Patriotic Duty

by Pinard, C. J.

  He stood up. “Do you want to get out of here?”

  I nodded. “Yes, please.”

  I had taken a cab to the airport to avoid paying parking fees so we got into his red Toyota pickup truck and I stared at him in the harsh natural light of the day. It was slightly overcast, bloated white clouds looking as if they were threatening snow were off in the distance and I felt happy to be back in Colorado despite that.

  I wanted to cry all over again looking at his face. Not because I found the scars ugly or even unattractive, I still felt the same way I had always felt about him, but because they were a reminder of why he had lied to me – of why he felt he needed to deceive me into not seeing him.

  We walked into his modest apartment that was very much furnished like a bachelor pad. There was a ten-speed bike propped against the wall and mismatched couches in the living room. It wasn’t tacky; it was just very much a man’s house.

  He dropped my suitcase next to the door and picked me up and carried me to his room. He set me down on his bed, which was a very simple queen-sized mattress with no headboard. A tall dresser was set in the corner and there was a thin closet door next to a small window in the corner.

  I sat cross-legged on the bed and he unzipped his hoodie and tossed it onto a chair in the corner. He was wearing a plain white T-shirt underneath and I could see the burn scars extended up his arm. He went over to an iPod dock and hit a few buttons, turning on Sugarland’s latest album, which crooned quietly through the speakers.

  He saw me staring and said, “I’m hideous. Do you see why I had to let you go? Who would want to be with me? You deserve better.”

  I was starting to get angry now and I narrowed my eyes at him. “You don’t get to decide what I deserve. You don’t get to make decisions for me. I really couldn’t care less what kind of scars you have, Riley. Did I really come off that shallow when we were together? Did you think I only cared about the skin on the man, rather than the man inside? A chunk of my heart is still gone, and I want it back. You’ve been holding onto it for so long, I’ve learned to live with the pain, despite the daily reminders I get by living here.”

  He pulled his T-shirt off and I could see even more scars along the left side of his chest. The hair was gone there, in fact, there was no hair at all on his chest, and I assumed he must have shaved or waxed it off, as it probably made him self-conscious that he had only had half left. Despite the scars, however, his stomach, chest, and arms were extremely toned and hard, much more so than they’d been during our summer together.

  He sat back down in front of me and slid my leather jacket off my shoulders and it fell to the bed behind me with a thud. I gently ran my fingers along the scarring on his chest, and this time, he let me.

  “Does it hurt?” I asked, not looking at him.

  He shook his head. “No, not anymore. I’ll spare you the story of my months of therapy and the six surgeries and skin grafts I’d had to repair the skin.”

  My eyes flicked back up to him and flashed in anger. “No, you won’t. You’ll tell me every damn detail. You deprived me of being here for you, and I want to hear it all. You owe me that.”

  He nodded and looked down. “I just can’t believe you still want me.”

  I grabbed his face with one hand and made him look at me. “That will be the last time you say that, get it? Every time you say that from here on out, you will owe me a piece of jewelry.”

  His eyes moved down to my throat and I could tell he was eyeing the three-stone diamond necklace. I wore it whenever I wasn’t at work and today was no exception. I’d even had it on at the wedding, where it will be forever immortalized in pictures.

  He reached up and touched it. “You kept it?”

  I smiled then looked at him with a puzzled expression. “What else would I have done with it?”

  “Well, you do like to hock jewelry from men who have wronged you.”

  I laughed. “Touché. But no, I would never give this away. It means a lot to me.”

  I gazed at him, willing him to kiss me. I didn’t care about his scars. I stared at him for a while as he stared back at me. I finally said, “I can’t believe I had to live without you for over a year. It killed me living here, knowing you were so close, terrified I would run into you and your imaginary girlfriend. All over some burn scars. I still love you, Riley. I never stopped.”

  He froze and I realized it was the first time he had heard me say it. “Cara, the scars aren’t the only reason I made you stay away.”

  I stopped breathing; what other bombshell he could possibly drop on me?

  “I…” he seemed to be having trouble speaking again.

  “Riley, just spit it out, okay?”

  “Cara, I… I can’t have kids.”

  I was confused. “What? I don’t understand.”

  “The accident in Afghanistan… I was told by the doctor that it destroyed something inside of me. I don’t really understand it, but I was just told I can’t produce sperm anymore. I… I’m sorry.”

  I sat quietly. I hadn’t really given much thought on whether or not I’d want more children in the future. My first reaction had always been no – I only wanted Aiden and never wanted to get myself into a position where I’d have to be divorced with kids again. It had been too hard and too ugly. But being a mother was important to me and always wondered if I met the right man, if I would want more.

  This wasn’t something I was going to hold against Riley. My God, he’d gone overseas and almost died to protect my freedoms and there was no way I was going to reject him over this. I already had a child, I wasn’t going to be selfish and reject him just to have more. Aside from this, it wasn’t a thought I wanted to entertain right now. Riley was here! He was right in front me and I wanted nothing more than to feel him, to touch him, to feel him love me.

  I looked into his expectant face and smiled. “I don’t care, Riley. That doesn’t make me want you any less. You think you’re damaged and broken – but who isn’t? I certainly am. My scars are on the inside. They are my souvenirs from journeys I’ve taken in life. I’ve been through a lot in my life and those treasured scars are the reminders that life is precious. These,” I said, running soft touches over the scars on his chest, “are yours. They will remind you that you can’t take anything for granted. You lost me, you lost two friends, you almost lost your life. But you were given a second chance. Are you going to live your life and enjoy everything it has to offer, or are you going to continue to hide under that hoodie and think nobody wants to see you? You’re a wounded warrior, a soldier who made a sacrifice. You should be proud of that, not ashamed.”

  I could tell he was fighting hard to keep tears from falling. He leaned forward and put his forehead against mine, staring into my eyes. I looked back into his, his soul seeming to illuminate out behind his eyes. Then he suddenly kissed me and I melted as his hot mouth found mine. Oh, how I’d missed his kisses, his touch. His hand slithered into my hair and he grabbed it at the scalp in the back. Goose bumps engulfed my entire body as flames of desire licked their way up my entire being and settled in the pit of my stomach, coming to rest between my legs in a dark, desperate desire I hadn’t felt in such a long time.

  At my groan, he smiled into my mouth before his tongue snaked into it and he pushed me back on the bed. He swiped my leather jacket off the bed and it fell to the floor. He lay halfway on top of me, kissing my mouth with more desperation than I’d ever felt in him. I was frantically returning his kisses, both of us gasping and groaning, feeling as though it had been a thousand years since we’d been touched. I could feel more warm tears sliding out of my eyes, splashing his bedspread below me and he broke the kiss and stared at me. Bringing a hand up to my face, he wiped away a tear with his thumb.

  “What’s the matter?” He looked worried.

  I shook my head, ashamed at my tears. “Nothing, Riley. I’m just so glad I have you back. I can’t live without you. Please say you won’t ever do that to me again. Please.�
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  He smiled slightly at me. “I’m yours as long as you’ll have me.”

  I put my hand on the back of his neck and pulled him back down to me, kissing him again. I slid my hands up on his scarred chest and over his scarred shoulder. Grabbing my T-shirt, he pulled it off and threw it to the floor, where it landed on top of my leather jacket. He lightly kissed my collarbone and the valley between my breasts and murmured, “Cara, you don’t know how much I’ve missed you.”

  My bra was next. He unhooked it, black satin and lace fluttering to the floor in the most disgraceful way possible.

  I ran kisses up his neck and unsnapped his jeans with vigor and urgency, and as soon as the zipper was down, he slid out of them and pushed me back down onto his bed. Pinning both hands over my head, he rubbed his bare body on mine and I moaned at the feel of his hard chest against mine. I wrapped my arms around his back and rubbed gentle fingers over the warm, hard muscles there.

  Peeling off the boxer briefs, he ran his hard length against me and then his fingers found my most intimate core.

  “Oh, Riley… oh, please…”

  “How bad do you want me?” he breathed into my ear.

  I was about to peak from what has doing with his talented and tender fingers when he stopped.

  “Please, Riley, I want you. Please, now, I’ve missed you so much,” I said, kissing him again.

  He eased himself into me and I cried out as he groaned into my ear.

  “My God. I’ve missed you, too, Cara. So much.”

  After just a few strokes I was crying out his name and digging my fingers in the flesh of his back. He also didn’t last long and found his pleasure with a breathy groan, his arm still wrapped around me, his face buried in my neck.

  We lay like that, kissing and caressing for what seemed like hours until he rolled onto his back and pulled the sheets up over us.

  I propped myself up on my elbow and traced my finger along his chest as he stared up at me. I found his white Stetson cowboy hat on the nightstand and I put it on my head.

  He looked at the hat and grinned, but I just continued to stare at him.

  “I have a question,” he said.

  “What?”

  He looked at the hat again. “Where is my 49ers hat?”

  “I hocked it on eBay,” I said seriously.

  His expression dropped. “You didn’t.”

  I couldn’t keep a straight face. “I’m joking. I still have it, I was gonna save it for Aiden but I guess you can have it.”

  He laughed. “No, Aiden can have it. I’ll just borrow it ‘til he can fit in it.”

  “Now I have a question,” I said, staring into the deep depths of his eyes.

  “What’s that?”

  I stroked my fingers along his arm. “Are you still in the Army?”

  He nodded. “Yes. They wanted to discharge me, but I fought it and they let me stay. Unfortunately, I’ll be doing desk duty for a while, but at least I’m still in.”

  I looked a little confused. “What do you mean ‘unfortunately’? That sounds way better than going back to the sandbox.”

  He sat up on his elbows and his eyes bored into mine as he spoke. “Cara, I’m a soldier, it’s what we do. I signed my life over to the Army. It’s all I know. I’m in for life, beautiful. Can you handle that?”

  I stared at the scarring of his face again, taking in every groove and ripple that had so cruelly taken away his perfect features and realization dawned on me just then. Of course he wanted to stay in. He had sacrificed so much for them, he probably felt like the military was a part of him now. He had done his patriotic duty, and I could tell he was too proud to just leave it behind and go work as a civilian.

  I nodded. “I don’t care, Riley. As long as we’re together.”

  His eyes looked into mine once more. “Are you sure? Because I’m going to be stationed somewhere else in about a year. Can you handle moving again?”

  “As long as they have a prison where I can work, I don’t care where we go.”

  I thought about how my mother would kill me dead when she found out, since she was moving to Colorado in the spring. I would cross that bridge when I came to it, though.

  Riley got up and pulled his boxer briefs on, and from the faint light from the window, I could see the scars extended his entire body, the outside of the left leg, from the foot to the top of his head, not one part of his body was left unscathed from the cruel roadside bomb.

  He turned and pulled something out of his dresser drawer and came to sit on the edge of the bed. I sat up, taking the sheet with me and looked at him. He held open his hand and I saw a small velvet bag with a drawstring on his palm.

  I smiled. “More jewelry?” I went to grab it and he yanked it away with a smile. “You sure you can commit to this life?”

  I looked a little confused and said with a grin, “Did I stutter a few minutes ago? I said I’m in. Now give me the goods,” I pointed at the shiny velvet bag, hoping it was another necklace or maybe a bracelet.

  He slowly opened it and pulled out a beautiful white-gold princess cut diamond ring, slipping it on my finger.

  “Cara Reid. Marry me. Please?”

  With my mouth open in pure shock, I looked down at the ring. “I thought you said you just thought about buying me a ring when you were overseas.”

  He chuckled. “More lies.”

  “Why didn’t you return it?”

  “I couldn’t,” he whispered. “I just couldn’t.”

  I stared at the beautiful ring and was speechless. Tears once again dripped out of my eyes.

  “You didn’t answer my question,” he chastised.

  I nodded. “Yes, Riley. Of course I’ll marry you!”

  He tossed the bag over his shoulder and smiled at me. Pushing me back on the bed, he kissed me once again. We lay like that for a good solid hour, touching, kissing, and making up for lost time.

  Love was funny like that. I suppose when you find the one you’re meant to be with, nothing will stand in your way. Not miles or distance, not war or tragedy or scars or bad luck. If two souls are meant to be together, they will find a way. And I had found mine. By the grace of God, and the undying love of two people who refused to give up and try to love anyone else, we found a way. Riley wasn’t broken or damaged, he was just perfect and I would be proud to be seen with him. His sacrifice was nothing anyone could judge, and I was excited that I would soon call myself a military wife.

  THE END

  Partial proceeds of this book will go to the Wounded Warrior Foundation. God bless our military!

  Song List:

  Alone With You – Jake Owen

  The Dance – Garth Brooks

  Second Chance – Shinedown

  Want To – Sugarland

  Do I – Luke Bryan

  What Mattered Most – Ty Herndon

  The Thunder Rolls – Garth Brooks

  Shameless – Garth Brooks

  Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye – Luke Bryan

  Felt Good on My Lips – Tim McGraw

  Breathe – Faith Hill

  Stay – Sugarland

  Need You Now – Lady Antebellum

  Some Nights – Fun

  Amazed – Lonestar

  Let Her Go – Passenger

  What Hurts the Most – Rascal Flatts

  Stay – Rhianna (feat. Mikky Ekko)

  Colder Weather – The Zac Brown Band

  T.R.O.U.B.L.E. – Travis Tritt

  Against All Odds – Phil Collins

  He Didn’t Have to Be – Brad Paisley

  How do I Live? – Trisha Yearwood

  Breakeven – The Script

  Make You Feel Wanted – Hunter Hayes

  I Wanna Talk About Me – Toby Keith

  OTHER BOOKS BY C.J. PINARD:

  Enchanted Immortals (Book #1)

  Enchanted Immortals 2: The Vortex

  Enchanted Immortals 3: The Vampyre

  Enchanted Immortals 4: The Vixen

  Three
of a Kind: Tales of Luck, Chance & Misfortune (“Leprechaun” – short story) FREE on Amazon and everywhere.

  Summer Sizzle: Stories of Love, Lust, and Passion (“Whose Bed Have Your (Combat) Boots Been Under?” – short story) FREE on Amazon and everywhere.

  Coming soon:

  Unscathed (A contemporary romance collaboration with Tim O’Rourke)

  Beneath Broken (contemporary romance)

  BSI: Bureau of Supernatural Investigation (paranormal novella)

  Soul Rebel (paranormal romance)

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

  I am a west coast native who currently lives in sunny Florida USA with my family. Coming from a family of writers and editors, I feel writing is in my blood and hope people will lose themselves for a little while in the fantasy and fun of my stories. I love to invoke emotion and laughter in people.

  I also love getting notifications that people have sent me an email, added me on Facebook, or on Goodreads, so stop by and say hi - don't be shy! I'm not! :)

  cjpinardauthor@gmail.com

  https://www.facebook.com/CJPinardAuthor?ref=hl

  http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6565787.C_J_Pinard