Sweet Venom (Crazy in Love #1)

by Kirsty-Anne Still

  “You can say what you like,” I state, stopping her. “But the problem with people like you, Eden, is when something bad happens, you grow a heart. You don't think you do, but you do. All that emotion comes straight from your chest, and you love being able to feel something ... anything ... that takes away from the emptiness that threatens it all.” I don’t move, she may have intimidated me by edging forward, but I won’t do the same. “I’m not a charity case you can just fix.”

  “I didn’t say you were,” Eden states, trying to play this gently. “You didn’t have to be the bad guy here. You could’ve found somethin’ worth stoppin’ for. You could’ve let someone love you.”

  I ponder for a moment, wondering if I could be the good guy in this, but it’s not in me.

  And the cynicism of it all cuts me like a knife.

  “So, you’d have pulled me in,” I say, pointing the gun at Lawson as my attention switches momentarily. “Only to have watched you run off with her anyway?” I ask, watching him. “I mean, it’s sweet and everything, but how much of a punch in the gut would that have been?” I can feel my nerves fraying, burning and disintegrating, so I decide to act. “And I don’t really care for love stories,” I say, moving the gun and pulling the trigger at the same time. “Yours, mine or anyone’s.”

  Eden stumbles, looking down at the burst of crimson marking her chest, as she starts to fall.

  “Eden!” Lawson bellows, already leaping to catch her.

  “I wouldn’t if I were you,” I object, aiming the gun onto Lawson. “I lost one bullet. I have a chamber full of others.” I don’t even shake as I look at the man at the end of the barrel. “It didn’t have to be like this, Lawson.”

  “You’re right, it didn’t,” he remarks, agreeing quickly. “I should’ve stuck to my own game. The one where I made sure you were off limits.” He doesn’t withhold his indignation over the fact. “So, let’s end this,” he dares, unwilling to take his eyes off me. “Shoot me,” he dares me, his eyes void of anything but the rage he feels for me. “I dare you.”

  “No,” I say, but only because that isn’t my plan.

  He doesn’t listen and decides to test me, stepping closer and closer until the gun is pushing against the middle of his chest. His eyes look upon me with such defamation I can feel my nerve starting to crack.

  “That was your plan anyway, wasn’t it?” he asks, his voice too cool to be a man who’s watched the love of his life get shot. “Well … the combination to my safe is twenty-four, zero, six. Take whatever the hell you fuckin’ want.”

  He’s playing a mad man.

  “You can take all of my money, Ashley.” He pushes harder against the gun. “You can take everythin’ away from me.” He pushes a little harder. “But you touch the girl I love, and you’re askin’ for a death warrant.” His eyes start to become emblazoned. “The difference between Eden and me is I don’t require a flower to put the fear of Christ up anyone.”

  He reacts, one hand grabs the gun, pointing it away from his body, the other comes to grip around my throat. He keeps me at arm’s lengths, pushing me backward until I’m flush against the SUV, his hand only tightening.

  “Law-” I struggle, dropping the gun to put both hands around his wrist. “-Son.”

  “What?” he asks, jeering at me. “Not fun when someone gets the upper hand, is it?” he comments, leering closer than ever. “Maybe when you see Langdon Smith you’ll tell him from me I have a vat of acid with his name on it.”

  I dig my nails in as he uncovers the truth that he knows about my plan. I want him off, I want to breathe, but he’s not as forgiving as I first thought. I watch the danger illuminate in his eyes, and I flare my nostrils in a bid to stay strong. I always knew I had never seen the real Lawson, only seen slivers and shades, but now, I was witnessing him in the glory of what The Firm had made of him.

  This was the man of royal blood, of killer instinct, and of a love story to end all love stories.

  And it wasn’t ours.

  “You’re fucking pathetic,” he condemns me, enjoying watching me struggle.

  I go with my last resort. I leave one hand trying to pry him off, while I reach into my back pocket the best I can. Feeling what I need, I pull it free, memorizing what I need to, I bring the Taser around and connect with his side. Instantly, he lets me go and falls away from me, hitting the floor.

  I bend over, heaving on ragged breaths as I try to retain a little more evenness. I cough a few times, spluttering against the bruising of my throat.

  Lawson groans, rolling over.

  “You think you’re some hotshot,” I say, laughing dryly. “Get up, Lawson. We’re going for a drive.” I keep the Taser pointed at him while I reach for my gun. “First to get my money. Secondly, to allow Langdon Smith to have an easier target on your back.” I aim the gun again, keeping both on him. “Because believe me, by the end of tonight, you and Eden will be dead.”

  Lawson doesn’t react as quickly as I like, slowly getting up, but in no eager speed to do as I say.

  “I don’t mind using bullets on her and this on you again,” I threaten, confident in the monster I’ve become.

  “You leave her alone,” he grinds out between gritted teeth. “You’ve got what you wanted.”

  “Fine,” I say, exasperated.

  I have no vow to uphold, and I know I won’t.

  He starts to walk, and I follow. One hand holds my Taser; the other holds my gun. I know that once we’re free of this warehouse and in a car, I can make any call I want to any man and then simply get rid of the issues I now see in Eden and Lawson.

  “I don’t think so, bitch!”

  I turn around, instantly realizing it’s the worst decision I could make as Eden swings for me. It’s not as forceful as I think she’d like, but it’s enough to stun me, forcing me to stumble.

  “Asshole!” I swear, cupping my face, feeling the splinters in my cheek.

  I’m not preoccupied with the cuts to my cheek that I don’t see her coming at me again, making it difficult for me to dodge the next swing. This time it smashes into my chin, forcing my head upwards. I feel the skin split that time.

  “I used to think you were quite pretty,” Eden mocks, bouncing on her feet, watching me recover. “I think I just made you prettier.”

  I look at her, taking in the disheveled exterior of this blond. I can tell her adrenaline has taken away her pain, ignoring the blood seeping onto her jacket. Her pupils are dilated, her eyes wide to fit them. She’s crazed, and I wonder if that has something to do with endorphins and shock. Her body might be craving Vicodin, but it’s getting a fresh high from adrenaline.

  “I will put another bullet in you!” I roar, not fearing the wrath of whatever Eden can inflict. “Don’t fucking tempt me!”

  Eden laughs but drops the wooden plank.

  “You’re well aware of what I’m capable of, Eden.” My tone is close to taut, barely away from making it through clenched teeth. “I might not have got to show everyone what I could do outside of this shit hole, but I got to show you just what I can do.”

  “So, you took a few pills away from me … and used a vase to get one up,” she says, ridiculing me with a blasé attitude. “Bear with me while I wait to pull out the celebration.” She steps closer, while fragile she’s fierce. “You know, if those are your best moves, I’m really fucking pleased Lawson didn’t have a chance to be embarrassed by them,” she derides my abilities. “He wouldn’t have gotten to rule New Orleans with you.”

  “I should just fucking end you now,” I say, lifting my gun again. I watch her cower instantly, and it makes me a little more trigger happy.

  “You won’t touch her again,” Lawson says, a protective growl firing his words.

  He steps in front of Eden in time for her energy to wane. Saying nothing, I watch her behind as she weakens, using the SUV to support herself.

  “Now, Lawson,” I say, looking back at Lawson. He’s no longer the man I slept with; he’s not e
ven close to the man that threatened my entire game. “I either repeat what happened to Liam on Eden … or you come with me quietly.”

  I watch him look at her, unlike I’ve seen any man look at a woman, and I realize that what these two have is more than a twisted fate. It’s a forever love.

  I shoot the tire of the SUV, making Eden jump and Lawson realize just how serious I am.

  “You’ve both had your fun,” I grouse, unimpressed with how this is falling apart. “Now, it’s my time.”

  Lawson looks defiant in standing guard dog, but that isn’t part of the arrangement.

  “Go,” Eden says, giving in as she slides down the vehicle, hand clutching her shoulder, covering the bullet wound she’s fought to be strong through.

  Lawson falls into a battle between loyalty and war.

  “Go,” she utters again, but her focus shifts quickly to me. “You kill him … and mark my words, Ashley, there won’t be a fucking corner on this earth for you to hide in.”

  This girl cowered to me not so long ago. Without Lawson, she was weak and powerless. With him, she’s formidable.

  I laugh, shaking my head. “Even beaten and bruised your tongue could get you in a lot of trouble.”

  “I don’t care,” she states, her eyes never losing their conviction. “You had your fun with him already … you so much as hurt him, I swear to God I will make sure you wonder why you every dared lookin’ at New Orleans.”

  I can’t deny her strength is admirable, but it does nothing to help her cause. After all, the shards of my heart are bitter, piercing their way through my body. However, that said, I do respect her tenacity and willing to threaten my life when hers could fall over the balance.

  “Your choice, Matthews,” I say, offering no inflection in my voice anymore. “Maybe I won’t have to kill you.”

  “Your promises mean nothin’,” he says, all love completely lost. “But I want you to promise she leaves here unscathed.”

  I shrug. “Depends on how quickly help gets here.” I snigger, looking at the pair. “She’s got quite the list to survive … drug withdrawal, a beating and a gunshot wound.” I can see that’s riled him a little, rattled the cage on his aggression and I continue with my sardonic tone. “Now, there’s a car out the back. We’re not going out the front entrance.” He nods, uncaringly. “There’s a hole in the wall of one of the other rooms to this shit hole.”

  “I know where you mean,” he tells me, clenching his teeth. “Let’s get this over with.”

  I watch him take one last look, Eden pushing him to go, before he unwillingly takes that first step. I go to lead the way, but he doesn’t allow me to. Instead, he leaves me standing as he marches from the room, unable to look at Eden anymore. I know it’ll break him, but he’s doing this at her request, not mine.

  I follow, bitter at how this is turning out and I hate how my every plan is no longer mine.

  “I really wish it hadn’t had to be this way.”

  My sincerity isn’t palpable, but half-heartedly I mean it.

  “We all wish that at one point in our lives,” he responds, but doesn’t look back.

  But I do – right at the reason behind his comment.

  Eden.

  I have pondered my death multiple times in my life.

  Some would argue for good reason. Others would claim it to be a part of my life.

  I was born and bred around death, tainted by it from a young age, but I came of age and fell in love, and with it, I fell out of morbid curiosity and the alliance I had to The Firm.

  Instead, I yearned for something new with Lawson Matthews.

  We were royal bloods, but we were tainted for the choices we made. That said, we made them together, and we stuck by them.

  Until the first night, I thought about my own death.

  I remember reaching out to my father, our fingertips barely touching, but he fought to cling onto me. Until life slipped from him in one final breath and his fingers slipped from mine. I did die in that instance. I become numb to my pain, forgetting about my own future as I stared into the lifeless blue eyes of a man I adored. He was the only one who forgave me for running off and playing Queen to Lawson. He never condemned us for what we did, and it was because he understood.

  With one breath he was here. With another, he was gone.

  Just like I could be.

  Lawson may have been pushed to go with Ashley, but I knew that wasn’t what he wanted. In the moments of watching Ashley spiral, I felt like no time had come between Lawson and me. There were no scars, no flashes of grief and regret. We were just us.

  I knew he had to go with her. It’s why I forced him to go, giving him the permission to leave me here. I had already caused him a whole worlds worth of pain; I was not prepared to get him killed because he decided to trust the way our hearts beat in unison.

  If there were a morning to this darkness, I would show him how my heart still skipped that beat when he was near me.

  If I live to see another day, I’ll kiss him with every abundance of love I never lost.

  But first, I had to survive the slow death teasing to rip me from this world.

  Laying on the cold ground, the February breeze whipping around me, exacerbated in the emptiness of this warehouse, I wonder what we will kill me first – my burning addiction, the burning gunshot wound, or the burning ache of my heart finally falling apart.

  Neither would be any less painful.

  I can hear voices, but I can’t pick out if they’re allies or enemies, so I remain against the floor, allowing life to ebb from me, the coldness settling into my bones, my breathing slowing as consciousness starts to escape me.

  My eyes stay trained on the door, watching hopelessly for any sign of Lawson coming back. When I catch sight of movement in the distance, I strain my eyes to see, but everything is blurred beyond recognition.

  Someone gets closer, and I barely react. I just continue to blink, unwilling to put up a fight against anything anymore. I grunt as my body is forced up and pressure is applied to my chest. I try to fight, unwilling to let anyone touch me now they are.

  “None of that,” a voice sounds from my side, barely catching my attention. “Hey, Sweet Girl,” Leo announces, forcing me to look at him. He uses a long lost nickname, forcing me into a vulnerable state of comfort. “Where’s Lawson?”

  I roll my head, letting it lull to the side. I try to move, but he holds me in place. I pant a few times, trying in vain to fight against my breathless.

  “No, don’t move,” he tells me.

  “He’s gone,” I finally say, meeting Leo’s eyes. “He went with her.” I slow my breathing, hoping it’ll help. “Why are you here?” How did you know?”

  “That doesn’t matter right now,” he tells me, his tone even and calm. “What matters is we look after you and find my son.”

  I watch him, seeing the worry consume his eyes and I find myself falling for the comfort it brings. I let it lure me in, fall into the solace a man like Leo used to bring to me.

  “I never wanted any of this to happen, Leo,” I say, braving the moment. I used to admire Leo. He was the greatest man in my life next to my father and Lawson. “None of it.”

  “I know,” he tells me, reaching up to push my hair out of my face. “I didn’t either.”

  “This was never the end game,” I admit, taking a deep breath, gulping against the dryness in my throat. All, at once, I want to cave. Give into every ounce of emotion I both ran with and hid from in the last few months. “Leo,” I say, looking into his graying blues. “This was never meant to happen.”

  “I know,” he says, compassion hits every letter and I can’t make sense of his sudden change. “I was wrong for what I did here the other day.”

  “He’ll never forgive you,” I tell him, a tear slipping out. After all, I’ll never forgive him.

  “I didn’t mean about Liam,” he disputes, his eyes looking away as shame shrouds him. “I had no right to show Lawson what happened to
you. You had every right to do that when you were ready.”

  “I begged you,” I respond, a low moan of a sob rips through me. “I begged you not to do it, Leo. You promised to look after me after my dad died. You went back on your word.”

  “I had every reason to do so,” he says, defiant in that response.

  “Then name one,” I reply, narrowing my gaze the best I can. “Name one good reason I deserved what you got your men to do. You weren’t the man I grew up with. You weren’t even close to him that day. Why did I deserve that embarrassment?”

  “I had my reasons,” he tells me, dropping his gaze away from mine. “Your father’s death still haunts me, Eden. It’s somethin’ I’ll never heal from. Possibly because I felt I could’ve done more to prevent, anythin’ happenin’ to you and him.” Leo tears him open in front of me, and I struggle to focus, unable to believe him wholeheartedly like I wish I could. He looks back up at me. “While I hated what you and my son did, I forgave it … just like your father had.”

  “You have a strange way of showin’ it,” I admonish, rolling my eyes as I look over at the door, catching sight of Leo’s men.

  “I know,” Leo replies, dragging me back into the conversation. “But I had my reasons. Ashley was not the girl I wanted him with even before I learned more about her. Then there were rumors you were coming home, and then you did. I thought that if I made him realize the truth behind your disappearance then maybe he would forgive and forget.”

  “It doesn’t work like that,” I tell Leo, moving my arm so my hand can grab onto his forearm. “I would never have made him choose me when I saw potential in her.” I sag a little against his hold, finally beaten. “What a fuckin’ fool she played us for.”

  “You knew somethin’ wasn’t right, Eden, that’s why you stuck around,” he tells me, forcing me to engage in polite conversation. “Even when Lawson became volatile. You could’ve run, let him have his way with the city and with her, but you knew somethin’ wasn’t as it seemed.”