Living Like A Vampire

by Jacky Dahlhaus

  At 2:30 a.m. I woke Charlie, and he took the next shift. When I got into the big bedroom, I found Sue had completely taken over the double bed in her sleep.

  My, girl, you’ve got long arms and legs.

  I didn’t want to wake her, so I grabbed my pajamas and decided to sleep on the top bunk. As I tiptoed into Charlie’s room, I heard him flush the toilet across the living room. Fortunately, it hadn’t taken much to wake him. After I closed the door, I got into my pajamas, climbed up the steep ladder, and slid under the blanket. At that moment I was so glad we had taken the four-person cabin. I was asleep in no time.

  Passing Time in the Cabin

  Long after the sun was up, I was woken by Sue shouting ‘Breakfast is ready!’ in her cheery voice. I yawned, rubbed my eyes and sat up. I hit my head on the ceiling and fell back onto the bed again.

  Ouch! Who dropped the ceiling?

  I opened my eyes and realized I was on the top bunk. When I opened the mini-curtain of the little window above the little headboard, I had to blink a few times against the rays of sunshine warming my face.

  “Guys, breakfast is getting cold!” Sue yelled again.

  “Yeah, yeah, hold your horses. I’m coming.” I climbed down the ladder of the bunk bed.

  “Good morning, legs,” Charlie said from the bottom bunk bed.

  I looked down and realized that the pajama shirt I was wearing only just covered my panties.

  Oops.

  “Good morning to you too, Smu…dge,” I stuttered as I changed the word mid-syllable.

  “Hey, I’m not a little, blue… blurred mark?”

  “True, but I’m not fully awake yet, so everything’s still very blurry.” I grinned, glad I found an explanation for my sudden change of word choice. I knew he didn’t like people making remarks about his short stature, so he would probably not appreciate me liking him to a small, fictional, blue character. I was embarrassed the word had come up in my mind in the first place.

  I picked up the clothes I’d left on the floor when I’d gotten undressed and nearly stuck my bum in Charlie’s face as I bent over. It was a very tiny room.

  I know you noticed that too, Charlie.

  I hurried to the other bedroom to get dressed. Sue noticed me slipping from Charlie’s bedroom into the other. She raised an eyebrow but didn’t make a comment.

  Please don’t think what I think you’re thinking.

  Through the gap of the bedroom door, I saw Charlie walk into the living room, still dressed in his pajamas.

  “Good morning, Charlie,” I heard Sue say.

  “It certainly is a good morning, Sue,” he replied, and I could just imagine his smug face with that voice.

  “Oh, and why’s that?” From Sue’s voice, I knew she was as eager as I was to hear Charlie’s answer. I paused getting my pants up not to miss it.

  “Because I rarely wake up with a woman on top of me,” he beamed.

  The cheeky bugger.

  I grabbed a pillow from the bed and hopped into the living room, holding on to my jeans as I did.

  “In the top bunk, Sue. I was in the top bunk,” and I threw the pillow at Charlie, who was laughing his head off.

  Sue squinted at us at first but then smiled and told us to sit down at the table as the breakfast she had cooked for us was getting cold. I hoisted up my pants properly while Charlie picked up the pillow and threw it back on the big bed before we all sat down for breakfast.

  I was so glad Sue didn’t make one of her Mississippi meals. Sue’s cuisine differed greatly from what I was raised with. My mother’s cooking had been extremely bland, to keep Dad happy. Sue’s dishes included lots of things I’d never even heard of. Words like gumbo, boudin, and tasso were all new to me, and Sue had taken it upon herself to introduce me to each and every single one of them. I found none suitable for breakfast and was glad she had served us scrambled eggs.

  We decided to stay inside, but after a few card games, we were rather bored. None of us had thought of bringing a book or any other game.

  “We could play strip poker,” Charlie suggested. He wiggled his eyebrows.

  “In your dreams,” Sue muttered without even looking at him.

  “Yeah, go play with yourself on your bunk bed with the door shut please,” I added. Sue high-fived me.

  Charlie pretended to be hurt but didn’t make too much of a fuss over it. I didn’t think he’d really expected us to say yes to the game. The next suggestion he came up with was to play ‘Truth or Dare.’ As we were really, really bored, Sue and I agreed. How bad could it be?

  Charlie immediately stood up and took three cans of beer out of the refrigerator. “Okay, as I was the one that came up with the idea, I’ll start with the first question,” he said.

  I took the can Charlie offered me, feeling like a queen being waited on as I occupied the whole of the two-seater with my tiny frame.

  Interesting concept, drinking beer before lunch, and probably not a good one while playing ‘Truth or Dare,’ but what the heck.

  Charlie walked around the couch, handed the second can to Sue, and sat down again.

  “You want a glass?” I asked Sue.

  “No, it’s okay. I’m happy to drink from the can,” she said, opening her can.

  “Good, because I wasn’t going to get you one,” I said as I popped mine open.

  Sue, quick as a dart, grabbed behind her and threw one of the little cushions at me. I caught it before it hit my can and immediately threw it back at her. She caught it too and put it back behind her back before sticking her tongue out to me.

  “Okay, serious stuff now, girls. Truth or dare, Kate?” Charlie leaned forward, seated on the edge of his chair.

  I had little experience with this game but thought the first questions were normally harmless. “Truth,” I dared him.

  “You’re brave, woman,” Sue said.

  Charlie built up the tension by being silent before he asked his question. I had to admit I began thinking Sue was right as Charlie’s stare intensified.

  “What’s your favorite color?” he asked.

  Phew!

  I let go of my breath and relaxed.

  “Oh my god, I thought you were going to ask me for my bank card details for a second.” Sue laughed.

  “The answer’s easy, blue.” It had always been my favorite color, so I didn’t even have to think about it. I turned to Sue to ask her my question, and just before my eyes left Charlie, I saw this peculiar look on his face. I paid no attention to it as I had to think of a question for Sue.

  “My turn,” I said, “Truth or dare?”

  “Truth,” she said, “but remember I have access to your toothbrush.”

  What in heaven’s name could she do to my toothbrush? Forget it, I don’t think I wanna know.

  “Okay… Who was your first love?”

  “Right,” Sue said, positioning herself on the chair as if she were going to tell her life’s story. “His name was Ben and he was in my 6th grade…”

  Charlie choked on his beer.

  “You did it in 6th grade?” he blurted out, spilling beer all over.

  “No! Of course not,” Sue said. “I was in love with him. That was the question, wasn’t it?” she asked, turning to me for help. She held the beer can to one of her cheeks to calm down her blush.

  “Yes, that was my question, Sue. And you, mister,” I said while pointing at Charlie, “have a dirty mind.”

  “That’s what you get when you wake up with a woman on top of you,” he said, focusing on his attempt to wipe up his spilled beer.

  The cheeky bugger. He’s still thinking about my legs and bum.

  “Smudge!” I threw a couch cushion at him, missing him by a long shot.

  At that, Charlie’s face became serious.

  “That’s it!” He set his can of beer on the coffee table, stood up, and made straight for me. Maybe I’d gone too far this time. When he reached me, however, he had a huge grin on his face and started to tickle me. �
��Don’t call me Smudge!” he yelled, “Surrender or die!”

  Over my dead body was I going to surrender. Instead, I kept calling him Smudge again and again. The torment increased. He kept asking me to surrender, alternating his tickling with pillow bashing. I tried to keep saying Smudge, but I could hardly breathe, I was laughing so hard. Charlie was laughing as well.

  “Guys, I think you should get a room,” Sue said all of a sudden.

  Charlie stopped manhandling me. I shot upright and we both stared at Sue, tears of laughter still streaking my face.

  “Just a thought,” she said and smiled one of those knowing smiles.

  Holy moly. She didn’t think that Charlie and I…last night…?

  “Don’t worry, I’m not into Smudges,” I managed to say after catching my breath while trying to wipe my face dry.

  Charlie turned his head to me and made one more sudden move in my direction. I shrieked, pulling my arms in to protect my vulnerable sides. To my relief, he went to sit in his chair, and I straightened up.

  The game continued innocently after Sue’s remark. I chose ‘dare’ every time Charlie asked me a question as I was afraid he would ask me why I wasn’t interested in Smudges, or what it would take to get me interested. I didn’t dare to say ‘truth’ as I found it hard to let him down. Charlie was my friend and a very good one at that. I didn’t want to lose what we had.

  Letting Emotions Go

  After lunch, we tried to get some sleep again. The six or so hours of last night’s rest were not enough for me, and I soon fell asleep. It wasn't a pleasant sleep, with very vivid dreams. I dreamed of vampires, of people having convulsions, and of blurry characters chasing me.

  When I woke, Sue wasn’t there. I got up and found her in the living room, asleep and drooped over the two-seater. I must have been tossing and turning a lot to make her flee the comfort of the big bed. I heard Charlie snoring in his room, so I went back to the big bedroom and sat on the bed. The headboard had an uncomfortable edge, and I had to prop up the pillows to soften it. When I finally got comfortable, I thought back on what had happened in the past few days.

  It was just over a week ago when the three of us sat at our local bar. Charlie had gone to order another round of drinks for us when we heard of the sucker problem for the first time. Sue and I were watching the TV news when Charlie returned from the bar, carrying three pints of beer.

  “Listen to this,” Sue said to Charlie.

  “Give me a hand with these first, my lady, before I drop something. Then I will do your bidding.” We took the beers out of Charlie’s hands and the three of us turned our attention to the TV screen. The newsreader just ended her sentence with ‘…disturbing images.’ We were shown footage of what was apparently happening in the big cities. We saw people chasing others and what looked like people biting others in the neck. The images were extremely vague and grainy as it was all filmed in the dark.

  “New vampire movie coming out?” Charlie asked.

  “No! This is for real. This is really happening, my man,” Sue said.

  “You’re kidding me,” he replied.

  I glanced at him and it was clear he didn’t believe her.

  “It’s true,” I said. “Otherwise they wouldn’t show it on the news now, would they?” I took a big gulp of beer.

  The drunk-one has spoken.

  Charlie just stared at me, then at Sue.

  “You’re kidding me,” he repeated.

  I could understand his disbelief. The footage had seemed so unreal, like some fantastical imaginary war in some far away country that didn’t affect us. Sue and I both stared at Charlie with big eyes. He finally sat down.

  “Wow! That’s spooky. Is it bad?” He looked at the TV again, but the newsreader had moved on to the next topic.

  “Only if you get killed apparently,” I said. “If you live, you get to be a vampire and suck blood.”

  “Cool,” he grinned, “but I’m sure you mean ‘if you die, you get to be a vampire.’”

  “No, that’s not what they said.” I frowned.

  “Yeah, that’s not what they said,” Sue agreed.

  “But you only get to be a vampire when you get killed by a vampire, not when you not get killed by a vampire,” Charlie said.

  I thought about it for a moment, comparing what the newsreader had just said and what Charlie was saying. “That’s too confusing,” I concluded.

  Both Sue and Charlie laughed.

  After we all did a bit of contemplating while sipping our beer, Sue spoke.

  “Would you get to live forever you think?”

  “Well, that would be awkward, with the shortage of housing everywhere already,” I quipped.

  Sue and Charlie burst out laughing again.

  “What?” I asked them. “It’s true, isn’t it? There’s a housing shortage.”

  “You always look at things from a practical point of view, don’t you?” Charlie said as he punched me playfully on my arm.

  The conversation drifted to the housing problems our college friends were having in the big cities. That topic seemed so much more important at the time.

  The three of us didn’t watch any more news that weekend as we were too busy making and tweaking teaching plans and strategies for the coming week. When I arrived in the staff-room on Monday morning, I was surprised to find it was buzzing with news about vampires, chaos, and death. Mrs. Sloan, the old history teacher, was crying and snottering while others were trying to calm her down. Apparently, she couldn’t contact her daughter, who lived in Portland. Other teachers were standing in little groups, whispering, as if in a conspiracy about something. Charlie wasn’t there as he always went straight to his classroom in the morning. His excuse was that he needed time to set up equipment for the first lesson, but I knew better.

  When the headmaster, Mr. Finkle, emerged from his office, everyone became quiet and looked at him, waiting for him to speak guiding words. He was a small man and not particularly handsome. He was more of a weasel, really, and as such didn’t entice much respect from his looks. However, as he stood there with his hands on his hips looking at everyone, he knew that we would all listen to him. He was after all the principal, the boss, the puppeteer holding the strings. From the grin on his face, it was obvious that this was a position he quite liked. His face became more serious, and he spoke with a loud voice, to be heard by all in the staff room.

  “I know there’s talk of a grave situation going on in the cities. However, we must think of the children. We shouldn’t worry them with problems of grown-ups.” He looked around the room again. You could hear a pin drop. “Therefore we will continue teaching as usual and not talk about it at school at all.”

  The majority of teachers nodded in agreement, telling each other ‘not to worry the children.’ Mrs. Sloan began another crying session, her morbidly obese frame shuddering with every sob.

  My mind was blown. This was such old-fashioned ostrich policy. I could understand not talking about it with the children, but why couldn’t we discuss this amongst ourselves?

  I raised my arm to protest, but Sue grabbed it before my hand went past my head and held it down. I yanked my arm out of her grip, frowning at her.

  “It’s no use,” she whispered, “nobody will listen.”

  I looked around and saw everybody was already leaving the staffroom as if nothing had happened.

  “We’ll talk at lunchtime,” Sue said as she, too, left for class.

  Over the next few days, news reports of sucker attacks came in from all over the world. It became clear the epidemic was actually worldwide, a true pandemic. New images of these so-called suckers remained grainy and dark. The newsreader mentioned the number of victims rising steeply. I thought using the word ‘victims’ very inappropriate. These suckers didn’t seem in the least bit disabled, physically or mentally.

  When we weren’t teaching, we were glued to the TV screen, hungry for more information. We were informed suckers had their own form of
‘kryptonite’; sunlight. They appeared to be extremely UV-sensitive, and when exposed to sunlight, they would instantly have an epileptic seizure causing muscle spasms. We laughed about this. We envisioned endings of movies where vampires had epileptic seizures instead of disintegrating into piles of dust. I pointed out they would have to clean up whole bodies now, instead of using a brush and dustpan.

  On Thursday, the situation came too close to home for me and so much more real; I couldn’t contact my parents anymore. They lived in an outer suburb of Portland. They didn’t pick up the phone, weren’t online, and didn’t answer my texts messages. I’d told them to come to my place earlier in the week, but they were adamant it was just a fad and that it would soon fly over. Now I was afraid for their safety. I wanted to jump in my car and drive home. Sue and Charlie had to physically stop me, arguing it would be senseless as the army had closed off the roads into and out of the cities in an attempt to contain the situation. I frantically tried to contact my sisters, to find out if they were okay and if they had heard anything from Mom and Dad, but this had no result either. Maxine lived on a naval base which was probably in lock-down. I felt relief at the thought that at least she would be safe. Julie, however, lived in a country town not too far from me, and I worried immensely about her.

  Sue also couldn’t get a hold of her family, but driving to Mississippi would be way too dangerous.

  Charlie didn’t even know where his aunt lived.

  By Friday most communications had stopped. During the week, one TV station after another had ceased to broadcast. Then the radio had gone silent. The internet had still worked, so to speak, but there were no broadcasts, no news flashes. Fewer people had been trying to contact one another. CB radios seemed the only form of communication left. Those giving out locations of safe places had soon stopped communicatin,g and we could only speculate that suckers had followed their directions.

  By this time most of Bullsbrook had been in chaos. There were some people who still pretended nothing was wrong, but most others had been rampaging through the town. Some had tried to fortify their houses and plundered supermarkets for food. Others had taken advantage of the situation, looting as much as they could, as if a large flat screen TV could save them from suckers.