Tiger Takes
the Big Apple
Also by David P Reiter
For Children
Tiger Tames the Min Min (novel)
Global Cooling (novel)
The Greenhouse Effect (novel)
Bringing Down the Wall (picture book)
Real Guns (picture book)
Poetry
The Snow in Us
Changing House
The Cave After Saltwater Tide
Hemingway in Spain
Letters We Never Sent
Kiss and Tell
Fiction
Primary Instinct
Triangles
Liars and Lovers
Multimedia
The Gallery
Sharpened Knife
Paul and Vincent
My Planets
Rainshadows
Film
Nullarbor Song Cycle
Hemingway in Spain
A Simple Tale
Tiger Takes
the Big Apple
David P Reiter
IP Kidz
an imprint of Interactive Publications
Treetop Studio • 9 Kuhler Court
Carindale, Queensland, Australia 4152
[email protected]
ipoz.biz/IP_Kidz/Kidz.htm
First published by IP Kidz, 2014
© David Reiter, 2014 (text)
© Shane Bevin, Monkeystack, 2014 (illustrations)
All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of the copyright owners and the publisher of this book.
Printed in 12 pt Book Antiqua on 16 pt Noteworthy.
National Library of Australia
Cataloguing-in-Publication entry:
Author: Reiter, David P. (David Philip), 1947-author
Title: Tiger takes the big apple David P Reiter ; Shane Bevin ; Monkeystack (illustrator)
ISBN: 9781922120755 (ebook)
Series: Project Earth-mend ; bk. 4
Target Audience: For primary school age
Subjects: Cats--Juvenile fiction.
Science fiction.
Climatic change--New York (State)--New York--Juvenile fiction.
Other Authors/Contributors: Monkeystack, Shane Bevin, illustrator.
Dewey Number: A823.3
Cover and internal illustrations by Monkeystack
Cover design by Monkeystack
Book design by Anna Bartlett
Contents
in which the Crew receive their next assignment
in which a polar bear skids onside
in which timber wolves start up a start-up
in which the Electrics make a beeline for gold
in which the Crew have to go a bit batty
of waterworks and other water sports
in which dreams are dreamt and Syd gets snatched by a Bald Eagle
in which raccoons give them the key to the city – for a price
in which rats sell out to the only bidder
in which Greenhouse Ginger Cheesecake is on the menu again
in which first peace lines and then battle lines are drawn
in which Project Earth-mend is in the balance
in which Greenhouse Ginger Cheesecake goes inter-stellar
in which the Crew receive
their next assignment
After the Kangaroo had solidified ever so slightly from his normal holographic state to bid the Crew a farewell that Tiger the cat took to be almost fond, if not teary, before fading into the darkness, it was pitch dark at Uluru save for the pin-pricks of light overhead that were stars, and only stars, or so Tiger hoped.
He felt the fur stiffen on the back of his neck. ‘Do you suppose Mick will be back?’ he asked no one in particular, hoping that anyone who had an answer would chime in.
‘Weren’t you listening?’ snapped Tark, the extra-terrestrial from the Planet Griffon disguised as a frog so as not to call too much attention to himself. ‘I already answered that question!’
‘Yes,’ sniffed Tiger. ‘But I hoped if I asked again that I’d like the answer more this time!’
Wanda the Blue-tongue Lizard stuck out her tongue, more to test the night air, than to make fun of Tiger’s twitchy question. ‘It would have been fair enough to ask again,’ she said, ‘if you hadn’t had the first answer less than two minutes ago!’
Number 12, the now-almost-completely-retired-racing-camel, rapped each of his left hooves in turn against its right number to free it from a clog of sand before clearing his throat to speak. ‘While it’s true Tiger just asked the question, he did it at the end of Tiger Tames the Min Min, which for us may have been five minutes ago, but this is a new story entirely, and I believe that it took its author quite some months to write.’
‘You don’t know that,’ piped in Syd the crow. ‘It might end up very much the same story, or no story at all if the writer doesn’t get a move on.’
‘Writer?’ Tark demanded. ‘What writer?’
Number 12 snorted. ‘The one who left us standing here in the cold night air for more than a year now pretending that it was five minutes, while he went off to do... other things.’
‘Alexander’s like that,’ Tiger nodded. ‘When he’s working on one of his feature articles, he forgets to eat sometimes. Which is OK, except when he forgets to feed me.’
‘Well, you’ll have plenty of time to remind him,’ said Tark, ‘when we get back to base.’
‘Oh, goody,’ cried Tiger. ‘You mean we can go home at last?’
‘I reckon we’ve earned some R & R,’ said Tark. ‘Besides, Prince and Eudora will want a full update on Mick and his nasty starships. Before they tell us where we’re going next.’
Number 12 anticipated Tiger’s question. ‘Rest and relaxation – that’s R & R. What I was planning to get lots of, before you detoured me out of retirement!’
‘Count this lizard out!’ snapped Wanda. ‘First you drag us up the east coast of Australia to the pointy Top End of Queensland. Then across the Simpson Desert to Uluru. With just a slight change of pace to plug that burst oil well. Ducking Min Min Lights all the way. I do believe that I’ve served my time!’
‘And done it very well,’ Tark said, pouring it on like thickened cream. ‘Where would we have been without Judge Wanda?’
‘Oh, go on,’ Wanda said, her skin going ever so slightly sunset red despite its stubborn greenish black. ‘Any native creature would have done the same in my place!’
‘You can never take a compliment,’ tittered Syd. ‘But if you’ve got a better offer than saving the Earth and our fellow creatures, Wanda, just say so. I’m sure there are others who’ll gladly take your place!’
Wanda eyed Syd. ‘Once a scavenger, always a scavenger. I suppose I’ll have to see it through – if only to keep you in line.’
Syd winked at Tiger. ‘That’s settled, then. Though Judge Syd could have a nice ring about it!’
‘What about you?’ Tark asked Number 12. ‘Are you game for the next phase of Project Earth-mend?’
Number 12 managed a smile as much as any camel – ex-racing or otherwise – could. ‘My race against the emus brought it all back – the thrill. I can’t see myself moping around a paddock all day, flicking away blowflies day in and day out. Sign me up!’
‘And I’m certainly keen!’ Tiger chimed in. ‘After all, what’s an adventure without a leader?’
‘Excuse me, Earthling,’ Tark snapped, stretching his magic toe. ‘Who’s in charge her
e?’
Tiger gulped, eying Tark’s toe, which was already glowing an eerie green with just a hint of blood red in it. ‘Um, I meant to say deputy leader.’
‘Of course you did,’ Tark said, more kindly, while his toe faded back to its normal frog-like hue. ‘Now we must all teleport back to the Sacred Pool for further instructions.’
‘The Sacred Pool?’ said Number 12. ‘Is that some kind of oasis?’
Wanda laughed. ‘It’s in Canberra, the watering hole for most of Australia’s politicians!’
‘Oh,’ said Number 12, deflated. ‘I’ve never met a politician before. But I hear you can’t trust them as far as you can buck them.’
‘That’s not entirely true,’ said Tiger. ‘The previous Prime Minister was rather fond of Myrtle’s Greenhouse Ginger Cheesecake, so it was a snap to sign him up for Project Earth-mend. He’s still onside, but I don’t know about the one we have now.’
Wanda shook her head. ‘Myrtle will take care of him, or her, if it ever comes to that again. Wait and see!’
‘We won’t have to wait long,’ Tark said, tilting his head toward the sky as if a transmission was coming in. ‘Prince wants us to report back, pronto.’
‘But Canberra’s days away from here,’ sighed Number 12. ‘Even if we keep up a steady trot. And do the politicians even allow camels there?’
‘Of course they do,’ said Wanda, sounding very much like Judge Wanda again. ‘If not, I’ll have the law changed!’
‘T-thanks,’ said Number 12. ‘I suppose I could take a bath in tea-tree oil, or something.’
Tiger had never heard of tea-trees, let alone their oil. It sounded rather disgusting if it had to be licked off afterwards.
‘Walking is so twentieth century,’ Syd said. ‘Even if we went as the crow flies – meaning me – it still would take more than a day to get there.’
‘Have finger, will travel,’ Tark reminded them. ‘Ready for teleportation?’
Tiger always enjoyed their teleportation trips, especially after Tark had adjusted the settings on the Module from hidden to translucent so that they could actually see where they were going, even from the dizzying 50,000 feet or so he kept them at to avoid bumping into airplanes. It didn’t matter if you were a cat of slightly heavier than average build, an aerodynamic crow, a Griffon shaped as a frog, a lizard with no disguise at all, or a camel with no place to bend and fold up your legs, as you hurtled through the atmosphere. Up there, all were equal, just a bundle of cat, camel, lizard, and ET related matter on its way to a pre-defined destination before landing and reconfiguration – in this case, at the Sacred Pool.
Even before they slowed for the touchdown, Tiger could smell Jasmine and see the wavering light of hundreds of candles dotted around the Sacred Pool.
A Welcoming Ceremony: it was good to be home!
There was singing, too. It seemed that Flute, who’d been right-hand frog to Prince in Tark’s absence, had been keen on gospel singing ever since he’d downloaded tracks from the Soweto Gospel Choir on iTunes. Thinking that the ‘Griffon Gospel Experience’ had a good ring to it he decided to audition Members for a small group to perform at special occasions such as when Eudora returned from meetings at Inter-Galactic Command. Since the other frogs were getting a bit bored with hollowing out nap-tunnels for the winter months ahead, or scratching away moss from the boulders around the Sacred Pool, Flute had no shortage of Members lining up to sing. Which was a bit strange since, as Tark had told Tiger more than once, there were no choirs, gospel or otherwise, on Griffon. If Griffs sang at all, it was in the privacy of their home cubicles, between the setting of Griffon’s middle sun and the rising of its third.
So it was that the Crew was greeted by a chorus of “Walking on Sunshine” in perfect five-part harmony, with two male and two female parts, plus Flute singing descant over them all. Number 12 did his best to join in with a hollow but throbbing bass, while Tiger and Wanda danced to the beat. Prince sat on the big boulder at the center of the Pool with his eyes closed, while Eudora perched on her usual branch, with something of a smile, or at least the closest thing to one Tiger imagined a raven should be able to manage.
Moths crisscrossed then hovered over the Pool, transfixed by the singing, which made it easy for the frogs to have a quick snack in between breaths. If there was one thing Tiger regretted about being a cat, it was the nuisance of pads on his paws, which made it difficult for his applause to be heard. Wanda’s attempt wasn’t much better, and Syd didn’t even bother, but Number 12 made a pretty good show of it by thudding his hooves against the nearest rock.
Tark hopped up to the edge of the Pool and gave a low bow to Prince and Eudora.
‘I come with greetings from the Kangaroo,’ he said, ‘who wishes us well with Project Earth-mend.’
‘We will offer rain to Uluru in thanks,’ said Prince, ‘for his help against Mick and the Abell 2218s.
‘But the Kangaroo is a spirit,’ Tiger noted. ‘I doubt that he needs fresh grass to eat.’
‘Point taken, Member Tiger,’ said Eudora. ‘But I’m sure that his brethren – the real kangaroos – will make good use of it.’
‘Speaking of Mick,’ Prince said. ‘Inter-Galactic Command reports that his starships are regrouping somewhere between Neptune and Pluto. The fact that they remain within this solar system is not a good sign. Perhaps they will lick their wounds before returning to finish their assignment – to destroy the Earth, or at least neutralize its human inhabitants.’
Eudora’s red eyes flared. ‘No doubt about that,’ she said. ‘Abell 2218 robots are not programmed for surrender. For them, there are only two possible outcomes – total victory or total defeat.’
‘There must be something we can do to stop them,’ Tiger said.
‘Yes,’ said Wanda. ‘What about Inter-Galactic Command? Can’t they stop Mick and his crew?’
‘Of course,’ said Prince. ‘But it’s all a matter of timing. Inter-Galactic Command is like your United Nations, except on a much larger scale.’
‘Yes,’ said Eudora. ‘Much larger – and grander!’
‘They will have to meet,’ said Tark. ‘And put it to a vote.’
‘A vote?’ squawked Syd. ‘Whether or not to save the Earth! What’s not to save?’
‘You go on like a human,’ Eudora scoffed. ‘They too assume that Earth is the center of the universe. Well, it isn’t! The delegates from Inter-Galactic Command will decide if this minor planet is worth saving if a show-down with the Abell 2218s is likely, which could have far-reaching consequences for stability in this galaxy.’
‘But what about your mission?’ Tiger said. ‘They sent you to save the Earth, didn’t they?’
‘Not to watch it be destroyed!’ grumbled Number 12, pawing at the bank so hard that chucks of mud spilled into the Pool.
‘We have a strong case,’ said Eudora. ‘And I’ll be returning in due course for a meeting to put it to them.’
‘Can I come with you?’ Wanda offered, assuming her Judge Wanda tone.
‘Wanda’s very good at putting a case,’ nodded Tiger.
‘I think not,’ said Tark. ‘I need you to keep the lizards and amphibians here onside.’
‘But thanks for the offer,’ said Eudora, with an uncharacteristic display of warmth.
Wanda narrowed her eyes. ‘We can’t just sit here, waiting for Mick and his crew to come back, guns blazing!’
‘All Mick and his robots need is an excuse,’ said Prince. ‘If the Project fails, he’ll have it.’
Tiger felt his heart fluttering with excitement. ‘So what should we do now? Tell us!’
Prince sighed. ‘If humanity and other living beings here are to have any chance of survival, we must go to the most important place on Earth to convince humans that the time to embrace Project Earth-mend is now.’
The Crew looked at each other and shook their heads.
‘But we’re already in Canberra,’ said Tiger.
‘No,’ said Eudora. ‘You
’ll be going some place much more important than Canberra.’
‘Sydney?’ asked Syd.
‘Haven’t you been paying attention?’ Wanda scoffed at him. ‘We’ve already been to Sydney!’
‘Then where?’ Tiger pleaded.
‘The Big Apple,’ said Prince. ‘I understand that if you can make it there, you can make it anywhere.’
‘Isn’t that a song?’ asked Tiger, trying to hum the lines.
‘The Big Apple?’ Wanda said. ‘But Stanthorpe is in the middle of nowhere!’
It was Eudora and Prince’s turn to shake their heads.
‘Never heard of Stanthorpe,’ said Eudora. ‘We mean the real Big Apple – New York City!’
‘Ah!’ the Crew replied at once.
‘We’re going to New York City!’ said Wanda.
‘New York City!’ said Tiger.
‘New York City!’ said Number 12.
‘Where’s New York City?’ said Syd.
For once the rest of the Crew was grateful to Syd for speaking up. None of them knew exactly, or even generally, where New York City was.
‘Isn’t that where all the gangster movies are made?’ said Tiger, trying to make it seem like less of a question than it actually was.
‘No, that’s Hollywood,’ said Wanda, a bit more certain of where that was – somewhere near Disneyland.
To help the Crew tune into where they were headed, Tark shape-shifted into a young Frank Sinatra, complete with starched shirt, tuxedo and microphone, to sing “New York, New York”.
This time it was the other Members’ turn to applaud, and Tiger marveled at how they managed it with just frog toes. But then again, they weren’t really frogs, were they?
‘Are we sure Elvis won’t be jealous?’ Wanda laughed, referring to Tark’s fondness for imitating The King now and then.
‘While I’m at Inter-Galactic Command,’ Eudora explained, ‘you will make your way to the Big Apple and address the United Nations.’
‘Right,’ said Tiger, doubtfully. ‘But don’t we have to be important to get in there?’
‘At this moment in time,’ Prince said sternly, ‘there’s nothing more important than Project Earth-mend. And you are its ambassadors!’
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