sweet lord, you’re here to tell me off, aren’t you?” she asks and laughs. “Don’t worry; she’s not got any tooth marks …”
“And she won’t have,” I reply bitterly. “Why are you back? Aside from terrorizin’ some poor girl.”
“Nostalgia, curiosity, etcetera, etcetera.” Eden tips her head to the side amused suddenly. “And she didn’t seem like some poor girl up on that balcony.”
“Have you been watchin’?” I ask, grasping at the idea of how close she’s been without me knowing.
“Had to see it with my own two eyes that there was a replacement,” she remarks remaining calm. “Didn’t think you liked brunettes, but I’ll hand it to you, Lawson, she’s a pretty little upgrade.”
I watch her closely, seeing how strong she’s trying to be when under the front of it all she’s broken by what she saw. There’s a lot that Eden can hide, but she can’t fool a guy that knows every tiny, intimate morsel that builds her.
“How is she in bed?” she asks me, not holding back. “Does she know how you like it?”
“No,” I bite back. “We haven’t had sex yet.”
“Oh, yet?” she asks, excitement oozing into her attitude. “When is the big day?” she questions sarcastically. “I mean … it’s soon, right? The sexual tension you two had on that balcony was hot as hell. Almost as good as we
can get it, Lawson … but not quite.”
“Why are you back?” I ask, my voice caught in my throat.
She slips down from the counter, walking up to me.
“I thought you might be a little pleased to see me,” she states, getting closer. “We shared so much back then, Lawson.” She stops before me, her hand coming softly to my cheek, forcing me to look at her. “What we had is irreplaceable. We can have it again.” I watch her slow her breathing. “Lawson, Baby, we can rule the city … like we always planned.”
“No,” I grouse.
“Why?” she asks, her hands now framing my face. “I know I have a lot to apologize for, but I can’t do that if you won’t let me in.” She brings her face closer to mine. “Just remember.”
She kisses me, and it’s like the world stops. Everything ceases to exist, but the thought that she’s back and she’s here, and just as I give into the kiss, I remember everything I felt when she ran.
“Why are you back?” I ask her, my hands still caught up in her hair as I pull her away.
“Unfinished business,” she states, her eyes become emblazoned with a hatred I’ve never seen. “You were just a consolation prize I guess.”
I fall back, letting her go.
I guess a part of me always prayed that she would come back for me, see me standing here and it’d come flooding back to her – like it always has done – but this time it’s not there. There’s hardly any recognition of the love we’ve shared, no memories of the life we had together.
“So, what are we doin’?”
“Getting’ reacquainted,” she replies, smiling innocently at me. “But I can see I have no place here.”
She moves away from me, removing herself from the one place I’ve dreamt she would be back in.
“You left,” I state, gazing off. “And everythin’ changed. You left without a word, and you never came back.”
“Until today,” she remarks, standing before me with hands on her hips. “So, dry your tears, Lawson, I’ve not booked my ticket out of town just yet.”
“So, that’s it?” I ask, biting back with bitterness. “You say you’re back, so you’re back?”
“I’m back,” she replies with a very matter-of-fact tone. “You never had an issue with me bein’ around.”
“That was before you did a disappearin’ act on me and left it all behind,” I tell her, my eyes boring into her. “One day you were here, the next you weren’t.”
“Call me the modern day fuckin’ Houdini,” she quips, not seeing the damage her disappearance did.
“You don’t seem to understand what you left behind, who you left behind … because I waited. I stood waiting,” I say, my anger trying to beseech me. “But you don’t even see what you gave up!”
“So, kiss me like you miss me,” she dares, her eyes meeting mine properly. “Make it clear what I walked away from, Lawson. Guilt me with a kiss.”
Fuck it.
Some will call me foolish for falling for her so quickly, but it’s hard not to when I never fell out of love with Eden. She was only ever meant to be the girl by my side, and she was – until she disappeared. Now, she’s back; my mind tries to rationalize without forcing me to believe we could rule the city like she suggested because that is how we had planned to live our lives.
“I missed you,” she breathes, parting lips for the briefest of seconds. “So much.”
Total consumption overpowers us both, dragging us from the calm surface into a fierce undercurrent we know we can’t avoid.
She’s the devil sent to tempt me, and I allow her because I love the way my heart beats faster around her.
She’s the breath in my lungs.
She’s the itch I can’t scratch.
She’s the sin I love to repeat.
I slam her hard against the wall, uncaring of how rough I’m being. I’m only mindful of the void she created, the one she’s already filling just by being here. I’ve craved this moment. She’s been in my every daydream but never like this. Now she’s real I can’t stop taking little pieces of her, sealed in kisses.
I pick her up, sliding her up the wall until her legs are locked around my hips. Her arms circle my neck, and she sinks harder against the kisses we’re giving one another.
Some habits die hard; others never can.
She moans against my lips, deepening the kiss and I feel a fever pitch ignite across my skin. I feel the tragedy in her kiss, and I stiffen against her, lingering in the moment that our lips meet in a greedy steal.
“I missed you, too,” I admit and the moment gains a whole new gravity. “More than I can ever tell you.”
“Fuck,” she swears against my lips, her hands in my hair. “Fuck, Lawson. I’m sorry.”
“You should be,” I tell her, not withholding anything while I continue to kiss her. “You fuckin’ destroyed me.”
“I didn’t mean to,” she tells me, forcing my head away from her skin. “I didn’t mean to,” she replies softly.
“But you still did,” I reply, lashing out. “And you knew you would.”
“I had no choice,” she tells me, not quite letting me go. Her hands frame my face, and she leans in, her forehead to mine, and I watch as her eyes flutter close. “I’m sorry,” she speaks, a lump clearly in her throat. “Lawson, it wasn’t easy for me. It still isn’t.”
“I know losing your dad was hard,” I say, being totally honest. “Christ, we all grieved for him, but you ran. You didn’t even go to your own father’s funeral.” I place her back down, backing away as I remember the disgust that balled in my stomach when Eden never showed up that day. “I can’t understand how you went from idolizin’ the man to not even sayin’ goodbye to him.”
“It was hard,” she admits, her voice tightening. “I couldn’t say goodbye to him.”
“Why not?” I question, pushing her. “You deserved the closure.”
“I guess,” she replies, shrugging. “I’m back now … I’ll find the closure, now.”
“How?” I ask, narrowing my gaze while I scrutinize her. “By becomin’ what you are now.”
“If that’s what it takes,” she says, resigned to the fact. Suddenly the moment we just shared has vanished, and the room freezes with hostility. “Now … think it’s time I went and got acquainted with the newest recruit … Leo mentioned she’s here to stay … under your watch.”
“So, you’ve been to see my father I see,” I muse, trying to swallow my broken pride. “I’m sure he was happy to see you back.”
“Happier than you,” she grouses, walking over to the mirror. “He was quick to tell me all about how you acquired the little contract killer out there.”
“The what?” I ask, gawping at her.
“Just an inappropriate joke,” Eden muses, turning to face me, her back to the mirror. “I heard the only way you get out of your life with her is to die.” Eden puts her hands out and shrugs. “I could kill her … and kill the contract with it.”
I close my eyes, hating how on my wavelength Eden is.
“Now, if I do that does that mean I acquire you or does the small print state it applies only for Ashley?” she asks, pondering on the facts. “Just want to be sure before I go back out.”
“I can’t let you go out there,” I say, catching her hand in mine.
“Why the hell not?” she asks, looking at my hand around hers.
“Because you can’t be trusted!” I lash out, watching the hurt smother her. “I don’t know you. You’re not the same girl I loved.”
A desolation pours into her eyes, and I struggle to draw in a breath. I could fall back into the routine we had before, draw her in close and never let her go, but things have shifted, and after seeing how she’s behaved tonight I know the girl I love is no longer here.
“Loved?” she asks, blinking to stop the tears from falling. “Didn’t think I’d changed that much, Lawson.”
“Enough for me to know,” I state, being honest with her. “You might kiss me th
e same, but you’re not the same.”
“What’s it matter?” she quizzes, throwing her arms out defensively. “You’ve clearly moved on.”
“Hardly,” I spit back, quickly. “What you saw is a physical attraction.”
“Oh, save me that,” Eden replies, laughing incredulously at my claim. “I know you, Lawson. I know you better than any fucker in this bar.” She walks forward, almost squaring up to me. “Don’t forget who knows you most. I know that look you gave her because you used to give it to me.” Her hurt has burnt away into fury. “So, don’t dumb it down on my account ... I’m a big girl.”
“Fine,” I start, conviction hitting Eden hard. “Fine! I am attracted to her, and I can’t deny it. I don’t know how or why I am, but I am … and it only took a matter of days to notice it.”
“Right,” Eden muses, blinking hard to force herself not to cry. “Well … I’m pleased, but that doesn’t stop me bein’ here. You can pursue her all you like.”
“I was going to pursue her, but then you came back.”
“Don’t stop because of me,” Eden replies, trying to remain strong. “But that doesn’t suddenly exclude her. The orchid remains.”
I know I’ve seen Eden in a lot of tortured lights, and I would’ve thought this one as beautiful as any other, but she’s playing too close to home for my liking.
“Why did you give her a flower?” I ask, straightening up as I wonder a million reasons she could choose.
Turning to look at me, Eden’s pupils dilate, and she licks her lips. “She’s a threat.”
I shake my head, rolling my eyes. “She is not.”
“She is,” Eden says, placing a hand on my arm. “Why can’t you see that?”
“Because you’re clearly actin’ jealous!” I exclaim, bellowing the accusation at her. “You’ve been gone for over a year, and you decide to come back and act like nothin’ has changed … Eden, everythin’ has fuckin’ changed.”
“I know that,” she mutters lowly. “I don’t need you to tell me that. Seein’ you and her just fuckin’ finalized it, but the ball was already rolling. I was waitin’ for my prime opportunity, and I know how you like to play at Mardi Gras.”
Sweet Venom (Crazy in Love #1) Page 17
