Sweet Venom (Crazy in Love #1)

by Kirsty-Anne Still

  “Come with me,” Eden says, seconds later grabbing my hand and pulling me from the stool.

  I barely get a chance to ask before we’re in the middle of the dancefloor and she’s pulling me close to her body, our faces inches apart. I can’t help how uncomfortable I feel, being this close to the woman who’s vying for the same heart as me.

  “What are you doing?” I gasp, the moment her hand slips onto my ass.

  “Go with it,” she softly orders. “We needed the heat off of us.” Her hands move, one curling around the back of my head, pulling me close. “Lawson wants to talk to an old colleague, but he noticed me here.”

  “Bone of contentment,” I mutter, trying my hardest to relax.

  “Always,” she whispers almost sensually into my ear. “Now, he needs to know Lawson and I aren’t together. We rattled a lot of cages in our time … it’s time to tell people that we’re in the past.”

  “Even though you were grinding each other,” I bite, bitterly.

  “Old habits die hard,” she tells me, pulling away to look at me. “Now, be a babe and kiss me.” She gives me a hard smile, her eyes glistening with tease. “I like my kissers to be a bit of a biter,” she tells me, smirking. “Lawson’s going to tell him we’re not an item and if he sees me kissing you that’s extra ammo to us.”

  “So, I’m just a pawn,” I utter, realizing my place.

  “We’re all just pawns,” she tells me, rolling her eyes. “Don’t act so hurt and offended that it’s just you.” She sees me settle and grins. “Now, fuckin’ kiss me and let’s get this over with.”

  She pulls me closer, her hands on the back, her fingers press into me, and slowly her lips press against mine. She’s natural with the way she kisses me, and I can’t help but fall for the sweet seduction of her lips against mine. My arms involuntarily curl around her tiny frame as one of her hands comes up to thread with my hair. I hear her moan before the kiss comes to an end and we pull away.

  “You’ve done this before,” she says, grinning wildly at me. “Haven’t you?”

  I bite my lip.

  “You minx,” she says, giggling. “Now,” she starts, pulling me close. “Let’s see if we’ve made them all hot under the collar.”

  I catch a glimpse of Lawson watching, a hand on his jaw as he watches us intently. The older man opposite looks shocked. The moment he catches my gaze he looks away, leaning in to tear Lawson’s attention away.

  “Harrison’s lookin’ flustered,” Eden suddenly states, laughing.

  “The guy with Lawson looks unimpressed.”

  “Good,” she tells me and withdraws to look at me. Her hands fall onto my hips, allowing us to look close without being so. “When I took over it was because I had to tell Lawson something important,” she tells me as we settle into a good groove with the music. “Langdon Smith is the guy Lawson is sitting with, and he approached me. I didn’t think anything of it at first, but he said something that really put me on edge. I couldn’t let Lawson go into that meeting without knowing.”

  “What?” I ask, pulling away.

  “It was to do with my scar,” she says, and I can hear the undertone of anger in her voice. “If Langdon had anything to do with it, like I think he did, then I can understand why Leo said he couldn’t help.” Her eyes fill with worry. “That means I was right to leave and save Lawson.”

  “Who is Langdon exactly?”

  “He’s one of the descendants of the founding families of The Firm,” she tells me, educating me as we continue to dance. “While, Lawson and I are seen as royal bloods, and our fathers had such credibility it’s because our families proved themselves to the foundin’ families …”

  “So, this Langdon holds a lot of power?” I ask, trying to make sense of the information.

  “All of the power,” she states, firm with that comment.

  I can see the fear in her eyes, and I can sense how her breathing is changing. It’s as if the enormity of the situation just settled, weighing down to press every precious piece of air from her lungs.

  “Eden,” I say, a worrisome tone takes over as I watch her struggle to draw her breaths.

  “I’ll be right back,” she tells me, finally placing a distance between us. “I just need a drink.”

  I watch her rush off, turning to look at Lawson I can see they are still enthralled by their meeting.

  “Why did she run off?” Frazer asks, suddenly at my side.

  I look, seeing Dylan holding the door to the room he put our bags in the open for her.

  “I have an idea,” I say, placing a hand on his arm. “Keep close to Lawson … I think Langdon Smith had something to do with the night Eden took off.”

  I see the grave look take over. “I’ll make sure Harrison is around to look after you both.”

  “Okay,” I say, grateful before I take off.

  Weaving through the crowds of people, I give Dylan a look, and he nods his head at the door. I rush passed the bar, pushing the door open to reveal a small kitchen area. It’s bland and clean, and I scan the room trying to find Eden. I find her sat in the corner, collapsed with the orange pot of pills, her hand is curled around it. I watch her lips move, silently counting with her eyes closed.

  “Eden,” I tenderly say her name and push all of my feelings aside to focus on her.

  “Don’t!” she says, putting her hand out to stop me. “I just need a moment.”

  I nod, standing where I am, but allow myself to crouch down so I’m on her level instead of looking down on her. It’s now I see how violently her hand is shaking and how she’s trying to control it.

  “Talk to me,” I say, forcing her to get out of her own head. “Why did you panic?”

  “Because it all makes sense,” she says. I can now see how dilated her pupils are which tells me she downed some of the pills in the pot. “In the beginnin’, I didn’t want to believe our own would do something so final, but Langdon never liked Lawson and me … more so when we broke away and did our own thing. I didn’t know it was him behind the hit on me until a few months down the line when my brother found out.” She gulps. “But even then it was just rumored … I have never had full proof. Which means no one else knows that Langdon broke cardinal rules of The Firm. He committed treason.”

  “So, Lawson’s drinking with the enemy?”

  “Everyone’s your enemy in this life,” Eden states, dryly. “If what he says had any truth then that means he’s back to finish it,” she tells me, tears fill her blue eyes. “It doesn’t matter that I left and let Lawson go back to The Firm … it doesn’t matter because a vendetta was never finalized.”

  “So he wants you and Lawson dead?”

  She nods, trying in vain to steady her breathing. I can see she’s unraveling in front of me. Her chest heaves and I can hear how struggled her breath is becoming. Reddish starts to burst up her face, only magnifying the more she loses control. On instinct, I reach out and slap her, a solid hit across her face.

  “Ashley!” she screams, clutching her offended cheek. “What the fuck was that for?”

  “I’m sorry!” I exclaim, putting my hands up. “I’ve never been a girl to comfort someone. You were starting to hyperventilate, and I didn’t know what to do.” I want to laugh as I watch her try to make sense. “Did it help?”

  “Yeah,” she replies sheepishly. “Thanks.”

  “Girls!” Frazer’s voice assaults the calm as the door flies open. He freezes at the sight of us. “You can stop the lesbian act,” he jokes but sobers when he sees the pills in Eden’s hand. “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah,” she quickly says, shoving the pills into her bag. “What’s up?”

  “Lawson’s settin’ a plan in motion with Langdon Smith,” Frazer tells us. “The guy loves the fact that Lawson came back to The Firm.”

  “What about me?” Eden asks, arms wrapped around herself.

  “You’re the gray area, Sweethawt,” he states. “He’s dealin’ with you, but he does not like it. He
said it’d be good if you brought that bitch ass attitude back to The Firm and used it for their benefit and not your own.”

  I watch her falter, but she shakes it off trying to be stronger than she can possibly be. Frazer obviously doesn’t know the truth.

  “So, what happens now?” I ask, pushing the conversation away.

  “Well, Langdon wants Lawson back in The Firm … which is a good idea seein’ as Leo wants that … but Langdon has a few names of people he wants gone.”

  “Which suits Lawson,” Eden says, understanding where this is going more than me. “So, Lawson is making allies in The Firm to help break the ties from it.”

  “Exactly!” Frazer says, excitedly. “Obviously, Langdon on our side is a major pull for us.”

  I look at Eden, feeling the fear becoming real. She gives me a look, telling me to keep quiet.

  “You girls’ comin’ out?” he asks suddenly. “Lawson’s gettin’ ready to leave. It’s been a dull evenin’ all things considered.”

  “He doesn’t want to draw any more attention to himself,” Eden states. “Go and meet Lawson, we’ll grab our things and meet you outside in a moment.”

  He listens as Eden grabs her jacket and bag.

  “Will you tell him?” I ask, stopping her from leaving after Frazer.

  “I will,” she vows. “But when we’re not around listening ears. Langdon Smith has eyes and ears everywhere … I’m not risking it now.”

  I nod and silently promise to let her tell Lawson.

  “I think we could’ve been great friends if Lawson wasn’t between us,” she tells me, and I feel the sincerity in her words. “Shame really.”

  “We have until midnight,” I remind her.

  Her face blossoms, all of her negative emotions drop away. “Yeah, we do.”

  I watch the fire crackle, keep staring at the way the flames dance and flicker as they curl into the air. There’d be so many nights after a hit where I’d sit in this spot, with a glass of liquor and wait for Lawson to name our next steps.

  We’d be consumed in our own bloodlust, wanting nothing more than to reap hell on The Firm and force people to fear us and not the name of our fathers. It all seemed important once upon a time, but now everything’s changed. I’d rather fight for Lawson’s heart than anyone else’s approval.

  All the times my father called me an immature warrior, I used that as my foundation to revolt upon and now I realize I was.

  This new fight, the fresh war waging, has a purpose.

  Liam was more than just a member of The Firm. He was family. He was one of us. Like the others, they’re a different cut from the men Leo keeps by his side. They have their fingers wrapped ever so lightly around the edge of their consciences in the vain hope that one day they’ll be able to cleanse their sins from it.

  Lawson’s no different.

  Neither am I.

  “I’m wiped out,” Ashley says falling down beside me on the couch.

  And nor is Ashley.

  I look at her – my friend for the evening – and a part of me wishes it wasn’t the way it had to be, but I realize that we never stood a chance to be anything but what we are becoming.

  “Better get some beauty sleep,” I quip, chortling a little as I raise my glass to my lips. “This was a slow evenin’ in comparison to what’s to come.” I take a sip and curl the glass into my chest as I look over at her. “Lawson doesn’t take mercy on his victims or his partners.”

  I know I have the upper hand with knowing how Lawson’s plays, but she has the upper hand knowing how I’ll do anything to have Lawson fall back in love with me. We know one another’s weakness and we share the same end goal.

  I wondered if Lawson ever thought of the effect he had. The real effect that is. I wonder if he realizes the way she’s falling in love with him has me unraveling, and while I hold onto him with every inch of my strength, I know it won’t be enough.

  It doesn’t weaken my fight.

  “He plays rough, huh?” she asks and sighs as I nod. “I knew what I was getting into the night he killed Bryce, but shoot me for hoping he’d see sense and realize life wasn’t about that.”

  “His life is,” I counter, making her see sense in her logic. “Lawson always vowed that once the jobs were done and the dust settled it’d be just him and me. We’d leave this city, find another, and start a real life.” I look at her, giving her a weak smile. “One really worth living.”

  “And then the attack happened, I’m guessing,” she assumes, and I nod to verify her guess. “If he proposed, why did you run?”

  “Cowardice,” I admit, facing back toward the fire. I never hesitate with the truth of how I behaved that night. “There’s no other answer, and I could paint it up and make myself look less like the villain in this, but I broke his heart through sheer cowardice.” I down the rest of my drink and tilt my head back to her. “Now, I get through the day with heavy pills and bottles of good liquor.”

  “I don’t get it,” she starts, unfazed by my statement. “You don’t come across as someone who runs from what they want.”

  “I wasn’t always like that … just that night caught me unaware,” I tell her, shrugging. “I know not everything’s for life. My parents were the few that genuinely loved each other … flaws and all. That was how I saw Lawson and me. We just fit together, and there was no denyin’ it.” I allow a little chuckle to escape me at the irony. “But in my head, I always wondered if the darkness would one day take over so wholly we’d learn to loathe what we became.” I look into my empty glass, knowing I’ll need more. “It was a moment of stupid, idiotic doubt and it ended how it did.” I push a smile onto my lips, trying to be brave in the face of my heart-breaking past. “But if there’s one thing I learned from this it was that you should always trust your heart. No matter what you did, what voice is yelling in your head, if you find a man that loves the way blood stains your hands, you love him back, and you never let him doubt that fact.” I feel the crushing truth of my own words. “Not like I did.”

  “I don’t think that fact has changed,” she supposes, unable to meet my gaze.

  “Honey,” I begin to say, shifting on my seat to prepare to stand. “He hasn’t seen the way blood stains your hands yet.”

  I leave her, dropping my empty glass by the decanter and walk away, consumed wholly by thoughts. I walk the halls of the loft, allowing my hand to run along the wall as I remember the life I had in these very walls. Without much thought, I walk to Lawson’s bedroom, trying to find him. He needs to know about Langdon before I let him fall further into the lion’s den.

  I hear the shower; I wonder if I should go and find him. Before I would never have questioned it. My motives would’ve been sinfully pleasurable. Goading myself, I push myself toward the open door and allow the lure of steam to draw me closer than ever.

  I’m inches away from being in the room when I catch sight of his perfect ass. Fuck, how that was a good ass to grab. A swirl of heat bursts into my body, and I can’t help how I react to just the glimpse of his naked body. He turns, his eyes closed as he washes his hair and I watch the steam from the shower not quite able to hide his toned body from my watchful gaze. I can feel how clammy my hands have become and I bite my lip – hard.

  He turns again, and I see his eyes set on me.

  The slowest of grins starts to graze across his face. The same one that met me on a Sunday morning when we had nothing to do but live between the sheets. It was the same one that would wipe blood clean off my cheek. It was the same smile that forced me to fall irrevocably in love.

  “Join me,” he orders gently, pushing the door open. “You know there’s more than enough room in here.”

  I look over my shoulder, hesitating because of Ashley, but shame me for always being a sinner. Need wins over friendship, and I allow my greedy hands to tear my clothes away from my body as I cross the room.

  Stepping in, I pull the door shut and find myself chest to chest with Lawson. Nothing else ma
tters – no pasts, no futures, just this moment hangs between us. I swallow hard, allowing him to make the first move, allowing him to pull me wholly back into his world.

  “Do you know how many nights I waited for this?” he asks, his tone dark, his eyes hooded. “How many nights I went hungry without you?” His hands come to cradle my face, and I feel myself weak against his touch. “Craving you wasn’t easy, Dawlin’.”

  “But you survived it,” I remind him. “You outlived my memory.”

  “Not by choice,” he adds, bitterly. “But now you’re here …” he trails off, his face darkening tenfold. “Now, you’re here; I can’t let you go.”

  “That’s not your choice,” I remind him, meeting his gaze with the same conviction he holds. “You have no idea who will win the war you’ve waged between Ashley and me.”

  “If I know you, I know who will win,” he tells me, sounding all too confident.

  “You don’t know her,” I remind him, quipping quickly. “I think she’ll surprise us all.”

  “Then may the better woman win,” he tells me. “Wantin’ you both isn’t easy,” he tells me, remorse underlines his words. “But I do it because I went so long with an empty feelin’ that I had.”

  There are a million words I could speak, a thousand kisses I could dot upon his skin, but none would sum up the jealousy that rips through me at the thought of her winning. So, I remain calm, play coy, and look him square in the eyes.

  “The great loves are the crazy ones,” I quip, matching his smile with my honest one. “Always remember that.”

  “You’re right,” he agrees, a twinkle sparkles in his eyes and I lose myself before he seals the moment with a kiss.

  Unlike any before, I can feel his hunger, and I fall so quickly. The hardened shell around my heart no longer exists, and I fall victim to the hopeless romantic that hoped Lawson would one day take my hand and steal me away from the lives we had taken upon ourselves.

  I wanted to take my beautiful sinner and discover a new lease of life.

  That’s not how fate wanted it.

  Unable to fall for him, I push him away. The same girl that ran from him all that time ago still lives in me, still crippling me with doubt, but now, with my new scars, she wins more times than I can.