Trusting Love Again

by Starla Kaye

  Her lips twitched as he blurted out his explanation. Poor man. If he got this distraught at his secretary going into labor, she couldn’t imagine what he’d be like if it was his own wife and child involved. The thought sobered her. She remembered the abortion, his ex-wife’s betrayal. She wasn’t the only with complicated emotional baggage.

  “Should you go see her at the hospital? I can handle everything here,” Toni offered, although her stomach tightened at the idea. Could she really do it? Yes, I can. “Trust me.”

  He hesitated and that made her slump her shoulders. He didn’t think she could take care of things. Well, why would he? Still, the idea hurt her pride.

  His hand settled gently on her arm and she flinched, but he kept his hand in place. “I don’t doubt you, Antoinette.”

  She raised an eyebrow at his use of her real name, yet she didn’t correct him. The way he said it in such a deep, soft tone made her stomach go all fluttery. But she wouldn’t tell him that.

  The corner of his mouth lifted and his color returned. “Not going to sass me about Antoinette?”

  “I’m cutting you some slack, just this once.” She glanced at where his hand still lay on her arm. After the initial shock of the action, she really didn’t mind the light touch.

  Unaware of her change in response, he released her and shifted uneasily. “Sorry. I know you don’t like to be touched.”

  She didn’t want to correct him, so she headed for Ellen’s desk. “I’ve already filled in for her a few times when she went to see the doctor. I’m sure I can do her job. At least for…”

  She stopped, faced him, and asked, “You do have a backup plan for while she’s out on maternity leave, right?”

  He sighed and scrubbed his hand through his hair, shaking his head. “I guess Dad and I were trying to pretend it wouldn’t actually happen.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Seriously? You’re two fairly intelligent people. I can’t believe you weren’t prepared for this moment.”

  His cell phone rang and he pulled it from his pocket, appearing relieved. In a matter of a minute, though, he looked disturbed before he hung up after saying, “I’ll be there as quickly as I can.”

  “Is something wrong with Ellen? With the baby?” Toni asked in a rush, tense, worried about her new friend.

  “That wasn’t Dad.” Chad moved toward the stairs to go up to his office, but changed his mind and turned back. His jaw was tight and a vein pulsed in his neck. “It was Crampton. He went out to check on Mrs. Harper, like he does regularly. She’d been beaten, slapped around.” He cursed under his breath. “Low life bastard.”

  She knew Mrs. Harper. The woman had to be in her eighties, maybe nineties. “What bastard? Who would do such a thing? Did someone break in and try to rob her?”

  Such fury flashed from Chad’s eyes that she took several steps away. But she didn’t fear him. She’d just never seen him so angry.

  “Her no good great-grandson. Crampton found him rifling through her jewelry box.” He cursed again. “The SOB has slapped her around before. She wouldn’t admit it the last time it happened. But I’m going to make sure he answers for what he did this time.”

  Her heart raced, memories swarming over her. Bruised, dazed, shattered emotionally, she’d had no one to help her after Stanley’s attack. She’d gotten herself to the emergency room to be checked out. The young doctor who’d looked at her had wanted to call the police, but she’d known that would have made it all worse. He’d wanted to call her family, a friend, anyone. She’d been too embarrassed and refused.

  She was shaking, lost in her pain, when Chad stepped in front of her. Before she could stop him, he thumbed away tears she hadn’t even known were streaming down her face. He looked so worried, and torn, too. He needed to go do whatever he could for the elderly woman. Yet she had a feeling he wouldn’t leave if he thought she required him to be with her. She did, but how could she live with herself if she didn’t make him go?

  She pulled herself together and stepped back, forcing a wobbly smile. “I’m okay. I just had a bad flashback. But I’m all right.”

  “I’ll call Crampton again, tell him…”

  “No! I’ll get myself under control,” she protested. “You should focus on Mrs. Harper. She’s lucky to have you wanting to help her. I didn’t…” She clamped down on admitting that she hadn’t had anyone when she needed assistance.

  He ground his teeth, anger snapping in his gaze. “You should have had people to rely on. Damn. What you went through…what Beaton did…” He blew out a breath. “I hate it, Toni. I really hate it.”

  “Antoinette,” she corrected, hoping to calm him down. What he said made her feel better.

  He blinked and some of his anger faded. “I don’t like leaving when you’re upset.” But he looked worried.

  The office phone rang and they both glanced at where it sat on Ellen’s desk. She took the call as a sign. “I’m fine, really. I have a moment every now and then, but I’m okay.”

  She walked with determination toward the desk. “Go. Do what you need to do and trust me to handle things here.”

  He hesitated, but when she picked up the receiver, he finally nodded. She waited for him to grab his coat from the hall tree, pull it on while sucking in a pain-filled breath from shoving his casted arm through the sleeve, and then walk out the door before she focused on the phone call. She prayed she could stand behind her word, that she could deal with calls from clients and whatever else would be necessary. But, truthfully, she was scared almost witless.

  After she’d survived the first call, she went to her office and snagged the vase of roses. She smiled as she quickly counted them. Another new one. Red this time, full and beautiful. It made her wonder what the florist thought about Chad buying a new one each day.

  Feeling good about the flowers, she carried the vase back to Ellen’s desk. Since she was in a better mood, confident, she’d give Caruthers a call. She’d been trying to get hold of him for several days now, but he never answered…and he never called her back. Today would hopefully be the day they connected.

  Chapter Six

  By five o’clock and Toni could finally close the office, she wanted nothing more than to go home and collapse. At least this was the last day of the workweek. It had been wild ever since Chad had left. The small town’s gossip vine had been active all day. Clients had called to find out what she’d heard about Ellen and her baby, but poor Ellen was still in labor. According to Ethan when he’d checked in with her, the younger woman was unfortunately one of those first time mothers who experienced long labors. But the doctor wasn’t worried. Her husband was a bit nuts with the situation, as was her large family, who had insisted on staying at the hospital. Ethan had decided to stay there as well and help keep everyone as calm as possible. He was a good man. Widowed years ago, back when Chad was eight.

  For the first time since she’d started work here, no one who called had made her uncomfortable. Some even knew what had taken Chad away from the office and his scheduled appointments. They’d acted concerned for the elderly woman and had no problem rescheduling their meetings with both Chad and Ethan. Basically, the day had gone far better than she’d thought it would.

  Except for her family. Her mother had called to check on her several times. Her father had stopped by to make sure she was all right. Ted, too, had called and dropped in. While their concern felt good, she hated that they must think she was incapable of dealing with a job on her own. That depressed her. She wasn’t looking forward to an evening being smothered by their good intentions; by their belief that she needed coddling.

  She pulled the front door closed, locked it, and stood on the porch for a second. The air had turned colder and a bitter breeze whipped around her. Almost March and snow was still a possibility and she could almost feel it. What she really wanted was to go to her own home - not her parents’ house - and curl up on a sofa with a glass of red wine and….

  No, there wouldn’t be any wine or
alcohol of any kind involved in relaxing anymore. Her life with Stanley had meant attending far too many parties where the only drinks were alcoholic, or spending evenings with his friends and doing wine tastings. She’d discovered that she was susceptible to the lure of getting a buzz on. When the social experiences were difficult for her, she’d found surviving them easier with more and more alcohol.

  The wind making her shiver, she squeezed her eyes shut as a still raw memory swept over her, one just over a year old. Although she had told Stanley she hadn’t been feeling well all day, he had insisted they attend a Valentine’s Day fundraiser ball. She’d been running a fever, but he just told her, “Tough it up. You’re going.”

  They’d been arguing more and more by then, at least when he bothered to come home. She hadn’t wanted to suffer another lecture on what was expected of her, so she went. Wine and heavily doused alcoholic punches were the only drinks available. He abandoned her from the moment they walked into the event. She wasn’t up to making conversation with the few women who bothered to stop by and talk to her. Before she knew it, she’d started drinking; punch, wine, more punch. Her inhibitions loosened.

  One of Stanley’s business friends found her and they started talking, flirting. She didn’t even really like the man all that much, but Stanley had been dancing with what seemed like every woman there…all but her. Suddenly she was getting dizzy, but happier. The man had touched the side of her face and smiled in temptation. And then she was kissing him.

  In that second, Stanley had finally looked at her from across the room. She’d given him a sassy wave and all but draped herself over the other man. Stanley had stridden through the crowd. He’d grabbed her by the arm, hard, even though his friend had frowned at that. Her husband hadn’t cared a bit what the other man thought. He’d dragged her from the party. He hadn’t even stopped to get her coat.

  The awful recollection made her tremble, feel his anger again. That had been another time he had physically abused her. The instant they entered their house he shook her so hard that she’d whimpered. He’d pushed her up the stairs to the bedroom and then he’d….

  Oh God. She forced that awful recollection away. Never, ever did she want to think again about what he’d done to her. What she’d allowed him to do, because it had been easier than fighting him. Why hadn’t she had the good sense to leave him the next day? Why had she still tried to save a marriage not worth saving?

  Heart pounding, she opened her eyes and drew in a deep breath like her therapist had taught her to do. “Take one day at a time. Put the bad memories aside. Start over. Make a new life. Don’t let him have control over your life ever again.”

  She was trying to do that. She’d gotten a divorce from the vile man. She’d moved back to the place she’d missed and was starting to make amends with her family. She had a job. Well, temporarily and only because she’d gotten in legal trouble. But she would get a real one as soon as she could. What she didn’t have was a home of her own, yet. As much as she loved her parents and appreciated them taking her in again, she needed her own home and privacy.

  The carriage house. She’d forgotten all about it, what with everything that had happened lately. It had been remodeled into an apartment. She’d paid a large down payment toward buying the property, all of it. Maybe the situation was a complicated mess at the moment, but Chad and his father were using the house for their office, for however long. She could certainly use the apartment for her temporary residence.

  It still annoyed her that she hadn’t been able to talk to Caruthers today, even though she’d left him message after message. Tomorrow. She’d talk to him tomorrow, or try to figure out another way to get in contact with him.

  With that in mind and feeling better in anticipation of the apartment, she hurried around back, pulling out the key she’d already been given. It was time to check out her new home.

  ***

  Chad sat across the desk from his friend in the Sheriff’s office, waiting for Alex to finish his phone call to the hospital, checking on Alberta Harper. It had been a long day for both of them. Dealing with her difficult situation had taken a toll on everyone involved. She’d been horrified at the idea of Alex arresting her great-grandson for assault and battery. She’d tried to stop it out of love for the “poor, misunderstood boy.” The “boy” was twenty-six and had always been into trouble of some kind. Chad had no use for him. He would do his best to see that he went away for a long time. This hadn’t been his first brush with the law.

  Alex looked exhausted from having to deal with Alberta, her great-grandson, his almost equally worthless father, and trying to explain the situation to Alberta’s seventy-year-old son, who suffered from Alzheimer’s disease. Plus, he’d had to transport her to the hospital in Topeka because she’d refused to go in an ambulance. Chad had gone with them. He’d tried to soothe her worries and used all of his persuasive skills to finally get her to agree to press charges.

  He was mentally worn out. His arm hurt. Even the healing scratch on his face stung. He wanted to go home and crash, let his mind shut down, and slip into blessed sleep. At least he’d learned that Ellen had finally delivered a son about an hour ago. Which meant he and his father had to face the problem they’d foolishly put off handling: finding her replacement for the two months that she planned to take off for maternity leave.

  Maybe Toni would…

  Toni! Damn, he’d barely checked in with her all day. He thought about the antagonism she’d faced from some of their loyal clients and groaned. He’d called and talked to each one he’d learned had given her grief, and he hoped they hadn’t made problems for her today. She wasn’t the teenager many of them recalled who had been in and out of basically innocent trouble in the past. She deserved a break.

  Alex hung up and heaved a weary sigh. “At least Alberta is calmer now, accepting that she needs to stay in the hospital for a few days.”

  “Alberta can’t continue living on her own,” Chad said, knowing there was a lot of work ahead for him in convincing her of that. “She’s nearly blind. Frail. She’s obviously unable to maintain her house any longer.” He rubbed his stubbled jaw in frustration. “I can’t believe no one else in town has seen how she lives, or at least tried to do something to help her.”

  He visualized what he and Alex had walked into. Her small house was on the outskirts of town, isolated, and looked almost normal from the street. Inside, though, there were piles of old newspapers, trash of all kinds, and a narrow pathway from room to room. A vacuum hadn’t touched the place in who knew how long. Unsanitary and unsafe. Sadly, he’d seen similar living situations many other times in the homes of some of the elderly people he’d worked with.

  “A problem for another day.” Alex stood and rubbed at his eyes. The day had been a strain on him as well. “I’m done in. It’s time I went home and let my deputy take over.”

  Chad got to his feet, studying his old friend. Alex had been quieter than normal today, withdrawn. He’d done his job, but something was bothering him. Now that he thought about it, he’d noticed a change in Alex lately. He’d just been too caught up in his own drama filled life to think about it. But something told him this wasn’t the time to bring the matter up, either. Soon, though.

  “I totally agree. My bed is calling me, too,” he said instead. “Except I need to go lock up the office. I can’t believe I hadn’t thought to give Toni a key earlier.” Or did she have one? Had the realtor given her keys and they just hadn’t ever discussed the matter?

  Alex met his gaze, concern in his expression. “She’s calmed down? Not still behaving like a…well, wild woman?”

  Chad stiffened his shoulders, feeling familiar irritation. “She had a bad moment. I wish everyone -including you - would stop focusing on that.”

  “Be careful, my friend,” Alex said, looking even more worried. “From what Ted told me, she’s got some serious emotional baggage. I know you had strong feelings for her in the past, but…”

  “In t
he past, like you said. All I feel now is concern,” he cut off the warning. He didn’t want to think about his complicated feelings for her. Or the innocent kiss they’d shared. Or the way he basically obsessed every day about buying her a new rose because he wanted to make her happy.

  One of Alex’s reddish eyebrows lifted in doubt. “Just saying, is all.”

  With a curt nod, Chad turned to leave. He didn’t want to get into any kind of argument with Alex. “I only want to help her get on with her life. Nothing more.”

  He wondered who he was trying to convince; himself or his friend. Sure, he felt sorry for her. She needed people at her back now, and helping wounded souls was what he did. That’s all it was. Toni’s psyche had been badly bruised. But he already had a full plate of elderly clients needing his assistance. He couldn’t take on another problem. Yet he knew that’s exactly what he was going to do, whether she wanted his help or not.

  Again, he thought about that simple kiss, holding her in comfort. Both things he wanted to do again, as wrong as they were.

  ***

  Toni fell in love with the apartment the second she walked inside and flipped on the pair of switches beside the door. A ceiling fan hummed lightly and the attached light illuminated what she could see of the small space. Most of the area was open concept, with the living room and kitchen together. She assumed a bathroom and one bedroom were through the doorway across the main area. The whole place had less square footage than the master suite she’d had in Denver. What made it feel perfect to her were the furnishings, pure casual. Not designer elegant. Not more for looks than comfort like the furniture in the Denver house.

  She couldn’t resist kicking off her heels and walking barefoot across the wooden floor to the thick, deep rose colored area rug. It had seen better days, but was far from worn out. She made her way to sink down onto the over-stuffed, pink floral sofa and sighed in pure pleasure. It, too, wasn’t new by any means, but still in good shape, and cushioned a body just right. A pair of rose colored, stuffed and worn chairs sat one on each side of the sofa. A round, white distressed table was in the center of the tight space, with a light coating of dust. She could picture a few of her favorite magazines and a partially read book or two on it. And she could envision stretching out here to pick up one of those books to lose herself in the story. Reading had long been her escape from the reality of her marriage.