Denounced (Exalted Trilogy: Book 2)

by Elizabeth, Tara

  The medical citizen continues working without further pause. She checks the injuries that I received from the Third Trial. The woman never says anything about them, so they must be healing okay. When she’s finished inspecting me, she moves over to a drawer and pulls out a large rubber band, a vial, and a needle for extracting my blood . . . the blood that’s going to give me away if it’s not swapped out.

  After putting on latex gloves, she motions for me to sit in the chair next to her desk. She ties the rubber band around my bicep and instructs, “Pump your fist.” I follow her directions, and pump my fist in and out. “Good. Stop now.” I stop, and when she bends over me to jab me with the needle, I shut my eyes.

  There’s a loud pop and my bicep stings. My eyes fly open and my body tenses. I’m ready to defend myself from the attack on my arm.

  The woman starts laughing hysterically. “Had you going there, didn’t I?” she says. Then she slaps me on the arm in a friendly gesture.

  “What?” I ask. To say that I’m shocked is an understatement. I’m practically frozen in a state of disbelief.

  “I said; I had you going there, didn’t I?” She repeats herself while shaking her head. Her eyes are no longer empty. In fact, they seem to light up her entire face in the same way Val’s smile lights up hers. She’s joyful and there’s an airy quality to her.

  I manage to get out, “I don’t understand what’s happening.”

  “Your blood work has been taken care of. I talked to Ryker. We’re using one of the other female trainees’ blood samples. I told her it was routine now. You Exalted are so gullible.” She chuckles at her joke. I wasn’t expecting the medical citizen Ryker referred to, to be the same one giving me my physical.

  My entire body relaxes at the sound of her laugh. I realize that maybe I can really trust Ryker. Maybe.

  “What do you know about Ryker?” I ask the woman who’s about a year or two older than me.

  She flops down in her chair and crosses her feet at the ankles. “Well,” she says, “he approached me one morning during his physical. He told me about the pills we take—that they were making us numb. I could never come up with a scientific reason for why the Ambassadors were so different than us. That’s how Ryker convinced me. He said that I would become a better medical citizen and find the reason for why the Ambassadors were different if I stopped taking the pills. I believed him. It was easy for me to believe him.” She picks up an ink pen and twirls it between her fingers. “Apparently when we come off of the Pump, it’s a lot easier than when the Exalted do. We don’t get the severe side effects that you do. We only get a bad headache for a day or two.”

  The woman scrunches up her eyebrows. “Sorry, you asked about Ryker though. I don’t really know much about him outside of talking to him here. He helped me learn about emotions. He’s nice. Handsome.” She says the last word with a hungry growl.

  I know my face is turning red because I can feel it heating up. I feel . . . jealous? I’ve never felt this emotion before. I don’t like it.

  The woman notices me becoming uncomfortable because of her remark. She quickly adds, “He helped my friend, Sean, as well. Ryker told me I could find another citizen like me that worked in landscaping. I found Sean and he told me that Ryker helped him with all the same things. We are the only two citizens that live in the Republic that are off the Pump—that we know of.”

  I feel like opening up to this girl for some reason—maybe it’s her friendly eyes, or maybe it’s that we are both feeling beings trapped in an emotionally sterile world. I say to her, “Ryker holds a lot of lives in his hands. And soon, so will I. It’s a big responsibility that we are taking on, but you don’t have to help. You shouldn’t help. You could get in serious trouble for what you’re doing for us.”

  The woman smiles at me, and then a look of pity crosses her face. She leans forward to share some piece of advice with me that she thinks will help. “You and Ryker cannot take on an entire government by yourselves. I want to help, and at the end of the day, it’s my choice to do so. That’s what we’re fighting for, isn’t it—choice?” I nod. “You know, Mena, Dr. Fredericks was right when he picked you out of your peers—you blend in with us. You’ll blend in with the Ambassadors as well. The two of you will find a way to stop this, and we will be here to help you do it.” She leans back, waiting for my reaction.

  She’s right. I have to find a way. I will find a way to help everyone.

  I nod. “I will.”

  “Great!” The woman jumps out of her chair and slaps me on the arm again. Once more, she’s all-smiles. “Well, I didn’t even introduce myself. I’m Jenna. It’s so nice to finally meet you. We’re going to be great friends!”

  This is awkward. She’s so happy and excited, but she doesn’t know what to do with her body. It’s like she wants to hug me, but she’s too scared of me. It’s programmed into citizens’ brains to avoid us, so I can understand why she’s having trouble deciding what to do.

  I offer her my hand, which she pumps enthusiastically. “Well, you already know that I’m Mena. It’s nice to meet you . . . I mean, um . . . thank you for your help with the blood stuff. I really appreciate it.” I start to side step my way toward the door.

  “No problem. See you next week,” she says as she waves goodbye to me.

  When I open the door, her face goes blank and her eyes become vacant. The sudden change in her expression startles me. No, actually, it’s extremely unsettling how good of an actor she is. I shut the door behind me.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Ryker is waiting for me outside of Dr. Fredericks’ office. “Morning,” he grunts. “Let’s head out.” He doesn’t wait for me to answer; he just starts walking.

  As I follow him down the hall, I whisper to him, “I want to see Lily.”

  “That’s where we’re going. Just keep quiet. Act like you know where you’re going.”

  We descend the stairs in silence, and my heart beats faster with each step. I want to see her. I need to see that she’s okay. Thoughts of her wellbeing have been clawing at my mind since the Pump started wearing off. Fear for her in this place consumes me. What if someone sees her? What if they hear her? Her life would be over in an instant.

  We leave the Capitol building and cross the courtyard. Ryker pulls open the door to the building where the banquets are held. Suddenly remembering that Dr. Fredericks lives on the top floor of this building, I become even more nervous. Is Ryker turning me in? No, he would never do that. But why this building? Surely he can’t live here. I don’t question him like I want to. He instructed me to act like I knew where I was going. That’s what I’m going to do.

  We take the elevator—not the stairs—to the second floor. I’ve never been in an elevator before. My partner leans forward and presses a button on the wall. “Thought you’d like to see what it’s like to ride in an elevator. We are allowed to use them in this building.”

  My stomach jolts up and then down as the metal box sets off into motion. “Whoa,” I utter as I place my hand against the smooth wall. This is so unnatural. Once we reach Ryker’s desired floor, a bell dings and the double doors slide open. There’s a gray hallway lined with gray doors. It looks exactly like our dorms. I try to remain calm as we walk down the hallway.

  When a first place Exalted emerges from one of the gray doors, I act like I know exactly where we are going, just like Ryker said. He’s an extra-large man with black hair and dark blue eyes. He only nods when he passes us. We both nod in return and continue down the hallway. Ryker stops in front of the second to last door on the left. He turns the knob and enters the apartment. I follow, my heart beating out of my chest.

  When the door shuts behind me, a tiny head pokes up from behind a couch. Blonde curls are sticking out all over the young girl’s head. “Lily!” I rush forward.

  She hops off the couch and runs around to meet me. “Mena!” she squeals in delight. I scoop her up in my arms and hold her to my chest. I breathe her hair in. It smells
so clean. Then I hold her back away from me, so I can get a good look at her. She looks healthy, her cheeks are pink, and she has on new clothes. Ryker has done more for her in these few days than I was able to do in nearly a week.

  I turn to him and mouth the words, “Thank you.”

  Lily smiles as she looks up at me. “Ryker told me you weren’t really leaving me. He said that I would see you again,” she says, her voice tiny and innocent.

  But I did really leave her. I did . . . A tear rolls down my cheek as I smile back at her. I hug her tightly as I say, “I’m so sorry, Lily.”

  Ryker is standing close by, quietly watching our exchange. He gives us the time we need to get reacquainted. Eventually, Lily lets go of me and runs back to the couch. She jumps on a cushion and giggles. My entire body stiffens as I glance around the barren, cold living space. I turn to Ryker. “What does she do all day?” I ask him, concern lacing each word.

  “I have some picture books that I picked up while on the outside.” Ryker points to the table that has about five or six tattered books scattered across it. “She seems to like them,” he adds. “She’s been keeping herself pretty busy with those. I told her to stay away from the windows—and to be quiet. It’s going okay so far. She listens well.”

  Lily looks up from a book with an image of a beautiful, white swan. “Ryker is teaching me to read,” she says with a sweet smile.

  I look over to him. “Is that true?” I ask.

  His cheeks flush red. I can’t believe Ryker is blushing. It’s nice to see such a strong man get broken down by a little girl.

  “Uh, yeah,” he mumbles, while rubbing the back of his hand against the stubble on his jaw. “I mean, just a little at night before bed. She learns quickly.” He turns away and walks toward a small window. Ryker sits down in a gray chair that looks onto the Republic’s grounds. He’s trying to ignore the mixed emotions that are fighting a silent battle in the air between us.

  I move to sit beside Lily, attempting to ignore them myself. As she recites a made-up story for one of the picture books, I struggle to get thoughts of Ryker out of my head. Finding out things like this—being kind to Lily—isn’t helping me to become indifferent to him.

  ***

  After spending about an hour sitting and reading with Lily, I know that we have to leave for patrol—or should I say, to hunt down innocent people to butcher. But I want to hold onto this serene time, time when I don’t have to obey the Republic, when I don’t have to pretend to be someone I’m not.

  I watch the clouds drift by beyond the window. The sky is blue—the color of Ethan’s eyes. I’ve always liked that color. I try to think about my future United. I need to keep him in the forefront of my thoughts. What would Ethan do if he had my job? Would he be able to kill innocent people for Dr. Fredericks?

  I’m sad that I don’t know the answer to that. I hope that he couldn’t do such a thing.

  “It’s time to go,” Ryker breaks me out of my thoughts and informs me of the inevitable. He stands and checks his knife belt as he waits for me. His hands move assuredly as he counts each blade. I don’t bother with mine. I know they are all there. I counted them before I left my dorm room. I’m sure this is also part of Ryker’s morning routine, so he must just be giving me a little privacy with Lily again.

  After giving Lily a quick hug and a brief goodbye, we leave the child alone in the cold room. It’s hard to leave her there. But we have no choice. After following my partner down the empty hall, he asks, “Stairs or elevator?”

  “Stairs!” I’m too quick to reply. He smirks as he shoves open the door to the stairwell. We head down, and I learn that there is access to the underground transportation storage from Ryker’s apartment building. This must be how he was able to sneak Lily in.

  As we walk toward the 4-wheeler that we previously took out, I ask him, “So other Exalted live in that building besides you? I thought we all lived in the dorms.”

  “Not many of us live there. Just the first place Exalted that work directly for Dr. Fredericks,” Ryker answers. He pulls the vehicle’s key from his pocket.

  “Do you think Ethan and I will live there one day as well?” I ask, though from the look on Ryker’s face, I probably should’ve left Ethan out of that question.

  Ryker shrugs and he climbs onto the 4-wheeler. “Maybe,” he mumbles, his voice strained and his body tense.

  He avoids my eyes as I move around him. I climb on behind him, holding onto the sides of the seats as he starts the engine and takes off down the long tunnel. Once again, I enjoy the exhilaration of the speed. I lean forward catching the wind in my face. It also brings Ryker’s scent with it; sweat and rain, just as I remember it.

  Is it bad to seek happiness when there are horrible things happening around us? Am I betraying Ethan, my intended United, by letting go for a moment with Ryker—just a moment? My life is about more than me right now, and I know that . . . but is it unthinkable to find enjoyment in something or someone amidst peril? Am I less of an Exalted? Am I less of a strong, young woman?

  I don’t know the answers to these questions. I suppose I just have to do the best that I can.

  I breathe the scent of Ryker in and smile—just for a moment.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  After a long day of scouting and avoiding each other as much as possible, I leave Ryker. I make my way to the trainee cafeteria for a dinner that my empty stomach needs badly. My partner and I didn’t find any new settlements to purge, which I am grateful for. We spent a lot of time just riding. The only time we spoke was when we ate lunch. Ryker came up with a plan to get me into the Ambassadors’ library. We are set to put the plan into action in two days.

  Two days.

  Recently, I feel like my life is only measured in days. Weeks ago, it was days until the Trials. They have come and gone. It is days until I am United with Ethan and presented with my first place armband. It is only two days until I pose as an Ambassador. If I get caught, the consequences will be deadly . . .

  Ethan barely looks up at me as I sit down across from him at the table. “Hello,” I greet everyone.

  Val is the only one to answer. “Hello,” she mirrors my salutation. Kwan and Trudi are sitting with us as well, each of them eating silently.

  “Did something happen today?” I ask with hesitancy, while I wonder if I really want to know what’s going on. Did I fail my blood test? Did Ryker and the medical citizen, Jenna, get caught helping me?

  Val answers while turning away from the table next to us, where Kinah is sitting. She lowers her voice and says, “Az was pronounced dead. He failed his Third Trial and his name is taboo now. We can’t speak about him again. Same with Adira.”

  I simply nod. Though Az was not my favorite person, I never wished death on him or Adira. This knowledge makes me sad. It also makes me want to run over to Dr. Fredericks’ office and knock him out of his leather chair. This isn’t right. Why do we have to lose people? And it’s not just Exalted during the Third Trial; it’s citizens as well. They’re taken all the time—plucked out of the fields and . . . and then I don’t know what happens to them. Well, I know that some are taken by Ryker. But what about the others? That’s another good question for my partner; what happens to the citizens when someone other than him takes them? Do marauders kill them, use them as slaves, or whisk them away to places like Toledo Lake?

  Once again, Ethan asks me to join him for a walk outside. We walk along the stonewall that surrounds the Republic. A couple of citizens turn and head in another direction, as we get closer to them. I find that I now look at each of them, when I pass them. Perhaps I’ll see Jenna or her male friend she spoke of, Sean. The citizens are no longer blank faces that we protect—they are individuals that if given the chance, would have unique personalities and an array of emotions.

  “I’ve been worried about you,” Ethan admits, while never looking at me. He keeps his hand on his knife belt and his focus straight ahead.

  “Um, thanks,” I mu
mble, not sure where this is headed.

  “Are you handling working for Dr. Fredericks okay? I know you despise him.”

  “Yes. It’s been interesting. What about you? Is there anything new at the North Gate?” I try to change the subject from me to him. Plus, I really do want to know how he is.

  He answers, still never looking at me, “Well, I’ve been getting to join the shooters in the watchtower. I think they may train me to shoot so I can rotate in every once in a while.”

  “Are you okay with that?” I ask him because Exalted, as a general rule, don’t use guns. They are seen as weapons for the weak. Only the guards in the four watchtowers use them.

  “Yes, I’m okay with it. It’s an honor to be one of the few chosen for that job. It’s also more interesting than patrolling the grounds. I get to see a lot more from up there.” Finally, he looks at me. It’s not a good look. “Do you want to tell me what you’ve been doing, yet?”

  An audible gulp escapes my dry throat. “No, why?” I ask, trying to sound casual.

  “I saw you leaving the Republic, you know. That was you, wasn’t it?” he states it as fact, even though it was in the form of a question. I can tell Ethan is trying to control his temper. His hands are gripping his knife handles with too much pressure for it to be a non-accusatory question.

  “Yes, it was me,” I admit to him. Maybe he’s right. We are going to be United soon. We’ll be sharing our entire lives. I can share this with him . . . But I can’t tell him about Ryker. He’ll turn him into Dr. Fredericks. I don’t doubt that for a second.

  “Who were you with?” he asks next.

  “My new partner,” I answer, making sure I don’t show my deception on my face.

  “His name?”

  His name? “Uh, you won’t know him. He’s older than us.”