Sweet Venom (Crazy in Love #1)

by Kirsty-Anne Still

“Thanks,” I mutter, taking the cardboard cup and retreat to my spot across the room. I take the opportunity to sit at the breakfast bar. “When did life become so complicated?”

  “Think it was about the time you were born,” Liam jests, leaning down onto the counter. “So … about April twenty-sixth nineteen-eighty-eight.”

  I shot him a look, and his eyes soften, losing their humor.

  “Okay, serious response would be the moment we took the Bryce Rainey job.” He lifts the plastic lid from his coffee, standing up straighter as he takes on the gravity of my question. “But there was no way to foresee something like this.”

  “But there should have been,” I mutter, rubbing my eyes. “And now Eden’s back … how did that escape everyone’s attention?”

  “That would be somethin’ you’d need to discuss with Leo,” Liam announces, reminding me of the ringleader of this hellish reality. “But you have more important questions to ask yourself, bro.”

  “Like what?” I ask, noticing how Liam is now talking to me as a friend, not a colleague.

  “You have to make a decision.”

  “What?” I ask, furrowing my brow.

  “Make a decision,” Liam says, dangerously lowering his tone. “The blond or the brunette … they won’t ever come as a fuckin’ packaged deal … so you have to make a decision.”

  The blond or the brunette.

  Eden or Ashley.

  “And you need to make it soon,” he adds, his tone solemn and drawn. “Because the end of this isn’t going to be pretty … who’s worth savin’?”

  The sobriety of his logic hits me hard, and my headache throbs harsher.

  “There’s no good choice,” Liam tells me. “Only a worthy one. Who do you want most?”

  “I don’t know,” I admit, hearing the feeble note lacing my tone. “It used to be all about Eden.”

  “Until Ashley,” he counters, finishing my sentence.

  “Until Ashley.”

  I meet his gaze and start to chew the inside of my cheek.

  “What about me?” Ashley asks, entering the room.

  She stands before us, in nothing but my shirt from last night and her panties.

  “Nothin’,” I reply giving her a smile. “We were just saying that usually it’s just Liam and me at breakfast.”

  “Until you,” Liam adds, playing along with the lie.

  He even aids the moment by opening the bag, presenting her with a takeout box, giving me the next one and taking out his own.

  “Enjoy,” he tells her, giving her a playful wink. “Think we all need it after last night.”

  “That’s an understatement,” I moan, opening the box, immediately reaching for the rasher of bacon that sits next to my maple pancakes.

  Ashley follows suit as soon as I start eating and sits on the other corner of the bar. She opens her box, and her face becomes stony, her eyes widening.

  “What the hell is this?” Ashley asks the moment her box is opened.

  “It’s double chocolate chip pancakes and bacon,” Liam announces, shoveling a forkful of food into his mouth. “Shit, you ain’t a vegetarian, are you?!”

  “No,” Ashley states, her voice tight. “This,” she announces and brings her hand up, holding onto an orchid. “What the hell is this?”

  “Fuck,” Liam says, choking on his food. “Fuck, that girl is good.”

  “How the fuck does she get that in our food?” I ask, looking from Liam to Ashley and back again. “Liam,” I grouse, narrowing my gaze on him.

  “I might have seen Eden this mornin’,” he admits, a minor sound of cowardice in his voice. “She was eatin’ breakfast at The Firm,” Liam tells us, casually shrugging. “She was with her brother; we spoke while I was waitin’ to order then I left.”

  “If it were that simple, how does that flower make it into Ashley’s order?”

  “I don’t know, boss,” Liam quips defensively. “But we did all live in each other’s pockets. She knows your favorite breakfast better than she knows anything else … she had to pick between the two others …. Don’t think she’s ever seen me eat double chocolate pancakes.”

  Fuck, Liam’s right. Working in The Firm, under my father and his men, you find yourself living with the same people day in and day out. It’s how we become so trustful and comfortable around one another. I usually like the fact.

  “This is a declaration of war,” Liam chimes, unable to stop himself. “She’s never issued two in such quick succession.”

  “This isn’t war,” Ashley declares, tossing the flower at Liam. “This is the actions of a jealous bitch!”

  Liam lets out a laugh, turning his entire body toward Ashley. I know he’s found an opportunity and he’s running with it.

  “Hey, Dawlin’, if there’s one thing I know for sure in this life, is that your head is going to end up on a silver platter.”

  “Liam!” I roar, slamming my hands down onto the table.

  “No, Boss, she needs to know what she’s facin’ because I don’t believe she realizes just how dangerous Eden Roberts can be.” I see something in his face, some knowing. “She can’t just think she’s dealin’ with some jealous ex. She’s not!”

  I sigh, shaking my head only to look at Ashley as she sits poised and ready to hear everything.

  “Liam’s right,” I say, siding with my right-hand man. “Eden is more than a jealous ex.”

  “And I think it’s about time you stopped sugar coating everythin’,” Liam remarks, narrowing his gaze on me. “She wants to be here … she needs to be aware.”

  I think of all dirty deeds the girl I claimed to be the love of my life has done, and I can’t fault her for a single one because each of hers lives up to each of mine. She was always my ultimate sin – the one I would die a thousand times over for.

  For Ashley to know what she’s dealing with, I need to bare my soul to her.

  “Eden has gone to some dark places,” I start to say, knowing this is the only way to get through this. Ashley snorts, and I close my eyes. “And I was right by her side while she was there.”

  I open my eyes and look at Ashley, seeing no signs of mirth igniting in her expression.

  “What I did to Bryce wasn’t even close to what I used to do.”

  “What you used to do?” Ashley asks, placing her hands on the counter; she allows me to have total control of her attention.

  “We used to kill for sport,” I deadpan. “Not without reason, but not with any sense either. We’d watch people, we’d hunt them, and we’d add them to the list. Some had worse transgressions than others … some were to do with my fathers, most had nothin’ to do with my father.”

  I watch Ashley gulp, but she doesn’t interrupt, and neither does Liam.

  “I used to enjoy watchin’ men squirm if they were in any way sexist or thought they had a right to harass women. That was the effect Eden had on me. If any man did to a woman what I couldn’t imagine them doing to Eden that was their crime.”

  “And Eden?” Ashley dares to ask.

  “She’d help goad men into fallin’,” I state, keeping my tone even. “She’d give them enough rope to hang themselves with.” I close my eyes, shaking my head at the thought of my old actions. “We only did it to prove to our fathers that The Firm didn’t rule the city … that it couldn’t rule us. That we could disapprove of their regulations and go against them all.”

  “And when did that change?” she asks, cocking a brow. “Because now you seem to play by your father’s rules quite well and quite often.”

  I gulp, knowing she won’t like this response.

  These walls are going to be the death of me.

  Not Eden, but four similarly sized walls.

  And it’ll be Lawson’s doing because he hasn’t come out of his office since our last altercation.

  I know he’s wrapped in a fresh hell, but he seems to have forgotten I’ve been dragged – kicking and screaming – into it as well. Except I now have a bounty on my head a
nd the orchids tallying up how numbered my days are becoming.

  I keep thinking of Eden and how heartless she appears, but while I remember her remarks and the way she looked at me like I was her prey, I keep seeing everyone’s faces around me. They were all shocked by her behavior, appalled even. Not one of them recognized the bitch sitting there waiting for the friendly welcome.

  Which is why it never happened.

  Then I remember Lawson.

  He’s been tormented by love; he allowed himself to get swallowed whole by it and it left him alone and bitter.

  She left him alone and bitter.

  While Lawson deems himself a bad man, I can’t help but think otherwise. Sure he kills people, but I’m willing to sit beside him after every kill and wash the blood from his hands, I’m willing to give myself to him wholly for just a morsel of his time and affection.

  Beneath the blood and death, lives a man waiting for discovery.

  He’s already given me more than any man ever has, and I feel like it was all worth it. Every little thing that’s been exacted on my body is finally losing its power now I’m in the hands of a man who doesn’t know how to stop himself from trusting his heart.

  Lawson Matthews may be a killer, but he never gave up his heart to follow the rules.

  “Are you gonna come out?” Liam asks, seconds after knocking on my door. “Or are you gonna continue sulkin’?”

  I cast him an unimpressed look.

  “Do you dislike me because I’m some girl off the streets or because you’re scared I’m going to take Eden’s place?”

  Liam chuckles. “Oh, Suga’, I have no fear about which seat you’ll take in this household, but believe me, you’ll never be anythin’ remotely close to Eden.”

  “Okay, so you must either hate me or don’t like how close I’m getting to Lawson.”

  “Yeah, that’s some of the reasons,” he starts, leaning further against the doorframe. “But I also don’t like girls who think they can look at the boss, get stars in their eyes and believe love at first sight is a real thing.”

  “Never felt love?” I ask him, feeling my tone turning involuntarily tender underneath the sarcasm.

  “Oh, no, I have,” he tells me, pushing away from the frame. “But it always ends in tears.”

  “Spoken like a man who’s had his heart broken more than once,” I admonish, trying in vain to be vindictive, but I find it hard when he clearly just gave a piece of himself to me.

  “It’s why I don’t worry myself with relationships,” he admits, and his entire body loosens. “Now, come on out … you didn’t eat breakfast, least you can do is join us for dinner.”

  Without another word, he turns on his heels and leaves the room; I hear him walk down the hallway and say he tried. I decide to stop acting like a petulant child and get up from the bed. I have to prove myself, show them all my worth, and hiding away is not helping my cause.

  I walk with a purpose, forcing myself to act as if I am one of them – even if I know I am not.

  Entering the kitchen area, I notice everyone grabbing Chinese cartons from the table, all tucking in with chopsticks and my stomach reacts.

  “Take a pew and grab some sticks, Sweethawt,” Liam says, patting the seat beside him. He doesn’t look at me, only continues to unwrap his chopstick. “We ordered everything … Lawson didn’t know what you ate.”

  I smile tightly as Liam finally looks at me and I take the seat beside him. His amicability toward me allows me to breathe a little easy even as everyone watches me.

  “Where is Lawson?” I ask, looking around the table, opening my chopsticks.

  “Getting ready,” Nate muses, shoveling a load of food onto his fork. He clearly failed eating like everyone else.

  “Getting ready?” I ask, and while I look around the table, I eventually end up looking at Liam for answers. “Where’s he going?”

  Immediately, my subconscious casts Eden’s face into my mind, and I feel the bitterness erode my system.

  “Don’t look so panicked,” Liam soothes. “He has a meeting at some club downtown. He’s just getting’ himself pretty for it.” He gives me a wink. “No Eden tonight.”

  I cock a brow, wondering how the hell he could guess that one.

  “How do you figure that?” I ask, my voice harsher than I mean. “Seems to be wherever you are she is.”

  “Best buds,” he says, shrugging. “Any guy around this table will vouch for that fact. I’d lay my life on the line for her or Lawson … can’t stop a girl from comin’ home.”

  “What makes her so special?”

  “Nothin’,” he tells me, shoveling a load of food into his mouth. He chews heavily, speaking around each mouthful. “She’s like my sister, and while she’s a little hurricane most days, I would kill any man that hurt her … no exceptions.”

  “So, you’ll look after her even though she’s clearly caught you all off guard?” I ask, pulling the sticks apart with a heavier force than I mean. “She seems to have riled you all up the wrong way … yet here you are protecting her.”

  “It’s an unwritten rule…” Liam trails off.

  “Look, love,” Frazer starts, dumping his carton down. “Eden is like fuckin’ royalty. Much like Lawson. She could kill a whole fuckin’ room, and I’d still bow at her feet.”

  “Out of fear,” I utter my derogatory comment.

  “No, that’s where you’re wrong,” Frazer says, using his chopsticks to point at me. “I’d bow at that girl’s feet because one day she will rule this city … whether it’s how she and Lawson planned it or how their fathers did … it’ll happen. So you either catch up with the trend, or you get caught up in it.”

  I scoff in disbelief, looking around at them before I snicker at their obedience.

  “Like fuck am I going to bow at her feet,” I say, my tone taut.

  “Then get caught up in it,” Frazer remarks, and every man at his side agrees with him. “You had a chance to better your odds … you just lost.”

  “Yeah, okay,” I say, slamming my chopsticks down. “I’m not hungry.”

  “You’ve got to eat,” Liam says, finally piping up.

  I noticed his silence more than anyone’s while Frazer spoke. The profoundness of it told me more than any word he could’ve spoken. I knew I was in for a hard time, but it just got made tougher.

  As I leave the table, ignoring his concern, I make a beeline for the one place I know will make sense – or so I hope. I leave them, heading toward Lawson’s bedroom. I knock but get no reply, so I enter and instantly hear the sound of a running shaver coming from the bathroom. I cross the room and see the back of him. His muscular back is on show, the last remnants of a shower glisten across the contours of his every muscle and scars and I allow my eyes to trace downwards until I see he’s only wrapped in a towel.

  “Getting a good look?”

  I jump, looking up to see that Lawson has clocked me in the mirror’s reflection. While his eyes twinkle, he doesn’t stop shaving. He looks back at his reflection and continues to trim his stubble, and I notice he’s not going for a clean shave, but tidying up.

  “Just wanted to see why you weren’t eating,” I muse, stepping closer to him.

  “Busy gettin’ ready,” he tells me, his tone clipped.

  “So, I see,” I note, nodding toward him. “I wanted to apologize for earlier. This has been a crazy couple of days.”

  “It’s fine,” Lawson remarks, turning his shaver off. “I have a job at six, so I need to be on top form. I’ve eaten but wanted Liam to make sure you ate too. I need to meet with a guy … we’re makin’ it another night out.”

  “Is that all you do with your downtime?” I ask, cocking a brow. “Drink?”

  Lawson smirks, still not turning to face me. “How else do you expect to spend it, Princess?” he asks, using that nickname again. “There is nothin’ good about being sober.” Now he turns, resting slightly against the counter the moment he’s facing me. Now I see his abs
in all their glory. “Alcohol promises looser morals.”

  I feel a blush creep its way onto my face. This man exceeds the term drop dead gorgeous.

  “Think you have enough time to get ready?” he asks, ignoring my sudden colored cheeks.

  “Yeah,” I say, my voice is dry.

  “Like what you see?” he asks a teasing smirk on his lips.

  I don’t reply instantly, and I notice his hand shift. I catch sight of what he’s doing just as his towel drops from his waist and pools at his feet. I steady my breathing as I dare myself to look up from his feet. As I do, my eyes focus on the erection, and I can’t help but smile.

  “How about some fun before we head out?” he asks, stepping forward. “You clearly don’t have an appetite. I’ll make you get one.”

  “Lawson,” I resist, telling myself I don’t need him. “I can’t.”

  “Why?” he questions. “Because you think I’m going to run away with Eden?”

  “You did last night,” I tell him, unable to hide the bitter shreds in my tone. “I fell too quickly; I don’t want to turn into the girl I was earlier.”

  “Then be the girl you were last night,” he tells me. “The girl that was going to fight. That’s what you repeated earlier, too. Be her.” He inches forward; the butterflies erupt violently in my stomach. “She’s much sexier than the jealous bitch.”

  “But Eden,” I say, ushering the worries into the air.

  “No, but Eden anythin’,” he soothes, not letting her ruin this. “She’s not out concern.”

  “She is when all your men worship her,” I mutter, unable to meet his gaze.

  “No,” he says, deadpan. “They worship the girl she used to be. I realized last night she’s long gone.” I can depict the sober tone to his voice, and he breaks my heart.

  “She did a real number on you, didn’t she?”

  “Yeah, but her selfishness isn’t grantin’ her passes into my life. I can’t cut her out like you expect me to, but I can prove who I want.”

  He reaches out, placing careful fingers onto my elbow so he can pull me forward. Dragging me into his embrace, his body heat envelopes me, and the smell of his shower gel intoxicates me.