Beyond the Wide Wall: Humorous Fantasy (Epic Fallacy Book 2)

by Michael James Ploof

  “I don’t know,” said Murland. “I just don’t know. We’re going to need some time.”

  “I understand.”

  Murland and Caressa left as well, and Sir Eldrick let out a pent-up sigh before turning to the bartender.

  “What’ll it be?” said the man, looking impatient.

  “Beer, whiskey, and a glass of wine,” said Sir Eldrick. And he settled onto a well-worn stool.

  Chapter 38

  A Hard Confession

  Valkimir and the others led Brannon, Murland, Gibrig, and Willow to their quarters in a hotel across town. No one spoke among the city’s patrons, but waited for the privacy of the four walls. They were all shocked, all but Brannon, who glanced back the way they had come, worrying and wondering of Sir Eldrick’s fate.

  “I can’t believe that you came for me,” Murland was saying to the princess.

  She laughed. “Of course I came for you, you’re my best friend.”

  Murland offered her a half-hearted smile, and Brannon knew that he had wanted to hear something else. The princess seemed to sense it to, but this wasn’t the place or time for such a conversation.

  “Lad,” said Hagus, putting a hand on Gibrig’s shoulder. “I be the proudest pap a dwarf could have. Ye’ve done good.”

  “Thanks, Pap. But I had a lot o’ help from me friends.”

  “Aye, thank ye,” Hagus told Murland, Brannon, and Willow. “Thank ye for being a friend to me boy.”

  “He saved all our lives, he did,” said Willow.

  Hagus swelled with pride, and Gibrig blushed and waved them off. “Ye done saved me as well. Even Sir Eldrick…”

  “I still can’t believe that he was going to feed us to the dragon,” said Willow.

  “Maybe we shouldn’t be so hard on him,” said Brannon.

  They all gave him confused looks.

  “My love,” said Valkimir. “He pretended to be your friend all along. He sold you out to save his own hide.”

  “I thought that he really cared,” said Murland. “He sure had me fooled.”

  “Listen,” said Brannon, unable to take it anymore. “I’ve got to tell you all something.”

  They waited, and he took a deep, steadying breath before continuing. He thought to take it slow, to calmly explain what had happened, but when he spoke, his confession blurted out of him.

  “I knew about Kazimir’s deception as well. Sir Eldrick brought me into the mix a few days into the journey. You have to understand, I didn’t know any of you very well. We weren’t yet friends. Sir Eldrick said that I would be spared if I helped get you all to Bad Mountain. And Kazimir threatened us both, saying that if we didn’t go along with it, he would erase our memories of the deal and feed us to the dragon as well. Please, please forgive me. It tore me up inside the whole time, lying to you all like that. But in the end, Sir Eldrick and I really did decide to tell you the truth. That was the reason for bringing you out tonight.”

  Everyone stared at him, speechless, but he was focused on Valkimir, who was shaking his head.

  “I can’t believe this,” said Valkimir, visibly shaking the way he did when he was angry.

  “I knew something was going on with you two,” said Murland, looking quite angry as well. “Always sneaking off to speak privately, but I never imagined this, not in a million years.”

  “Ah, don’t be so hard on him,” said Gibrig.

  “This isn’t the time for your sensitivities, Gib,” Murland snapped. “They were going to feed us to Drak’Noir right up until today!”

  “I’m not so sorry anymore that I ate your horse,” Willow told Brannon, who hung his head low.

  “I know that you probably all hate me. And I don’t blame you. But the truth is that we both grew to love you, and it ate at us the entire time. I don’t think there was a moment when we intended on going through with it. You can go ahead and believe what you want. But you cannot deny that we had something, the five of us. The legend of the Champions of the Dragon might be a lie, but I think that we were champions, together.”

  Murland let out a sigh. “I don’t know what to think anymore.”

  Gibrig rushed across the room and hugged Brannon, sniffling. “I forgive ye, Brannon. And I forgive Sir Eldrick. I know that deep down, ye do love us, and we love ye.”

  “Thanks, Gib.”

  “I suppose I would have made the same deal early on,” Willow admitted.

  “Where do we go from here?” Murland asked them all.

  Everyone looked to Valkimir.

  He seemed to have more words for Brannon, but he calmed himself and set his jaw firmly. “For one, Kazimir will be after us now. And two, there is still a dragon to deal with. If she does not receive her offering, then she will wreak havoc across the land, and we cannot let that happen.”

  “Then it be like I suggested before,” said Hagus. “We go, all o’ us, to Bad Mountain, and we end this farce once and for all.”

  Silence filled the room as everyone considered their options.

  “Hells,” said Murland at length. “We had already planned on fighting Drak’Noir, and I am still prepared to do so.”

  Everyone nodded, all but Wendel, whom they had all seemed to have forgotten about.

  “I never signed up for this,” said the skeleton. “But what the hell, I’m already dead.”

  The group shared a much-needed laugh, but they sobered quickly.

  “Then it is decided,” said Valkimir.

  “We’ve got to find Sir Eldrick before he does something stupid,” said Murland. “He’s probably already into the spirits.”

  “Oh boy,” said Gibrig.

  “Oh boy is right,” said Willow with a chuckle. “That madman could end up anywhere.”

  “What do you mean?” Caressa asked.

  Murland told them all about Sir Eldrick’s condition.

  “Then we should go now and stop him before he disappears, or gods forbid, Kazimir gets ahold of him,” she said.

  Chapter 39

  Slur Sirsalot Strikes Again

  The companions, now numbering nine, returned to The Bountiful Booty and stopped in their tracks when they saw the destruction that had been wrought. People were scrambling to put out a fire raging at the back of the house, and others were pulling out beaten and bloody pirates to safety.

  “Oh boy,” said Gibrig, biting his thumbnail.

  Murland spotted Lyricon directing the guards and rushed over to him. “What happened?” he said breathlessly.

  Lyricon turned and offered them all a glare. “That maniac, Slur Sirsalot, went on a rampage! That’s what!”

  “I’m sorry. But do you know where he went?”

  “My guards are looking for him now. Last I heard he was headed for the lift. Probably already across the bridge, and good riddance.”

  “Sorry for all the trouble,” said Murland, turning to leave.

  Lyricon grabbed him by the arm with a strong tentacle. “Our deal still stands. You find that madman, and you tell him that the cost of damages is coming out of his cut of the profits of the tour.”

  “I will.”

  “Tour?” said Caressa as they all hurried for the lift.

  “It’s a long story,” he said, suddenly spotting an overturned wagon, which looked to have been hit by a bull. “There, we’re on the right track,” he said, pointing.

  “Oh boy,” said Gibrig.

  They found other signs of Sir Eldrick’s rampage in the city square: overturned display tables, broken wares, stringed lights pulled down and smashed on the ground, spilled fire pots, ripped and torn tapestries. It looked as though a tornado had ripped through the square.

  When they reached the lift, they found it busy, for the indicator above the housing showed that it was in the middle of its ascent back to the top.

  “I’ll take Packy and get a head start,” said Murland. “You guys meet me on the other side of the bridge.”

  “Be careful,” said Caressa, surprising him with a kiss on the
lips.

  His heart soared, and he tried to tell her to be careful as well, but all he could manage was a dopey grin. Packy suddenly took to the air, though to Murland it felt as though he were floating upon the clouds of love. He soared over the city, heading toward the edge, and despite the dire circumstances, he couldn’t help an ear-to-ear grin.

  “I think she really loves me,” he told Packy.

  The backpack gave a small coo.

  They soared over the ledge, swooping down toward the long bridge. Murland’s smile disappeared when he saw the twisted bridge. It appeared that the thick ropes holding the right side in place had been slashed, and he knew of only one sword that might be able to cause such damage. The two trolls were on the ground, unconscious, and similar damage had been done to the camps set up outside the city. The gnomes had gotten the worst of it, for their long worm had been killed, and at least one gnome lay dead. He searched the landscape, but saw no more signs of the drunken knight.

  Murland landed among a group of dark-skinned dwarves who were working to right their overturned wagon.

  “Excuse me, good dwarves, but have you seen a knight go through here?”

  “The maniac tore through here not ten minutes ago,” said a green-eyed elder with a beard that brushed the ground.

  “Which way did he go?”

  “That’a way,” said the dwarf, pointing a crooked finger toward the rocky bluff to the north.

  “Thanks!” said Murland, and he took to the air once more.

  Packy brought him up over the expanse of ocean-battered rock, and to Murland’s great relief, he saw the tell-tale glow of Sir Eldrick’s fae blade. Behind him, a group of angry-looking minotaurs were rushing to intercept.

  “Sir Eldrick!” he yelled over the wind. “Hurry Packy, there he is!”

  The backpack swooped down and brought Murland to land in the knight’s path. Sir Eldrick lurched to a stop and eyed Murland sideways. “What you want?” he slurred drunkenly.

  “Sir Eldrick. It’s alright. Everyone will forgive you. Brannon told us everything.”

  “Get out of here, kid,” said the knight. “I’m not any good for nobody.”

  “Don’t say that—Sir Eldrick, look out!” Murland cried, suddenly seeing the minotaurs cresting the last rock formation.

  Sir Eldrick whirled around, stumbled, and met the charge head on. Murland watched with worry, though he soon realized that his concern would be better placed with the fates of the bull-like creatures. Sir Eldrick grabbed two of them by the horns and threw them over the cliff. Another rushed the knight, and Sir Eldrick ripped a dead tree from the stone and smashed it over the creature’s head. Six of them fell upon Sir Eldrick, and one by one, they went flying.

  When it was over, Sir Eldrick stood over the unconscious minotaurs and gave a triumphant war cry. He stalked toward Murland, eyes unfocused and wide with unbridled rage.

  “Sir Eldrick, stop!” said Murland, pulling out his wand.

  Sir Eldrick continued.

  “I’ll stun you, I swear!”

  When the knight refused to stop, Murland hit him with a stunning spell that should have put him down, but Sir Eldrick seemed unfazed. He backhanded Murland, sending him spinning and knocking him unconscious.

  Murland awoke with a pounding head, and was surprised to see three minotaurs staring down at him.

  “What…what happened?” Murland asked, testing his sore forehead gingerly. His fingers came back with blood on them. He must have hit his head, he thought.

  “You try stop crazy knight. We try too. We all fail. But he gone now,” said one of the creatures, offering a hand.

  Murland rose on shaky feet, wondering how long he had been out. “Are you guys alright? Did he kill any of you?”

  “No one killed. Just shaken up.”

  “Thank the gods,” said Murland. “I’m sorry.”

  “Why you sorry?”

  “Uh, never mind. I’ve got to go. I’m glad you are all okay.”

  Murland rushed back toward the bridge and checked Packy’s wings for damage. To his relief, nothing looked broken.

  “Can you fly?”

  Packy cooed.

  He shouldered the pack and leapt off a stone.

  Five minutes later, he landed on the beach beside the bridge. The companions had gathered there, and were now waiting for him.

  “Murland! Did you find him?” Brannon asked.

  “What happened to your forehead?” Caressa asked, quickly pulling out a cloth to wipe the blood away.

  “I found him, but I couldn’t stop him,” said Murland, hissing when Caressa wiped too hard.

  “Sorry,” she said.

  “Then he is gone,” said Valkimir, looking north.

  “No,” said Brannon. “We’ve got to find him.”

  “The last time this happened, he ended up in Faeland,” said Willow. With arms spread wide she added, “He could be anywhere.”

  “I’ll find a spell that can track him. Does anyone have anything of his?” Murland asked.

  “His stuff is with ours, back at Lyricon’s place,” said Gibrig.

  “Right,” said Murland, realizing that he must have knocked his head harder than he thought.

  “Brannon and I will go back and get everyone’s things,” said Valkimir. “We should make camp here for the night, until we figure out what our next move is.”

  “Poor Sir Eldrick,” said Gibrig. “Out there all alone, thinkin’ he ain’t got no friends.”

  “We’ll find him,” said Murland. “We’re the Champions of the Dragon, after all. And champions don’t fail.”

  He looked to the northern cliffs, wondering how far the knight might have gotten in his condition. Despite his brave words, Murland was worried for his friend.

  To be continued in Book 3

  The Legend of Drak’ Noir

  Thanks for reading. I hope that you enjoyed the book. I would love to hear what you thought of it, good or bad, so feel free to leave a review.