And You Call Yourself A Christian (Still Divas Series Book One) (Urban Books 1)

by E. N. Joy

  Once upon a time, Lorain’s heart would have dropped for good reasons had Unique been standing outside her door. She had welcomed Unique’s visits as a chance for the two of them to bond as mother and daughter, something Lorain never imagined she’d be able to do. But God had made it all possible. God had made so much possible. Those little girls upstairs were proof of that. She was getting to be the mother she never got to be with Unique. But one black cloud still remained over her otherwise sunny picnic. That black cloud was the fact that Unique was the biological mother of Heaven and Victoria. She was a cloud that could open up and rain down on their picnic any day. Was today the day?

  Lorain didn’t want to find out. She didn’t want to open that door. A part of her wanted to tiptoe back to her bedroom and pretend as though she’d slept right through the ringing of the doorbell. It was believable. She could say she’d had a long night up with the girls and was exhausted. After all, her little stunt of pretending not to hear Unique’s shouts out to her in church last Sunday had worked. Pretending not to have heard her phone ringing after looking down at the caller ID all week had worked. Pretending not to have gotten Unique’s messages all week, therefore, not calling her back had worked. Pretending not to hear the doorbell could work equally as well. Lorain knew, though, that if Unique rang that bell one more time, the twins would more than likely wake up and start fussing. With double the noise of the average toddler being woken up out of their sleep, Unique would hear them and know something was up.

  “Oh, I hate to admit it,” Lorain said to herself, “but maybe Korica is right. Maybe it’s fine time I stop running scared.” And on that note, she decided to open up the door.

  “I’m sorry if I woke you,” Unique apologized after Lorain opened up the door. “I know it’s early. I’ve been meaning to talk to you. I tried to catch up with you last Sunday at church. I’ve called you a few times and left a couple of messages.” There could have been a question mark at the end of Unique’s statement, because the look on her face was asking Lorain whether she’d gotten her messages or not. Unique assumed she hadn’t since she hadn’t returned not one of them.

  “Oh yeah, I, uh, have been meaning to call you back. I’ve just been so busy this week packing to move into the new house. Nick is still packing things up at his old apartment. The twins had a doctor’s appointment this week, and on top of all that, we’re trying to plan a reception. It’s just—”

  “Yeah, I know. You don’t have to tell me. I’ve been packing up my stuff at my sister’s to move into my new place too.”

  “Oh yeah, that’s right. You got approved for one of those apartments you filled out an application for a while back.”

  “Yeah, through the grace of God. They didn’t do a credit check or anything.”

  Lorain paused for a minute. “So, uh, how many bedrooms did you end up getting?”

  “It’s a two-bedroom,” Unique answered.

  Lorain would have felt better had Unique said she’d gotten a one-bedroom. That way she’d know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Unique had no intentions of trying to move the girls in with her.

  “I’m turning one of the bedrooms into an office/spa-like boutique room. I’m going to schedule facials and consultations in the room. I have so many wonderful decorating ideas. When people walk into the room, I want them to forget all about the fact that they are in an apartment. I want them to feel like they’re in a little salon somewhere. You know what I mean?”

  “Yes, yes, I do,” Lorain smiled. She was glad to hear Unique’s plans for that second room, but still, as long as there was a second room, she still had options. “I’m so proud of you.” Lorain pulled Unique in for a hug. Realizing Unique was still standing outside, Lorain felt embarrassed. “Oh my, what am I thinking? Come on in here.”

  “Thanks,” Unique said as she entered Lorain’s condo.

  Lorain noticed Unique looking around.

  “Uh, I know it’s a bit of a mess right now, but like I said, I’m still packing.”

  “Oh no, you’re okay. I was just wondering where the girls were.”

  Why did Lorain want to tell her that the girls were over Eleanor’s? But she didn’t. “They’re asleep.”

  “Oh.” Unique appeared to be a little disappointed.

  “Is something wrong? You said you’ve been wanting to talk to me about something.” Lorain swallowed hard. “Does it have something to do with the girls?”

  Unique shook her head while looking at Lorain. “No.”

  Lorain exhaled.

  “It has everything to do with the girls,” Unique continued.

  Lorain had barely gotten a chance to breathe in again before Unique cut her breath off. It was time; the time was now. That dreaded talk she knew Unique would be wanting to have with her was finally here.

  “I know we had an agreement,” Unique started, “and I know that all a person has in this world is their word. The last thing I ever want to do is to go back on my word.” Unique paused and looked down at the floor.

  “Wha ... What is it?” Lorain asked, trying hard to keep her voice intact and her tear ducts dry.

  “I know we agreed that you’d raise the girls. We agreed that I’d still be able to get them and eventually they’d know who I really was to them.”

  “Uh-huh,” was all Lorain could get out. She knew that if she spoke, she’d break down.

  “Well, things have changed,” Unique said, now looking at Lorain again.

  Lorain cupped her hands as if she was about to pray and rested them on her lips. She closed her eyes, to not only keep the tears that were threatening to fall from actually doing so, but to brace herself for the words she knew Unique was about to say.

  “I hope you don’t get mad at me,” Unique continued, “and I hope you don’t think I’m a bad mother, but I was hoping that maybe the girls could ... could ... that we could terminate the temporary custody agreement.”

  Lorain exhaled, and a gasp flew out of her mouth that she tried to catch with her hands. “You don’t want me to have temporary custody of the girls anymore? Is that what you’re saying?” Lorain wanted to be very clear.

  “That’s exactly what I’m saying,” Unique told her as she quickly wiped a falling tear from her eye. “I want to change it to a permanent custody agreement. I want you and Nicholas to adopt the girls, legally.”

  Lorain put her hand over her heart. “Wha ... What? What did you say?”

  “Please don’t think that I’m a bad mother. I know with the boys gone I should want to and I should be able to take the girls and raise them myself. But, I’m still healing. I still hurt a lot. I still cry a lot. Some days the fight is simply getting out of bed. But Jesus,” Unique said, raising a finger. “Because of Jesus, I feel like going on. I just don’t think I’m strong enough to drag those little girls along for the ride. You know what I mean? I struggled with my boys. I don’t want to put my girls through that same thing. I can’t. I won’t. So please say you’ll do this for me. Please,” Unique cried.

  “Yes, yes, I’ll do it,” Lorain said. She walked over and squeezed Unique tightly. “We’ll do it. Nick and I will do it.” She hated the pain her daughter was going through. She hated that she’d been so selfish that she hadn’t been there for Unique like she should have been. But obviously, it had all worked out. It was all going to work out for both Unique and Lorain.

  “So you don’t think I’m being selfish?” Unique asked, pulling away from Lorain. “I just want what’s best for them. And I believe without a shadow of a doubt that you are what’s best for the girls; you and Nick.”

  “Thank you, sweetie. And, no, I don’t think you’re being selfish. This is the most selfless thing any woman could ever do for her children.”

  “So you don’t mind raising the girls?”

  “God, no, I don’t mind. I don’t mind at all.”

  “What about Nick?”

  “Oh, please; this will be the best wedding present anyone could give him. He loves Victoria
and Heaven.”

  “And I can tell they love him too,” Unique smiled, “just as much as the boys did.”

  “Yes, they do,” Lorain agreed.

  “Then it’s all settled,” Unique said, regaining her composure. “I’ve talked to my caseworker, and she’s going to make a couple referrals so that we can get the ball rolling on the custody matter, adoption, or whatever they call it.”

  “Don’t worry about all that now. We’ll work it out.”

  “Okay,” Unique agreed. “Well, I’ll let you get back to sleep.”

  “All right, then,” Lorain said, escorting Unique to the door as quickly as she could. She realized, once again, how selfish she was being—how selfish she had been ever since Unique had gotten out of jail and Korica had planted that ugly seed in her subconscious. Now that she felt more secure than ever that the girls would be and would remain a permanent fixture in her life, it was time for Lorain to now be selfless. She had to now trust God’s ways and not try to help things along with her own ways. So she stopped and asked Unique, “You want to go peek in on the girls before you leave?”

  Unique thought for a minute. “Yeah, that would be nice. I’d like that. I just didn’t want to wake them.”

  “If they didn’t wake up from all that doorbell ringing, they surely aren’t going to wake up just from you looking at them.”

  “Oh yeah, sorry about ringing your bell all loud that early in the morning. It’s just that I needed to come over here and say what I had to say before I lost my courage.”

  “Yeah, I know,” Lorain said as she led Unique to Victoria and Heaven’s nursery. Lorain slowly opened the door and stepped aside in order to allow Unique to enter the room.

  “They are sleeping like logs,” Unique whispered. “They must have had a long night.”

  “They did. They were having so much fun up playing with each other last night that I gave them an extra hour. They’re worn out.”

  Just then, one of the twins squirmed and began making a sucking motion with her lips. Both women giggled.

  “Okay, well, let me go before I wake them up. Besides, I have a catering gig and a consultation today,” Unique said.

  “You do have a busy day indeed,” Lorain agreed. “But thanks for coming by, and Unique?”

  “Yes?” Unique replied.

  “Thank you.” She nodded to the twins.

  “No. Thank you.”

  Lorain smiled and allowed Unique to exit the nursery first. Then she closed the door behind them knowing that this time, the door was definitely nailed shut.

  Readers’ Group Guide Questions

  1. Do you feel Nicholas should have told Lorain about her grandsons through his prayer, or should he have told her some other way?

  2. Lorain judged Unique by her own emotions and demeanor when she first saw Unique in jail. Do you feel juries have done the same to defendants in the past?

  3. Have you ever stepped out of your holiness and had someone say to you, “And you call yourself a Christian?” How did that make you feel?

  4. Unique had focused so much on the death of her sons that she never even thought to ask about the twins, who were alive and well. How do you feel about that?

  5. Unique led Kiki to Christ. It was alluded to that Kiki lived a homosexual life. Do you feel homosexuals can be saved Christians?

  6. Lorain wanted to hurry up and marry Nicholas because she didn’t want Korica to use her being a single woman dating men against her in a fight to take the twins from her. Do you feel Lorain was wrong for this, or do you feel that since she and Nicholas had plans to marry anyway, it didn’t matter?

  7. How do you feel about Lorain purposely keeping Unique away from Victoria and Heaven?

  8. At Unique’s mixer event, do you think Lorain might have spilled the punch on the baby on purpose just so Eleanor would have to take the twins home?

  9. Do you think Nicholas should be angry at what Korica told him at Unique’s mixer event? Do you think he should ultimately confront Lorain about it?

  10. Who do you feel is to blame for the deaths of the three boys? Why?

  About the Author

  BLESSED selling author, E.N. Joy, is the writer behind the five-book series, “New Day Divas,” coined the “Soap Opera In Print.” Formerly writing secular works under the names Joylynn M. Jossel and JOY, this award-winning author has been sharing her literary expertise on conference panels in her hometown of Columbus, Ohio, as well as cities across the country.

  After thirteen years of being a paralegal in the insurance industry, Joy finally divorced her career and married her mistress and her passion: writing. In 2000, Joy formed her own publishing company, End of the Rainbow Projects, where she published her own works until landing a book deal with a major publisher. Under End of the Rainbow, Joy has published New York Times and Essence Magazine Bestselling authors in the “Sinners Series,” which includes, Even Sinners Have Souls, Even Sinners Have Souls Too and Even Sinners Still Have Souls.

  In 2004, Joy branched off into the business of literary consulting in which she provides one-on-one consultations and literary services such as ghost writing, editing, professional read-throughs, write-behinds, etc.... Her clients consist of first-time authors, Essence Magazine bestselling authors, New York Times bestselling authors, and entertainers.

  Not forsaking her love of poetry in which she has published two works of poetry titled Please Tell Me If The Grass Is Greener and World On My Shoulders, Joy plans to turn her focus back to the genre one day. “But my spirit has moved in another direction,” Joy says. Needless to say, she no longer pens street lit (in which two of her titles, If I Ruled the World and Dollar Bill, made the Essence Magazine bestsellers list. Dollar Bill appeared in Newsweek and has also been translated into Japanese). She no longer pens erotica or adult contemporary fiction either, in which one of her titles earned her the Borders bestselling African American Romance Award at the Romance Writers of America National Conference. Instead, under the name E. N. Joy, she pens Christian fiction, and under the name N. Joy, she pens children’s and young adult titles. Joy’s children’s story, The Secret Olivia Told Me, received the American Library Association Coretta Scott King Honor. Book club rights have also been purchased by Scholastic Books, and the book is on tour at Scholastic Book Fairs in schools across the country. Elementary and middle school children have fallen in love with reading and creative writing as a result of the readings and workshops Joy performs in schools nationwide.

  Currently, Joy is the executive editor for Urban Christian. When she’s not adding her two cents to other authors’ works, she’s diligently working on her own. Joy’s “New Day Divas” series took the literary world by storm, which incited her to continue some of the characters’ stories by writing the “Still Divas” series. Joy has always been certain that her Divas project was the one that was going to afford her with the title of New York Times Bestselling Author. But she’s always been satisfied with the title of BLESSED selling author.

  Be Who You Want Your Kids To Be

  June 1 of every year is being declared as “Be Who You Want Your Kids To Be Day.” Parents and guardians around the world, please commit to being just that by filling out the commitment form below and signing it. Let’s celebrate around the world the positive changes we want to see in our kids by starting with ourselves. Let’s be our own kid’s role model.

  Today, I, as a parent/guardian, commit to doing, saying, typing, texting, wearing, listening to, watching, and thinking only things I would want my kids to. I will not do, say, type, text, wear, listen to (this includes music, gossip, rumors, etc... .), watch, or think things that I would not want my kids to. Today, I am going to be who I want my kids to be. Today, my kids will see me love, smile, read, help a complete stranger, and turn the other cheek. Today, my kids will see me be who I want them to be.

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HIS GLORY BOOK CLUB!

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  UC His Glory Book Club is the spirit-inspired brainchild of Joylynn Jossel, Author and Acquisitions Editor of Urban Christian, and Kendra Norman-Bellamy, Author for Urban Christian. This is an online book club that hosts authors of Urban Christian. We welcome as members all men and women who have a passion for reading Christian-based fiction.

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