Sweet Agony (Sweet Series Book 1)

by Jessie Lane

  I slammed home, shouting out at the grip she had on me. Dream Ginny shouted, too. For a moment, though, it sounded more like a cry.

  “Fuuuuck, you feel better than anything I’ve ever had.”

  “Lucas,” her voice hitched.

  “Sh … honey. I’m gonna move, ’kay?”

  “O-ok-kay.”

  Then I started sliding in and out of her.

  “So fucking good. So sweet. Ginny,” I rambled on. “I don’t ever want to stop. So tight, my sweet Ginny. Mine,” I growled. “Every dream with you gets better and better. You keep the nightmares away.” I thrust into her over and over.

  This right here, even if it was a fuckin’ drunken figment of my imagination, was everything I had wanted from before I was even smart enough to realize it. The sweet angel who had grown up across the street from me was spread out below me, around me. I could touch and taste the sweetness of her innocence, and her moans sounded better than any music I had ever heard.

  Running my lips over her skin, I moved until I met the single tear track on the side of her face. I pressed my lips to the damp skin there then made a trail of kisses back to her plump lips. Her tongue felt velvet soft against my own, and she tasted like the rich, sugary birthday cake I had eaten earlier.

  As I slowly moved in and out of her, the sensation of her surrounding my hard length was enough to make me wish I could die just like this—surrounded by her touch and warmth, loving her.

  When she moved her hands up to grab my shoulders, her nails pricking my skin in their fierce, little grip, it almost sent me over, which just wouldn’t do.

  I was wrapped up in heaven right now with the angel of my dreams moaning against my lips as I made love to her. This couldn’t end. I needed to make it last as long as I possibly could because, when I woke up, I would be inundated by the hell that was my life without her. It was time to show dream Ginny what I longed to show my real live Ginny …

  I owned her.

  Mind, body, and soul.

  And this fantasy wouldn’t end until I was damn ready for it to.

  Grabbing her hands, I forced them to the bed on either side of her head, lacing my fingers with hers, locked together as one exactly as we should be.

  “Lucas!” she sobbed. “I—” Her voice cracked. “I don’t know what to do.”

  Leaning down so our lips were touching, skimming as we breathed each other’s air, I gave her the simple truth.

  “I’ll lead; you follow. I’ll command; you’ll obey. Gimme all of you, sweetheart, and I’m gonna take it, but I’m also gonna give you back so much you won’t miss what I take. Understood?”

  She bit her bottom lip uncertainly yet nodded. It was all the permission I needed, but I wanted more.

  “Gimme the words. I wanna hear you say it.”

  With a timid look, she asked slowly, “Say what?”

  “Say you’re mine.”

  “I’ve always been yours.” No hesitation. No doubt.

  It was so close to how I knew the real Ginny would answer that I almost stopped what I was doing. I refused to let this dream go, though, so I pulled out until my tip was at her entrance then surged forward inside of her, reveling in the way I felt complete for the first time in my life.

  “Damn right you have been, baby. Now I’m gonna show you how you were made for me.”

  And that was what I did for what felt like forever yet not long enough. I could touch her and love her every day of my life, and it would never be long enough.

  One hand held both of hers captured to the bed while I used my free hand, my lips, my teeth, and my cock to brand every inch of my angel.

  I whispered things I never dared to tell her in the light of day: how I had planned for so long to make her mine, how I had known since she was thirteen that she was mine, and I had waited so fucking long to hold her like this. I even whispered all of my darker urges: how I would claim her in ways she had never dreamed, consuming all of her until there was no doubt in her mind whom she belonged to.

  However, it wasn’t one-sided. I might take everything from Ginny since I needed her with every fiber of my being, but I would also offer myself back to her, giving her everything I had wanted to give her for years—my passion, even my love.

  Dream Ginny tried to thrust her hips and move with me, but the movements were awkward, as if she were unsure of what she was doing, which was something else she had never done in my dreams. In my dreams, I had molded her into the little sex kitten I knew she could be. It didn’t matter, though. I knew how to handle my girl.

  I let go of her hands and held her hips down, thrusting harder with my cock, making sure to hit her g-spot with every glide in.

  When she started moaning my name, it nearly sent me over. However, I wouldn’t let myself go, not until I made my girl come.

  I used my hand to play with her nipples as I sped up my thrusts. She went wild underneath me, hoarsely calling my name, asking for more, begging for harder. I gave her what she begged for because I was damn near begging for the same things, too.

  When her orgasm finally crashed over her, she clamped down on me so hard I swear I saw fuckin’ stars.

  Dream Ginny and I finished just like I had always dreamed—together—and then I passed the fuck out.

  The next morning, the remnants of my dream from the night before quickly became a goddamn nightmare in the light of day.

  I woke up to banging on my cabin door, a body draped over mine, and confused as hell. The banging wouldn’t stop, and my head didn’t appreciate it. I was trying to figure out where I had gone to pick up the broad on top of me.

  Fuck, she even looked a little like my angel, with creamy skin and blonde hair.

  If I had been dreaming about Ginny while I was doing this chick, I sure as hell hoped I hadn’t called out my angel’s name. That was a good way for a man to get his nuts cut off. Of course, I probably should have been more worried about not remembering where I had met the woman instead of if I had moaned the wrong name. Whoever she was, she needed to go because I had to murder the person who wouldn’t stop banging on my damn door.

  I opened my mouth to wake the chick up, and then said broad turned her face toward mine. That was when the shit hit the fan.

  The broad was Ginny.

  “What the fuck?” I whispered roughly.

  Her blue eyes blinked open, and when she saw me looking at her, she smiled … until I opened my mouth again.

  “What the fuck, Gin!” I fumed as I pushed her roughly off me.

  She recoiled as if I had slapped her, grabbing the sheet to cover her naked body, which made me realize I was naked, too.

  Another round of banging sounded on my door. Then I heard my sister shout something.

  Looking at the door then back to Gin naked in my bed, I flipped out.

  “This cannot be happening. What the fuck is going on here, Ginny?” I yelled at her.

  She flinched again, and it only pissed me off more. I would never hurt her, so she had no reason to flinch like that.

  Jumping out of the bed, I grabbed my jeans and pulled them on while trying to ignore the awkward silence in the room. Then I looked back at the gorgeous, naked woman in my bed, and everything inside of me felt conflicted. In this moment, I realized somewhat resentfully that all of my dreams of waking up next to my angel had finally come true.

  All of my nightmares, too.

  During the night, I might have touched, kissed, and loved my Gin just as I had fantasized about doing a million times before. Still, the bleak truth was, if I had, then I shouldn’t have. The dangerous life I led was still a place where my vibrant, beautiful Ginny didn’t belong.

  God, I hoped I hadn’t done anything stupid like fuck her.

  Running my hands through my hair in frustration, I tried to lower my voice to soothe her. “What are you doing in my bed, Gin?”

  “You don’t remember?” she questioned me softly.

  My head throbbed with my sister continuously banging a
way at that fucking door. I was ready to wring her neck.

  “I remember getting drunk at the cookout, and then I guess I passed out. What else is there to remember? Did you help me get back here?”

  I watched as something in her eyes died. She wilted, sadly whispering, “You don’t remember.”

  Frustrated with what was turning out to be the morning from hell, I snapped at her, “I was drunk. Drunk people tend to forget shit. Now you need to get up, get some goddamn clothes on, and then get out of here after I get rid of my sister so no one knows you slept in my cabin last night.”

  Not giving her a chance to respond, I walked out of the bedroom, shut the door behind me so no one would see Gin, and went to the front door. Whipping it open like an angry bear, I snapped at my pain in the ass sister, “What!”

  She propped a hand on her hip and gave me the evil eye. “Wake up on the wrong side of the bed, jerk-face? And who are you yelling at in there?” Olivia craned her head around, trying to see around my body and into the cabin.

  Shit. What the fuck was I going to do, tell my sister her best friend was naked in my bedroom and I didn’t know why? Hell no.

  “I’m not yelling at anyone. I stubbed my toe when I jumped out of the bed because you wouldn’t stop banging on the damn door and shrieking like a harpy. Now what the hell do you want?”

  “Have you seen Ginny?” she asked. “She wasn’t in her cabin this morning.”

  “No,” I responded.

  “Damn. Okay. I’m gonna leave your grumpy ass alone to get some coffee.” Olivia huffed in exasperation then pivoted on her heel, stepping away from my door. I almost breathed a sigh of relief yet held it in when she whipped her head back around to look at me. “Ma says we have to check out by ten, so get a move on.”

  I watched my sister as she flounced off then closed my door and leaned against it with my forehead pressed against the wood.

  A noise behind me told me Ginny had entered the main area of the cabin, and I turned just in time to see her barreling at me. Or, at least, I thought it was me until she angrily tried to push me out of the way of the door. Jesus, what had crawled up her ass this morning?

  When I didn’t move out of her way, she started slapping her hands against my arms and chest.

  Grabbing her flailing hands, I barked, “What’s your problem, woman?”

  Tears filled her eyes as she screamed at the top of her lungs, “I never want to see you again, Lucas Young!”

  I was taken aback by her outburst, which finally allowed her to shove me out of the way so she could storm out the door and take off running. If I yelled her name, my sister or someone else might hear and get the wrong idea about why she was running from my cabin. Therefore, I let her go with the intention of tracking her down later and apologizing for freaking out on her.

  Closing the door, I was walking back to the bedroom with my mind set on taking a shower, getting dressed, and tracking down Gin to apologize when a flash of red had me stopping in my tracks. I had seen a lot of blood in my life, but this time, it sent a chill through me from head to toe. Not because there was a lot of it in the sense that meant somebody was bleeding out and dying. No, this was much, much worse.

  It was a small smear of blood, something that should seem irrelevant. Except, this small smear was on the white sheets of my bed.

  I had a bad feeling I knew where that blood had come from. Damn, but I had seriously fucked it all up royally this time. The memories of last night’s dream, fuzzy as they were, slowly creeped in.

  I was an ass. I had taken my girl’s virginity then thrown her out like she was a dirty secret.

  By the time I hauled ass to Gin’s cabin to do whatever I could to salvage this nightmare, she was already long gone.

  What the fuck have I done?

  Ginny

  What did I do?

  The question ran through my head on repeat as I drove away from the hell I had just endured.

  The best night of my entire life, the very thing I had dreamed of for years, had just been reduced to a memory that would haunt me for the rest of my life.

  Never had I imagined it could go this badly. Never, ever. Some yelling? Maybe. Anger? Knowing Lucas, probably at least a little. I had, in essence, ambushed him when he was truly what my mom and Mrs. Young would call a man’s man. Lucas was just like his father in so many ways and liked to be in control of all things at all times.

  Honestly, the reaction I had received had been the stuff of nightmares.

  I had known he was drunk, but I hadn’t realized he was so far gone he wouldn’t remember anything. I had been drunk in my own way on his kisses.

  The moment he had slammed his lips down on mine, I had been lost in a haze of pleasure, lost to everything except the touch and taste of him. The man had a way of intoxicating me with nothing other than his mouth.

  I had felt like an addict in desperate need of an intervention—shaking, raw, and desperate from the inside out.

  All of those words he had whispered to me in the dark, had he meant any of them?

  “Oh, God, baby, I’ve been waiting for you, for this moment, forever. Hold on tight, sweetheart; never let me go.” At those words, I could only hold on more tightly both in my heart and physically in the moment.

  There had been more than honeyed words coming from his lips, though. He had said things to me that would keep me blushing for a month.

  And just like that, I felt the ghost of his lips against my ear as he whispered, “Damn, you feel good. Perfect for me. I bet your mouth and ass will be just as perfect, too, sweetheart. I can’t wait to feel them on my cock.”

  Just like that, my body had been on fire and building through the discomfort to something fairy tales were made of.

  Even now, with my heart broken beyond repair, I couldn’t stop the flush that spread over my face at the memory of those words.

  I didn’t know how long the actual act of us having sex had lasted, but it had been long enough for Lucas to take my virginity … and so much more.

  Last night, I hadn’t cared that he had taken everything I was. He had given me all the words I had always wanted to hear.

  “I want my ring wrapped around your finger the way my necklace is wrapped around your pretty throat.” God help me, I’d wanted that, too.

  After saying that, he had gently wrapped one of his hands around my throat with a savage look of determination on his face, his fingers squeezing just enough to send my heart into a frantic beat in my chest. He hadn’t hurt me, and I knew he never would, not like that. However, there was no doubt his hand wrapped around my vulnerable throat had been a physical message, and his next words had been the verbal embodiment of it.

  “I’d show the whole world that I own you. Love you so thoroughly in every way I could that no one would ever doubt you were mine.”

  And he had given me even more words I had never dreamed of hearing.

  “You feel me inside of you? I’m filling you up, baby. Your tight, little pussy is the sweetest thing I’ve ever felt, and I’m going to fuck it so good you’ll never forget who it belongs to.”

  The problem was that he had taken back everything he had given me, leaving me with nothing. He had filled me up both physically and emotionally and then left me hollow.

  Then a horrendous thought hit me like a sucker punch to the gut, knocking the air out of me.

  Oh, God.

  Oh, hell.

  Oh, God!

  What if Lucas had thought I was someone else? What if he had thought he was saying all those sweet nothings to another woman? What if all of the words that had made me feel so whole, so utterly complete were never meant for me at all?

  I couldn’t remember if he had even said my name at any point last night. I had been so wrapped up in finally getting what I wanted that it had never occurred to me Lucas might not think it was me.

  The pain in my chest magnified until I felt like I couldn’t breathe. My vision got blurry, and the road in front of me became
impossible to see. There was a part of me that couldn’t care if I got into an accident and it ended me, but I didn’t want anyone else to get hurt because of my recklessness, so I pulled my car over to the safety of the side of the road.

  When my lungs started to burn enough that the sting bled through the pain around my heart, I realized it was because I wasn’t breathing. Opening my mouth, a jagged gasp escaped as I tried to inhale. My throat felt like it was closing up, making it harder to pull in the much needed oxygen. Somehow, however, I managed to get at least a little of what my body needed.

  When I exhaled, the first agonizing sob escaped. The sound slipping out of me seemed tortured even to my own ears, and that only caused the next bawl emerging from me to sound worse. It didn’t take long until I was a wailing, wounded mess with a face covered in tears and snot.

  None of it mattered.

  Not one bit.

  What was left of my hope and my heart had just been demolished into nothingness by the man who had been my everything for as long as I could remember.

  Nothing mattered anymore except getting away, hiding my heart and burying the jagged metaphorical pieces in a place where they could never be touched by anyone again. Sitting on the side of this road and bawling my eyes out wasn’t going to get me safely away from the horror of the memories I was trying to leave behind, either. As a result, I wiped my face off with the sleeve of my thin, cotton jacket and took a deep breath.

  Something inside of me ceased to exist. I felt numb. Dead.

  I had thought he had left me hollow. No. This was worse. To be hollow, you had to have a space that wanted to be filled. I no longer had even that.

  My hopes, my dreams, my love, my fucking emotions all ceased to exist.

  If this morning had been all one could expect from being faithful and believing in something as elusive as love, I would rather be dead inside. After all, someone who didn’t feel couldn’t have their heartbroken, could they?