Best in Bed

by Cheryl Dragon

  Sometimes I thought those two were telepathic, they knew each too well. That look meant something, even if it wasn’t a real answer to the question. It was creepy and I felt even more isolated than normal.

  “Come on, some guy had to have gotten under the underwear.” Lori didn’t seem to be grasping the concept of my situation either.

  “No, sorry.” I folded my arms tightly.

  “She’s stuck at second,” Lori said to Marina. Lori looked as though it finally hit her that I’d just revealed I had a third breast or something.

  Their shock and sarcasm wasn’t making me feel any better. On the other hand, I had finally managed to shock the city girls. That was a first. Maybe telling them wouldn’t be so bad after all?

  “Why?” Marina shoved her fingernails through her dark black hair and shook her head. “You think it’s going to bite you?”

  Lori started to giggle and tried to stifle the noise in a pillow. “Maybe she’s watched too many adult movies and thinks they’re all that big.”

  Marina choked on her wine and slapped Lori’s shoulder. “I wish. That is so completely not the case. Usually it’s not big enough.”

  “I’m not afraid of that.” I blushed.

  “Then why?” Marina shrugged as Lori continued to giggle. “No, Lori stop. Seriously, why?” Marina put on her serious face.

  “I wanted to wait for the perfect guy.” I had no better answer. It wasn’t family pressure or some religious conviction. Right now, I wanted to sink through the floor or disappear. Was it so bad?

  “Jen, there is no such thing as a perfect guy. They don’t exist.” Marina looked at Lori and finally nudged her. “Right, Lori?”

  “Yeah, no such thing. No guy is perfect. Even the best require extensive training for decent boyfriend or husband material.” Lori’s voice wavered. She nodded for extra emphasis.

  “I know he won’t be a flawlessly perfect human being, I never expected that. I just thought he’d at least be a perfect match for me. I never had that couldn’t control myself, had to have this guy kind of thing happen to me.” I slumped onto the couch with the realization that waiting had been a waste of time.

  I curled up into the fetal position before I started crying or something. Those were years of my life, potential experiences I could never get back. All because I thought the right one would show up. Disney had won; I’d been brainwashed over the years. “I fell for the fairytale.”

  “Oh, no.” Marina got up and sat next to my head on the couch. She patted my hair and mumbled something to Lori. A few minutes later, Lori returned with the second cheesecake on one of my fancy china platters. The blue willow pattern I’d scrimped and saved to buy. I felt like an old lady before I’d ever been a wild girl.

  “I was stupid.” I dipped my finger into the piece Lori set out for me. I’d never eat like that normally. At the moment, I didn’t care.

  “You weren’t stupid, you just never had anyone to tell you the truth about sex and men. It’s never like it is in the movies. Older sisters are great for that. You only had brothers.” Marina made it sound better.

  “I only have brothers,” Lori defended.

  “You were born corrupted and boy crazy,” Marina shot back. “Focus, please.”

  Lori looked ready with a comeback. I cut in first. “I never even had a Nick.” I envied Lori so much. Even with all their issues, she’d found a guy she couldn’t resist or get over. No man had ever affected me like that, and I was closing in on thirty.

  “What does his name matter?” Lori acted oblivious as she feasted on cake.

  “Dumbass, she means she wants to be like you and Nick,” Marina corrected.

  Lori paused in the middle of emptying the wine bottle into my glass and whipped the cork at Marina’s thigh. Clearly, Lori didn’t want to talk about her issues. Marina retrieved the cork and tossed it right in Lori’s piece of cheesecake with a sharp nod of satisfaction. Another one of their silent fights. They were about a sex life away from being an old married couple.

  “She wants heat, sparks, uncontrollable passion and all the fun and recklessness that goes with it,” Marina added. “Of course you want that, Jen. We’d all love it. It’s rare. Other men aren’t perfect, not total fireworks. They’re fun. Don’t try to achieve Lori and Nick chemistry on your first time out. That’s just setting yourself up for pain.”

  “Please, it’s nothing special. Just animal lust. You’ve had something like that, Marina. Right?” Lori’s question hesitated at the end.

  “Not really. Lucas was the closest, sex-wise, to an animal. However, there was no passion with our clothes on. You told me once that you and Nick sizzled even when you were in your ugly gray blizzard parka and he was sick with the stomach flu. That’s chemistry and emotion. It’s not easy to get both in one package. I don’t think you realize what you had with Nick, Lori.” Marina’s voice was void of any teasing or playfulness.

  Only my eyes dared to move and look over at Lori. She wasn’t boiling mad but her jaw was tight. That was something I’d wanted to tell Lori a million times yet always worried she’d overreact. Lori was weird about Nick.

  At least I knew Lori would take it better from Marina than from me. I could show my support. “I’d love to have what you and Nick had.”

  “I’d gladly trade you any day.” Lori sat and lounged back in the chair as though Nick didn’t matter at all. “Nick had no chance for a real relationship. It was a short-term blowout of hormones. I think you two are overestimating the emotional side of things.”

  “Fine, this is about Jen anyway.” Marina leaned down to look me in the eye. “So, if you really want to wait for the right guy, why are you upset?”

  “Have I wasted my life? My chances?” I sniffed. Composing myself was a waste.

  “Some of them, yes.” Lori nodded.

  “Just look at it like Lori took them for you.” Marina returned.

  “Like you’re so innocent. You slept with more guys in college than I did.” Lori scowled. “I wasn’t really in love with Nick, so don’t romanticize it. Marina’s right, fairytales are crap.”

  I nodded and slowly sat up. The emotional overload mixed with wine and tequila made my head spin for minute. “I still want the fairytale.”

  “That’s never going to change.” Marina shook her head. “I want to be a size four. In fairytale, I am. Here I’m stuck at a ten and will be lucky if I ever see an eight.”

  Lori rolled her eyes. “You don’t get a chest like that at a size four unless they’re fake. And, as for you, Jen, you can either sit around not having any fun, waiting for some guy who doesn’t exist to find you, or you can get out there. Why not have a little fun and hope you bump into a guy that you can mold into the right one?”

  “Mold my ass, you can’t mold anyone into anything.” Marina grabbed the pitcher to make more margaritas. That poor blender was getting a workout tonight and we’d downed one bottle of wine on top of it.

  “Sure you can. Just because I couldn’t mold Nick into an acceptable man doesn’t mean there isn’t someone out there ready for me.” Lori cut herself another slice of cheesecake and dove in.

  “Really?” Marina asked between blender blasts. “So, in all the years we’ve been friends you’ve managed to mold me into your ideal friend?”

  “Hell no, you still piss me off!” Lori took Marina’s glass and finished off the last of the wine for the new batch of drinks.

  “See how well that molding thing works?” Marina grinned. “A little training in bed is one thing. You can’t change people. Men are ‘as is’ products and they don’t have a warranty.”

  “So why bother?” I asked.

  “What else is there? Unless you decide Brian has the right idea and turn gay on us, I’m afraid that’s all there is.” Marina returned to the couch with the pitcher and poured generously in all of the glasses.

  “Maybe that’s it?” Lori had that glint of teasing in her eye. She leaned toward Marina as if to whisper yet spoke loudl
y. “Maybe Jen doesn’t really like boys?”

  “I do too!” I insisted. Lori was worse than what I imagined an older sister would be. She loved to tease me. If I didn’t argue back, she’d take it as though I agreed with her and keep going until I cracked.

  “I don’t know.” Marina shrugged. “Never did it with a guy. Sounds pretty unsure.”

  “No way.” I folded my arms firmly. “I may be a virgin but I want a man.”

  “How should we test this, Marina?” Lori curled up in the big chair looking full of mischief.

  “How should I know? I want to make sure the guy I’m after isn’t gay. Who cares about women?” Marina took her glass back from Lori and poured herself more.

  I shuddered at how they just shared glasses and didn’t care about germs. Marina said it was just like having another sister when I asked her about it once. I couldn’t share a glass with any of my disgusting brothers to save my life. Not with anyone in fact. It was the same result as kissing them. That it did give me an idea.

  “I don’t know about girls. I never thought about it,” I said with a straight face.

  Marina glanced at me out of the corner of her eye with a mixture of disbelief and amusement. “Don’t get that desperate. There are plenty of men out there who wanted you and you wouldn’t let them. Try that first.”

  “What if Lori is right?” I stood up and walked toward Lori who looked more confused than Marina. “What if the reason I never fell hard for a guy is because men aren’t my thing? It happens.”

  “Sure, it happened to my cousin Anthony. We all pretty much figured it out before he was out of college.” Marina sat up straighter on the couch. “Jen, don’t listen to Lori. She just said it to get you worked up.”

  Marina wasn’t sure what I was doing. She was harder to freak out. Lori’s eyes were glued to me. Two could play the game and tease.

  “Can you ever really be sure if you don’t try it?” I casually sat on the arm of Lori’s chair.

  “Sure you can. Buy one copy of Playboy and one of Playgirl, look at them, and see which one turns you on. Simple.” Lori shrugged.

  Marina nodded. “The store clerk will look at you funny, but it’d work.”

  I loved that neither of them knew where I was going or what to expect. It was so rare.

  “That just seems so artificial. Attraction is more than just a picture. Maybe I should test it?” I began leaning way too close to Lori.

  She watched me for a few seconds. When I didn’t back off she jumped out of the way and nearly tripped over the coffee table. “What the hell is wrong with you? You don’t get any and one day you just snap?” Lori demanded. “People survive dry spells. Just think of it as a really long dry spell. It’s just a do-it-yourself period. She really needs a shower massager for Christmas.”

  Marina covered her mouth to keep from spitting out her drink. She finally recovered enough to swallow. “She’ll get the massager. I’m so proud.” She coughed and continued to laugh.

  “Proud, she’s lost her mind!” Lori kept a safe distance and put Marina between us.

  “Relax Lori, Jen’s finally just getting back at you,” Marina explained. “You tease her enough and finally she’s started to tease you back. And, I don’t think she really wants to lose her virginity to a battery power device. Not that owning one would hurt.”

  “That’s a really creepy way to get back at me, Jennifer.” Lori grabbed Marina’s glass from her hand and downed what was left.

  “For the record, it was a joke. How is that creepy and you drinking from Marina’s glass not? You’re swapping spit,” I pointed out.

  “Sharing a glass isn’t kissing.” Lori started to laugh. “I’ve seen Marina naked when she needed help getting dressed for her sister’s wedding. That doesn’t mean I wanted to touch her. No offense.”

  “None taken. I wouldn’t want you either.” Marina smiled. “Jen’s just freaked out by germs and while I’m glad a chef is so clean, I think we’ve hit on a potential problem with her sex life, should she ever get one.”

  “Meaning?” Lori frowned.

  “Talk about germs. Sex goes way beyond spit. Maybe she’s got one of those phobias about germs and bodily fluids so she just can’t do it,” Marina suggested.

  “I’m not that bad!” I argued. So, I cleaned compulsively. So. I washed my hands constantly during the day whether at work or not. It didn’t mean anything. “It’s the chef training, washing your hands and keeping everything clean and separated.”

  “How do you know?” Lori challenged. “You’ve never tried it. Never gotten past kissing a guy. You can’t boil him before you screw him.”

  “Absolutely right. And with a mouth like that, Lori, I’d say you’re ready to go tackle your mechanic again.” Marina winked.

  “That was my impersonation of you, Marina,” Lori countered.

  “Sure it was.” Marina’s sarcasm bit back.

  “You go meet Nick, Marina. Spend time with him, talk to him. Then you tell me if he’d really be good for me,” Lori encouraged.

  “Don’t worry, I intend to.” Marina smiled. “After all those steamy stories, I have to see him for myself.”

  Lori didn’t look as smug all of a sudden. She didn’t say anything.

  “Brian is out. We still have Lucas and Nick to look into. Don’t worry Marina, I’m going to find out everything about Lucas this week.” I changed the subject and wasn’t very subtle about it.

  “Find yourself a guy, Jen. Don’t waste too much time on Lucas. He’s not emotionally available and I really doubt that’s changed.” Marina waved it off.

  I wasn’t about to blow off my part in this. Maybe doing a good deed for Marina would get me a little good luck in the man department. “Maybe Lucas will know someone for me?” I’d have to change my thinking. It didn’t hurt anything to hope and keep my eyes open.

  “Does that mean you’re ready to come over to the dark side?” Lori pressed.

  “Not with the next guy I see. I definitely think I need to get some experience with men. Maybe then I’ll have a little more confidence with them.” At least I hoped that would be the case. I was always such a nervous wreck around the ones I was attracted to. Not with Lucas! He wasn’t for me so I could do this right.

  ~* * *~

  I'd slept late. There was no incentive to get up early. All I had to do today was find Lucas, and I was planning to hit his building around lunch. Other than that, I had nothing to get me out of bed. So, I lounged under my thick blanket.

  It'd been a week since that job interview and not a word. Part of me was beginning to worry. Luckily, I had a distraction. I was going to find Lucas and see if he was worth another look for Marina. After that, I needed to get a personal life of my own! There were plenty of men in Chicago. I just had to start paying attention.

  An hour later, I got out of bed and showered. Since the building was professional, or so I assumed, I put on a cute sweater and wool skirt. Not quite a suit, but not my usual jeans and gym shoes. I grabbed my directions and headed out for an adventure.

  I got off the El at the right stop and followed the computer printout directions to Lucas's building. The first hurdle had been a success. I hadn't gotten lost. Now I had to figure out where his office was, not to mention how to gain entry. Lori said a lot of firms had tight security.

  One step at a time, I decided, as I slipped into an opening in the revolving door. Instantly, I longed for the chaos of a busy kitchen. The lobby was full of people going in every direction. I moved to a board that listed the companies in the building located near the security desk. The financial firm was on the fortieth floor.

  Gathering my courage to face being completely out of my element, I turned to find the elevators. My heel caught on something. Suddenly my feet flew out from under me. I shut my eyes and cringed. The floor was hard marble and there was nothing to stop my fall.

  My heart pounded, and it seemed like forever. Then a pair of strong arms grabbed me. I gasped and clutched the
stranger. I was sure it was from the panic although those arms did feel good around me.

  "Sorry, I left my gym bag right in your way," a nice male voice said.

  I opened my eyes to see a man who couldn't be more than thirty-two and adorable with green eyes, brown hair, and quick reflexes.

  "My fault, I'm accident prone," I said. He helped me onto my feet. His arms had felt great, though I couldn't stay there all day.

  I had to find Lucas, I reminded myself. Still I also didn't want to be rude. "Thanks," I managed, as I made sure my clothing was straight if a bit crumpled. Luckily, I had chosen one of my longer skirts.

  "Any time. Do you work in the building?" he asked.

  "No, I'm here to see someone." I tried to look casual and confident.

  "Man or woman?" He casually tossed the strap of his gym bag over his shoulder.

  I took a good look. Very nice! He must work out very regularly for it to show so nicely under this suit and dress shirt. His body momentarily distracted me before his odd question finally sank in. "What does it matter whether it's a man or a woman?"

  He shrugged. "Just a question."

  "A man." I kept the answer short, not sure what to make of my evasion, then deciding it was fun.

  "Lucky him. Meeting him for lunch?" He took a step closer, and I felt like we were the only two people in Chicago even as crowds of people buzzed around us.

  "No, I was dropping in to see him."

  "A surprise, that's nice. Is he your boyfriend?"

  "Not exactly," I stammered.

  "Couldn't you wait until after lunch to see him then?" He stepped a little closer.

  "If I wanted to. Thanks for the hand. I'm going to go up now." I backed away slowly feeling very uneasy. I wasn't scared and didn’t believe myself in any danger but he wanted something. I wasn't sure what.

  Odds were he didn't work on Lucas' floor so I could get away in the elevator if I wanted. It wasn't as though we were alone in a dark ally.

  "Wait, why not have lunch with me?" He followed me.

  "Why should I?" I replied.

  "I saved you a trip to the emergency room. Maybe I'm your good luck charm?" He shrugged and smiled a boyish grin that sparked something in me.