I'd grabbed an array of cookies, cakes, and brownies at the coffee shop and bakery on the ground floor of my office building on my way home. It wasn't as good as Jen's or Marina's mom's, but it would do. As usual, I’d overbought, because only a bad hostess ran out of food.
I balanced the huge tray and managed to make my way from my apartment to Jen's door and nudged it open. The girl would never learn to lock her door.
"The refreshments are here," I announced.
Jen took them from me and settled them on the island. "You know some of us don't have an overactive metabolism like you do," she reminded.
"Then you need to find a good man to burn off the calories with," I teased. It was a relief to have conversation. My own thoughts had been torturing me all day. Work hadn't cured it, a trip down memory lane had only fueled it. Now, my friends could help distract me.
"Marina called. Work ran late. She's finally on her way." Jen removed the lid from the tray of goodies and began sampling. "Not bad."
"It better be good for what I paid for it. I requested extra caramel turtle brownies."
"They're delicious." Jen covered her full mouth when she spoke.
I smelled coffee and joined Jen in the kitchen pouring myself a huge mug. I took a regular fudge brownie. I didn't deserve the caramel turtle one. I had failed to keep Nick off of my mind.
Jen noticed my pastry choice. "You love the caramel turtle ones. What's wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong, I just haven't been to the gym in a week."
"Like you'll gain an ounce." Jen dug in the fridge and opened a bottle of wine for later.
"I go to the gym to keep toned too and your metabolism is supposed to fall off after thirty." I left Nick, my true excuse, out of it. Food wouldn’t tempt me. I needed my mind on other things as quickly as possible.
"Then I have one more year to abuse my metabolism." Jen grinned triumphantly and took another caramel turtle brownie to taunt me.
"Evil." I gave in and took one for myself. "Any news on the job?"
"No, I'm not sure if I should call or what." Jen frowned and took a huge bit.
"Give it another week and then follow-up. Hiring always takes longer than they say it will. Don’t count yourself out yet." I took another sip of coffee and it soothed my nerves. "Any progress with Lucas?"
"I think we should wait for Marina for that conversation, don’t you?" She was avoiding it. Jen didn't seem upset, only a tad uneasy.
I shrugged and backed off. Lucas wasn't a real prize except for his earning potential. Marina didn’t look at men monetarily anyway so to her, he’d be a waste.
"Has Marina said anything to you about Nick?" I did my best to sound casual.
Jen shook her head. "No, not a word. I'm sure she's started though. Marina wouldn't let us down. It was her idea. Hopefully their schedules worked out."
"I'm not worried about her not doing it. I'm more worried about her over doing it."
"You don't want her to not explore the option?" Jen looked very concerned.
"Of course not." I backpedaled. "She just tends to go a little overboard at times. That temper and she always has to be right."
"Good thing I didn't tie him up and drag him back here to be our personal sex slave." Marina sounded proud of herself as she snuck up behind me and broke off a piece of my brownie. “I thought about it, then figured the virgin might get too excited. You don’t really like to share anyway.”
"You're so twisted," I snapped. I didn’t share well as it was, but that was mean.
Jen turned red in the kitchen and said nothing.
"No, I'm funny and you're damned touchy today." Marina poured herself some coffee and grabbed her own giant cookie full of chocolate and macadamia nuts. “What crawled up your ass and died?”
"Nothing, I’m not touchy. I don't care if you have him chained up naked in your apartment right now smeared with chocolate sauce." My God what a lie!
I waited for lightening to strike me dead where I sat. Marina knew it wasn’t true either. The very idea of Nick touching another woman, an especially a friend of mine, made me understand crimes of passion.
Marina sat in the chair across from me and rolled her eyes. "I don't need your rejects, thank you."
She didn't believe my act and she shouldn't. I noticed Jen turned away and dug through the fridge rather than comment. Odd for her, even if Jen didn't always get our humor. I knew Marina would never touch Nick, even though he was exceptionally sexy. He wasn’t her type.
"You could do worse than Nick," I pointed out.
"Please, I've heard too many stories. I'd start laughing imagining you with Nick." Marina grinned. “If I actually saw him naked, I’d die of hysterics. That’s your boy toy. And if you never see him again, I still couldn’t. As far as I’m concerned, he’s a eunuch.”
“Hardly, but if that works for you.” I started to giggle too when something crashed in the fridge. "Everything okay in there, Jen?"
"Fine, no problem." Jen closed the fridge and joined us. Blushing.
Marina looked at her and then at me with a frown. I shrugged and she nodded. We both knew something was off with Jen, just not what. It was an efficient method of communication.
I smiled and took another bite of my brownie. I'd never find another friend like Marina. Or another man like Nick, I realized. That didn't mean, however, that he was the right one for me. People got obsessed with the wrong people all the time. Just because I couldn’t give up the drama of Nick didn’t mean he was the right one.
Hopefully, Marina would have some news that would ease my mind. I had no idea what would do that, but I could hope. I’d run through tons of scenarios in my head and I couldn’t have covered them all.
"So, what did we find this week?" I asked. My part of the deal was done. I had nothing and was eager to hear both of their results.
To not appear too eager for Nick's news, I looked at Jen first.
She set her coffee down and nodded. "Well, I went to Lucas' office and made contact. He was very nice and polite, I didn't get far. No wedding ring, he didn't get bald or fat, and he's cute."
Marina nodded. "Not very interesting, right? Dull as a day at the DMV."
Jen blushed. "We didn't discuss current events or have any real conversation so I can’t honestly judge. He was on his way to the gym. I'm going to run into him again this week and try to get more information. I didn't find out if he has a girlfriend or not. He’s not married."
"No big loss either way." Marina kicked off her gym shoes and propped her socked feet on the coffee table as she popped another piece of cookie in her mouth.
I could tell Marina would’ve preferred to hear Lucas was married or fat. No such luck. Jen seemed to think he wasn't so bad; I'd heard enough details about him over time to know better. Marina found his financial obsession dull.
Lucas could be polite and charming, a good first impression, that he couldn't keep up. Except in bed, which of course, was why Marina had continued seeing him for a while even when she knew there was no future.
"Maybe he'll be worth another look. You think?" I asked so Jen wouldn't feel her efforts were in vain. For Jen, approaching a strange man and having a real conversation with him was a big step. This wasn’t small talk.
Jen nodded. "I think I should find out more at least. He may have a girlfriend. I’ll find out for sure." Jen gave Marina a half-hopeful look.
"Don't take it personally if it doesn't work out, Jen. These are all long shots. We're just making sure we did the right thing." I thought I sounded pretty convincing.
"What did you find?" Jen asked Marina.
"I went to the garage and met Nick, who was not overly eager to talk. I started things off. He isn't married and from the sound of things, doesn't have a girlfriend, and his looks have not gone downhill."
I knew that much. I still felt embarrassed that I'd driven by his garage on a whim. At least I knew the physical attraction was still there.
"Are you going to talk to him
again?" Jen asked Marina. I was glad. It got me off the hook.
"I'm going to give him a few days and try again. He's got my mom's car for repairs so he'll have to see me again when I pick it up if nothing else."
"You used your mom's car to get to him?" Jen looked stunned.
"Good idea," I admitted. "We didn't end on the best terms so he could've thrown you out and that would have been it." I sort of expected that reaction anyway, even though his boss probably wouldn't have approved of him doing that to a paying customer. Nick wasn’t the type to act like that anyway, not with a strange woman.
"He wasn't like that, the car needed work anyway. It was a safe opening in any case. He did overreact. I think I'll have a better talk with him now that the ice is broken." Marina freed her hair from the ponytail and sunk lower in the chair as she rubbed her eyes. "I'm beat."
"I have wine breathing on the counter," Jen offered in a tempting voice.
"You're the best." Marina smiled.
Jen brought the wine and I sat trying desperately to think of a new topic of conversation. I didn't want the focus to stay on Nick and me.
"So, Lori. Excited about Nick?" Jen asked.
I took the wine she offered and decided I needed it more than I wanted to toss it at her. "There isn't that much to be excited about. We're not compatible and, anyway, he's not interested. He didn’t do back flips and welcome Marina."
"Are you interested?" Marina asked.
"If I couldn't make it work before there is no reason to think it'll work this time. We're checking to make sure we don't leave any regrets in our twenties, not to repeat the mistakes of our past." I drained half of my goblet of wine.
"Some mistakes could be fun to repeat." Marina grinned. "Maybe you and Nick could just hook up again for some horizontal fun and see what happens."
"I don’t think that’s a good idea." I had to think of a cute comeback or Marina wouldn't let up. "Then what would I do with my new vibrator Santa is going to bring me for Christmas?"
Marina and Jen both laughed.
"It’s going to be good but I don't think it's a permanent replacement for the real thing. Otherwise men would be considered obsolete by now." Marina stretched and yawned. "I'll make sure Santa gets you rechargeable batteries and a deluxe model vibrator."
I tried to retaliate, but we were all laughing too hard. Jen poured more wine.
"Come on, I want to hear about new men. Let's leave history alone for tonight." I looked at Marina. "Any movement with the slug?"
"Seth is not a slug," she defended. "He's just shy and smart."
"And so slow he can't figure out you want to rip his clothes off and screw his brains out." I nodded. “I don’t think he’s good enough for you.”
"That is slow," Jen agreed. “You’re not very subtle, Marina. It’s not your style.”
“I don’t throw myself at my customers, Jen,” Marina defended. “I’m not about to start that. Seth seems nice, not the type to troll for random sex in bars or out to pick up women everywhere and anywhere.”
"And the nickname slug lives on. I know you like smart men, but really, you can do better." I smiled as Marina glared at me. It was always fun to turn the tables on my friend.
~* * *~
I spent all of the next day, Sunday, in bed. I had my laptop up and running and was looking up case research, or so I told myself. I didn't want to face anyone that day and allowed myself to hide.
Monday came and I had to go to work. I made it through another day at the office. Thankfully, nothing special was on my schedule. At six o'clock, I couldn't find any other reason to stay at work. My bed sounded like a good place to be depressed. I packed up and headed out for the day.
I sped through downtown, at least as fast as the traffic would allow. My mind was lost in the commercial free satellite music system I’d had installed; I knew my way home with my eyes closed.
Unfortunately, my subconscious betrayed me yet again. I arrived at Nick's garage stunned and ready to turn around and go home. I couldn’t leave.
I told myself I'd just see him once and leave. I didn't see his car parked anywhere. Maybe I'd missed him. He might have left for the day already.
Why had I even come? Did I actually think I'd get up the guts to go in? I wouldn't. I doubted I'd ever cross that line. So why did I torture myself? I noticed Marina's mom's powder blue Caprice safely in one of the bays.
I needed details. I knew Marina hadn’t told me everything. Asking her would only encourage her to think I wanted Nick back and she’d work harder. Why was I torturing myself? I couldn’t figure it out. From one extreme to the other. I needed a drink. Or maybe a shrink.
What I really needed was objective advice, which I couldn’t get from Marina now. I had a better idea. I drove a few blocks south and east and arrived at The Three Aunts Bakery. I paused, finally I forcing myself to get out of the car. I needed real, honest, cut to the chase advice. Not friend advice. I needed mom advice.
I entered as Penny was packing up. "Hi," she said.
"Hi, is Mrs. Castini here?" I asked.
"Sure, Aunt Rosa’s in back. I have to go, I have a big test tomorrow. Lock the door behind me, would you?"
"No problem. Good luck." I bolted the door behind Penny and walked slowly to the kitchen.
I saw Mrs. Castini and one of her sisters fussing in the kitchen.
"Hello Lori," Mrs. Castini said. She didn't sound at all surprised to see me and waved me in. "Don't lurk in doorways, dear."
I entered, careful not to disturb any of the trays or canisters of ingredients. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."
"Nothing, you remember my sister, Louisa?" Mrs. Castini waved her hand in the direction of her sister.
"It's nice to see you again." I nodded.
The older woman smiled. "You too, dear, is my daughter gone?"
"Penny? Yes, she said she had a test study for," I supplied.
Marina’s Aunt Louisa headed for the door wiping her floured hands on her apron. "I'll tidy up out front. We're done baking for the day."
"How are you doing?" Mrs. Castini pulled a tray of buns out of the huge oven. "Last one."
"They look delicious." I inhaled. They smelled just as good.
"Sit down here, you need some food." She dished out two steamy rolls from the previous batch and poured me a glass of milk.
"I'll never eat two full rolls," I protested.
"You'll try." She patted my arm. “You’re a rail.”
I knew I would. Replacing happiness or men with food wasn’t the answer, at least not for long. "Thank you. How are you doing?"
"Good. My car is trouble. Other than that, life is going well. How are you?" she asked.
Mrs. Castini sat at the counter across from me and waited. I didn't feel pressure or expectation. I felt like I wanted to spill my guts.
"I'm not sure," I said honestly. “Not feeling like myself lately.”
"Work?" she asked.
"No, that's fine."
"Marina?"
"No, she's great."
"Your family?"
"No, not exactly."
"Men?" I could guess that Mrs. Castini left that for last strategically. Marina probably filled her in. She was a mother to the core. I knew better than to even try to lie to her.
"One man," I admitted.
"My mechanic?" she asked.
I blushed. "Marina told you?"
"She told me about the looking up your ex-boyfriends. Is Nick a problem?"
"I haven't talked him in three years. It's just weird." I bit into the roll finally.
"What's weird?" she asked.
"I can't get him out of my head. I believed I was over him. I just can't stop thinking about him." I felt like a whiney teenage girl talking about some random high school boyfriend. My mom never had these sorts of talks with me. Maybe I needed this?
"He's a nice boy," she said.
"I know that. It just can't work. We're too different." I heard the words and t
hey didn’t sound as convincing as they felt. Marina’s mother wasn’t my mother. Family pressure could be extreme. The rules were different in what they considered good men. Hopefully, Mrs. Castini could help me.
"Sometimes differences make people work harder at things and that can make the relationship stronger. You don’t want to fight for him?"
"I don’t know. Our differences didn’t make us stronger. They only made us fight." I couldn't look her in the eye. Marina's family had blue-collar roots too. I didn't want to offend her. I didn’t care if Nick wanted to spend his life under a greasy car. There would be consequences and I didn’t want to disappoint my family.
"What was the fighting about?" she asked.
"My family, mostly. His family was pretty nice to me."
"Was your family mean to him?"
"They never met him. I never brought him around." I shrugged.
"Why not?"
That was the question I didn't want to answer, but knew I had to. It was where I got stuck every time I thought about the situation. "My family would never approve of a mechanic. At the least, they want me to marry another lawyer or a doctor. My mother has a pre-approved list of men for me. Nick is definitely not on it."
"What if you don't love a man who does that sort of work or is on your mother’s list?" She started to pick at the roll I wasn't eating. Such a mom thing to do, I loved it. I did need this, even if she didn’t have the answers. Just being here helped me feel less jittery.
"My mother is so odd. She wants me to follow in her footsteps, make a good social match, quit practicing law and raise kids."
"What do you want?"
"I want to keep practicing and find the right man and have kids." I needed my financial independence.
"It's your life. She can't make you quit."
"No, and I won't quit my job. She's almost accepted that fact. If I brought Nick home..." I shook my head. "I don't want to lose my family either."
"Do you really believe your family would throw you out of their lives?" She seemed unconvinced.
"I don't think they'd do that. That would be too easy for them and not enough punishment for me. They’d invite us, include us, and I'd never hear the end of it. Everyone would judge him, look down their noses at him, and make us feel uncomfortable. And the comments behind his back would be harsh to say the least."
Best in Bed Page 10
