“So, you hid in the shadows?” I ask horror in my voice.
Eden was so close, near enough for me to stop, but she evaded me because she wasn’t back to find me. She was here to set her next kill into motion.
“I wasn’t exactly hidden,” she replies, her voice calm. “What I saw was the consequence of my actions … trust me; I don’t need a play by play to understand it.”
“I couldn’t just wait around for you any longer than I had …” I brutally admit. “This isn’t like before. You fuckin’ left, I picked up the pieces, and I moved on. While Ashley is a bit of a surprise, I think it’d be good for me to have a chance to look beyond you.”
I know that’s going to be a hard feat, but I have to try at least to live beyond my love for Eden. Regardless of what she thinks, I have to give myself a fighting chance.
“You don’t mean that,” she whispers.
“No, I do mean it,” I tell her, breaking away to put distance between us. “You bein’ back isn’t healthy for either of us. Unlike before this is dangerous. There will be a fallout from you comin’ back, but unlike before I can’t save you and do my job.”
“How do you expect to have a fightin’ chance when Leo paired us together?” she asks, laying that bombshell on me. “Just because you gave up seems your father never did.”
“I didn’t give up,” I tell her, grinding my teeth. “I moved on after you gave up. I have a fightin’ chance with Ashley.”
“You know what, Lawson? Fuck you,” Eden tells me, landing a finger square into my chest, her nail digging pleasantly into my skin. “You think you already rule this city, but you just wait and see.” She retreats, wild with rage. “And if that little bitch out there thinks she’s going to love you like I do, she’s got the toughest fight on her hands ... we have unfinished business you and me, Lawson. I don’t care if she becomes a casualty.”
I watch her leave and throw my hands up onto my head. Releasing a feral growl, I tighten my hands and try my hardest not to succumb to my rage.
My life was so organized, so precise, now, shit’s just hit the fan.
“Welcome to our world, Sweethawt,” Liam whispers in my ear.
“Shut up!” I hiss, hitting him to get away from me.
“Look, I’m just tryin’ to help. We’ve lived with this pair for years, grown up with them. We know how it works.”
“This time is different,” I say, arguing a point I have no clue about.
“Keep tellin’ yourself that,” Liam replies, showing no vote of confidence in me. “Nothin’ ever changes when they’re chasin’ the storm.”
“This time is different,” I say, not knowing how truthful that can be.
White hot anger fuels me, firing through my veins with such potency I have to steady my breathing to stop it racing. I’ve never felt like this – never felt so driven by jealousy for a man I barely know. The fear of the thought fuels me more, forcing the urge to follow them both.
“He’ll always only ever love her,” Liam continues in my ear, playing the devil’s advocate.
Except, I believe him and his words because now I know how beautiful the devil is. She’s full of deceptive beauty with a sweetly sharp tongue. I’m no competition for a woman who’s already set her place among these men, but I’m always willing to dance with the devil.
“You could try and play her at her own game,” Liam says, forcing me to look around at her. “I mean … if you want to.”
“And how do I do that?” I ask.
“Easy,” he says, grinning. “Don’t fear the girl with killer instincts.” He leans in closer; I can smell the liquor on his breath. “She lives off the fear. Don’t show fear and you take away the power.”
“Think it’s too late for that one,” I quip dryly. “Think she’s smelt that.”
“Not necessarily,” he starts, moving to put himself between me and the distance to the door to the restroom. “You went over to her, marched right on up to her table and threw that flower back … not many men have dared do that in their time.” He chuckles, rubbing his lip. “And their time from the moment she drops that first orchid is usually fairly short-lived.”
“I’m not like those other men,” I state, grousing upon the fact with a heavy resolution. “Think what you will, Liam, but I am not like anyone she’s chosen before.”
“Good,” he replies, his eyes lighting up. “That’s exactly the mentality you need.”
I look at him, shocked that he’s not finding some fault to cuss me down. I wonder if he’s playing me here; we’ve not exactly been friends since he found me days ago, and he’s made it abundantly clear I’m nothing but bad news.
“Why are you helping me out?”
“No reason,” Liam says, but he looks down which tells me he’s lying.
“Liam,” I start. “Why are you suddenly Mr. Helpful?”
“Because I’ve seen what she did to Lawson … she broke him, and I can see nothing’s changed in the time she’s been gone.” He shrugs, a crooked little grin breaks onto his lips. “Thought it was about time Eden met her match.”
The thought arouses something in me, and I know that Liam notices. I can’t help myself.
“Oh! Movement!” Nate declares, running from the door that Lawson disappeared behind.
No more than two seconds after, Lawson bolts from the restroom, a few seconds later Eden follows, looking extremely pleased with herself. She catches me watching and gives me a little wave and the hatred I feel for her only manifests.
“Lawson!” Frazer calls after Lawson and I catch sight of him heading for the door. “Where are you goin’?”
“The night’s still young!” Nate chimes in.
Lawson ignores them both simultaneously. From the way his fists are balled at his side, I can tell he’s fighting an inner battle with himself, but I don’t let that prevent me from moving. I march after him, so full of my potent rage and anger I can’t stop myself.
He flies out of the pub, stumbling onto the walkway with such a thunderous tone that I know I should retreat and let Liam or the others deal with it, but I can’t help myself. After having Lawson close, after becoming intoxicated with the way he makes me feel, I know I can’t leave him.
“Lawson,” I say, hitting the door to O’Reilly’s hard. “Lawson!” I call making it out into the cool New Orleans air.
“Leave me alone, Ashley,” he warns, dangerous. He continues to walk away. “I’m not in the mood.”
“Yeah, well neither am I,” I grind out, still unhappy with his reaction to Eden. “Are you going to stop?”
“No,” he states, without even slowing his speed. “Are you goin’ to leave me alone?”
“No,” I reply, unwilling to just let him leave alone. I match his speed, albeit with difficulty, and continue by his side. “What the hell was that?”
“Don’t,” he replies, his jaws clenching tight.
I grab him in that instance, forcing him to stop and look at me. I deserve a reason, an explanation why he had to follow her, why he had to leave me, why he had to be so physically attracted to her that I went forgotten.
“No, you don’t get to be all over me and then follow Little-Miss-Sadist into a restroom,” I say, showing him I’m willing to fight him on this. “I have been used countless time, Lawson, but I’m not about to put myself on the line for some emotional abuse.” My eyes water and disdain fills me. “I’ve been everyone’s toy for my whole life … I’m not about to be yours.”
He says nothing, stoically he bites his tongue, searching my eyes deeply.
“There are so many stories you are yet to hear and some you never will,” I start to say, fighting for my side of this situation. “But don’t you dare make another one for me to live with. Don’t you dare make me feel like the world around me doesn’t exist outside of you and me to then rip it all away from me.”
“I can’t make that a promise,” he tells me, a lump forming so evidently in his throat. “It was simple … now it’s
not.”
“Liam mentioned her, you know,” I start, rocking on my feet. “I mean, he never named her, but the moment I saw how you were with her, I knew I finally met the woman that Liam believes I can’t match. And I was okay with that.”
He doesn’t speak. Respectfully allowing me to vent my woes into the openness of the street, surrounded by the thinning crowds.
“I thought, maybe just maybe, she didn’t have some power over you, but it took like a split second to see that I’m not worth anything compared to her.”
“That’s not true,” he starts, quick to finally speak.
I don’t allow him to go further, knowing he’ll try to make this right and calm me down.
“And you know what hurts most?” I ask, daring him to look at me with just the tone of my voice. “I know I lost you the moment you realized what I had in my hand.”
“That’s not true,” he bites, trying to defy the truth.
“Isn’t it?” I ask the hurt in my voice sharpening my words. “They all knew the moment they saw that orchid … but you looked like you’d seen a ghost.”
“That’s because I did!” he bellows, throwing his hands up into his hair. “I did see a fuckin’ ghost, and she was catching up with me quicker than I fuckin’ wanted to realize!” He throws his hands down; his eyes wildly search mine. “I feel somethin’ for you, I can’t deny it and you clearly can’t either, but she threatens that.”
“She doesn’t have to,” I say, arguing the case.
“She does,” he corrects me quickly. “There’s no way to avoid this, Ashley. I can’t just turn my back on this situation … on her.”
“So, that’s it, is it?” I ask, watching him fight with himself. “She’s back and I’m forgotten.”
“No,” he says, meeting my eyes. “No, that’s not it. That’s the furthest thing from it.”
“Then what?!” I exclaim, finding myself losing ferociously to the jealousy I’m feeling.
I feel crazy, driven to insanity by this new-found lust I crave whenever I’m near Lawson. I thought I had found a man that would respond to me, that wouldn’t abuse his chance with me, but I’m seeing I found a guy who’s in love with another girl.
“She gets into my head!” he bellows, pointing at his head like a lunatic. “She always has.” This is a new side to Lawson, and I can see he’s more haunted by Eden’s reappearance than anyone cares to see. “I can’t just cut her out!” Lawson argues. “It’s not that easy anymore.”
“It can be,” I say, going to touch him, wanting to calm his anger.
“It isn’t!” he yells, fighting me away.
“Lover’s quarrel,” Eden’s voice filters the air. I was unaware she had even come out of O’Reilly’s. “Suga’, the best way to deal with my man there is to let him win this. There’s no point fightin’ him on this one because you’ll never win.”
I laugh at her. “Like I’m going to take advice from a psycho bitch who thinks a flower is the best way to tell a person they’re on a hit list.”
“Put the fear of Christ up you, though, huh?” she asks, cocking a brow. “And you don’t even know the best part.”
“What’s that?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest.
“I’ll rain down petals before I rain down hell,” she tells me, her lips bracing a smile as she steps closer. “That was just the start. You’re goin’ to want to sleep with one eye open from now.”
She states the saying that Lawson had, not even an hour earlier, and wild panic has me searching him standing beside us. He doesn’t look at all moved by her saying it, he looks resigned, and I realize he’s seen this all before.
“I’m untouchable,” I state, my voice quivers unforgivingly, and I see Eden notices.
“Leo may have made sure Lawson can’t touch you and whoever else Leo may have seen as a threat, but that was before I entered the equation.” Eden steps closer, the viciousness in her eyes more alive than ever. “No one is untouchable in this life.”
“Eden,” Lawson growls, stepping forward as his anger becomes directed at the right person.
“Oh, Lawson, put your teeth away!” Eden orders, a fresh ferocity behind her. “Why would I hurt her out here? I’m not that stupid.” Turning back, Eden places a hand on her hip and tilts her head at me as if to demean me. “You see, little girl, you need to learn fast what it means to be a part of The Firm … I mean that is the new dream, isn’t it?”
“I… I ...”
“I… I …” she replies, mocking me. “Lawson, do us a favor and teach your new bitch how to deal with people like us. You stutter like a moron, and someone will use it as their opportunity.” Eden then smiles politely. “I could’ve … but I’m on my best behavior.”
I giggle, unable to stop myself at the thought of this being her
“Oh, believe me, Love, you don’t want to see me at my worst.”
“I think I do,” I dare her, stepping up closer, taking away some of her frightening prowess. “You see … I have a lot to work with to make me not give a fuck about people like you.”
“People like me?” she asks, a hand coming to her chest as she feigns being hurt. “Sweethawt, you mean people like us,” she corrects, pointing between herself and Lawson. “Me and Lawson are bred from the same pit of Hades … unlike you who seemed to live a damn precious life.”
“My Life is anything but precious,” I snarl, unwilling to let her break me down to some science as if she knows me. “I wish my life were that, but I’ve lived far from precious for years now. You may have been born from Hades, but I got thrown there by my fucking family.”
“Oh, boo hoo,” she mocks, pretending to wipe non-existent tears. “Least you stood a chance.”
“Hardly,” I argue, feeling myself becoming incensed. “No one betrayed by their family stands a chance in life.”
“That’s why you use it,” Eden says, coercing me. “You use every ounce of that pain you feel, and you use it to fuel you because you can be more dangerous reacting on heartbreak than you ever can crying over it.”
“Believe me; I long ago gave up crying over my downfalls,” I remark, snapping at her. “People like you don’t scare me. I’ve slept with worse monsters than you … I fucking almost fell for one.” I take a careful step forward, forcing myself to be courageous. “So, do your worst because I’m not afraid of you!”
“And that was what I wanted to see,” Eden remarks, her face lighting up. “A bit of fire in your soul to fight back!”
“What?” I gawp my brow furrowing.
“I like my enemy to have a bit of charisma. At first, I thought to myself, you were nothing but an easy target, but you just made this fun.” She grins, exceedingly happy over the fact. “Ashley Johnson,” she says, chortling as she says my name. “Welcome to the game!”
“There is no game,” Lawson steps in, standing by my side. “There is enough shit in this world without you thinkin’ Ashley’s some game.”
“Well, isn’t she?” Eden asks, cocking a brow as she oozes that sarcastic wit. “She contractually bound herself to you, Lawson. That should have alarm bells going. You’ve apparently known her only a few days, but here you are fawnin’ all over her like she’s God’s gift to man.”
“You’re actin’ out,” he counters, not playing into her hand. “You walked away; you don’t get to walk in like you still belong here with me.”
Hurt registers on her face, but she’s quick to mask it with a vicious glint in her eyes. She’s clearly spent a long time hardening herself to accusations and the horrible backlash her reappearance could bring.
“Don’t say somethin’ you might regret,” Eden remarks. “Especially seeing as we’ll be seeing a hell of a lot of one another from now on.” She smiles, shrugging her shoulders. “We’re just destined to be pulled back together.”
Lawson rolls his eyes. “If I know you and my dad, you orchestrated this.”
“Oh no,” Eden states, closing the gap between us all. “I came back
by my admission. Meetin’ with Leo was purely business. I had to reinstate myself. Believe me, you and I meetin’ was purely circumstantial,” she says, giving me a look of pure disgust.
“You can’t treat Ashley like she’s another job,” Lawson argues, a defensive tone now hitting out. “My father made sure she wasn’t to be harmed while on my watch.”
“She’s not always going to be on your watch,” Eden remarks, flickering gazes between Lawson and me. “She’ll have to be left alone at some point.”
My stomach sinks and I try to act brazen and strong.
“But that day isn’t today,” she starts, changing her tune quickly. “I’m a little tired from travelin’ all day and then all of this excitement,” she pauses and grins at me. “So, I’ll see you soon.” She narrows her gaze on Lawson, ignoring me entirely. “Bye, Baby,” she says to Lawson, flicking blond curls over her shoulder. “See you very soon, Ashley,” she mentions, looking away from him to look at me. “We’ll have a little more fun next time.” She ignores me, sashaying her way over to Lawson with such a fierce sexual prowess I’m captivated. She reaches up, grabbing him tightly by the collar of his jacket. “I’ve missed you,” she says and kisses him on the lips. Although he doesn’t react, she doesn’t make that an issue. “Like really, really missed you.”
I look at Lawson, I see the way he stares at her, and I’m lost in the moment – with them, but without him. I can see the magnetism there, regardless of how much anger Lawson emits, beneath it all he’s powerless to the way he feels for her.
With her piece said, she releases his collar and steps away, abandoning him all over again. She says nothing else, doesn’t even give me a second look and turns and leaves, going back the short distance toward O’Reilly’s.
She may have left, but she still holds Lawson completely and utterly captivated. I feel like an outsider, watching a man’s heart walk away without him yet again. Blinking back the tears, I remind myself that I’m worth more than being someone’s side bit.
I swallow hard on every tear and start to step away, telling myself to head back to O’Reilly’s to get a cab to wherever I can get lost.
Sweet Venom (Crazy in Love #1) Page 18
