Surviving Love

by K. F. Breene

  “And you think we can convince them?”

  “We have to try.”

  * * *

  It was widely believed that Mikey was the star attraction to the ranch. He brought in a horde of people every summer to take his survival classes. The cost for the classes rose, and still they were sold out. Fees got higher, with only special days for those less fortunate, and the ranch had to continually offer more classes. When it came to pulling weight, he had a bunch to pull.

  And then there was Sara. If anything, those four days of her absence, after only a month in her newly created operational position, shouldn’t have left much of a mark. Instead, three orders had been wrong, staff became confused, lessons started late, and supplies ended up in the wrong place. In short, it went right back to normal—the old normal. It was universally accepted that the old normal was for the birds, and Sara had a position for as long as she wanted it. May and Dan made this clear shortly after Sara and Mikey walked into the office.

  May and Dan also made it clear that they hated to think the worst of anyone. Mikey had a huge pull, and Sara had hers as well. They had Duke’s note, and Duke’s reputation, but the older couple still shook their heads in disbelief. It eventually took Jake to put his foot down to drive the point home. And that was with Sara explaining the liability issues in a mistake this huge. She could sue—she wouldn’t, she had rushed to say—but she could. If this were to happen again, and worse had happened… Well…

  And he totally planned it! Open your eyes, people!

  Finally, after two hours of convincing, May and Dan finally agreed to let Duke go at the end of the season. He could finish out his job, but would not be welcome back. Noah, a very promising ranch hand, would step up in his place—as soon as Mikey was sure that Noah truly did not know it was a setup.

  “Oh, and one more thing,” Mikey said as they were getting ready to leave.

  May and Dan paused in polite expectation, never people to rush anyone.

  “Sara and I are dating.” He put a hand on Sara’s shoulder. “Technically, this is a workplace, so I thought we might just let you know.”

  Jake cleared his throat. Mikey grinned. “Yes, I’m boasting a little.”

  May lit up with a big smile. “I knew it! Didn’t I know it, Dan? I knew it. The second I saw you two together I said, ‘Now those two would make the cutest couple.’ I should start matchmaking.”

  “Oh, for the love of God,” Dan said, shaking his head with a put-upon expression. “Don’t get her going.”

  “I have an eye for these things,” May said.

  “Congratulations, son, she’s a lovely girl,” Dan said, shaking Mikey’s hand. He turned and gave Sara a warm hug. “Don’t let him get away with too much.”

  “Oh, pish.” May waved Dan’s comment away as she stepped up to hug Sara. “You found one of the best, girl. One of the very best. Take good care of him, and he’ll take good care of you.”

  Jake stood in the back of the room, looking on with a straight face. Mikey smiled at him and winked, in a silent exchange.

  As they emerged from the office, Mikey hugged her. “Okay, baby-love, I have to get to a class, so I’ll leave you here. I’ll be at your door at seven thirty.”

  “Baby-love?”

  “That is just one of many weird pet names that I’m going to throw your way. Keeps it interesting.”

  “Oh. Great.”

  He laughed merrily and bent down to kiss her. “Love you. Talk to you later.”

  “I love you, too.” A swarm of butterflies rolled through her stomach. “I haven’t said that, and meant it, in a long time. It is amazing that I didn’t see this before. That I didn’t notice any of this when it was happening.”

  “Sometimes it’s easier to stay in the relationship than it is to break up. A lot of couples fall into that trap.”

  “Well,” Sara said, walking with him to the exit, “I didn’t love how it ended, but maybe I needed a horrible jolt to get me on my way.”

  “Well, I’m glad we’re right where we are.”

  Smiling like an idiot, she kissed him goodbye and stumbled back to her room in a daze. She needed to get the ranch sorted out, but she also needed a dress for their date. And since Noah owed her one, he would be her chauffeur.

  * * *

  “Okay, Sara, don’t get mad.” Christie strode into the room with a brown paper bag clutched in her hand.

  “What did you do?” Sara asked, pulling her dress out of the plastic.

  Noah, falling all over himself with apologies, had not only driven her to the local dress store—which had a terrible selection—but actually went into the store with her and helped her pick one out. She absolutely believed that he had thought he was helping. He hadn’t meant to put her in harm’s way. Which meant that Duke had probably been acting alone. That was some relief. Although he was a terrible enemy to have, which had Mikey concerned.

  “Oh, that dress is nice. Tasteful,” Christie remarked, eyeing the short black number.

  “Thanks. I’m going on my first date ever tonight.”

  Christie nodded for a moment with sparkling eyes. And then held up the paper bag. “It’s time to know for sure.”

  A flash of fear rolled through Sara. “Know what?”

  “You know what. This is too big to wait and see, like you usually do.”

  Christie was right. Dead right. But as Sara took the paper bag, she suddenly felt a strange paranoia. She didn’t want to know. What if she wasn’t pregnant? Would Mikey still want her?

  What if she was? Would he take it back?

  “Oh my God,” Sara said, clutching the bag.

  “Sara, you have to do this.” Christie pushed her toward the bathroom.

  She had to.

  With a trembling hand, Sara held the bag out like it held a severed head and walked to the bathroom. Once inside, she pulled out the test and removed the plastic guard on the end. The white bit on the end stared at her. She stared back.

  “I don’t want to,” Sara admitted. “I’ll go another week and see.”

  “Take that test, bitch,” Christie yelled through the door.

  “Honestly, you are hard on a person’s self-esteem with the name calling.”

  “Do it, whore.”

  “Oh yes, that’s much better,” Sara remarked dryly, her stomach flip-flopping.

  He said he wanted a family. Would he be extremely disappointed if she wasn’t pregnant?

  He said he was ready. Was he really?

  Was she?

  What’s done was done, though. Time to find out for sure.

  She navigated the test taking, and, once done, she clicked the guard back on and set it on the counter. The second the toilet started to flush, Christie burst into the room.

  “Privacy?” Sara asked as she was shoved aside.

  “I let you pee in peace, didn’t I?”

  “Standing outside the door, yelling obscenities, is not peaceful.”

  “It would be if you were in a Zen trance—oh my…” Christie turned back to Sara, wide-eyed.

  “What?” Sara said, her insides going hot and cold and spastic and wound up. She glanced down at the blue plus. Her world went white, and then bled through in color. “I’m pregnant.”

  Chapter 20

  “You have to tell him,” Christie said, pacing across the room. “I mean, this is a wonderful thing. And he wanted it, right? So this is no big deal. I mean, it’s good. A good, big deal.”

  “Oh my God, I can’t believe this. This is a very big deal, Christie.” Sara sat on the bed all dolled up in her black dress, wringing her hands. Mikey would be there any minute. “What am I going to say? Should I wait? Aren’t you supposed to wait until after the first three months to tell people?”

  “Not the father. You have to tell him.”

  “Oh my God, Mikey is the father of my baby. I’m having a baby. Christie, I’m having a baby!” Sunshine and flowers filled Sara to the brim. “I’ve always wanted a baby. And he really
would be the best dad. He always looked after me. And holy moly, I love him so much. So, so much. To the point that I miss him constantly when he’s not right next to me. I feel like I’m coming apart when he touches me. In a good way. Oh!” All the breath exited Sara’s lungs in a rush. “I really hope he wants this as much as I do.”

  “Of course he does. He does, Sara. He said so, right? Kept bringing it up?”

  “Okay, yes, but the idea of a thing, and the actual thing, is a very big difference.”

  Christie nodded, a crease forming in her brow. “Well, he doesn’t lie. And he doesn’t blow smoke. This is a good thing.”

  “I’ve only known the adult version of him for a month.” Sara got up and started pacing. “I don’t have my life in order, I don’t have anything figured out, I don’t… Oh God, I’m not ready. This is real. This is really real. And I have no husband. Or boyfriend.”

  “No one is ever really ready for a baby. If you wait for the right time, you’ll just keep waiting. My sister was trying for one for a year. She was so excited when she got pregnant. Then totally freaked out with all the unknowns and insecurities and all that stuff. This is normal. Freaking out is normal.”

  Sara stopped pacing for a moment and faced Christie. “You’re right. Okay. What do I say?”

  “You say that you’re pregnant, obviously. Or just hint that you haven’t got your period—”

  “Monthly visitor.”

  “—and then just kinda… drop it in.”

  “Oh holy moly, this is… I don’t even know. I’m knocked up. Out of wedlock.”

  “Is that a big thing? Being out of wedlock?”

  “Well, yeah, kind of. I mean, what will my mother say? Oh God, what will his father say?” Sara started pacing again with vigor. “Mikey’s dad thinks I’m trash. He’ll be pissed about all this. He’ll think I tried to trap Mikey. He’ll probably take Mikey out of the will. Oh no, and it’ll be all my fault.”

  Christie started laughing and stopped Sara’s pacing by grabbing her arms. “Okay, you’re officially freaking out. You need to calm down. Plus, last I heard, semen is required to make a baby. It’s not all your fault.”

  “Ew. Not helping.”

  “You did take sex ed, right? They had that in your generation?”

  Sara shot her a glare. “How old do you think I am?”

  “Well, if not old, then certainly dense.”

  A knock sounded at the door. The girls froze.

  “You have to tell him,” Christie whispered furiously.

  “I don’t want to ruin my first date. Not tonight.”

  “If you don’t tell him, it will ruin tonight.”

  The knock sounded again.

  “This isn’t a house, Sara, it doesn’t take five minutes to get to the door. Answer it.”

  “Pushy!” Sara whispered back as she grasped the handle and swung open the door.

  His fabulous broad shoulders filled the doorway, his crisp white button-up straining at the seams. As she stared up into that classically handsome face, butterflies filled her stomach and her tongue became thick. How could she ever have thought Duke was hotter than the man standing in front of her? His beautifully expressive eyes stared down at her, wiping away her defenses and kissing her soul.

  All the breath left her lungs.

  “Good evening.” His deep voice oozed charm while his body portrayed confident self-poise.

  She was out of her league. Good thing she got the hook in before she had boobs.

  Or her excuse for boobs.

  “Hi,” she said lamely, a sudden burst of perspiration making her dress stick to her.

  A gorgeous smirk upped his hotness factor, making him one of the most handsome men she’d ever seen. Ever. In her life. How had she not noticed this? And run in absolute embarrassment to be talking and hanging out with a hunk.

  Did I just think the word hunk?

  “I see you are just about to freak out. I guess I pass muster,” he said quietly, his eyes twinkling while connecting with her intimately.

  “You could wear sweats and pass muster,” Sara blurted.

  “Get a grip,” came from within the room.

  “It’s really hot in here,” she murmured, fanning herself.

  “You look beautiful, dove,” he said in a husky whisper, his eyes roaming her face, and then her body, and then back to her face. “You’ve outdone me.”

  Christie scoffed from within. Sara agreed. There was no way.

  He held out a potted sunflower. “I thought maybe you wanted something alive, since you had to kill and eat your own food in the wild.”

  “Ew,” they heard from inside the room.

  “Christie, can you find somewhere else to be?” Sara yelled behind her.

  “Why? Aren’t you leaving? You know, to talk about things…”

  Yes. Leaving.

  Sara quickly took the flower—incredibly thoughtful and sweet gesture—and nearly threw it at Christie, who was sitting on the bed, waiting.

  “Tell him,” Christie whispered.

  “Shhhh!”

  As Sara reached the door, Mikey held out his hand. Without even thinking, she entwined her fingers within his, feeling that delicious hum settle into her body.

  “Where to?” Sara asked in a sort of trance, nothing mattering but the heat of his body and the energy of their touch.

  “McDonald’s, right?”

  “Can we make love in a bed tonight? Oh, wait—shoot. I should bring clothes and things.”

  Mikey stopped and looked down at her, trapping her in that spun-honey oasis. Her mind stuttered for one full moment. Words came out before she could stop herself. “When you look at me, does it feel like an electric heater is right in your chest? Like your heart is pulsing? Because if not, I might be having a heart attack.”

  He bent down slowly and brushed his full lips against hers. Electric current sparked at the touch, sending shooting tingles into her body. “That’s what love feels like, dove. Like nothing else in the world matters besides the hand that I’m holding right this moment.”

  “Touching. And that’s why he gets all the ladies,” a deep voice said from a few feet away.

  Sara startled, having forgotten they were in eyesight and earshot of anyone passing by. How’d we get outside? She could’ve sworn they’d stopped in the hall.

  Greg stood by the wall with a grin, waiting for them to clear out of the doorway so he could get by.

  “Hey, Greg,” Sara said, throwing her hand up for a high five.

  Greg put his hand up close to his head, palm out. In a deep voice out of a western, he answered, “How.”

  “What are you up to, racist?” Mikey asked with a grin.

  “I am wooing someone,” Greg said in a haughty tone. “She is trying to put me in the friend zone, the little vixen, so I am trying extra hard to be dashing, and saying ‘ass’ as often as possible. I shall win her, slowly but surely.”

  “Who, Ethel?” Sara smirked.

  “By saying ‘ass’ to a lady?” Mikey asked in confusion.

  “Oh, she’s no lady.” Sara laughed.

  “Can you two get out of the way?” Greg said, jostling Mikey as he tried to shuffle by.

  Chuckling, Mikey gave him an olé gesture and got out of the way. Sara followed him in a moment later.

  “Jesus. Nosy, much?” Greg asked, glancing behind him. “Or are you terrible at stalking?”

  “I forgot my overnight bag. Paranoid, much?”

  When they reached the door, Greg stepped out of the way so Sara could squeak by and open the door. Christie glanced up from where she sat on the bed, tears in her eyes.

  “What the—”

  Without even pausing, she swung around immediately and slammed the door in Greg’s face. She was sitting next to Christie a moment later, hand on her friend’s back. “What happened? Was it me?”

  Christie laughed and wiped her face, a cry-hiccup breaking free. “No. It’s just… I love that you’re in love. That, you
know, you had a really crap time of things, and then you found someone. I just wish it could happen for me.”

  “Christie, there is a sweet, funny, nice-bodied man waiting outside as we speak. Give him a try. What’s the problem? You don’t fall in love overnight. Especially if you’ve only said three words to the guy. Get to know him a little.”

  Christie wiped her face again and stood up. “It’s nothing. Go. Have fun.”

  “It is something,” Sara said, standing with her. “You aren’t the sentimental type. What’s up? He said you want to put him in the friend zone. Since when do you want more friends?”

  “Since I don’t want intimacy, and no guy is going to stay abstinent in this day and age.”

  Sara’s mouth dropped open. “Are you waiting until marriage? Oh my God, I’m pregnant without a proper boyfriend and you are waiting for marriage. I must look like a huge slut to you!”

  “The freaking out is getting slightly absurd, darling. And no, I’m not waiting until marriage. I’ve—” An expression of pure misery enveloped Christie’s face, her eyes filling with fresh tears. She turned away immediately, busying herself by straightening perfectly straight items on her nightstand. “I just have a hard time with intimacy. Bad experience. It’s nothing. Happened years ago. But I don’t want to go rushing in to anything, that’s all.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?” Sara asked quietly, putting her hand on Christie’s back. She could feel the other woman trembling beneath her touch.

  Christie laughed in that “I am extremely uncomfortable about this whole situation” way before she strode to the bathroom. “Nope. I’m good. I just had a moment of feeling sorry for myself seeing you with Mikey. He’s a great catch, Sara, really he is. Now, please go away and let a girl get ready to go ride a horse.”

  Sara stood motionless for a moment, indecisive. She didn’t know Christie that well, but they’d grown close in such a short period of time. She wanted to be there for her new friend, but she also knew this wasn’t the time. Christie, standing at the sink, trying to get it together, was not a woman that wanted attention. Needed it, probably, but didn’t want it. Not right that minute. She wasn’t ready for it.