The Boyfriend Bylaws (Totally Fit)

by Susan Hatler

  Even worse, I’d left eight messages but Erica still hadn’t called me back, so I had all this pent up aggression I hadn’t been able to release. Now, I had to go in and face Matt. I’d never dreaded going to work in the two years I’d worked here. Today, the front door felt unusually heavy and it took all my effort to pull it open then step into the warmth of the lobby.

  Matt sat in his usual spot, reading a thick book with a faded grey hardcover.

  My stomach lurched as if part of me hadn’t expected him to be here. As if one argument with Melanie Porter would be enough to get him to call in sick after a year and a half of working here and never missing a day. Oh, gosh. I was stalling.

  “Good morning,” I said, adjusting the handle on my shoulder.

  “Morning.” His voice was neutral, neither friendly nor angry, but he didn’t look up from his book.

  Bad sign. I swallowed the lump in my throat, and walked past the front counter.

  “What’s the word?” he said.

  I stopped, my eyes promptly filling. “The word?”

  Matt shut his book with a loud snap. He no longer looked disinterested. He looked hurt. “After a year and a half of giving me The Word, you think you’re going to pass by without choosing it?”

  I bit my lip. “You’re speaking to me.”

  “Apparently so.” His voice was lighter this time. Not quite friendly, but it seemed like he was trying.

  My eyes burned and I had to blink rapidly to keep the tears at bay. “Matt, I’m—”

  “The word, Mel.” He seemed uncomfortable and shook his head. “It’s just a word.”

  It irritated me that he wouldn’t let me say what I needed to say. “Matt, I’m sorry.”

  He gave me a blank look. “That’s three words. We only need one.”

  I couldn’t help, but smile. “Does that mean I’m forgiven?”

  “Forgiven?” Matt leaned forward, tapping his finger on the countertop. “That’s one word, I suppose, but not very imaginative.”

  “Thanks, Matt. You don’t know how much I—” I leaned on the counter and my hand accidentally brushed his.

  He immediately pulled away from me. “Those are a lot of words. I’m beginning to think you’ve forgotten how the game goes.”

  It hurt that he’d cringed at my touch, but I suppose I deserved it. At least he was talking to me. “You pick the word.”

  “Hmm,” he said, then shook his head. “That’s not how it works.”

  I shrugged. “Seems like things are working differently now.”

  He didn’t say anything and I didn’t say anything, and the long drawn out silence was starting to get to me when the front door burst open.

  “Mornin’ all!” Steve strode in wearing his red polo and white shorts. “What’s the word?”

  Matt and I kept staring at each other, neither of us answering. How had I never noticed how stubborn he could be?

  Steve leaned against the counter next to me. “The word, people. Clue me in already.”

  Remembering what Matt had said when I’d told him to choose the word, I turned to Steve, and said, “The word of the day is hmmm.”

  “Really?” Steve scratched his head. “Is that a word? Seems like more of a sound to me. Hmmm.”

  I gestured toward Matt with my thumb, just like he usually did with me. “He picked it. Blame him, not me.”

  The corners of Matt’s mouth twitched, but he didn’t have a comeback.

  I widened my eyes as if shocked. “Finally, I’ve stumped the unstumpable.” I smiled. “Hmmm. I think I like that.”

  Steve looked from Matt to me. “Why do I always feel like I’m missing something when it comes to you two?”

  “Hmmm,” Matt said. “Don’t know, Steve. Were you often left out as a child?”

  “Actually…” he began.

  A ding ding sounded from behind me, but I couldn’t bring myself to turn around. If it was Erica, I might lose it, and I didn’t want to lose it in front of Matt and Steve.

  “Good morning,” a familiar male voice said. “Is the gym open yet?”

  Definitely not Erica.

  It was Brad.

  Every nerve in my body went on red alert. He came up behind me, but I couldn’t move.

  Instead of greeting Brad the way a front clerk was supposed to, Matt just stared at him. Truth be told, he seemed kinda angry.

  “It’s a few minutes early, but sure.” Steve picked up his gym bag and started heading around the desk. “Come on back.”

  “All right.” Brad followed Steve’s trail, but said over his shoulder, “Mornin’ Mel.”

  “Morning.” But I didn’t even look at him. I raised my brows at Matt, hoping to get that hard look off his normally sweet face. “Hmmm.”

  “That guy is an idiot,” he said, before picking up the book he’d been reading earlier.

  A warm feeling flushed through me at Matt’s protectiveness.

  The front door dinged again. This time, it was Erica. “Hi, everyone. How’s it going?”

  “It’s going, Conner,” Matt said. The muscles on his forehead had yet to relax.

  “Okaay.” She tapped her fingers on the countertop, turned to me, and bopped the heel of her hand against her forehead. “Sorry I didn’t get a chance to call you back last night. Mario came over and well, you know.”

  I did know. I was beginning to finally know Erica pretty well, actually. “Can I speak to you in the back, please?”

  Matt raised his brows as I stormed past him and pushed through the double doors that led to the back.

  I’d avoided my mom since she left me.

  I’d avoided seeing my relationships for what they really were.

  Well, I was done avoiding anything.

  ****

  I had ten minutes before my aerobics class and it’s not like I had my own office, so I led Erica into the janitor’s closet and closed the door.

  “What’s up, girl?” Erica may have been flighty, but she wasn’t stupid. “You’re mad that I didn’t call you back?”

  I threw an irritated look at the cleaning products on the shelf. “When I leave eight messages telling you to call as soon as you get this, that’s a good indication it’s pretty important.”

  “So was my date with Mario.” She smiled, but when I didn’t smile back, she let out a big sigh. “All right, what gives?”

  “Matt Thompson is not a player.” My voice cracked and I started to pace the closet. “You told me he was.”

  To Erica’s credit, she didn’t deny it. “You sound mad.”

  “Of course, I’m mad.” I strode across the tiny room in two steps, then stopped and threw my hands wide. “You lied.”

  She held her palm up. “First of all, I didn’t lie.”

  My mouth dropped open and I gave her a look that said I didn’t believe her.

  “Okay, I lied.” Her tone softened. “But, it’s not like I lied about something important between you and me. Like if I’d said you don’t look fat in that outfit and you did, that would be a real lie. Saying some guy’s a player….” She waved a hand in the air as if she were trying to find the right words.

  “But he’s not,” I said.

  “Well, of course he’s not. He’s Matt. He’s perfect.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “What did you want me to say?” Her pitch rose an octave. “That after two dates, he still wouldn’t make a move?” Her pitch went even higher. “That he wasn’t interested in me that way and that he said he wanted to be friends?”

  I stared at her blankly, shocked to finally hear what really went down between them. “Well, why not if that’s what actually happened?”

  “Because it’s pathetic.” She said it as if I were stupid. “I’d waxed poetic about how great he was, but he didn’t think I was that great. Did you want me to write it on a billboard?”

  “How can you justify lying to me?”

  “Well, I can’t believe you’re bent out of shape over something that had nothing to do with you.�
��

  The door to the janitor’s closet opened suddenly. Hot Nick stood there, only his hotness seemed to have dimmed slightly. All I could think about was Matt and the way he’d avoided my touch earlier.

  “Ladies, every word you’re saying is coming through to my office,” Nick said, looking to the far wall where the dusty vent had apparently been relaying our conversation. He checked his watch. “It’s ten after six.” He looked at Erica. “Don’t you have a yoga class you should be leading?”

  “We were just…finishing up.” Erica gave me a dirty look as if this had been my fault, then she hurried out of the closet.

  “And you, Melanie?” Nick’s voice sounded firm, strong, and in charge.

  If I weren’t so upset, I’m sure I would’ve found it appealing. “I’m sorry. I’m going.”

  My six o’clock class was usually full of people who wanted to get their cardio in before work. I’d never been more than a minute late to class. How embarrassing.

  I moved past Nick without glancing up at him until I heard him speak.

  “Everything okay?”

  “Perfect,” I said. Perfectly awful, that is.

  “Good.” He lifted a hand to adjust his tie. “Are you, by any chance, available for lunch day?”

  “Lunch?” I blinked, stunned. I hadn’t even flirted with him yet. I didn’t feel the spark of excitement I thought I’d feel if he asked me out, but a lunch date might be just the thing to cheer me up. Then, I remembered Betty and bit my lip. Boyfriend Bylaw number two. I had to get permission to accept a date, but I didn’t have time to call Patti since I was already late for class. Not to mention Nick had started giving me a weird look.

  Nick seemed great, but Betty was my shiny blue security blanket. I’d already lost Matt. I couldn’t lose her, too.

  “Melanie?” His voice was tinged with confusion. “I know it’s last minute. Is there a problem?”

  “Right. I mean, no. Lunch.” My stress level went up and I could actually feel the clock ticking. Why couldn’t Patti have given me pre-permission like I’d asked? I felt dumb for not answering, but how could I explain that I had to call my roomie for permission to go to lunch with him?

  Then something occurred to me. Patti managed my love life, not my work life. Maybe Nick was asking me out for business reasons. I smiled, proud of myself. “I accept. A working lunch sounds great.”

  “Noon?” He smirked and the adorable dimple on the left side of his mouth popped out.

  “A nooner’s perfect.” My eyes widened at my unfortunate choice of words and my face flamed. “Um, I mean, sure, noon works.”

  “Noon then.” He nodded, then held his arm out to let me pass through the doorway first.

  Total gentleman. Wow.

  I hauled booty to the aerobics room, unzipping my pink hooded sweatshirt as I ran.

  I couldn’t help thinking of Matt and how I’d screwed up our friendship.

  But, maybe this lunch would turn my life in a different direction.

  ****

  It wasn’t an evening at The Boat House. I would’ve rather met Nick somewhere nicer—somewhere the ketchup didn’t come out of a group container with a plastic pump—but at least the little burger joint Nick took me to was in walking distance from the gym. If needed, it would take less convincing for Patti to think this lunch was solely business-related.

  Nick carried our tray to a metal table in the corner. At first, it felt awkward, just as first dates often are. Thankfully, I knew how to steer conversations with men. Career guys enjoy talking about their accomplishments. It seemed calculated, but I figured it might help break the ice.

  “So, owning your own business—wow.” Compliments didn’t hurt either. “Do you own any other gyms besides Totally Fit?”

  Nick smiled, obviously happy with the topic I’d chosen. “I just moved up here from L.A. and have a couple restaurants there.”

  “Impressive,” I said, wondering if by “restaurants” he meant burger joints similar to this one.

  He cupped his chin, smiled again, but didn’t say anything.

  Getting a conversation going with him was proving to be a challenge.

  “Seems like you’ve been working so hard.” More praise. Not a lie though. He’d apparently beat all of us to the gym today. Rudy rarely showed up before noon. “Have you had a chance to see much of Sacramento yet?”

  “Not really.” He reached for a handful of fries and managed to stuff them all in his mouth without any falling out. “Work’s keeping me pretty busy.”

  I stared at him in amazement. Had he actually swallowed all those fries without chewing?

  “Which is what I wanted to talk to you about.”

  “Work?” I asked. “Really? Is that why you asked me to lunch?” Funny, I didn’t sound that disappointed. I didn’t feel that disappointed either.

  “Mostly.” He reached down to the floor, snapped open his briefcase and pulled out a pad of paper, which he set on the table. “You’ve been an aerobics instructor at Totally Fit for a couple years now. How do you think it’s going?”

  Great, until two days ago. Now it felt like an inquisition. “Fine, I guess.”

  “And you teach.…”

  It was all I could do not to sigh. Didn’t Rudy have this written down somewhere? “Hip-hop, step, kick-boxing.”

  “Do you think there’s a pattern to how many people show up for a class?”

  “Pretty much,” I said, feeling like I should be on the payroll right now. Seriously, this was the most boring semi-date of my life. I couldn’t even think of a compliment to throw at him. Having lost my appetite, I checked my watch. “Friday nights are pretty dead.” I looked at him meaningfully. “With it being date night and all.”

  He held my gaze a moment, then turned back to his paper and began writing. “Are Saturdays dead, too?”

  “Yes.” I sighed, bored to death of the work talk. “Why don’t you tell me something about yourself?”

  He looked up at me and stared, apparently mute.

  “You know.” I gestured with my hand. “Like…what do you do for fun?”

  He leaned back in his seat, but didn’t drop the pen. “Once the snow drops, I plan to hit the slopes in Tahoe.”

  “Oh, I love to ski.” Progress. Now we were getting somewhere. “What do you do for fun before it snows? You know, in the fall.” Sometimes you had to spell it out for men. “Like now.”

  He watched me bite my hamburger.

  I made a special point of chewing carefully, hoping he’d follow my lead. Maybe it’d help him avoid receiving the Heimlich one day.

  He gave that dimpled half-smile, again. “Most women I know with a figure like yours just graze on salad. Dressing on the side.”

  I paused mid-chew. The guy needed to be retrained on giving compliments. “We’re at a hamburger place, not Fresh Choice.”

  He cleared his throat. “Anything else you can think of to explain your more popular classes?”

  “No.” No, no, a hundred times no!

  “So, who takes hip-hop?” His fries were gone, but his hamburger lay untouched on his plate. Interesting. “Women? Men?”

  “Mostly women, but we do have two guys.” I studied him, wondering if he could dance. “Feel free to drop in sometime.”

  Nick laughed. “Me? Hip-hop? I don’t think so.”

  “Why not? Don’t you like to dance?”

  “Sure.” He shrugged. “At a club or something. But I’m not a dance class kind of guy.”

  “Well then.” I leaned forward in my seat, thinking that if we were dancing then we wouldn’t have to be talking. “I guess if I want to dance with you, it’ll have to be at a club.”

  His eyes flicked to mine as if the idea had finally occurred to him. “Know of any good clubs around here?”

  Jackpot. I kept my gaze on his. “Plenty.”

  He considered my answer for a few seconds, then leaned forward in his chair. “How about this Friday?”

  Finally, he’d
asked me out on a real date. But, there was still Rule number two to contend with. “Why don’t you call me?”

  “I will. By the way…” He finally reached for his burger, “Red’s a great color on you.”

  “Thanks.” A decent compliment and a date even though I hadn’t officially accepted. Things were starting to look up.

  So why did I still feel down?

  CHAPTER FIVE

  “Thanks.” I tipped the pizza delivery gal and breathed in the yummy scent of pepperoni and cheese. I kicked the door closed and brought our dinner to the coffee table. “Pizza’s here!”

  Patti came in from her room and flipped on the TV. “Aw, honey, you cooked.”

  “Your turn tomorrow night.” I handed Patti a slice on a napkin and then noticed the red light blinking on my cell. I dialed into my voicemail to check my messages.