Sweet Venom (Crazy in Love #1)

by Kirsty-Anne Still

  I watch her closely as she rambles. I’m trying to keep up, but I’m struggling. I slump down onto my ass and ignore her for a moment. I try to make my mind boggle less and digest what she’s saying, but all I can see is the blood on the floor, remembering how it got there.

  “Yes, that is where Liam died, by the way,” she mutters, pointing to the spot I’m staring at. “Didn’t know where else to go really, but I thought here was a good place. No one will come lookin’ here.”

  “You can’t keep me here,” I say, lifting my hand to my temple and feeling the way my skin splits.

  “Says who?” she queries. “You can hardly state US laws at me like you’re some law-abiding citizen because, let’s face it, you guys are all hardly close to sainthood.”

  I take in the sight of her – really take in the sight of her – and I wish she were the girl who took my orchid. I’d have had much more fun with a challenge than a girl that flittered between strong and weak on a daily basis.

  I guess that was her act. She lured us in with the inexperience and naïveté, a candor Lawson found desirable, only to be playing us all as fucking idiots.

  “What is your plan then?” I ask, steering the conversation. “Kidnap me, kill me, and then what?”

  “Who said your death was on the agenda?” she asks, narrowing her eyes as the thought settles.

  “We both know it is,” I gripe, rolling my eyes. “I’ve met your psychopathic type before.”

  “I bet you haven’t,” she argues, clasping her hands together. “I like to spice things up a little.”

  “So, tell me!” I reply, roaring up. Regretting it almost immediately. “What is your plan?”

  “Easy,” she says before grinning wildly at me. “You’re going to stay here, break Lawson’s heart and I’m going to be the one that heals him and gets what I want ... how it should’ve always been.”

  I look around, my eyes catching sight of the blood stain. Grief meddles with the starting of fear, and I look at her.

  “You can’t keep me here,” I state, shaking my head as the thought nestles into me. “There’s no way you can keep me here.”

  The warehouse is abandoned, the roof caving in, the windows shattered by stones thrown my teenagers. There’s not even a proper door securing this place. There is no way she’d be able to keep me here and believe I’ll stay.

  “No, you’re right, I can’t” she starts, rubbing her hands together in glee. “But he can,” she announces, pointing over my shoulder.

  I look, my head not wanting to turn and find out who’s here with us, but when I do I’m met with a stranger. A man with a dark look in his eyes and an instant disdain to me.

  “What?” I say, looking back at confusion clinches it’s nails into me. “What the fuck is this?”

  “Tony works for me,” she admits, winking over at him. “One of the many things I acquired over the years was a guard or two who would do the heavy duty stuff for me. Like, look after you, Eden.”

  “But how?” I ask, trying to piece this all together. “The contract … you had no one. Your life was part of some stupid contract…”

  “I was never part of any fucking contract,” she admits, laughing as if it’s all so ludicrous. She focuses on me, waiting for the penny to drop and me to realize. “It existed … but it’s not still in action.”

  “I don’t understand,” I admit, creasing my brow as I try to make sense. “Liam said it got delivered. It just turned up,” I pause, now it all makes sense. “Just like you said it would,” I murmur, catching her nodding at me. “You set it up?”

  “Yeah, just like I had planned it,” she tells me, confirming my assumption. “To be honest, Lawson was the first real hero out of all of them. I don’t think I could’ve got away with what I was doing had Bryce actually sold me.”

  “He was fallin’ for you,” I state, feeling the burn of envy in my chest. “And you felt nothin’.”

  “Oh no, let’s not do that,” she says, defying my point. “I was starting to fall for Lawson. The first of them all that actually made me want to throw it all in and give up.”

  “Then, why didn’t you?” I ask, my voice becoming harsh.

  Her grins only widen at me. “Because that’s no fun.”

  I try to wrap my head around her logic, but I fail to get passed the hatred growing in me that she was playing Lawson for a fool. He gave her a roof over her head, a bed to sleep in, a chance at a good life – besides his commitment to The Firm – and it wasn’t good enough. His love wasn’t good enough.

  And that’s the crux of it all – his love wasn’t enough for her.

  “He loved you!” I bellow, allowing my voice to echo around the warehouse. “He was startin’ to fuckin’ fall in love with you!”

  My jealousy becomes a hostile emotion, one I want to claw her throat out for eliciting in me. I’m assaulted by all the times he defended her, kissed her, doted on her, chose her. He was going to choose her.

  “If Liam hadn’t died, he would’ve chosen you,” I say, unable to withhold the hollow sob that leaves me. “He was goin’ to choose you!” I say, letting out the truths I was never blind to. “And you were just fuckin’ playin’ him.”

  “And that is why I never fell for them,” she mocks me. “Emotions are messy and complicated, and they make everything so much harder to deal with.” She pauses, looking at me sternly. “Like you’re proving right now.”

  “I swear to God if I get my hands on you I am rippin’ your pretty little throat out!” I roar, lunging for her. She jumps even though I’m tied to the ground unable to reach her. “Better yet, I’ll wrap this around your neck and squeeze all the life out of you!”

  My anger and violence are met with nothing but her laughter. She falls into hysterics, even bending over as she laughs out loud at my reaction. When she comes to stand straighter, she starts to wipe tears away from the corner of her eye and then focuses on me.

  “I’d like to see you try,” she says, the same mocking tone in place. “I like seeing you like this, Eden. It’s very becoming of you.” She starts to march again, back and forth, all the time never straying far from in front of me. “I watched you when Leo showed the world your scars, and I was admittedly horrified … fuck Eden; the whole room was horrified. But I pitied you. You made one choice which lead to another which led you to ultimately leaving Lawson.”

  I look down, hating that my actions are forever going to be used against me. My life will be governed by my choices, my life determined by the repercussions of them all.

  “Does it ever keep you up at night wondering what would have become of you had you not been such a fucking coward?” she asks, crouching in front of me. “Do you ever lose sleep knowing you could have stopped all this?” she continues, tilting her head mockingly at me. “Like … had you not left that night, you wouldn’t have seen Michael, and you wouldn’t have had acid thrown over you.” She chuckles again. “And your dear old dad would still be alive.”

  “Don’t you dare mention my father,” I say, my voice only short from being a hiss. “He is nothin’ to you!”

  “No, but he’s still everything to you,” she states, knowing that’s the biggest truth ever.

  I hang my head, unable to look at her and show her that she’s right. Everyone knows that the mere mention of my father has me rocked to the core. Not just because of what happened that night but because of my own culpability in the matter.

  “At what point did you go crazy?” she asks, tapping her chin. “The moment you turned your back on Lawson or the moment that acid hit your skin?” She pauses, watching me. “Or … was it when your father bled out, and all you could do was watch as the burning ate through your skin?”

  “I was always crazy,” I mutter.

  “What was that?” she asks, turning her head.

  “I was always crazy!” I snap.

  I thought I bent and broke a long time ago, but apparently, Ashley just pushed me to a whole new level. I lunge for her, f
orgetting about my headache as I concentrate on hurting her to the extreme. The cuff around my wrist bites into my skin, but it doesn’t stop me from igniting fear in her.

  Ashley laughs at me; the maniacal notes only cause a frenzy of ragged emotions to fuel me.

  “You’ll tire yourself soon,” she comments, crossing her arms over her chest as she casually stands before me. “There is no way you’ll get free of that.”

  I don’t let that stop me. I tug harder, pulling until I can feel my hand burning from the metal cuff wearing down against my joint.

  “And then you will realize pathetic little killers don’t deserve saving,” she tells me. “Not like that night with your dad.”

  I don’t react. She’s already seen how using my father against me causes me to enough pain to explode. I allow her to goad me, she can have her moment, but it won’t last.

  “Lawson isn’t going to save you now,” she adds the final blow, and I feel myself cripple. “He thinks we’re shopping. He’ll know nothing but the fact that you ran because you’re nothing but a spineless, faint-hearted coward.”

  “I am not a coward,” I say, finding my voice losing power. I called myself one, but that didn’t give her the right to call me it now. I atoned for my crimes – through death, through pain, through abandonment. “I was … but I’m not anymore.”

  The idea of running had never entered my head. I said I’d leave Lawson in the aftermath of Liam’s death, but that wasn’t what I wanted. I merely thought that was what Lawson needed – me gone.

  “Well,” she jeers, a mirthful lift to her voice. “I’ll have fun making you one.” I can see how much enjoyment she’s getting from this, how much she’s enjoying ripping my life to shreds and leaving me with every single tattered piece. “I guess I never realized how funny this would be, you know?”

  “What?” I ask, slumping down finally, defeated.

  “Did you really think Lawson would just get over the idea of me and fall at your feet?” she asks, ridiculing me with the idea of Lawson’s love. “You did see the way he kissed me on that balcony, right?” she asks, and I want to rip her eyes out. “That’s what your argument always hinged on. And all it took was a bit of fierce attitude, and he fucked me all night long.” She smirks, the corner of her lip twisting upwards. “You running makes sense. What with the scar on your back and the events surrounding it? You feel threatened, now. No one would mind if you were to run again. I just know that people who are that in love don’t run from it.”

  “You’ve clearly never loved the right person,” I snarl, not even bothering to meet her gaze as I insult her.

  Falling in love was quicker than a bullet hitting me. It happened quicker than air filling my lungs, and it was surer than the day turning to night. I was a sinner in and out of love and all because of the same beautiful culprit – Lawson. It’s how I swore it’d always be and I’d live with my hand to a bible swearing it until the day I died.

  Loving Lawson in our little dark world filled me with fear every day – fear of losing him to death, fear of losing him to the darkness we got lost in, fear of losing him to his father. Our world was always unforgiving, it hasn’t changed since, and I knew, one day, something would mean I lost him.

  That didn’t alter even a fraction of my love.

  I ran until the moment I allowed liquor to calm my qualms and I realized that I was a fool – a fool in love. When I left that bar, ignoring Michael’s every advance, it was to find Lawson, wear his ring and tell him that no matter what we were lifelong.

  Fate was cruel that day.

  “I could,” Ashley states, breaking my reverie. “Lawson could be the one I love right.”

  I bite my tongue, tasting copper as I draw blood. She could never love Lawson right, but only because her demons will never match the ones he’s lived with since before we could both remember.

  I think to Lawson. He’s going to be crushed.

  I can’t deal with the idea of any more pain being thrust upon him. The thought alone is so immensely crippling that I wonder if I have the actual strength to allow it to happen. I hurt him once, that’s a cross I’ll bear for the rest of my life. The idea of inflicting that mortal wound on him all over again is something I have never dared think about. I couldn’t bear to run again and destroy him all over again.

  For that, my loathing of her only grows.

  “Right,” she states, looking over me and at Tony. “I better get going.” She walks over to him, crossing closer than ever. “You keep a close eye on her. You can drive the SUV in here and keep yourself.”

  I see my opportunity. She’s so involved with talking to Tony to realize she’s even remotely close to me. I strike, only able to grab her ankle, but it’s enough. The moment her body hits the concrete, I drag her close while lunging simultaneous for a rock next by. I land the rock directly onto her skull, but Tony is quick to react. He grabs me as I raise the rock back up, willing to exact my prior move.

  “Bitch!” Ashley swears, rolling over, clearly disorientated from the singular hit to the head. “Ouch!” she says as she presses a hand to her forehead.

  “You’re lucky you had your pet here,” I snarl, allowing him to hold me back as I take full pride in the gash across her forehead. I don’t care as Tony holds me crushingly, seeing her bleeding is just a sliver of hope for me. I pay no attention to my headache, or the dull ache in my ribs from the attack Ashley orchestrated. “You know full well I’d fuckin’ kill you if you didn’t have the upper hand.”

  “Don’t be gentle with her when I leave,” Ashley says to Tony, ignoring me completely. She stomps over to a bag by the doorway, ripping the zip open she tears out a tissue against her head. “Put her down,” she orders, bringing the bag over with her. Tony obliges, and I drop back to the concrete. “I’m ready to go home.”

  Home. That word is bitter sounding now. How dare she call Lawson’s apartment home when she’s about to rip his world apart.

  “You’re going to write Lawson a little letter,” she starts to tell me. She grins at me. “I’ve found a way to make sure he doesn’t care one bit about you.” Her smile only widens. “I always come with a backup plan,” she admits, placing the pen and paper in front of me. “Wonder what will hurt more … you’ve run away again and wanted him to know all the details why or Langdon Smith got his grubby little hands on you.”

  “Makin’ me write this will hurt him more,” I say, dryly, closing my eyes against the headache. “Don’t do this. It won’t work how you think it will.”

  Grabbing me by the hair, Ashley pulls my head backward, causing me to hiss in pain. She’s leering down over me, the innocent brunette replaced by a crazier being.

  “You seem to not realize anything during this,” she states, almost muttering her words. “I always win. Lawson isn’t the first man I’ve done this to, and he won’t be the last. He’s just another name on a very long list I carry. Getting rid of you helps me get back on track with what I want.” She holds me tighter, forcing my head up more than ever. “Go on,” she coerces, throwing my head forward. “Break his heart … you’re already good at it.”

  “No,” I say, not willing to pick up the pen. “Make him hate Langdon. Make him kill him.”

  I know that’s not her plan, but I hope she’d enjoy being with Lawson enough to see Langdon isn’t her only opportunity.

  “What?” she asks, stepping around me. “So, I can watch him save your pathetic ass again?” she questions, furrowing her brow. “I thought about it. All the way here, it’s all I could think of. It’d explain why you’re gone and it would help Lawson get one step closer to ending The Firm.”

  “But that isn’t what you want,” I rebuke, remembering her words. “You want Lawson dead.”

  “Admittedly, yes, but that’ll be harder to do with the manpower he keeps,” she states, pacing before me. “I know he sleeps with a lot of cash in the apartment. I heard them talking about it on one of my first nights in the loft.”

  �
��You’ll never know where it is,” I snare, trying to rattle her.

  “Oh, on the contrary,” she replies, laughing. “I know that Harrison has a whole load in his room. Plus, Lawson has three safes dotted around his office, hidden in plain sight.”

  “He’ll never give you a cent of it,” I tell her, allowing myself to remain strong regardless of my waning emotions.

  “Maybe not willingly,” she replies, carrying on her thoughtful pace. “But … I was thinking that when the truth finally comes out, he’ll do absolutely anything to save you. Even from little ‘ole me.”

  “If I do this though it’ll take some of your ammunition away,” I say, trying to make sense of her ultimate plan, but it’s messy. “You can’t use me against him.”

  “Not at first, no,” she admits, slowing herself to stop in front of me. “But it allows me to exploit him. May even save him the agony of death … actually no. I like that bit the best.”

  My resolve to go against everything she wants dissolves quickly, and I fight myself to do the right thing by Lawson. I write the note, I break his heart all over again, open that fresh wound. If I don’t, we both suffer, and I lose some control from the situation.

  I don’t know if I can bear to live with myself if I were to break his heart – even if unwillingly.

  But I don’t know if I’d survive hearing he’d died, and he never heard everything that lives in me.

  “Now … the plan is this,” she starts, clapping her hands together. “You’re going to stay here, Tony will be with you, and I’m going to go back to Lawson,” she pauses, sighing heavenly. “I had two ways of spinning this as you know.” She dares to look me in the eye, the Ashley I knew and threatened to diminish. “I was going to say Langdon Smith took you and let Lawson and his pack of merry men have their way with him.” She unclasps her hand, using them to be animated as she speaks. “But then I had an idea … I could make Langdon an ally and let him kill Lawson and all his men and the trend continues … he gets the contract for killing my last master. I move on. Job done.”