The Vampire Gift 4: Darkness Rising

by E. M. Knight

  I’m still partially—mostly?—human. That means I am still mortal. It means I can still die.

  Once I cross the fold, however, and join that realm of these dark and hideous creatures… death will offer no relief.

  How do I reconcile my absolute loathing for the beasts with the internal instincts, present in all living things, for the preservation of one’s life?

  How do I commit to an eternity of being something I cannot stand?

  Am I damning myself? There’s a fork in the road before me. Both choices lead to a similar place:

  Death.

  If I become a vampire, it’s the death of my soul. The death of all my morals, my standards, my values—the death of my ego, the death of what makes me me.

  But if I refuse… if I take my own life now, while I still have the chance… I’ll face total oblivion. Cassandra will be no more.

  And if I do that—if I take the coward’s way out—who will take revenge for what these creatures did to my son? Who will right the wrongs that have been done to me?

  No one. But I would not face an eternity of suffering that way, either.

  In every conceivable way, turning into a vampire is the most horrible punishment for me. It’s an awful fate that I would be forsaking myself to.

  Raul gave me a second lease on life. When he saved me from the gang of guards, when I drank his blood in the woods and was pulled back from the abyss of death, I made a vow. A vow not to take this life for granted, a vow to help all those that I could, and a vow to get retribution, if at all possible, against the horrid creatures who murdered my family.

  Yet, at that point, I had no idea that I would be looking eternal life in the face. Eternal life, as one of the loathsome beasts whom I so hate.

  Who says that fate does not have a harsh sense of humor?

  I walk over to the bathroom, which is clean. I eye the shower rod and hanging curtain. How easy would it be for me to tie a little noose, using any of the fabrics available in the closets, and hop off the edge of the tub?

  Could I do it? Could I really kill myself?

  I shudder and turn away. It wouldn’t be so much death as mercy. I’d be saved from having to join the vampire ranks. Saved from an eternity of self-loathing and suffering.

  But I would be throwing a great gift away.

  Speaking to April, learning about her… made me realize some of the flaws of my perspective. I haven’t come to grips with them—not at all—and I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to accept them, but intellectually, on a level, they do make sense.

  Eternal life. Eternal youth. An explosion, an advancement, of the senses. Super-human strength. Immunity from all disease and sickness. Additional physical grace. Augmented bodily beauty…

  Yet all those ”benefits” appeal to the vain.

  I lost interest in such things, such self-centered pursuits, the moment my son was born.

  And after he was taken from me, their appeal became almost laughable. For so long, I toiled under a dark cloud of depression and regret…

  Yet that’s not the only approach to things, is it? I could do good things with my extended time on the earth. I could still help others. I could become a champion of the humans.

  Their dark, vampiric guardian angel.

  The thought is so ridiculous it makes me laugh. If that isn’t an illusion of self-grandeur, I don’t know what is.

  The real question is, of course… how much becoming a vampire changes you.

  I’m sure I’m not the first to consider these things. The one thing I have to remember is that all of the creatures inhabiting The Haven were also once human. And even though in my stark prejudice I want to attribute evil to them all, I know—always logically—that at the start, some of them must have been good.

  Or maybe I’m deluding myself. The type of human to whom becoming a vampire appeals cannot be anything but self-centered…

  Yet how many of The Haven’s vampires were given a choice? How many were forced into it, like I?

  I wonder…

  Every minute that drags by brings me closer and closer to the point of no return.

  I look at the shower rod again.

  Do I dare do it? Do I dare take my own life and save myself from an eternity of true damnation?

  Or do I muster up the courage to face whatever comes and believe in myself enough to hope I’ll be able to stave off some of the worst?

  I cannot make the decision in my current state. My emotions are all jumbled. I have to be completely clear-minded when I make the choice.

  Although, when again will I get the chance? I’m alone now. I am unwatched. The Queen wouldn’t let me die, I know she would not. She has some sort of plan for me, that I am sure of.

  Somebody like her does not simply make the “mistake” of speaking freely before a human.

  No, she wanted me to hear every word. She wanted me to become bound to her and her sons.

  Why, though? I haven’t the slightest idea. Yet that curiosity… it sparks something inside of me.

  Something… rich, and interesting, and intriguing. Something that could give my vampiric life meaning.

  Maybe this is what fate always had in mind for me. Maybe all the trials I’ve suffered, all the wrongs that I’ve endured, maybe all of it culminates in this one point.

  Do I really want to take the coward’s way out?

  ...No. No. I do not. I want to stand and fight for what I believe in. If my purpose has been lost, I will regain it.

  I’ll have limitless years to do so.

  And if I am doomed to suffer in my new state? So be it. But I won’t shirk away.

  April was right. Vampirism is a gift. But it means different things for different people. If I can hold on to my hatred for the unnatural beasts, and channel it within myself, when I become one of them, to drive me to do what is right…

  Well, maybe that will give me the bit of redemption I’ve been seeking my whole life.

  I turn away from the bathroom door. I will not be hanging myself today. And if such hallmark thoughts of depression dare creep up again, I will cut them off at the knees.

  After all, when I become a vampire… I will have the claws to do so.

  ***

  Another hour passes, and I can no longer sit still. If I’m to be cooped up in here, there has to be a purpose.

  I see none.

  I go to the front door. I fully expect it to be locked. Phillip did so from the other side when he left.

  But it was Carter who last took April out.

  I try the handle, expecting nothing…

  It doesn’t give.

  Duh. Why would it? Nothing has changed.

  But then the door shifts, oh-so-slightly, and I realize with a jolt of surprise that it didn’t click closed all the way!

  Excitement takes me. I put both hands against it and push it outward…

  It opens to an empty hallway.

  There’s a single torch glowing in the distance. I look at the shadow it casts. Any number of vampires could be hidden there.

  But I don’t feel them. Maybe that’s a ridiculous assessment. Yet somehow, something tells me that were any vampires present and watching, I would know.

  It goes against everything that makes up the relationship between vampires and humans. They are deadly hunters, gifted with perfect and silent grace. If humans could feel them creeping up, it would negate the natural balance of things.

  Maybe it’s because I’m on my way to becoming less human.

  I glance back into Phillip’s room. He told me to stay there because it would be the safest place for me. And then, it seems, he forgot all about me!

  Besides, if he promised April the same thing…

  Well, I saw how that turned out. A part of me worries for the well-being of my new friend. Carter is the worst. I saw how he treated her. There was nothing but malice in his eyes when he came.

  “So no, Phillip, I don’t think I’m any safer in there than anywhere else,” I mutter
softly. I do another check of the halls and slip out.

  I follow the trail of torches. Where else would I go? I have no conception of the layout of this place.

  I sneak along, keeping low to the ground and near the side walls. My precaution is ludicrous. Vampires can see in the dark, they would spot me right away.

  Still, it feels better to move like this. It gives me a sense of safety, no matter how false that may be.

  The first thing I have to do, I tell myself, is get back to a place that’s familiar to me. I found Raul’s rooms before. They were located on a different layer, down, closer to where all of us humans were kept.

  So I have to find a set of stairs, or a slope and reach that portion of the stronghold.

  I keep moving, racking my brain and trying to remember the path Phillip took me on when he brought me up. But it’s nearly impossible to see, and all the brown, worn rocks that make up the walls look identical to me.

  I go on and on and on for what feels like ages. I don’t see a vampire anywhere. In fact, I feel completely alone.

  That frightens me.

  Alone, lost, and wandering these unknown caverns underground. Anxiety builds for my predicament. My stomach rumbles in hunger—a clear indication that I am still human.

  Where is everybody? If this is the part of the stronghold where The Elite make their dwelling, shouldn’t I have come across some by now?

  The only bit of assurance I have comes from the flickering torchlight. It means the place is not entirely abandoned.

  Even if it feels that way to me.

  A rush of wind sweeps by my face and blows my hair back. It’s so sudden and unexpected that I give a jump. It’s there, then it’s gone, just like that.

  Spooky.

  I steel myself and move on. There should be guards around, shouldn’t there?

  Then a new thought occurs to me. The last time all the vampires congregated in one space was when they banded together and fought The Convicted.

  What if there’s another battle going on now? What if that’s the reason everybody is gone?

  I shiver and pray it hasn’t come to that. I don’t know why The Convicted attacked, but my memories of the fight are all of blood and screams and pain.

  That gust of wind comes again.

  It comes from a side passage. I turn toward it. Maybe there’s an exit there. Maybe it will lead me outside.

  Right now, nothing would be more welcome than the feeling of cool air on my face.

  I hurry down the path. My soft slippers make very little sound on the ground.

  To my ears. I assume each step would be loud as a thunderclap to a vampire.

  The torchlight fades, but I keep going. The only direction now is forward. I fumble about in the dark, straining to see, but knowing it impossible. My steps are more careful now.

  At some point, I pick up the faint murmur of voices in the distance. My heart leaps. I’m not alone!

  I pick up speed, walking in the dark as fast as I dare. One hand trails against the uneven wall, while the other hovers out in front of me so I don’t bash my head against anything.

  The voices become louder. I realize there is a mass of them, coming from a large congregation. Some sort of gathering? A gathering of vampires.

  Once, that thought would have given my pause. Yet now I’ve committed to joining their ranks. Carter saw the signs of transformation in me. For that reason, I feel no fear approaching.

  But as I get closer, and the voices get clearer, I realize they’re harsh, abrasive, aggressive.

  My mind flashes uncomfortably back to the barnhouse fire, to the way Andrey and the other guards tossed me back and forth between them like a ragdoll.

  I’m stronger now, I remind myself firmly.

  I feel the draft of air blow steadily against my skin. The darkness seems to lessen. I start to see a little bit of my surroundings.

  But then, without warning, the ground drops. I miss my step. My foot slips out from under me.

  I fall and shriek as I slide down a precipitous slope.

  I hit the bottom. All sorts of rocks and gravel rain down after me. I cough, gingerly bringing a hand to my head.

  It hurts. My entire body feels battered from the fall. Dust fills my eyes. I rub at them, hating the awful sensation, then try to peer past it…

  I have somehow ended up right in the den of humans.

  But they’re not alone.

  Far ahead, out in front of me, is the makeshift camp site that they’ve erected. Small fires glow amongst the canopies and bundles of cloth making beds.

  The camp site is abandoned, because all the humans, to the last one, are in a tight cluster, surrounded by a ring of hostile vampires.

  What the hell is going on?

  I scramble to my feet, but I’m not fast enough. My graceless entrance attracted attention. A vampire approaches at my side and quickly grabs my arm.

  “How did you get away?” he hisses, clearly displeased with finding me there. “We told you what would happen to any stragglers—”

  He cuts off with a grunt and yanks me after him. All I can do is follow.

  I’m thrown into the midst of humans. All of their faces are familiar to me. So few of us remain, so few, after the battle…

  But then again, I’m no longer part of the group, am I?

  “What’s happening?” I ask the woman nearest me. The murmur of voices I’d heard comes from the congregation. I see fear in the eyes of every single person. The children, I notice, are together in the center of the mass. Almost like they’re being protected, the way we were during the fight.

  But then I look out at the row of placid, yet hostile faces—the faces of the Incolam and the Elite—and a deep-rooted realization takes hold of me.

  “They’re talking about another Hunt!” the woman gasps.

  My fear becomes palpable. It threatens to overwhelm me—

  But then I remember who I am. Or, rather, what I’m about to become.

  I take a step out of the mass of humans and toward the vampire ring.

  “Get back!” the one closest to me snaps. “Filthy human, need I remind you of your place?”

  I ignore him and walk forward.

  “This one’s just asking for it, isn’t she?” he snickers to the vampire beside him. “You volunteer yourself, is that it? Though by the look of your skinny body, you don’t have much blood to give at all. Yet, I’m sure I can find for other ways of deriving pleasure from your flesh.”

  He opens his arms to me. I feel a strange tugging at my subconscious. Whereas before, I was walking forward to make a protest, now, I want to go to him.

  “Yes, yes, there you go,” he says. “Come to me. I don’t care what the Elite say, if you’re this willing I’d be a fool to turn you down.”

  My feet move of their own accord. The aches and pains from the fall are barely noticeable anymore. And it’s been just minutes! No way I should have recovered that fast…

  “Tudor, wait,” the vampire standing closest to the one with his arms open says. He lays a hand on Tudor’s shoulder. “She’s one of us.”

  The vampire I’m approaching blinks. He looks off-balance for a moment. And then he drops his arms and scowls. “You’re right.”

  He flies to me and pulls me out of the circle so fast my head spins.

  On the outside, he throws me to the ground. “Who are you?” he demands. “How were you made? My, but you’re just a fledgling, aren’t you?”

  He glowers at me as I push myself up. I push the hair out of my eyes and glare back at him, defiant.

  “You’re not of The Haven,” he observes. “How did you manage to remain undetected for so long? You came with the Wyvern coven didn’t you? And you stayed behind...”

  He grabs me by the arm and heaves me up again. None of the other vampires are paying us any mind. Even the one who’d alerted Tudor of my nature has only taken a single glance back and then returned his attention to the humans.

  “No, I’m no
t from the Wyvern coven, whatever that is,” I say. “I was born here. I grew up here. Your kind—you vampires—killed my family.”

  “You were… a villager?” Amusement paints his features. “What an astonishingly simple lie. You don’t think we would see through that?”

  He yanks me closer to him and snarls in my face. “I know you were left behind to spy,” he says. “When I deliver you to the Royal Court, you’ll be made an example of. The things the Queen did...”

  He trails off. He starts to march away, leaving me behind. For a second I’m confused.

  But then I feel the command pulse through me: Come.

  I follow him without knowing why. Without even willing myself to!

  We walk into the darkness.

  But my eyes see through it now. Not in full, but more than before. I see another, smaller group of shapes in the distance.

  Immediately, I feel the power emanating from them. The Elite.

  Tudor stops a respectable distance away. I find myself doing the same next to him.

  “It’d almost be genius if it wasn’t so stupid,” he confides. I take him to be one who loves to hear himself talk. “Leaving a fledgling behind, telling her to hide with the humans. My, but how badly you must have wanted to feed! With so much succulent blood around, it’s a wonder you could restrain yourself.”

  He looks at me thoughtfully. “No, it’s not that, is it? You haven’t felt the bloodlust yet. Your transformation isn’t complete. But this is perfect!”

  One of the vampires in the other group looks our way. He beckons us forward with a hand.

  “Time to face the reaper.” Tudor chuckles, prodding me between the shoulder blades.

  I walk forward stiffly, knowing I have nothing to fear… but feeling a tingle of fright, anyway.

  “Tudor,” the Elite vampire acknowledges. “Why have you broken rank? The Incolam are supposed to keep the humans in line.”

  He licks his lips before answering. “I found her in their midst,” he says, bowing his head slightly. “She was hiding with the villagers. She claims to be one of us, but I never saw her before. She was only recently made—” he tugs at my hair, and I gasp, “—as you can tell. I don’t believe she’s fed yet.”