Livia looked up at him, a little bit of her normal brightness and energy now back in her gaze. “Lead me to it,” she said. “I’m a woman on a mission.”
* * *
A mission? Yeah, right. More like she was trying to get through this afternoon without completely losing her cool and not getting stung by a bee and making a fool of herself. That was her mission. Liv got off the bike and tried her best to steady her legs and keep her knees from shaking as she took off her helmet and looked up at Clayton. How she let her aunt get her into the situation she’d never know. But here she was, out in the middle of the woods all alone with her childhood crush, playing nicey-nice about seeing the man’s beehives.
Liv looked up at Clayton nonetheless and smiled, saying some nonsensical words as she got her legs together and followed him along the uneven terrain toward his little shack in the woods. For the first time, the danger and the absurdity of it hit her, and Liv looked at Clayton’s back with unease. Nah, she was just being overly skeptical. There was no way Aunt Joyce would send her out here with Clayton if she didn’t have full trust in him. Besides, after that ride and leaning against his ridiculously muscular back while holding on to that firm waist and feeling his rock-hard abs, it wasn’t Clayton that she should be worried about, it was her own out-of-control hormones. That was what she needed to get in check.
In that moment, Liv faltered and tripped slightly on a rock, once again her innate grace shining through as she bumped into Clayton’s back. Thankfully this time her hands stopping her before her whole body crushed into his. He turned around quickly.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his eyes full of concern. “You better watch it here, like I said, the terrain is a bit rough. Nobody really comes out here but me, so the path is not that well worn.”
He took her hand, quite matter-of-factly, as he continued to lead her through the forest on the way to his cabin. But even with his casual demeanor, Liv couldn’t help but feel a tingle radiate from her hand, up her arm, and straight to her heart. Nope. No way, she told herself, she wouldn’t let herself feel this. She couldn’t let herself feel this. On instinct, she tried to pull her hand from his grasp, but he only tightened his grip and looked at her, his eyes soft and still somehow stern. “You’d better let me lead you, at least until we’re on more solid ground. If you get hurt on your way out here, I’ll never hear the end of it from your aunt. And believe you me, I don’t want to have to feel the wrath of Miss Joyce.”
Liv let out a low growl as she gave Clayton a halfhearted nod. He was right, nobody wanted to feel the wrath of Aunt Joyce. She continued to follow along, trying not to focus on the out-of-control sensations of her mind, heart, and body, but instead take in the quiet beauty of the forest, the cool breeze as they got deeper into the trees and the sun shone through only in dappled light and secret spaces. It really was beautiful out here. So very peaceful if only one would stop to take it in.
Finally, they reached a clearing. “We’re here,” Clayton said. “I know it’s been a long time, but has it changed all that much to you?” he asked, his voice full of expectation. Liv didn’t quite understand how he wanted her to answer.
She looked around, taking in the small fishing cabin. It was pretty much just a little shack not wider than two people with their hands spread apart. It was set a few yards back from the lake in a little alcove, not all that far off, but far enough from the Morris’s main house to be a bit of a trek and afford privacy.
The familiarity of it hit Liv as she was noticing the changes that had been made since she’d seen it last. It was still the same sturdy log cabin build, but Clayton had gone and done some improvements, giving the window trimmings a fresh coat of deep green paint. He’d even accented it with a softer moss green, giving the shack a sweet, welcoming quality that it didn’t have before. Liv couldn’t help but wonder if that touch had something to do with his wife or with his being a dad. Either way, it added a nice appeal to the old structure.
Looking to the right, she could see the remains of the old canoe in which they used to spend so many lazy hours on the lake fishing. It was leaning on a tree, flipped on its side, clearly rotted out, pieces of moss growing over it, and vegetation poking through it, now becoming one with the landscape. Not far from it was a much newer vessel, and Liv could just make out the name HOPE ETERNAL painted by hand. The vision of it made her smile. She turned her gaze to Clayton. “It’s beautiful. Just as I remembered. But I can see you made quite a few improvements. I mean the paint job and, is that an outdoor shower you put on the side of the house? Wow, you got it pretty fancy out here, Clayton.”
He laughed and seemed to have a look of relief as she watched him visibly exhale. “Yeah, I did make a few improvements, but the shower was only because my mother put her foot down and refused to have me tracking fish guts back in her house.” She noticed how nervous he seemed. As if he was really waiting, no somehow hoping, for a favorable reaction from her. Why did it matter what she thought? She’d been nothing to him. So much nothing that he’d walked away from her without a word. Liv let out a frustrated breath. “So where are these hives my aunt can’t stop going on about? Might as well take me to the stars of the show.”
“Hold on a minute there, we can’t go just so fast. You don’t want to go running up into a swarm of bees, now, do you?”
Liv’s brows pulled together with the thought of running into a swarm of bees. He did have a point. “No, you’re right about that. So what do I need to do to prepare? I don’t suppose bug spray will do it in this case?”
Clayton chuckled. “No, you’re right, this is not a spray type of situation, and I wouldn’t like spray around my bees anyway. Bees go into attack mode only when they feel threatened, so we don’t want to make them feel threatened or get them agitated. And in order to do that, I’m going to need you to stay calm, keep things easy, and for the most part just don’t worry. I’ve got a suit for you to put on over your clothes as well as a mask so you’ll be fully protected when I go to show you the hives, and despite what you may think, the bees are pretty well contained. I just have to untap and start the flow for the honey to get going for your aunt, and then we only have to wait. Easy-peasy.”
Liv raised a brow at him and tried her best to squelch the unease that was starting to creep up her back. “Okay, if you say so. Let’s get to it.”
She followed Clayton down toward the shack, and along the way he pointed toward three hives that were set out a couple of yards toward the left of the cabin. “Those are the hives over there. I don’t put them too close to the house. As you see, I changed out the ones my dad had for more modern ones that I found on the Internet. You’ll see the changes once we get you outfitted and closer. Really the suit is more of a precaution for your comfort because, like I said, everything is mostly enclosed.”
Liv just nodded and followed him over to the shack, her mind less on the hives now and more on the old fishing shack and memories of a lost time. As they got to the doorway, Clayton suddenly stopped. When he looked at Liv his eyes softened. “Um, if you want you can wait right here and I’ll bring the suit out to you. You don’t have to come inside.”
Liv was pulled up short, suddenly stunned by his caution over letting her enter. Was he haunted by the same ghosts she was? Having the same stirrings? Feeling the remnants of the same old memories. She let out a long breath as the urge to face her feelings head-on gripped at her. She then barked out a laugh that came out probably much harsher than she meant it to. “No, it’s fine, I really want to see how the old place looks.” She looked up at Clayton with a bit of a challenge in her eyes. “You don’t have a problem with that, do you?”
He looked down at her and shook his head. “No, no problem at all. Come on in. Make yourself at home.”
Pushing down on her trepidation, Liv stepped into the small dwelling that she hadn’t set foot in in over twelve years, letting her eyes adjust to the dimness. She inhaled, taking in the masculine smell of pine as it mingled with th
e hint of disinfectant and evergreen of the cottage. As her eyes adjusted, the memories came flooding back to her—how she’d first seen the little one-room dwelling. Not much had changed. The makeshift kitchen area was still to the left with the old sink and side slab work area and tiny window with the checkered curtains. Circling around she could see that Clayton still had his dad’s fishing reel display stocked with at least ten poles ready and waiting to cast out at any moment on the lake and bring in the day’s catch. Toward the back there was a small curtained-off area that functioned as a little bathroom, and she couldn’t help but wonder if it had been modernized or if it was still nothing more than a glorified outhouse, just a seat and a small door that opened to the back of the house, convenient for easy disposal. She remembered being horrified when Clayton proudly showed her when they were kids how it actually worked and how they would do the dumping of the refuse out in the woods. But she was avoiding the biggest elephant in the room, which really wasn’t so big at all. There it was, the little twin bed on which she’d given her heart, her body, and her soul to him. That felt like a lifetime ago. The same bed where he’d made her the promise of forever. Where he’d asked her to be with him, love him, to be his as he in turn promised to be hers. And like a fool she believed him, to return the following summer expecting to find him waiting there as he said he would be, but only to find an empty shack and hollow promises.
It was a clearing of Clayton’s throat that brought Liv back to the present, and she was relieved to find that she hadn’t embarrassed herself fully by shedding the tears that were burning the backs of her eyes. “Here you go,” he said. “Slip this on over your clothes, and I promise you’ll be fine.”
Clayton was standing in front of her holding a white hazmat-type suit. She half expected him not to even be standing there, since the last time she’d been down at that little cabin she was there all alone, just herself, her sorrow, and her tears trying to make sense of why he would’ve gone away and not left any word for her. But instead of asking him why he did what he did, Liv just reached her hand out and took the suit from him, putting it on without a word.
She stepped outside and was happy to feel the sunlight on her face once again. It was almost suffocating inside the cottage, and she could admit to herself that it wasn’t just the small size, but the overwhelming memories. Liv swallowed, then sucked in a deep breath.
“Are you okay?” Clayton asked.
“I’m fine. Come on, let’s do this. You said it might take a while, so let’s get started.”
“Okay, okay, I just wanted to make sure you were up for it. You seemed . . .” He paused, and she could tell he was reaching for his words. She could also tell he was hoping not to insult her. She decided to throw him a lifeline.
“I said I’m fine, let’s get moving.” Liv was about to walk when for the first time she noticed that he hadn’t put on a suit himself. “Wait a minute, what about you? Where is your suit? Don’t tell me I get the only one.”
He shook his head. “No, I have another, but I’m fine. I don’t need a suit. Like I said, the hives are mostly contained. There are barely any bees buzzing outside the hives. Everything should be fine.”
Liv shot him a glare. “It’s the should part of that sentence that I don’t like. If you’ve got another suit, just do me a favor and put it on to make me feel better?”
He gave her a long look for a moment, and she could tell the second he decided to acquiesce and not argue. He nodded and moved to go inside the shack. “I’ll just be a second.”
While he was gone Liv took a seat on a little bench on the front porch and looked out on the lake. She rubbed one hand inside the other for a moment, remembering how it used to feel when his hand clasped hers, that excitement that she got from just that small gesture. It had been so long since Liv had felt that way, and she wondered if she’d ever feel that way again.
“Okay, I’m ready. Let’s do this, Livia.”
She looked up at him smiling down at her with that easygoing smile of his, saying her name as if he’d been saying it for the past ten years. She gave him a halfhearted grin and a nod as she got up and let him put the protective mask over face, and the world went a little bit fuzzy, taking on a strange, soft diffused hue. Once again, Liv let out a much-needed breath and followed Clayton Morris toward the unknown.
Liv was trying hard to concentrate and watch what Clayton was doing. It was fascinating really, but she had to admit she was completely distracted being in the situation that she was in. She told herself to focus on his words, focus on the task at hand. Come on, get it together, girl. There will be bees around you, for goodness’ sake, she said to herself as she watched Clayton expertly explain to her the ingenious way he was extracting the honey from the cool, new hives he had gotten.
“If you look to the side over here—” Liv watched as Clayton opened a window on the hive and showed what looked to be hundreds, maybe thousands, of bees congregating around a comb, doing the work, and she could see the sweet orange nectar emanating from them into the comb.
Part of her was a little squeamish and a little horrified, but the other part was fascinated by the ingenuity of it all. “In the center and down toward the bottom is the queen, and everyone congregates around her where she’s laying her eggs. It’s really amazing how, out of this one little box, I can get so much honey.” He closed a little window once again and looked at her proudly. Then he went toward the front of the box and opened up another little window.
“And if you see here, all I have to do is just open this section and we’ve got all the cells where the honey collects. Look here. There are three empty cells from where I collected honey over the past month, but these two are already just about full. So I use this little key to open the flow and put in this shoot right above the jar, and all we have to do is sit and wait while the jars fill.”
Liv was stunned when he turned a long metal key and suddenly, from the little tap, slowly but surely, rich golden honey started to flow from the hive and down into the mason jar below. It was slow and steady, but still the jar started to fill. “That is truly amazing. I can’t believe it.” She shook her head. “I was expecting the old boxes that your father used to have, and those rectangular cards that you’d have to pick out heavy with bees eager to swarm us. This is nothing like that.”
Clayton shook his head. “No, it really isn’t. Not that there’s anything wrong with that method. And that method has worked for so many years. This is just something new and quite inventive, though it is a bit controversial. I just find it works for my lifestyle, and it’s a lot less intrusive. And it’s a way that it’s even got Hope interested in nature without being overly put out by it.”
“Well, that’s great. You’d want to get her involved and interested in something like this. I tell you, when I was a young girl there was no way you’d get me around any sort of bugs. To have her involved in nature and biology, I think it’s wonderful.” Liv caught his wistful smile and wondered what he was thinking, if he was worried about Hope and her sneaking out the other night. “She really is a great girl,” Liv added.
“Yeah, I think she is too.” Clayton looked at Liv, his eyes full of concern. “But I will admit, I do worry about her. I want to thank you again for leading her home the other night.”
Liv shook her head. And noticed a couple of bees buzzing right in front of her face. She scrunched up her nose and recoiled on instinct.
Clayton smiled at her calmly. “It’s fine. Remember, you have protection.” He looked down at the jar and took out a small piece of cheesecloth from his side pocket and went to cover the top of the jar. “This is to protect the honey so the bees don’t fly inside and get at it before we can.” He expertly sealed the top with a rubber band. “Looking at the way this is flowing, it may take a little while. It usually takes about an hour or so. If you want, we can head back to the shack, sit out on the porch, and grab something cool to drink. I may have something in the icebox.”
Liv fe
lt trepidation creep up her spine again as she looked at the slow-moving honey easing its way into the Mason jar; she knew she had no choice. She was out here for the long haul. She looked back up at Clayton with a nod. “It will be nice. Besides, it’s running slow and it’s hot. That dock seems sturdy and shady. Why don’t we sit and cool off a bit?”
Chapter 17
Clayton handed Livia the soda with what he hoped was a steady hand and took a seat next to her on the edge of the fishing dock. She’d rolled up the hem of her jeans, and her feet were swaying lazily back and forth, skimming the top of the water. Her pretty toes were painted a bright pinkish color, peeking out of the top of the water playfully each time her foot arced up. Clayton felt as if he could stare at those toes forever and just be happy sitting right there with her next to him, saying nothing. The sun started to set, giving the world a soft, mellow golden filter that made everything seem almost like a dream.
But it wasn’t a dream. Clayton knew he had a lot to explain. As he rolled up his own pant legs and dipped his feet in the water about a foot away from hers, he remembered how, when they were kids, he’d teasingly kick over and splash her, causing her to squeal in feigned annoyance. He knew he couldn’t do that now. Now, he didn’t know how any of his overtures would be accepted. Cripes, she barely would tolerate him sitting next to her. If not at the urging of her aunt there was no way she would even be out here. He gazed at her, still so beautiful, probably even more so, her profile regal, and even though she seemed to blend perfectly with the untamed beauty of the lake in the forest, some part of her always stood out. Like she was better than it. Better than the simple life it held. Better than him and the life he could give her.
As Good as the First Time Page 21
