Burning Up

by Susan Andersen

  He lowered his hands and turned his head to look at her, realizing that he felt better, that sharing with her had somehow lessened the weight he’d been carrying. “I’m not sure I could take restful right now. That’d just give me too much time to brood.” He glanced at the hall where music had begun drifting out. “Sounds like the band’s started up,” he said, climbing off the table. He held out his hand to her, something tugging deep and low when she promptly took it. “Let’s go get a drink and wait for a slow dance. I need to hold you in my arms.”

  LOOPING HER ARMS loosely around Gabriel’s neck a short while later, Macy rested her head against the hard swell of his chest and imagined she could hear his heart beat beneath her ear as they swayed to the music. She liked the selections the band had been playing since she and Gabe had come inside. Unlike the usual mix played at dances, this group interspersed a decent number of slow tunes between the faster numbers.

  It didn’t hurt, either, that she could feel Gabe relaxing more with each dance.

  He continued holding her against him for an instant after the song ended. Then his arms slowly slid away until all that touched her was one large hand riding the small of her back. He used it to usher her back to their table, which was rapidly clearing as the band launched into a fast song.

  “You never really told me how your night went before I got here,” he said, leaning close to speak under the music after they took their seats.

  “Yes, I did. I said it was going well.”

  “Scarily well, I think were your exact words. But what does that mean?”

  “That for the most part I’ve been having fun.” She made a face. “I know that doesn’t sound like me—”

  “Are you kidding? It sounds just like you.”

  She grinned at him. “The You-me, maybe, but not Sugarville Outcast–me. But that’s the thing, Gabe—I’ve had a big ol’ revelation. I’ve finally figured out once and for all that high school sucked for most of us and only a select few ever held true enmity toward me.” She hitched a shoulder. “They still do, but I think the majority of the kids I went to school with were just too busy protecting their own shaky social statuses at the time to risk getting involved with mine. Tonight I’ve connected with a lot of people from an adult perspective, though. It’s been pretty sweet.”

  He reached out and brushed a strand of hair away from her lip. “I’m glad.”

  Over her head a masculine voice drawled, “Long time, no see, Donovan. Hey, Macy.”

  She tipped her head back to see Johnny standing behind her. “Hey, you made it.” Rolling her eyes, she stretched out a foot to push back a chair for him across the table. “Which I guess is sort of evident by the fact that you’re standing there.”

  He laughed and went around to take the seat she offered.

  When people flooded back to their table a few songs later, the three of them were pulled into the conversations that sprung up around them. Janna related a funny story she’d heard. Mike Bodendorf told one that poked fun at himself and pretty soon everyone in their immediate vicinity was laughing their heads off.

  In the midst of someone’s anecdote, the music abruptly ended. Macy glanced over to see Liz on the stage.

  “If I can have everyone’s attention,” the other woman said, “we’ve got a few awards to hand out.”

  Turning to Janna, Macy smiled crookedly. “I’m guessing you and I won’t be getting one.”

  “The first one goes to the person who’s traveled the farthest to attend,” Liz said. “Ordinarily that would be Jason Patterson, who went away to college in Providence, Rhode Island, and never came back, or to Heather Scopes in Denver. But neither of them could make it. So the award this year goes to Macy O’James.”

  A surprising amount of applause broke out, but Macy’s blood chilled. “This can’t be good,” she murmured. “Liz looks too pleased with herself.”

  “Come up on stage, Macy,” the mayor’s wife called out.

  She looked at her cousin as she rose to her feet. “If they pour a bucket of blood on my head and my telekinetic powers fail me, I’m counting on you to take Liz down.”

  “I’ll make it my mission. And not just her, either. I’ll take down her whole freaking clique.”

  “If you start slamming doors and starting fires with your mind I’ll call in my truck,” Gabe added. “If not—” he shrugged “—I’ll join Janna’s mission.”

  “And I’ll turn a blind eye.” Johnny looked at her defenders. “Long as you don’t do it in front of my boss.”

  Head held high, Macy strode up to the stage. No matter what, she was holding on to her newfound optimism regarding her classmates. And, God willing, to her sense of humor.

  But her heart beat a ragged rhythm and her stomach felt as if it were tied in a bow as she climbed the stairs at the end of the stage and crossed to Liz.

  Who flashed a big smile and said under her breath, “You were warned to stay away,” then gave her a hug.

  Macy hugged her back. “Bite me.”

  The other woman pulled away and handed her a certificate, raising her voice to say, “Congratulations, Macy. Thank you for traveling the farthest to be at our reunion.” She cut a glance to the audience as if expecting something.

  “Well, actually, I didn’t.” Macy had a lot more experience projecting her own voice and damned if she planned to play the chump waiting to take a pie in the face. “I traveled to see my family.” She grinned out at her former schoolmates. “The reunion is just a bonus. So the thanks go to all of you who told me I had to attend.”

  “Who was that?” demanded a female voice in the crowd. “All the guys you slept with?”

  “Seriously?” she demanded. For God’s sake, was she going to be laid out in her freaking grave with this damn rep still chained around her neck? Searching for the speaker, she saw it was—oh, here’s a shock—one of Liz’s stooges.

  To her surprise she heard some protests on her behalf, but it was Gabe shooting to his feet and demanding, “Are you serious?” in an echo of her own sentiments that had Macy’s eyes rounding. She stared at him as he faced the woman who’d leveled the accusation, his long hands planted on his hips. But his words were directed at everyone.

  “What is it with this town that you won’t let the reputation of a seventeen-year-old girl die the death it should have done years ago?”

  “Maybe,” said the same Mr. Two-faced who had earlier told her how much he enjoyed her videos, “it’s because Macy is so good at being bad.”

  “How would you know, Ledger?” she demanded, breaking her own rule of don’t complain, don’t explain for the first time. “As I recall, I cut you off at the knees when you tried to get me into the back of your daddy’s car.”

  “You know what I’d like?” Gabe said, quiet anger steaming off his big frame. “I’d like a show of hands. Let’s hear it from everyone who’s never made a mistake in their life, who has never been misunderstood, found themselves on the outside looking in or wished for a do-over.” Crossing his arms over his chest, he scanned the crowd with a let’s-hear-it level gaze.

  No hands went up, but a few people unconnected with Liz’s group promptly grumbled about the incident at Buzzard Canyon. “Forget her sexuality,” one woman said clearly, meeting first Gabe’s, then Macy’s eyes. “I don’t give a rat’s ass who Macy did or didn’t sleep with. She still ruined a lot of good boys’ lives.”

  “That’s it!” Janna climbed to her feet to stand next to Gabriel. “No,” she said to the woman who’d spoken. “She didn’t. I did.”

  “Dammit, Janna,” Macy moaned as the entire room went silent. For a second she was frozen in place, thrust back into the confusion of that night: the dark woods, the scent of alcohol on Janna’s breath, her cousin’s fury with her boyfriend and the heat of the two of them arguing in the idling car over Janna’s refusal to relinquish her place in the driver’s seat.

  Of that car rolling forward as Janna lost control and the sickening thump as it struck th
ree boys they hadn’t even known were drunkenly crossing their path.

  Of reaching across her cousin to turn on the lights, then the two of them tumbling out of the car to see what the hell had happened.

  Then someone snorted and broke the spell. “Yeah, right,” Phil McMurphy said. “Sure you did.”

  Macy headed for the stage stairs as her cousin whirled on the speaker.

  “Read my lips, McMurphy.” Janna marched with only the slightest of limps right up to her detractor. “I was the one behind the wheel—the one with my foot on the brake when I should have had the car in Park. And I’ve regretted ever since that I didn’t fight harder to accept the blame.” She gave his chest a poke. “Not that one damn kid there ever bothered to ask who was driving. They just looked at Macy standing next to me and said, ‘What the hell, O’James? What have you done?’”

  The man looked momentarily stunned by her unusual in-your-face aggression. “I don’t remember you insisting we were wrong,” he muttered.

  “I do.”

  To Macy’s surprise it was one of Liz’s friends who spoke up. The woman joined Janna and McMurphy.

  “I remember you saying over and over again that it wasn’t Macy’s fault,” she said slowly. “Even after she copped to it, you kept insisting. I just figured you were trying to save your cousin.” She looked at Macy as she strode up. “But why? Why did you take the blame for something you hadn’t done?”

  She shrugged. Part of her wanted to continue insisting she had done it, but one look at Janna’s determined expression said there was no going back. “Janna was planning a life here. I intended to blow this town the minute the ink on my diploma dried.”

  “But that wasn’t for another eight months. You must’ve known the time in between was going to be hell.”

  “And that was gonna differ how from the spring and summer preceding it? I’d already ended up with one rep I hadn’t earned. So what was a little extra baggage piled on top? ’Cause like you said, no one would’ve believed me if I’d claimed I wasn’t responsible anyhow.”

  She blew out a breath. “It was an accident. There was way too much beer, boys stumbling around half-hammered in the dark and Janny half-hammered behind the wheel, just like most of the kids who got back on the highway that night. It was a recipe for disaster even before her foot slipped off the brake.” She met the eyes of several people who had been there. “It could have happened to any of us.”

  A woman she’d talked to earlier in the evening nodded. “No one used their headlights in the Buzzard, and I damn near got run down by Corrie Morris’s pickup one night. And Jacob here—” she jerked her thumb at the man next to her “—nearly got me on another.” She raised her chin. “You’re right. It was an accident and we—” She looked around. “We owe you an apology, Macy.”

  There was silence, but then heads began to bob in concurrence and other voices chimed in to agree.

  Gabe muscled his way through the crowd that had gathered, and stood shoulder to shoulder with Macy. His unspoken support allowed her to relax her rigid backbone.

  “Well, it’s about time,” he said easily. “Now, what do you say we get this reunion back in gear?” When nobody moved, he nodded to the band and they launched into a rendition of Nickleback’s “I Wanna Be A Rock Star.” Little by little, the crowd broke up to either hit the dance floor or gather in clusters to hash over the night’s unexpected entertainment.

  Macy grabbed Janna’s wrist and headed for the exit. “We’ll be back,” she shot over her shoulder to Gabriel and Johnny, who stood watching them. A moment later they pushed through the front door.

  Avoiding the smokers over in the picnic area, they made their way to the far side of the parking lot. Macy rested her hip against a car hood and studied her cousin. “Are you okay?”

  Janna nodded. “I am. This is a load I’ve been hauling forever and it feels good to finally have it off my shoulders. Man.” She exhaled gustily. “I should have insisted we tell the truth years ago.”

  Macy hitched a shoulder. “You tried. And I’m sorry if I added to your burden by insisting we let it be.”

  “Don’t you go blaming yourself!” Janna said fiercely. “You went above and beyond for me. So, how about you? It must feel pretty good to finally have the truth known.”

  She thought about it. Then smiled. “It does. I feel…lighter, somehow.” A laugh bubbled up from her belly. “Who knew?” Still, she sobered slightly as she looked at her cousin. “I think you should prepare yourself for when word of this makes the rounds. Not everyone is going to forgive you, you know.”

  Janna nodded. “It wouldn’t be right if they did. You tried to stop me that night, but I was so damn righteous in my anger—and I can’t even recall now what Sean and I were fighting about. Something stupid, no doubt. But because of my stubbornness, I wrecked three boys’ lives. I don’t deserve a free pass. You know, I’ve often wondered if me getting hit wasn’t payback.”

  “No!”

  “I’m not so sure. I kind of believe in karma, and by hurting three people and failing to own it, maybe I opened up the universe to get run down in return by someone else who would run from the truth of what they’d done like I did.”

  Macy’s energy abruptly deserted her. “I’m played out. You about ready to go home?”

  “No. I can’t just make an announcement like that and then run away.”

  “All right.” She gathered her strength. “We’ll stick around.”

  Her cousin shook her head. “You can’t fight my fights for me anymore, Mace. Besides, didn’t you have a big night planned before you and Gabe got derailed? Which appears you got back on track, by the way. So head out. Leave me your car and I’ll get myself home.” A sly smile crossed her face. “That’ll be a real hardship, having to drive your ’Vet.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. This is something I have to do on my own. But I could use a moment or two by myself first. I have to figure out how I’m going to break the news to Mom and Dad and Ty.”

  “Okay then.” Leaning in, she pecked a kiss on Janna’s lips. “Remember what your mama always says. Keep your chins up.” Janna laughed.

  Turning away, Macy headed back to the hall to collect her date, her thoughts immediately sliding to the conversation she’d promised herself she would have with Gabe. It was time to fess up to her feelings for him.

  She tried to shake off her nerves. Hell, it wasn’t as if he was going to laugh in her face or anything. Even ignoring his wonderfully eloquent defense of her tonight, he was simply too decent to do anything like that.

  But maybe he’d have done the same for anyone.

  I need to hold you, his voice whispered in her mind.

  She hadn’t imagined he’d said that. And there were the corsages he must have driven into Wenatchee to purchase and the fact that he’d bought one for Janna, as well.

  Maybe, just maybe, he felt the smallest fraction of the love that was burning her up inside.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  “DON’T GO.”

  Gabe watched Macy whirl to face him in his living room. In her heels, she was almost six feet of hot-wired woman, and for a second he could only stare. At her sunlight-through-whiskey hair swinging with her movement, at her bright eyes flashing green-and-gold fire, at that amazing body in the little underwear dress.

  God, she was something. She’d been pumped ever since leaving the grange hall, smiling and laughing and talking a mile a minute. She hadn’t admitted it aloud, but he was pretty sure she had some kind of euphoria-buzz going now that the truth about the accident in Buzzard Canyon was out. He was in awe of the way she’d managed to keep that to herself all these years, to accept and accept and accept the blame for something she hadn’t done, never once alluding to the fact that she was being misjudged. But despite her shrug-it-off don’t-give-a-damn attitude, the sudden acceptance after more than a decade of being the town pariah had to feel pretty damn good.

  She came at him now like
a heat-seeking missile locked on target, her long strides eating up the distance separating them. From a few feet away she leaped, and he barely had time to brace himself before she body-slammed him, her arms encircling his neck at the same time as she wrapped strong legs around his waist. The movement had the hem of her short little dress slithering upward to expose the white satin crotch of her panties.

  She leaned back to grin at him. “Don’t go where, big boy?”

  His hands gripping her butt, he held her in place. Too much was riding on her answer to fool around and he met her gaze with dead seriousness. “Don’t go back to California.”

  Her smile faltered, her thighs going lax on his hips and slipping downward over his. “Seriously?” Her voice emerged from her throat in little more than a breathless whisper.

  He pulled his hands from beneath her hem and helped her regain her feet, then smoothed down the rumpled fabric of her dress. Because he simply couldn’t make himself set her loose, he slid his hands to the small of her back and held her to him. “Seriously.”

  Her lips were parted as she stared up at him, and he pressed his mouth to hers in a kiss that attempted to convey everything he felt for her.

  The instant he raised his head again, he said, “Stay here in Sugarville with me. Pick out all my paint colors. Share my house.” Share my life.

  When she continued to simply stare at him, he found himself getting nervous. This had to be the longest he’d ever heard her be quiet. Jesus, his heart was beating like a maniac’s! He was in decent shape so it was unlikely he was having a heart attack, but he sure as hell was as serious as one. Because her answer was more than important to him; it was crucial to any hope of happiness his future might hold. And every second she didn’t respond, his odds of getting what he wanted grew poorer. Dammit, why wasn’t she talking?

  He drummed his fingertips on the upper swell of her ass. “So. What do you say?”

  She blinked, then grabbed a handful of his shirt, twisting it in her fist as she drilled him with the intensity of her gaze. “Let me get this straight. You want me to move in with you?”