My Everything - Seth & Amber

by Melanie Shawn

  “No,” Amber replied, trying (very possibly unsuccessfully, she admitted) to mold her face into an appropriately grave expression, “Officer Williams said that they're following a few leads, but I don’t know where they’re at with them.”

  “Well,” Katie beamed, her tone one part knowing, one part conspiratorial, “If it’s not good news on that front that's been making you smile like you’re in a Colgate commercial, then I’m guessing your new roommate has something to do with that grin.”

  Amber reached up and pushed her cheeks down in a feeble attempt to stop smiling.

  “I’m trying to control it. Is it that obvious?” she asked Katie, in all seriousness.

  “Well, you know me. I do tend to pick up on these things more than the average Joe. But between you grinning like the Cheshire cat and Seth constantly staring at you with that ridiculously sexy intense thing he has going on, not to mention checking on you every five minutes...well, I don’t think you need to be Sherlock Holmes to put two and two together.”

  “What are we talking about?” Chelle asked as she joined them at the end of the table.

  “Seth and Amber hooking up,” Katie declared happily.

  “No, we weren't talking about that.” Amber shook her head.

  “Yes, we were, and we still are.” Katie smiled at Amber as she reached out to take baby Mya from Chelle.

  “Well, Amber,” Chelle said, handing the baby to Katie, “I'm just so happy to see you smiling, whatever the reason.”

  “Thanks,” Amber said sincerely.

  “And, hey,” Chelle continued slyly, “If it's a reason that might one day lead to you being my sister-in-law, that's just gravy.”

  “Exactly!” Katie chimed in happily.

  Amber felt warmed by their affection. Even though she hated talking about herself, hated talking about emotions, all of that – she couldn't fault them for their happiness at her emotional turnaround, and she certainly couldn't fault them for their concern when she was still feeling low.

  “Thanks you guys. I know you're happy I'm happy. And I'm sorry if I haven’t been myself lately,” Amber said to the girls as she leaned over to see the baby.

  “Stop it,” Chelle said, handing Katie a burp rag, “that’s not what I meant at all. You've been handling all of this amazingly well. Certainly ten times better than I would. You have nothing to apologize for, if anything you should be incredibly proud of yourself. I was just saying that you look really happy now, and that makes me glad.”

  “I agree,” Katie said, her voice pitched high and happy and directed at a gleeful baby Mya, even though her words were meant for Amber, “So does this mean you guys are together?”

  Amber looked up and saw Seth. He was standing with his back to her, across the room, talking to a loosely assembled group that included Grandpa J, his dad, and his brothers. Just looking at the powerful outline of his shoulders straining against the white shirt he wore sent a tingle of excitement racing down her spine.

  He must have sensed that someone was looking at him because he glanced over his shoulder. The second their eyes met, the tingle increased tenfold. She could feel it spreading through her body like melted butter.

  Baby Mya cooed happily and it snapped Amber out of the tingle-inducing stare contest she and Seth were engaged in. She looked back at her friends, who she saw were both looking at her with their eyebrows raised.

  “Right. Well I guess that answered my question,” Katie said with a grin as she looked back down at the baby.

  “What?” Amber asked, a bit dazed. She had to think back to what question Katie had even asked. It took her a moment to come out of her 'lust fog,' but when she did, she set the record straight.

  “No,” Amber lowered her voice to a whisper. She didn’t mind her friends knowing her business but she would rather if the entire room of fifty or so people were spared the details. “He made it very clear last night that we couldn’t be together.”

  “Wait a minute,” Chelle asked, looking confused, “he actually said that?”

  Amber had been hoping to get her friends' take on the situation anyway, so as uncomfortable as talking about herself made her, she was actually glad it had come up. She looked around to make sure that there wasn't anyone in earshot before explaining, “Yes. Do you want me to start from the beginning?”

  “Yes,” they both said in unison, and Katie threw in a 'duh' for good measure.

  “Okay,” she began, “Last night I had gotten an upsetting call from my mom right as I was finishing up your dress. Seth came home in the middle of it with Chinese food.

  “When I got off the phone, he asked if I was okay, did I want to talk about it, did I want to eat. I told him no to all of those things, that he could go ahead, I wanted to finish Chelle’s dress.”

  “Sorry,” Chelle said, chagrined, her face telegraphing the guilt she felt about Amber having to work on her dress.

  Amber shook her head, she didn't want her friend to feel bad. “No, believe me, I have truly appreciated the distraction of the wedding and making the dresses. It’s been very therapeutic for me. Some people drink, some people run, some people go to see professionals shrinks. I design and sew. It’s my therapy.”

  “Yeah, yeah, back to the good stuff,” Katie said, looking around to make sure no one would interrupt them. If there was one thing Katie loved, it was juicy gossip – the juicer, the better.

  “Right. So he goes in his room. I think he’s in there for the night, so I turn up my oldies station on Pandora, and I'm sewing away, getting lost in it, trying to melt my troubles away and all that.

  “Then, when I finish sewing, he comes out of his room looking...” Amber held up her hands, “Well, honestly, there are just no words to describe how insanely sexy he looked.

  “He looks at me, intense – of course – and asks again if I want to talk, if I want to eat, I say no. Then he asks me if I want to dance.”

  “Awwwwww,” both girls cried in unison, and Katie added, “That’s so romantic.”

  “Right,” Amber said excitedly. Then, seeing that several people were starting to migrate closer, she began to talk faster so that she could get the entire story out and get her friends' perspectives, “Okay, summing up. Then I ask him if he’s bringing a date to the wedding. He says no and asks me if I am. I say I’m not, and that I would rather be there with him. He says,” she dropped her voice to mimic his, “'Amber, we can’t be together.' I say, so you want me to bring a date, then? He immediately says no.”

  “Did you ask him why he said you can’t be together?” Katie asked breathlessly, then, looking up, her eyes grew wide.

  “No. She didn’t.” Amber heard Seth’s deep voice from a few inches behind her.

  Oops. Busted.

  Katie immediately turned all her attention to baby Mya and Chelle suddenly became very interested in the contents of Mya’s diaper bag.

  Chickens!

  Amber felt exactly like she had when she was in high school and she had written in a note that she liked a boy and then it had accidentally been passed to him. She turned her head, smiling, hoping Seth wasn’t mad that he had been the star attraction in their gossip fest.

  When her eyes met Seth’s, she could tell he wasn’t upset. In fact, he looked like he thought the whole thing was funny.

  “What did I tell you about sneaking up on me?” she crossed her arms, pretending to be irritated.

  His mouth twitched in amusement, “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. I’m surrounded by my friends, who are like my family.” She smiled up at him, then reached out and touched his arm. “You don’t have to keep checking up on me. Honestly. Enjoy yourself.”

  His eyes flashed with a heat that she felt all the way to her core. She knew he had said they couldn’t be together. She knew that they both agreed that what had happened the night before was not going to happen again. But, damn - Amber knew all the signs that said someone was just-not-that-into-you, and Seth did not display any of those.r />
  Quite the opposite, in fact.

  She knew that Katie was right, she saw it now. Seth did look at her the way Jason looked at Katie. Heck, for that matter, he looked at her the way Riley looked at Chelle, the way Bobby looked at Sophie, and the way Alex looked at Jamie. He looked at her like a man in love.

  Amber had to believe that he could work through whatever was holding him back from being with her, from being happy.

  “Okay, but come and get me if you need me,” he said, his tone serious.

  Amber nodded.

  When he walked away, Katie leaned up, whispering, “Umm, you guys are totally together.”

  Amber laughed as she turned to her friends, “Right?! Now hand over miss Mya, you baby hog!”

  “Fine,” Katie said begrudgingly, and then added, “You get her for five minutes. Your time starts now.”

  “Seriously, Katie, why don’t you have one of your own? You know you want one,” Chelle said in a sing-song voice.

  “No. I’m good. I’ll just share yours,” Katie said firmly.

  As Amber reached for baby Mya, sitting and talking with her friends after spending an amazing night with the man she loved, she was filled with happiness and gratitude. Sure, life might not be perfect, but she had a lot to be thankful for.

  --- ~ ---

  “So I hear you’re workin’ with Cameron over at Titan,” The Colonel said as he and Seth stepped out onto the enclosed patio of The Grill.

  “Yes, sir,” Seth confirmed.

  “Now, your dad said something about the possibility of you going into law enforcement. Is that still the plan?” The Colonel asked as they sat at one of the tables.

  The Colonel had asked Seth to accompany him out here so they could ‘catch up,’ but by no means did Seth believe this was a casual conversation. Obviously, The Colonel had something he wanted to talk about with Seth. Normally, Seth would tell whomever it was to get to the point. But this was The Colonel, so he just waited.

  “I’m thinking about staying at Titan,” Seth answered honestly. Cam had given him his business proposal for Elite Security and Seth had been impressed.

  He also enjoyed working with Cam. His friend helped him remember who he was. Who he really was. Before.

  “Now son, I think that’s a good idea.” The Colonel rested his elbows on the table and leaned forward, “You know, when I came back from Germany after WWII, I was offered a job as a sheriff's deputy. It was good pay, honest work, and we already had two little mouths to feed. I didn’t want to take it, but I decided it was the right thing to do, for my family.

  “When I told my Marie about it, she didn't say a word, just shook her head no. I told her that I had already made my decision. She stared at me for a few minutes and then told me that I needed to change my decision, because I had seen enough death for one lifetime.

  “My Marie was a smart lady. She knew that I had changed in the war. She knew that I had seen things and done things that had changed me. Now, she never asked me about it. But I know she knew.

  “And she never pushed. She gave me time to find my way back to myself. Which I did. It took me a good long while, and I did try to find myself at the bottom of a Jack Daniel’s bottle for a time there.

  “But my Marie, she stayed by my side. She never gave up on me, and she kicked me in the rear when I needed it. I made my way back because I had the love of a good woman.”

  Seth nodded his head. He felt himself suddenly wishing he would have known Marie. The Colonel hadn’t moved to Harper’s Crossing until after she had passed.

  “Now, I hear that Amber is staying over at your place,” The Colonel said sternly.

  “Yes, sir, she is.” Seth stared him straight in the eye. If that’s what The Colonel had a problem with, then this would be the first time Seth had ever known the man to be wrong. Seth's home was exactly where she needed to be. Amber’s safety was not negotiable.

  “Good,” The Colonel said.

  That answer shocked Seth.

  “You know, I spent a lot of time with that young lady after her brother passed. Poor thing. Just about broke my heart seeing her cry like that. But she’s a strong one. She got her store together and, boy, all the ladies sure do love going there.

  “She’s been there for her mama through all of her problems. You see what I'm getting at?”

  “I think so, sir,” Seth replied solemnly.

  Undeterred, The Colonel pressed on, “She’s a good woman, and you don’t throw away the love of a good woman, even if it's because you feel like you don't deserve it. Nope. You stand up and be a man worthy of her.” The Colonel’s eyes narrowed, “You hear me, son?”

  “Yes, sir,” Seth replied, a little shaken that The Colonel had so clearly and accurately been able to see into his soul.

  The Colonel stared at Seth for a moment, then nodded his head and stood up. “Well, alright, then.”

  As they made their way back inside, Seth was trying to process what The Colonel had just said. He respected him more than any other man he knew, besides his father. When he talked, Seth listened.

  Could he really be a man worthy of Amber? Was it possible? Could he find his way back to himself? Questions swarmed inside his head as he and The Colonel walked into the banquet hall. Seth scanned the large room, but didn’t see Amber.

  Alex came over and slapped Seth on the shoulder, “You set him straight, Colonel?”

  Seth narrowed his eyes. Alex thought he was so funny.

  “I can still bop you on the head, young man,” The Colonel said to Alex, demonstrating said 'bopping' motion with his ring finger.

  And they all knew he could. And they all knew it hurt like hell.

  Alex put up his hands in surrender. “Sorry, Colonel!”

  The Colonel shook his head, smiling as he walked away. Seth once again looked around and didn’t see Amber anywhere.

  “Man, I’m getting married tomorrow,” Alex said, his voice tinged with awe.

  “You sure you’re ready for this?” Seth knew the answer, but he wanted to make sure one last time.

  “I’ve never been so ready for anything in my life,” Alex said enthusiastically as he looked over at his bride-to-be, who was sitting at a table with Joey asleep on her lap. “Honestly, I can’t imagine my life without her and Joey in it. They're the best thing that's ever happened to me.”

  “I’m happy for you,” Seth said sincerely.

  “What about you? How are things going with Amber?” Alex asked.

  Before he had a chance to answer, Katie came in the side door and rushed up to Seth. “There you are! Amber was looking for you.”

  “What’s wrong?” Seth chest tightened.

  “She got a call that her mom was in the hospital. She wanted me to tell you she left,” Katie said, a little out of breath from her quick trip across the expansive room.

  “She went by herself?” Seth asked, his voice hardening.

  “It happened so fast,” Katie’s hands flew up as she explained, “One minute, we were all talking. Then she got the phone call and excused herself. The next thing I knew, she was grabbing her purse and saying she had to go! I walked with her out to the car, that's how I know that her mom is at Harper’s Community, and that she wanted me to tell you when you came back. Then I went out looking for you – this literally just happened...”

  Seth was out the door before she finished her sentence. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and called Amber. She didn’t answer. He tried again. No answer. He shoved aside the panic and an eerie calm and sense of purpose overtook him. He was in Mission Mode.

  He pressed numbers on the phone again, trying a different tactic.

  “Harper’s Community Hospital, how can I direct your call?”

  “I was calling to check on the status of a patient. Her name is Susan Webb.”

  “Are you family?”

  “No.”

  “I’m sorry, sir. I can’t give out any information on the patient.”

  “Can you put m
e through to her room?” Maybe Amber would be there.

  “No, I’m afraid that’s not possible.”

  “Why not?”

  “Sir, I can’t give you any information.”

  Seth remained calm, even though he was certainly not used to being denied when he used his Mission Mode tone of voice. Panic clouds judgment, and prevents effective thinking. That wasn't just a line he gave to the women in the self-defense class – it was how he operated, it was a basic tactic.

  “Can I please speak to Vickey or Thelma?”

  “One moment, sir.”

  “This is Vickey, can I help you?”

  “Vickey, this is Seth Sloan.”

  “Hey Seth, how you doing?”

  “I need some information on a patient. Susan Webb. She's Amber’s mom and I just found out she was admitted.”

  “Hold on one sec.” He waited as he heard typing. “Oh, Sweetie, it looks like she's on an involuntary 72 hour psych hold. Attempted suicide.”

  Shit.

  “Have you seen Amber there?” Seth needed to make sure Amber was okay. She shouldn’t be alone when she found out, if she hadn't already.

  “No, but that ward's not on my floor.”

  “If you see her can you tell her to call me?”

  “Sure thing, Sweetie. See you at the wedding.”

  As he hung up with Vickey, he tried to call Amber one more time. No answer.

  Shit.

  Chapter Twenty-five

  Amber’s knuckles were white as her fingers wrapped tightly around the steering wheel. She forced herself to breathe in through her nose and out through her mouth, slowly, deliberately. Flashes of headlights zoomed past her in a blur as she raced down Main Street. Her foot was heavy on the gas pedal. She knew she should maintain a safe speed but she needed to get to the hospital.

  This was all her fault. What had she been thinking giving her mom that money? Amber knew it wasn’t a coincidence that her mom had overdosed less than twenty-four hours after that five hundred dollars had been deposited in her account.

  Amber had been to Al-Anon. One of the first things they had taught her was that she was an enabler. Until Amber had gone to those meetings, she had never recognized that in herself.