Philip and the Superstition Kid (9781452430423)

by Paulits, John

  “I knew it would be,” said Leon. “Triskai . . . ”

  “Never mind trissytrissy,” said Philip. “You were saying something.”

  “Yeah, what, Leon?” Emery demanded.

  “It’s not trissytrissy,” Leon mumbled resentfully. “Stay here. I’ll go get in trouble. I don’t care.”

  Emery rolled his eyes. “You said that already, Leon. What?”

  “I’ll knock on the front door and go in. I’ll say I’m going upstairs to be with you guys. But I’ll really come into the kitchen and open the back door.”

  “Yeah! Good. That’s good, Leon,” Emery agreed. “You have the worst triskaphebium anyway. What’s a little more bad luck to you?”

  “True, true,” Leon moaned. He slowly rose, and walked around to the front of the house.

  Philip and Emery listened through the screened window on the kitchen door. They heard the doorbell ring. They heard vampire girl babbling something angrily at Leon, but couldn’t make out the words. A few moments later Leon slid out of the kitchen door and closed it behind him.

  “She hates me,” Leon moaned.

  “Doesn’t matter,” Emery said, smiling. “You did the job. Come on, Philip.”

  Emery reached for the doorknob. It wouldn’t move.

  “Leon! What did you do? Did you unlock the door?” Emery cried.

  Leon shrugged. “It opened for me.”

  “Leon,” Philip burst out angrily, “you gotta do something with that little button. Lots of doors open from the inside and not from the outside. Oh, Leon, you boob. We’re right back where we started.”

  Leon gave Philip a hurt look.

  “Go do it again,” ordered Emery. “Go, ring the bell again, and this time do it right.”

  Leon rose and slumped off muttering, “I’m not a boob. . .”

  Philip and Emery waited. They heard the doorbell. This time they could hear what vampire girl was saying because she was shouting.

  “Didn’t I just tell you to get upstairs and stay in this house? Get up there. How’d you get out there again? You got wings or something? You like being outside so much, you want me to put a dress on you again and make you stand on the lawn? Get up there. And don’t let me hear a peep from you the rest of the night.”

  “I think he went upstairs,” Philip whispered.

  “That’s okay. Vampire girl must have been watching him,” Emery whispered back.

  Philip and Emery leaned against the house and waited.

  Five minutes passed and then they heard the rapid clip clop of Leon coming across the kitchen floor. The kitchen door flew open and bounced back, slamming shut.

  “Okay, I’m back,” Leon said triumphantly. Then his face exploded in panic. “The button. I forgot the button. Try it. Try it.”

  Philip grabbed for the doorknob and turned it. Nothing.

  “Leon,” Emery seethed. “How could anybody be as bad luck as you? It’s impossible. You must be from Badluck Planet or something.”

  “The thirteen steps,” Philip reminded Emery.

  Then Emery remembered about Leon charging up the stairs with the dress waving over his head.

  “What thirteen steps? What? What?” Leon asked.

  “You went up thirteen stairs,” Philip said, slumping back against the side of the house.

  “No, no. When Miss Vampire chased me upstairs now, I was careful. I did eleven steps. I did.”

  “Not when you ran up the stairs with your dress on before that,” Emery said gloomily. “I watched. We counted. Thirteen.”

  Leon realized his mistake. “Oh, no. Everything happens to me.” He slumped back against the wall.

  “Now what?” Emery muttered.

  No one had an idea until Philip said, “There’s only one thing to do.”

  Emery looked doubtfully at Philip.

  Philip explained. “If we can’t go in the back door, we’ll have to go in the front door.”

  “Oh, great,” Emery said sarcastically. “She’ll scream at us and then call my mother to say we snuck out. My mother’ll ask me how we got out. Vampire girl will tell her we couldn’t have gone out the front door. I’ll have to say we went out the window. My mother’ll go crazy . . .”

  “All right. All right,” Philip interrupted. “That wasn’t what I meant. Leon.”

  Leon lifted his head and stared gloomily at Philip.

  “Now what do I gotta do?” he asked forlornly.

  “You gotta knock on the front door again.”

  Leon moaned. “She’ll kill me.”

  “Then you have to push vampire girl or kick her or something and get her to chase you. Get her to chase you all over the house. Get her to chase you outside if you can, yeah, outside would be better. When you get her away from the front door, Emery and I will sneak in that way, and she won’t know we were ever outside.”

  “Yeah,” Emery agreed enthusiastically. “You can do that, Leon. Your life’s already a mess.”

  Leon nodded. “It is. It really is.”

  “Go, Leon,” Philip said, giving Leon a shove on the shoulder.

  Leon walked away mumbling, “Why did I have to be the one to get triskaidekaphobia?”

  “Let’s follow him,” Philip said softly. “And be ready to duck inside.”

  Emery nodded.

  The boys hid behind the two rose bushes that grew alongside the doorway to Emery’s house.

  Leon stood in front of the door, staring at it.

  “Knock,” Philip called in a loud whisper. “And do what I told you.”

  Leon nodded, sighed and knocked.

  The door opened and Amanda cried, “What! Not you again. What did I tell you? How did you . . . OW!”

  Leon kicked her hard on the knee and then raced past her into the house.

  “Hey you little . . .”

  Philip and Emery looked at each other, astonished at the language Amanda used as she turned and ran after Leon.

  “Come on, Emery. Now’s our chance.”

  Philip tiptoed up to the door Amanda had failed to close and peeked in. He ducked back quickly and pointed toward the inside.

  Emery could hear Amanda shouting at Leon to, “get back here, you little . . .”

  “She knows a lot of words,” Emery whispered awestruck.

  “Okay,” Philip said after peeking in. He ran to the stairs and went up quickly, Emery right behind him.

  When they reached Emery’s bedroom, they stopped and listened. Below, they could still hear Amanda screaming at Leon. After a few moments it got quiet.

  “There,” said Philip and he brushed his hands together as if cleaning them off. “We’re all finally in.”

  “Good plan, Philip.”

  “When vampire girl throws Leon back in here with us, let’s make sure he doesn’t do another thing that could possibly get us in trouble. I hope when he goes back home, the trisaphobia goes back home with him. Get your mother to clean this room real good after he leaves.”

  They waited. Five minutes. Ten minutes.

  “Where is he?” Emery wondered.

  “We better go down and look.”

  They left the room and casually went downstairs to the kitchen.

  “I don’t hear anything,” Emery said. “I’ll go look.” He walked to the living room.

  Philip followed behind.

  The front door was wide open, and the living room was empty.

  Suddenly, Amanda stomped into the house and slammed the front door angrily behind her.

  “What’s wrong with that cousin of yours?” She glared at Philip.

  “Uh, he’s Emery’s cousin.” Philip threw a thumb Emery’s way.

  “Well?” she demanded, glaring at Emery. “What’s wrong with him?”

  “He’s got trisatrikaphobium,” Emery replied nervously.

  Amanda stared.

  “This whole family’s nuts! Go back upstairs where you belong,” Amanda ordered.

  The boys went slowly toward the stairs.

  �
��Okay she’s gone. Where is he?” Emery whispered once Amanda had disappeared into the living room.

  Philip peeked into the living room. Amanda saw him and pointed up. Philip ducked back and said, “Check the house quick.”

  Leon was nowhere to be found.

  Amanda appeared outside the living room.

  “Up, I said. And if either one of you comes down here before your parents get home . . .” She ran a finger across her neck.

  Philip and Emery jumped and went up the stairs.

  In Emery’s room they sat on the edge of the bed perplexed.

  “Where do you think . . . ?” Emery began.

  Suddenly they heard a little voice come through the window.

  “Hey guys.”

  Philip and Emery looked at one another. Leon!

  They went to the window and looked out. There was Leon sticking his head out from behind the tree.

  Emery raised the screen.

  “What are you doing out there?” Emery called, hoping Amanda had the TV turned up real loud.

  “She didn’t chase me outside long enough,” Leon answered. “And she could have got me ’cause I fell down right over there ’cause of these long shoelaces.”

  “Oh, Leon,” Emery cried. “Now we have to get you back inside, and the vampire girl won’t let us out of this room.”

  “Go knock on the door again,” Philip advised impatiently.

  “Oh, no,” Leon said, waving his hands in front of him. “I’m not doing that anymore.” Leon looked the tree up and down doubtfully. “Maybe I can climb back up.”

  “You can’t even reach the first branch,” Philip told him.

  All three boys knew what had to be done, but no one wanted to say it.

  Finally, Philip said, “Take the sheet off your bed, Emery. We gotta go into the tree and pull him up to the first branch.”

  Emery scowled. “Why don’t we just leave him out there?”

  “Okay with me,” Philip said.

  “No, guys. I can’t stay out here. Come on.”

  Emery stared down at Leon. “When you get back in, you gotta just sit and don’t do nothing. Your stupid phobiobium. . . .”

  “I will. I will,” Leon interrupted. “Just get me back in before vampire girl finds me.”

  Emery went to his bed and angrily pulled off the sheet. He bundled it into as small a ball as he could.

  “Let’s go,” he said to Philip.

  He and Philip carefully crossed the tiny roof.

  “Don’t fall,” Leon called.

  “Thanks for the advice,” Emery called down as he stepped across into the tree and watched Philip.

  Philip made it and together he and Emery lowered the sheet.

  “Now hold on and try to . . . you know . . . walk up the trunk and we’ll pull you,” Philip said.

  “Okay guys,” Leon answered. He grasped the end of the sheet and put his feet against the tree trunk. Philip and Emery weren’t holding the other end of the sheet tight enough, though, and little by little Leon leaned back until he was sticking out from the tree like another branch.

  “Pull tighter,” he called.

  “We’re pulling. We’re pulling,” Emery snapped.

  Little by little Leon got straight enough to begin to climb. Finally, without mishap, he reached the branch Philip and Emery were on, and they pulled him on board.

  “Yuk yuk. I did it. No problem. Pretty lucky, eh?”

  “Yeah,” Emery said heatedly. “You’re the luckiest boy in the whole . . .”

  Suddenly, a scream rang out.

  The boys looked down and there were Philip’s and Emery’s parents. It was Emery’s mother who had screamed.

  “Get down from there,” she cried. “Oh, don’t fall. Don’t move. Get down.”

  “How can we get down if we don’t move?” Emery called back in disgust.

  “I’ll call the police. I’ll call the fire department. They’ll get you down. Don’t move,” Emery’s mother cried. Her husband tried to console her.

  “We don’t need anybody,” Emery called back. He turned to his friends. “Come on. It’s all over and we’re dead.”

  Emery hung down from the branch, and dropped to the ground. Then came Philip and finally Leon.

  The four parents marched the three boys toward the front door, which opened as if by magic. Amanda was standing inside the door, an evil, satisfied smirk on her face.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Mr. Wyatt sent Amanda home after paying her and apologizing for the boys’ behavior. Then Emery had to explain why he, Philip, and Leon were up in a tree holding a bed sheet, when they were supposed to be inside the house for the evening. Mrs. Wyatt went on and on. Did the boys know they had spoiled the night out the two couples had planned? And did the boys know how lucky it was the two couples were still in Philip’s house when Amanda called Mr. Wyatt’s cell phone and reported they were up in a tree?

  The boys had their own ideas about whether that was a lucky thing or not, but after mispronouncing triskaidekaphobia seven times and failing to make totally clear why Leon spent a day in a dark closet wearing an inside-out dress they had bought for three dollars, the boys were sent upstairs, and the grownups made an evening of it in the Wyatts’ living room.

  “Gimme your stupid rabbit’s foot,” Philip ordered Emery. He took both charms and went into the kitchen. He lifted the lid of the trashcan and tossed the rabbits’ feet inside.

  “Good idea,” said Emery.

  The last thing Philip heard as he went dejectedly up the stairs behind his friends was his father’s voice telling Mrs. Wyatt that of course he knew she loved her family very much.

  The next morning Emery phoned Philip.

  “Leon’s going home,” Emery reported.

  “I thought you had him longer.”

  Emery shook his head even though Philip couldn’t see it. “My mother called his mother and told her about shoelaces and trikatrisaphobium and his wearing a dress and sitting on the dining room table with his Egyptian headdress and a bunch of other stuff. His mother’s coming this morning to get him. Want to come over? You allowed?”

  “Yeah. I’ll be right there.”

  When Philip arrived, he joined the other boys in the living room. Leon was sitting on the sofa, his head hanging dejectedly, his traveling bag at his feet, and Emery was watching cartoons.

  Leon looked up at Philip and said, “I gotta go home.”

  Before Philip could answer, the doorbell rang. The three boys turned and saw Emery’s mother answer the door and welcome Leon’s mother. The women stood in the hallway talking, and Emery’s father joined the group.

  The parents spoke in low voices, occasionally throwing sad looks the boys’ way. Philip watched Emery’s mother explain something and Leon’s mother shake her head slowly. Then he saw Leon’s mother say something, and Emery’s mother’s eyes widened, and Philip could easily read her lips.

  “Oh, no,” she said and waved her hands in front of her.

  Leon’s mother pleaded.

  Emery’s mother shook her head some more but didn’t wave her hands as much.

  Emery’s father patted his wife on the back in sympathy.

  Leon’s mother kept talking.

  Emery’s mother gave a deep sigh and shook her head slowly in resignation.

  Leon’s mother walked into the living room. “It’s time to go, Leon,” she said.

  Leon stood up.

  “Did you really do everything . . . ?” She raised her hand as if she didn’t really want to know the answer. “You have an appointment with Dr. Sissaby early Monday morning. Tell him everything.”

  Leon didn’t answer. He just cast a look of despair at Emery and Philip.

  “Come here,” said Leon’s mother to her son. “You two stay there.”

  Philip and Emery watched Leon go into the hallway and stand in front of his mother. Leon’s mother spoke to Leon and pointed at Mrs. Wyatt. The boys could see him look up at her and say, “I’m so
rry.”

  Then Leon’s mother spoke some more, and Leon’s eyes brightened slightly. He nodded and then crossed his heart.

  “Go get your bag,” Leon’s mother said, stepping back from the conference.

  Leon walked back into the living room with a little bit of a spring in his step.

  “Guess what?” he said.

  Philip and Emery took a quick peek at one another.

  “What?” said Emery.

  “I get to come back here in two weeks for a night. In two Fridays. My parents gotta go someplace. Won’t that be great, guys? Maybe we can have some fun then.”

  “Oh, boy,” said Emery limply.

  “Get your Doctor Sissaby to cure your trikaphobia before you come back,” Philip suggested glumly.

  “I just hope my mother lets me out to play before that. If she does, I’ll let you guys know.” He grabbed his bag and took a few steps. Then he turned back. “Put a big circle on your calendar. Two Fridays from now. Yuk yuk.” Then he followed his mother out the front door.

  Emery’s parents disappeared into the kitchen.

  “Let’s go upstairs and put a circle on your calendar,” said Philip, copying Leon’s voice. “Can you draw a skull and crossbones? Yuk yuk.”

  The boys walked up the stairs, taking the first two steps in one jump after pausing at the bottom of the stairs and looking at one another.

  “Maybe his parents will change their mind and stay home that Friday,” Philip hoped.

  “Or maybe the doctor will put him in trikaphobium hospital,” Emery said.

  They entered Emery’s bedroom, and Emery went to his desk.

  “I’ll use a black marker,” he said, laughing slightly.

  “Draw a sad face,” Philip said, also laughing slightly. Now that Leon was gone, their spirits were on the rise.

  Emery took the marker to the Shrek calendar hanging on his wall. Today was a new month so he turned the page from June to July. He reached out to mark the second Friday and stopped.

  “Oh no,” he cried. “Philip, come look.”

  Frowning, Philip walked to Emery’s side.

  Emery reached out his finger and touched the second Friday.

  Philip stared, aghast. “Friday the thirteenth!”

  Emery took a few steps back and slumped onto the side of his bed.