Sweet Venom (Crazy in Love #1)

by Kirsty-Anne Still

  Sometimes I like to take control, prove I’m capable and be my own person in a world I know is going to drag me under the current.

  I make my way to the bar, gazing across the crowds of people for a place anywhere away from Eden. I realize my luck ended with Lawson’s kiss when I see the only spot available is by her. I take it upon myself to be the better person, and I stride over confidently. The bartender notices me immediately and waits for my order.

  “Can I get the same round again for that table?” I ask with a smile. “Lawson has a tab opened.”

  “He’s already got you doing his handy work,” Eden muses, taking the glass away from her red lips. “And you obey.”

  I don’t reply, just keep my head forward.

  “Do his kisses still make the world disappear?” she asks, only now do I notice her words slurring a little. “I always used to love how nothing else mattered when he kissed me. My world would stop spinning, but I wouldn’t live any less.”

  “Yeah,” I start, treading softly. “He has the same effect.”

  “Not to interfere,” she starts.

  “But you’re going to anyway,” I ask, rolling my eyes.

  “Only out of kindness this time,” she states, ignoring my comment. “There’s a guy, up in the middle booth.” She looks over her shoulder, right at the man sitting alone and turns back. “He keeps begging the bartender to find out your name. He’s been making comments about you all evenin’ to the bar staff.”

  “How do you know that?” I ask, feeling disbelief creep into my system.

  “I’ve been sat here almost all evenin’ … but ask the bartender … he wanted to send you a drink, but he was told not to because of the company you keep.” I watch Eden, trying hard to depict the lie in her words, but it’s hard. “He asked for your name … all he kept saying was about the brunette in a navy dress sitting with the Matthews group.” She gives me a friendly smile. “Tess is wearin’ gold … and as lovely as Liam looks in a good dress, you’re the only other brunette.”

  “I’m not interested,” I say, choosing not to believe him.

  “Then tell him that,” she tells me, nodding over to the man in question. “Take a drink over to him, thank him, show him how grateful you are and then walk away and go to the man you like.”

  “Why are you helping?” I ask, leaning heavier against the bar. “If I remember correctly, the guy I like is the same one you do.”

  “No, Sweetie,” Eden says, reaching for the stem of her martini glass. “The guy you like is the guy I love. Huge difference.” She takes a long sip, licking her red lips afterward. “Now, in sayin’ that, I also have Lawson’s best interests at heart … seein’ you go to another man with a drink will drive him crazy, but the moment you walk away and go back to him, he’ll feel like he hit the jackpot. He deserves to have that feelin’.”

  “Why are you so nice to me?”

  “I’m not doin’ it for you,” she grouses, resentfully. “I’m doin’ it for him.”

  I think about it for a moment and look over my shoulder and see the man in the middle staring at me. He raises his glass at me, offering me a small smile and turn back.

  “That’s the guy who Lawson met with earlier,” I state, horrified.

  “I know … you were a part of the bargain,” Eden says, her hand curling around the martini glass. “Lawson wasn’t allowin’ it.”

  “Why not?”

  “You aren’t a pawn,” she tells me, shaking her head. “You’ll learn quickly in the company of The Firm that women aren’t a form of payment.” She slides a drink toward me. “So, you’re not addin’ it to the tab …” she says, presenting me with a full shot. “He loves a whiskey sour shot after any business deal. He hasn’t had one yet.” She realizes the dubious look she was going to give me. “I was going to take him one … Jay was an old friend of my father’s.”

  “Do you need some help, Princess?” Liam asks, coming to my side. “You’re taking your sweet time.”

  “No,” I say, looking at him with a smile. “I’ve put an order in, but I’m going to take Jay a drink … thank him for his business but politely tell him I’m only interested in one guy in this club … and he isn’t it.”

  “Whiskey sour?” he asks, pointing at the drink. I nod, and he rubs his hands together. “He’ll love you and hate you all at once.” He keeps a look, one full of admiration. “But it’s about time you meet our associates … you’ve lived a tame life with us so far …” Liam announces and looks over at Lawson and then to Jay. “Jay’s lovely. He didn’t realize you and Lawson were tied … he feels awful about asking for you. Did Eden spin you some cock and bull story?”

  “No … she said how Jay wanted me to be a part of the bargain, but he’s still trying to find out my name.” I pick the drink up. “I’m going to take him this and tell him I’m with Lawson. You okay with the drinks?”

  “Eh, yeah,” Liam replies, looking at the bar as the tender puts the fresh drinks down. “But I’m keepin’ close in case of any funny business.”

  “Jay’s harmless,” Eden remarks, hitting Liam.

  “To most,” Liam states harshly. “Go … I’ll stay close.”

  “Can I get another whiskey sour,” Eden orders, her attention completely turned away from me.

  I take one last look at Liam, look over at Lawson who’s looking a little baffled and make my way to Jay’s booth. I watch pure enlightenment swarm in his eyes. He looks more than happy to see me, clearly pleased I didn’t hesitate to make my way over to him.

  “Here was me thinkin’ I’d only get to watch you from afar,” he says when I’m close.

  I give him a tight smile. “I heard whiskey sours were your preferred poison,” I tell him, politely. He gestures for me to sit, so I do. “I just wanted to say thank you for taking Lawson up on the job and for understanding that we’re just getting started in a relationship.”

  I know that’s a lie, but what else do you say to a guy who’s apparently smitten with you.

  Lawson isn’t the only factor stopping me from progressing this moment. I have been used as a wager for too long, a part of me fell in love with Lawson for being different again.

  “I only asked for a night of your company,” he admits.

  “A night for you is a night away from him.” My statement is formally spoken, and I meet his eyes. “I’m sorry, Mr. Anderson, but I’ve been used a lot as the bargaining chip to a lot of men … I can’t continue to be one.”

  “The name’s Jay,” he says, softly. “Take a seat,” he says, shifting over to give me a wide birth. “I tried my luck,” he tells me. “He shot me down … I took him up on the job because he’s good at what he does.”

  “But you keep staring,” I say, feeling uncomfortable.

  “You’re an exceptionally beautiful woman,” he tells me, his eyes involuntarily dropping down before returning to meet my gaze. “Can’t deny a man for trying.” He takes the drink I brought him. “Thanks for this,” he tells me, lifting it to his lips. “Lawson will understand soon why the job carried such a high cash price.”

  He looks over to Lawson, I do too, toasts to him across the distance and downs the drink in one. He lets out a pleasurable gasp and slams the glass down.

  “I love doing business with a Matthews,” he admits, cheerfully.

  But his smile disperses, his expression falls, and I watch in horror as redness rushes up to his face, his eyes bulging as he reaches for the collar of his shirt, struggling with every inhale. He grabs me, and I yelp as his fingers wrap around my forearm, each finger tightening as he fights against his unwilling lungs.

  I’m speechless as death unravels before my eyes, befriending me all over again.

  I fight against him, more so as he coughs up blood, and I become frantic. I pull away, pushing myself to the edge of the booth, trying to get my freedom but his fingers are locked like a vice, burying into my skin with bruising force.

  I notice there’s chaos erupting around me, barely
take notice that it’s all coming my way. I shallow my breathing as Jay’s eyes widen, the fear in them something I’ll never forget, but I still continue to fight. I’m almost near the point of giving up, frozen in shock until Lawson pulls me from the booth, wrapping his arms around me.

  “Someone help him!” Lawson bellows, moving me away.

  Liam and Frazer rush onto either side of the booth, trying in vain to help the man. I watch from beyond Lawson’s hold as they try to save Jay. I close my eyes as they pull him from the booth and lay him on the ground.

  I know it’s already too late.

  “Eden,” I say, unable to find the words around the lump in my throat. “Eden gave me a drink to take to him.”

  “What?” Lawson asks, releasing me. “What did you say?”

  “Eden gave me the drink to give to him,” I tell him, falling from his embrace. “She told me to give him a drink, turn him down, and go back to you.”

  “Is that what you were doin’?” he asks, furrowing his brow at me. “Thankin’ him?”

  “Basically,” I say, shrugging before I reach up to wipe my tears. “She gave me a whiskey sours to give him.”

  I watch as thunder begins to form in his eyes, his jaw becomes locked, his eyes fiery with rage, his shoulders become squared. He breaks away from me, distancing himself as he takes a few steps backward until he turns and makes a fast advance for Eden.

  “Eden!” Lawson bellows her name deafeningly. “What the fuck are you playin’ at?”

  She spins on the seat, looking every inch of innocence she claims to be.

  “I don’t know what you mean,” she says, confusion masking her. “I’ve been sat here most of my evenin’.”

  “Are the pills you’re poppin’ addlin’ with your fuckin’ rationale?” he asks her, pointing at his head manically.

  “No,” Eden replies, not letting what happened affect her. “Why would they?” she asks and smirks. “If anythin’, they make life a little more fun.” She then looks away from Lawson to look directly at me, and I see the real Eden, the one they all feared would really turn up. “Welcome to The Firm, Honey,” she remarks, holding out her Martini to toast me. “You’re one of us now …” she trails off, pursing her lips together for a moment, looking me up and down “Well almost.”

  “You’re a psycho!” I declare, unashamed of the fact.

  “I know,” she agrees, happily. "But just remember,” she starts, slipping from her chair to stand before me. “These violent delights have violent ends, Love," she says, a new fire burning in her eyes.

  "Don't quote Shakespeare at me,” I sneer.

  "Oh, I'm not," Eden starts, a devilish smile draws upon her perfect lips. "I'm merely setting the pace."

  “Of all the stupidly crazy shit you’ve done, this is by far your worst.”

  His words hit me hard, each pushing a fresh shard of pain through my heart, but I tell myself not to let it show. I take in a deep inhale of air, placing that bright smile onto my lips and show that his words don’t harm me. He’s becoming disappointed in the girl who came home, and it’s showing.

  But I can’t care, not when my motives are sane.

  “Well … she had it comin’,” I start, shaking my head nonchalantly. “She threatens everythin’.”

  “Everythin’ or your low chance of getting’ back together with me?” Lawson asks, the malice behind his voice is hard to hear. “And to take out Jay to get your way?” he questions, confusion killing his conviction. “I had just set up one of my biggest jobs with him.”

  “I had my reasons.”

  “Then tell me,” Lawson says, begging almost. “Because I’m beyond lost why you had to ruin somethin’ else for me!”

  I can tell he’s getting angry and I know he’s allowed to be, but I had my reasons – just like I told him.

  I have a lot of reasons that not many know about.

  “You are set to destroy everythin’ you touch. It took me all this time to see that you ruin everythin’ you touch,” he says, lashing out. “You should never have come back.”

  While he’s words hurt, I allow the pain to settle.

  “I had every right to come home,” I reply, my words bitter from his attack. “Don’t you dare fuckin’ take that away from me, asshole.”

  He shakes his head, and I see the fear in his eyes as he realizes that we’re becoming beyond estranged from one another. That fresh, ugly love that once fueled us is now the knife separating us.

  “Just admit you’ve picked Ashley, Lawson,” I say, moving the conversation onwards. “That’s why you’re getting nasty. You finally moved on, and here I am jeopardizing it all. My welcome home party didn’t happen because I’m a fuckin’ inconvenience because you just decided to throw your heart at the first girl who wanted to try and love every fuckin’ piece of you like only I could.”

  “And you don’t think she can?” he asks.

  “Honestly?” I ask, rounding up every truth in me. “No, I don’t. I don’t think she can even love you a fraction of how I do. There is no way in hell she can ever love you like I have.” I fix my gaze onto his beautiful one and allow the heat of my anger ravage me whole. “How many nights will it take for her to grow bored of cleanin’ the blood off of you, Lawson? How quick will it take for her to see the monster you are? What death count will she get to before you sicken her?”

  “You don’t know her,” he grouses.

  “No, maybe I don’t, but I know you,” I tell him, giving him my most honest truth I ever held.

  “I know you’re tryin’ to plant every seed of doubt you fuckin’ can, but you don’t know her. You only know the parts you do, and that’s the one that you think gives you the right to kill her.”

  I laugh, quite loudly as my arms cross over my chest.

  “You think my reasons are so petty for wantin’ her dead, but I only want her dead because she’ll corrupt you all!” I announce, not keeping my voice quiet. “I looked her up, looked at her past, saw who she’s been with. It wasn’t too hard to find out … Seamus told me how little you knew, and I knew the same amount. But a woman who’s tied to people like Bryce Rainey and Harvey King doesn’t stay completely hidden. You always knew my brother was a whizz on computers … why you went to your father and the O’Reilly’s for help and not him is beyond me.”

  “We haven’t spoken,” I say, albeit ashamedly.

  “No … so I heard,” I scold. “You should know that my main motives are done with you at heart.”

  “Should I?” he asks, a severe tone punctuates his words. “Because I don’t know anythin’ anymore where you’re concerned.”

  I laugh. “Regardless, you knew Alex was your best bet in a matter like this. He would’ve helped you regardless what happened between the pair of us.” I feel a fresh anger rise in me, one forged by the way my brother’s been treated since the day I left. “He was your brother as much as he is mine.”

  “I know,” Lawson replies, rubbing the back of his

  “Do you?” I ask, incredulously. “We were one large happy fuckin’ family once upon a time. We all dealt the same fuckin’ hand, vowed we’d never split regardless what corner you sent Tess to and no matter what I did to lessen the impact on Alex. We promised to stick together.”

  “You left first,” he states the obvious, and while he looks at me, I can see the regret loop through the blues of his eyes. “And you never came back.”

  “But I did,” I tell him, forcing him to see me standing here, a woman bare and vulnerable. “I had every reason to stay away … you were always going to be my reason to come home.”

  “And look what you came home to,” he begins to say. “Me movin’ on.”

  I know he’s lashing out, using the menacing tone and every hurtful word he can drive at me.

  “Maybe so, but that means nothin’,” I state, trying to remain stoic against the truth.

  “Eden, it means everythin’,” he tells me, unrelenting. “Ashley awakened something in me I haven�
��t felt in such a long time. Something I haven’t felt in all the time you were gone. When I saw you again the other day, I thought I could forget about her, but I can’t. She’s under my skin.” I watch him intently, his words becoming rougher and the moment he’s heavy gaze hits mine, I felt the earth move beneath me. “And you’re not the girl I loved … I don’t know you.”

  Our entire love story unravels by that one truth.

  We were only ever meant to be the sweetest of venoms. Lawson and I. That was how it was always meant to be. We were meant to pull this city apart and dance in the ruins.

  That was the plan once I fell wholeheartedly for him.

  He took me, consumed me whole and breathed enough corruption into my angel wings to make me forget about their whiteness. He pulled the darkness from my soul in the exact same way I did to him.

  We could’ve stayed pure had we both not wanted to rip the city from our fathers’ hands.

  We could’ve been everything but what we are now.

  We were only ever meant to be the sweetest of venom.

  But fate had other ideas for us.

  The sorriest fact is that I’d always let myself tumble to the edge with Lawson Matthews.

  With hands on hips, teeth on lips, nails digging into skin, completely lost to the world – that was where I always wanted to exist. That was my forever state.

  Ashley is the threat that tars every beat my heart skips in its presence.

  Every thought that Lawson consumes, she’s there too.

  Some would say jealousy was my driving force, but that would be too obvious. While jealousy made me dangerous, love made me deadly. I was yet to put a real plan into motion. All I’d been able to do was place careful scare tactics out there, driving the idea of imminent death into Ashley like so many victims before her.

  Finally, I dare myself to reply, but what I want to say is not enough to heal the cracks band-aids cover. I tore a void into Lawson with my own bare hands, and that will forever be my deadliest crime. I knew what I was doing when I made my choices; I knew what fresh hell I’d reap because I knew the repercussions of my disappearance would mimic what Lawson’s would do to me.