Waking the Watcher

by Kim Loraine

  “I’ll just … leave you two.”

  I jump, heat creeping up my cheeks. I’d forgotten Devin was in the room. Looking behind me, I nod as he walks up the stairs, closing the door behind him.

  I wrap around Galen, needing to be as close as I can get. Lulled by his slow heartbeat, I drift into a light sleep, dreaming of being pulled apart by a beautiful man with silver eyes and angel’s wings.

  Galen is screaming at me from his cage. I don’t know how he did it, but he broke free earlier. I had to use more strength than I thought possible to fight him back to his prison. He shouldn’t be so powerful, but his drive to be with Reese is astounding. Damn.

  I can’t give him back. Not while he’s so strong. I may never get another chance at control. I’ve been without my love for millennia. I can’t give up now. If I let him be with Reese, I’ll never find her.

  He pushes at me, the noise of his screams setting my teeth on edge. Shaking my head, I slam down a barrier between us. That should hold him for a while at least.

  The bed is empty beside me. I blink in the darkness, surveying the state of my skull. A dull ache is all that remains of the fracture. I hadn’t meant for Galen to go down so hard in the bathroom. Hurting his body hurts mine.

  It’s still night, with hours left until first light, and I have work to do.

  “He can’t. Andrea what do you mean?” I hear Devin as he carries on a one-sided conversation. He must be on the phone. “Are you serious? If it’ll kill him, then why did you even tell him how to get rid of Sariel?”

  My back stiffens. Where was I during this conversation? I have no memory of Galen talking to Andrea.

  “Sariel is out of control. I’m not sure. He just went batshit crazy and nearly put Galen in a coma. I don’t know if he’s strong enough to fight Sariel off.”

  I can hear Reese’s heart hammering. She’s scared. Scared for Galen. Despair clutches at my chest. How could I have been so wrong? This must be another punishment dealt to me by Him. Am I cursed to find love for others and never have it for myself again? Maybe that is the true consequence of falling.

  I can hear footsteps. Someone is pacing the floor above me.

  “When can you get here?” Devin asks, making my hair stand on end. I don’t want anyone else here, least of all Andrea. She knows too much about me.

  “Fine, we’ll be wa—” Devin stops speaking, and the footfalls go silent. “He’s awake.”

  Shit.

  Soft steps hurry down the hall, and as I start up the stairs, the trapdoor opens, revealing Reese. She’s so beautiful, my chest hurts. How can I feel so much for her if she’s not mine?

  “Galen, are you feeling all right?” she asks, taking my hand.

  I keep my gaze averted and nod, wanting this moment to last. As soon as she realizes I’m not Galen, she’ll shun me.

  As soon as I clear the top stair, I pull her against my chest, needing to take her in before letting her go and breaking her heart. I’m not giving him back. I’m leaving, putting her and the rest of this mess behind me. She squeezes me, inhaling deeply and sighing.

  “I’m so glad you’re okay,” she whispers. I hear tears in her statement and have to grit my teeth as I push her away and walk in silence to the room Galen planned to share with her.

  Shoving Galen’s belongings back in his leather bag, I quickly gather myself, snagging the keys to his rental car and heading for the door.

  “Where are you going?” Her words are like a knife in my heart.

  “Not sure.” I try to keep my tone neutral, hoping she won’t realize I’m not Galen. God help me, but I want her to think he left. I don’t want her chasing after us.

  “What do you mean? You can’t just leave me here.”

  “I can. I will.”

  As I reach for the door, Devin stops me, barring my exit.

  “You’re not leaving. You think sacrificing your happiness is worth it?”

  “Leave me be.” I try for my best Irish accent. So far, no one is the wiser.

  “You’re abandoning Reese … your child.”

  I shrug. I have to make her think Galen doesn’t want them. If she comes for him, I’ll never find my soul mate. “I don’t want them. Now do as I say.”

  Devin moves aside. “You’re a fucking asshole and a coward. You know that?”

  “I do,” I say, stepping over the threshold and out into the night.

  He’s left me. After all we said, after his dream, he still left. A deep-rooted pain takes hold in my heart, digging, spreading, and killing me. Pressing the heel of my hand to my chest helps a little, as though I’m able to hold my broken heart together. I’m not crying, and that surprises me. I’m usually such an easy crier. Maybe when the pain is this severe, my body just won’t let me. Like I’m not able to handle so much emotion at once. Instead, I lean against the wall and let my legs go limp, sliding down to the floor, where I sit, hand still pressed to my chest.

  “Oh, darlin’, that wasn’t him.” Devin squats in front of me, placing a finger under my chin so I’ll look at him.

  “What?”

  “Can’t you tell by now? That was definitely not Galen. He’d never do that, not in a million years.”

  “But it sounded like him.”

  Shaking his head, Devin snorted. “Galen wouldn’t ever let me call him a coward. I don’t care how distraught he might be.”

  Thinking back, I remember his short, clipped sentences. “I never saw his eyes. Did you see them?”

  Devin shakes his head again. “My point exactly. That fucking crazy angel has hijacked Galen. Something’s going on, and I’m going to find out what it is.”

  Hope blossoms in my heart. He has to be right. Galen wouldn’t leave me, not after everything. He’s shown me time and time again how steadfast he is.

  “How can we get to him? We can’t let Sariel just take him.”

  A shrug. That’s all I get from Devin. A fucking shrug.

  “No. You did not just shrug at me. How do we find him?”

  Shaking his head, Devin turns his gaze on me. “I don’t know. It’s not like I have a line to him. We don’t share the same blood, and I doubt he’ll answer the fucking phone.”

  A sick feeling grabs me. Blood. “He’s got my blood in him. And the baby. The baby is linked to Sariel. If you feed from me, will that be enough?”

  He balks. “I don’t think you understand what you’re offering, Reese.”

  “Just answer the question.”

  “Probably. Especially since he fed on you just a few hours ago. Are you sure this is something you want to do? Galen will know. He’ll always be able to sense me on your skin. I don’t know if he’ll be able to forgive a betrayal like that.”

  That doesn’t make any sense to me. “It’s not like I’m letting you screw me. It’s just a little blood and it’s so we can find him.”

  “It’s exactly like you’re letting me screw you. Feeding is the equivalent of sex for us. Don’t you think giving someone an orgasm is sexual?”

  I frown. I hadn’t thought of that. “Is there a way to not make it feel good? Like a switch you can turn off or something?”

  He grins. “I don’t know. I’ve never had reason to try. I like to hear them moan my name.”

  Repressing a shudder, I take a deep breath. “What other option do we have?”

  Devin takes my hands and pulls me to stand. “I don’t think we have one. Unless we can track him, there’s not going to be a way to find him.”

  “And he just gets farther away the longer we wait.”

  He nods. “Exactly.”

  Shoving my sleeve up my arm, I expose my wrist. “Do it.”

  He leads me to the couch, his movements cagey and nervous. I can tell he’s just as uncomfortable as I am. “Fine. Just remember, I warned you.”

  Biting my lip, I look away as his head lowers to my arm. When his fangs pierce my flesh, I feel a momentary rush of pleasure followed by indescribable pain. It burns, fire racing up my vein
s with every pull. I try to think of Galen, of finding him, but the needles that race up my arm bring an ache to my chest. My hands are balled into fists, and I’m biting so hard, my lip starts to bleed. He pulls his fangs from my skin with a groan. Clearly it had been much better for him than for me.

  “Fuck. You taste weird. Good, but weird,” he says, leaning away from me. “You okay?”

  Bile rises in my throat. “No.” I dash for the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet.

  “Shit. I’ve never made a girl do that before.” He stands outside the door, a wary look in his ice-blue gaze.

  I rise on shaky legs and offer him a wan smile. “First time for everything.”

  “Come here,” he says, handing me a wet hand towel. “You’re shaking and pale as death. I know I didn’t take that much.”

  Taking my hand, he helps me make my way back to the couch. I twist out of his grasp, not wanting any contact with him just yet.

  “It hurt like a motherfucker,” I admit.

  As we sit, his eyebrows rise in surprise. “Really?”

  Nodding, I inspect my wrist. It’s still bleeding freely. Holding it out to him I ask, “Would you mind?”

  With a soft smile, he pricks his fingertip and heals my punctures.

  “Did you get enough? Can you find him?”

  He breathes in slow and deep. I sit, holding my breath as I watch him. Eyes closed, he mutters, “Ah, there you are, you Irish bastard. Think you can get away from me?”

  Standing, he dashes for the door. “Back in a minute,” he tosses over his shoulder, and then he’s gone.

  Leaving me alone. Again.

  Fucking hell. My head hurts, and everything smells like … cows? Where the hell am I? Sariel has released me, but something tells me he didn’t want to. I’m in the middle of nowhere, blood in my mouth, my clothes torn, and a bright-as-fuck light shining on me. As I come to my senses, I see straw, splintered wood surrounding me, and, fuck, a large piece of what looks like some kind of farming tool embedded in my thigh. My car is the source of the light. Its nose is sticking halfway through the side of this barn I’m in, a person-sized hole in the windshield.

  First things first, I need to get this metal out of my leg. Pain the likes of which I’ve never felt shoots straight to my brain as I pull. “Jesus and all the saints,” I bite out. The wound starts healing almost instantly thanks to Reese’s blood. The thought of her makes me ache. He made me leave her. He made me break her heart. It would have been a mercy for him to keep me in the dark, but he wanted me to know. The fucker.

  I stand as soon as my leg will support me. Racking my brain, I try to remember how I got here. All I get are flashes. Sariel speeding along the narrow dirt road. Me taking control and being knocked back. Him yelling at me, telling me I’ve ruined everything. He was wild, out of control, and pissed beyond belief.

  “Galen?” Devin calls as he steps through the wreckage. “Fuck, what a damn mess.”

  Snapping my gaze to him, I heave a sigh of relief. “I don’t really know what happened,” I admit.

  Cocking an eyebrow, he chuckles. “It looks like you plowed through a fucking barn.”

  “Sariel,” I start, but he holds up a hand.

  “I know. We both know it wasn’t you.” He closes the distance between us and stares at me. “But it’s you now.”

  I nod. “How did you find me? Where’s Reese?”

  The tips of his ears go pink as though he’s embarrassed by something. Leaning in, I can smell her on him. Rage boils in me. He’s had her. The unbelievable arse. “I can’t believe you. You’ve fucking had her. You tasted her. I can smell her all over you.”

  He takes a step back. “Wait, hang on…”

  “Did you make her come? She tastes like honey and wine. I bet you’ve never had anything like her.” My accusation is acid, burning just as much as the betrayal in my heart.

  “You’re a fucking idiot, you know that?”

  “I can’t believe she’d let you—” I stop, a horrifying feeling of dread taking hold. “She didn’t let you. You took her blood without asking. I’ll fucking kill you.”

  I launch myself at him, but he just stands there, ready for me. In one moment, he’s in my murderous path; the next, he’s got me on the ground, knee pressed into my back and my arm pulled behind me.

  “Let me go so I can destroy you,” I growl.

  “No way, lover boy. I didn’t have her without her permission. She asked me to.”

  I feel sick. A wave of cold nausea rolls over me. She asked? She wanted him. Had it really been that easy to let me go? “What? She’d never betray me like that.”

  “Think of it less like a betrayal and more of a sacrifice. It was only so I could track you. You still have her blood in you. Not to mention she’s pregnant with your kid.”

  “Sariel’s,” I correct him.

  He shrugs. “Whatever. Now come on. We have to get back to her. She’s alone at the house. I don’t like it.”

  I follow, leaving the wrecked car as it sits. Jealousy courses through me as I sense Reese’s blood on Devin, but I push it aside. I don’t know how long I have until Sariel breaks back through my walls, but I have to make sure Reese knows I’ll never willingly leave her.

  An uneasy feeling takes hold in my gut when we arrive at the cottage. The house blazes with light from every window, and a strange scent coasts on the breeze.

  “Who is that?” I ask.

  Devin smiles. “Andrea.”

  The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. We can’t bloody well stay hidden if he’s telling people where we are. “What? You told her we’re here?”

  “We need help, Galen. She’s the only one who knows more about Watchers than you do. She’s been around longer than both of us.”

  He’s right. I learned more from her in a few hours spent at her home than I had from any time with Sariel. He’s a withholding SOB.

  A yelp comes from the house, and I’m inside in less time than it takes to blink. “Reese? Reese? Where are you?”

  A string of curses spills out of the kitchen, and I turn the corner to find her on the floor, a broom and dustpan in her hands. Andrea stands over her, holding a towel as tomato sauce spreads across the tile. From her spot on the ground, Reese stares up at me, her lashes brimming with tears. Hurt flashes through her before she masks the emotion and nods at me, looking back down at the mess she’s cleaning.

  I kneel, picking the pieces of broken glass out of the sauce and dropping it into the dustpan. We work silently, and I know Sariel has wounded something between us. She can’t trust that I am who I say, not anymore.

  “Well, this is sufficiently awkward,” Andrea says, tossing the towel at me before walking away. “I’m going to get something to eat. I can’t handle the angst.” I hear her murmuring to Devin and wait for them to head out of the house.

  After the sauce and glass are cleaned up, Reese and I stare at each other. Her lips are turned down in a frown as she takes me in.

  “I know it wasn’t you, but he did such a good job.”

  Shaking my head, I move closer to her, but she takes a step back. It kills me. “I’ll never leave you. Not by choice.”

  “I let Devin feed from me.”

  Defiance shines. She’s daring me to be angry.

  Offering her a curt nod, I move about the kitchen, continuing where she left off as she prepared her dinner. “I almost killed him when I smelled you on him.”

  A sharp intake of breath is all I get from her.

  “Did it feel as good as it does with me?” I hate myself for asking, but I need to know.

  “It was awful. Painful.”

  As much as I hate knowing she’d been hurt, pride swells in me.

  “He’ll never touch me again.” I can hear the finality in her statement. “Neither will Sariel. You can tell him that.”

  At the sound of his name, he claws at me.

  I’m cramping. My back aches, making it hard for me to sit still as we wa
tch a silly movie—Galen’s futile attempt to distract me from the furious shit storm that is our life.

  “Ugh,” I groan. This hurts, really hurts. Then it dawns on me, this is what Trisha had told me a miscarriage feels like. It’s like getting your period, but you know it shouldn’t be happening. She’d said the pain was like the worst menstrual cramps she’d ever had.

  “Are you okay over there?” Galen asks from the other end of the couch. He stares at me cautiously.

  “Just, uncomfortable.” I wince as another cramp takes hold. A sinking feeling grows in the pit of my stomach. “I’ll be right back.”

  I shoot up, walking with purpose to the bathroom. As soon as I close the door, I throw the lock and pull down my pants and underwear, expecting blood. Nothing. The cramping continues as I sit on the toilet, waiting. Is this a blessing? I feel terrible even thinking it. But part of me, a big part of me, doesn’t want anything to do with Sariel. Standing, I pull up my pants and wash my hands. As I stare at myself in the mirror, sharp pain ripples through my abdomen, and I can’t muffle my cry. I whimper, doubling over and clutching my knees until my knuckles turn white.

  A knock at the door has me panicking. I don’t want anyone to see me like this. “Go away.” My voice is strangled, tight with pain.

  “A ghra? What’s happening?”

  I cry out again. This time, a tear escapes my eye. Oh God. I’m dying. This incubus baby is going to kill me. The door bursts open, wood splintering as the door frame breaks, and Galen stands tense and fearful, taking up the entire doorway. Twisting and pulling in my pelvis sends me to the floor, writhing in agony. My hands fly to my belly, pressing as I try to keep the pain at bay.

  “Sariel. I need Sariel,” I pant, hoping the fallen angel will be able to help me.

  Galen shakes his head. “No. He can’t be allowed to take over again. I don’t know if I can come back.”

  My tears flow freely now, the pain making me clench my teeth. I nod through the anguish, squeezing my eyes tightly shut. A scream tears from my throat as another wave of agony burns in my belly. Galen’s hand holds mine, a strong force connecting me to what I love most, helping me remember why I’m here in the first place.