from Pain to Pleasure (Gainesville Book 1)

by Jeanisse, Bella

  Danielle smiled. “Could we, Brian? Please?”

  “Fine.” He sensed Marie watching his every move. He didn’t want her to discover their secrets. When they were out of earshot, outside, he grabbed Danielle’s arm. “Don’t you dare make me look bad,” he growled quietly. “Got it?”

  She shuddered. The old him was just beneath the surface. “Got it.”

  * * *

  When they returned to the dorms, Marie was slightly impressed with Brian. He had taken them both to dinner and seemed to know a bunch of students and a couple of professors on campus. Nothing he did showed what was beneath his surface. His eyes told Marie he was not what he seemed, but nothing more.

  “Pack a bag,” Brian told Danielle. “I’m staying nearby for the week.”

  She turned to him. “I thought you had to prepare for your trip.”

  “I’ll do it the day before.” He needed to show her he was worth waiting for and had really changed for the better. The walk had cleared his head. It also made him realize he couldn’t control Danielle’s environment any longer. “I’ll be gone for months. I wanna spend some time with you before I go. Bring that dress, so we can go dancing.”

  “Where are you going?” Marie was curious.

  Brian looked up at her. “Russia, for a few months.”

  “Can I go to the bathroom?” Danielle whispered.

  Brian saw that Marie had heard her. Sweetly, he told her, “You don’t have to ask. Just go.” He smiled at Marie and hoped she left it alone.

  Danielle left the room quickly. She didn’t want to know why he said it like that. As soon as she turned to where she thought the restroom was, she saw him. Alex talked to another student a few doors away. He looked up and gave her a wide smile. She couldn’t help but smile back. However, she then turned away, terrified. I have to stay away from him.

  Chapter 2

  Once at the hotel Brian had chosen, he led the way to their room. Danielle always walked behind him. He wanted her to feel inferior. She watched him walk quickly and barely kept up. A shiver ran down her back. His confident gait worried her. She hoped he didn’t revert to the evil man she had been with before.

  Almost a week earlier, he attacked her in front of a group of his friends because she had been talking to his friend Anthony alone. The conversation was about school. She had few friends because Brian controlled almost every aspect of her life. Anthony tried to interfere and stop him, but that made Brian angrier. He hit her harder every time Anthony said something. She begged him to let Brian finish.

  Afterward, her clothes had been torn, and he had bruised her badly. He left her in the kitchen while she cried in serious pain. Brian usually took a walk after he abused her. When he had left, Anthony helped her change into his friend’s clothes. He had already seen her practically naked when Brian threw her on the floor to punish her.

  Danielle cringed as the image came to her. Please don’t hurt me again, she silently begged Brian.

  That night had been a turning point, though. She finally decided to leave him. Anthony had convinced her that abuse wasn’t normal. She had lived with it her whole life, so she expected it from Brian. He was her first and only boyfriend. She did not know what a normal relationship was like.

  Brian opened the door to their room. He held the door open for Danielle and let her in first. Her blonde hair shimmered in the light. He loved her, but he didn’t know how to love her. She was his first and only girlfriend, as well. Since he also grew up surrounded by abuse, he had never felt love. He watched her walk, and slight guilt hit him. It was something that rarely happened. Only since he realized his behavior was abnormal, did he see how he affected Danielle.

  The talk he and Anthony had the week before played in his mind. Anthony made him see just how much like his father he had become. He had never wanted to be like the man who beat him all of his life. Yet he eventually resorted to physical abuse to keep Danielle in line. He had always felt that since he hit her with an open hand, it wasn’t as bad. His choice of punishment for major mistakes was unlike his father’s. Brian didn’t use a belt or a rod. He used his dick. Anthony told him that was even worse.

  He shook the thought away. Memories wouldn’t help him keep his promise. He only got Danielle back because of it. “Do you wanna go out for dinner?”

  Danielle jumped. “I guess.”

  She too had been lost in thought, but Alex was on her mind. She had never been attracted to anyone but Brian, although it was minimal. Anthony had opened her eyes to the world she had been fearful of all her life. Before that, she wouldn’t have looked twice at Alex. His kind eyes made her feel comfortable. Never had a stranger done that.

  “We could just get room service, if you like.” Brian breathed deeply. His instinct was to tell her they would go to a particular restaurant, and she was to like it. He clung to sanity by a thread. “It’s up to you.”

  She smiled. He never left anything up to her. “Well, then I’d like to just eat here. I want to unpack some things. OK?”

  “Yeah, I’ll go find the menu.” When Brian found it, he added, “I wanna leave after we eat, so get dressed.”

  After she had dried off from her shower, Danielle came out of the bathroom. She wore her only cocktail dress. She wasn’t sure why she had packed it since she rarely wore it. Most of her other clothing covered her arms and legs fully. Brian watched television, dressed already.

  “Can you zip this up?” She stood with her back to the side of the bed.

  Brian reached over and pulled it up. “Turn around and let me see.” She did, and he frowned. “Fix your tits.”

  She looked down and saw what he meant. The strapless dress held her breasts up without a bra. Before it was zipped, they had fallen a bit. Once she adjusted, she looked at him again. “Better?”

  “Yeah.”

  He looked her over again. That was his favorite dress, because it showed a lot of cleavage. He liked her to dress slutty when they were together. It made everyone want her. He enjoyed pulling her close, so they knew she was taken. Her protests about showing off skin fell on deaf ears. What she thought did not matter.

  A knock on the door made them both look up. Brian didn’t make a move, so Danielle answered it. It was a handsome young man with their dinner. He smiled at her, then brought in a rolling tray. Brian waved money, and Danielle handed it to the young man.

  He looked at her again, slyly. “Thank you. Your dress is beautiful.”

  Danielle blushed. “Thank you.”

  Brian turned to see what he believed was Danielle flirting with the room service person. Suddenly, something snapped in his head. Anger and adrenaline filled him. The familiar feeling of possessiveness returned. He slowly got up from the bed and waited for the man to leave.

  After she had closed the door, Danielle turned around. Brian was behind her with fury in his eyes. She knew the change was too good to be true. Eyes open wide, she waited for him to attack. She didn’t have to wait long.

  “You were flirting with him!” he shouted.

  She backed away as much as possible. “No, I wasn’t. He said my dress was nice. You never say things like that to me.”

  “He liked it that much, huh?” He grabbed the front of her dress and tore it as far down as he could.

  It fell to her ankles. Shocked, she started to cry. “You ruined it.” She immediately wished she had stayed silent.

  In a rage, Brian grabbed her by the throat and shoved her into the door. He held her off the floor. “Now it’s trash,” he sneered. “You shouldn’t dress like that without me around, anyway.”

  She gasped for air, frightened beyond usual. Although she knew not to talk, she struggled to get free. She clawed at his hands. It did no good.

  Brian squeezed her neck a bit more, all rationality gone. “You wanted him to fuck you. Didn’t you? You stupid bitch.” He banged her head against the door. “No other guy would ever want you. You’re damaged and pathetic. Ugly fucking whore.”

  “P
lease… Brian,” she softly begged. “I—I… would… never…. cheat… on you.” It was hard for her to speak.

  He slowly put her back on the floor. “No, you won’t. Because if you do, I’ll kill you.” He let her neck go and grabbed a handful of her hair. “That little display will get you your favorite thing.” He began to pull her to the bed.

  “No. Please. I’m sorry. Brian, you said you changed.” She tried to pull away, but he yanked her. His fingers dug into her skin.

  He threw her down on the bed and straddled her waist. Blind rage consumed him. He wrapped his hands around her neck. “Wanna see what’ll happen if you cheat on me?” He tightened his grip and watched her struggle to get air into her lungs. It turned him on to see her helpless. It always had. He knew he was twisted, but he never cared until it was over and too late.

  When he finally let go, Danielle was lightheaded. She breathed deeply as she tried to gain control of her body. She had to get away before he really hurt her. Carefully, she looked around for an opening. Then a slap to the face stunned her.

  “If you so much as look at another guy while I’m away, my friends will let me know.” Brian glared at her. “I got eyes all over the campus.” He looked down at her almost naked body and smiled. “Maybe I should spank you before I give you what’s coming to you.” He did that at times to humiliate her.

  Quickly, he flipped her over and ripped off her panties. Then he slapped her butt several times. It made her cry out each time. A nice red mark formed. For a second, he stared at her scars. Maybe I’m treating her as badly as her dad. Then he remembered Alex, and the fury increased.

  Danielle tried not to cry or complain. She knew that would make it worse, but her cheek stung. He hit her other one, and she cringed. At least he didn’t use a belt like her dad did. A whimper escaped as his palm connected again. She was glad her punishment wasn’t what she expected.

  “OK.” Brian opened his pants. “Now that your ass is good and sore, it’s time for your pussy to hurt, too. You aren’t letting any other guy in there unless I say so.”

  Her eyes opened wide, and she started to scurry away. “No. No. No. No.”

  Brian grabbed her by the arm and jerked her back. “I don’t think so.” He grinned as he pinned her down on her back. “You know what fighting gets you. Right?” Her eyes opened wide, and she shook her head. “Too late. You tried to avoid punishment.” He climbed on the bed and straddled her neck. “Open up, now!”

  With trembling lips, she opened her mouth and closed her eyes. In seconds, she gagged. Reactively, her teeth grazed his skin. A slap made her remember the penalty for biting. She had to fight the reflex to vomit, or he would retaliate.

  His mind spun with the madness within it. “You’re not allowed to talk to that Alex guy, either!” He pulled out of her mouth and flipped her over. Her legs hung off the bed. “If I catch you even looking at him…” He shoved her face into the mattress. “Bitch, this is what you get for just thinking about cheating on me.”

  Danielle’s vision faded. She couldn’t even get a little air in. She was sure he was trying to kill her. A condom packet was opened, but it didn’t matter. She didn’t feel a thing anymore. If he killed her, at least her suffering would be over.

  Brian smirked when she stopped moving. He let her go and spread her legs. “You’re gonna wake up crying, Dani.” He smacked her one final time and grinned.

  * * *

  She woke up on the floor, her mouth and most of her body sore. The room was quiet as if she were alone. She got up and quietly cried from the pain. On the bed, Brian slept. How he could commit such atrocities, and then fall asleep, boggled her mind. It was as if he were not capable of remorse.

  She slowly walked to the bathroom as she softly whimpered. She felt dirty, so she took a shower. Within seconds, she noticed a red tinge to the water at her feet. Brian had made her bleed again. She hoped Alex did not have a penis as big as Brian. Brian’s didn’t fit inside of her. He didn’t care about that, though. When they had sex, Brian rammed into her as hard as he could and usually hit her cervix deep inside. Hours later, she ached but usually not as much as she did at that moment.

  After she had gotten dressed, she quietly packed her things. Tears fell. Her plan was to take money from Brian and call a cab from the lobby. Every little sound she mistakenly made terrified her. She didn’t want him to hear her leave. He knew where her dorm room was, but she had nowhere else to go. She hoped he would be afraid to retaliate at school. Agonizingly, she walked to the door, bag over her shoulder.

  Just as she opened the door a bit, Brian shut it and held it closed. He had heard the floor creak and looked up to see her tears while she packed. He could see the pain in her eyes. That’s when he knew he had gone too far. Confusion flooded his mind. Inside, he struggled to regret hurting her. He knew he should care more.

  Danielle tensed in fear. She prayed he wouldn’t punish her yet again. When he didn’t move, she shuddered. What’s he waiting for? She stood there, sure retaliation would be even worse than punishment had been.

  “I’m so sorry,” Brian whispered in her ear instead. “Please don’t leave. I won’t do it again. I didn’t want to hurt you. I couldn’t stop myself. I promise I won’t hurt you again if you just come to bed with me. Please.” He meant every word. His mood had swung way down.

  Danielle closed her eyes, unsure. She was scared that if she left, he would make her pay. However, she was tired of being blamed for things she didn’t do. She had heard apologies before. He still attacked her yet again. That night was the worst ever. He had never made her pass out.

  “Dani, just take your clothes off and let me hold you. Please,” he pleaded. He stroked her hair when he saw the red marks around her neck. “I love you, and I know you love me.”

  As always, she gave in. She put her bag down and slowly walked to the bed with him. She bit her lip to hold in the tears from her pain. He helped her get undressed. Then they lay down and faced each other.

  Brian fought the fear her body against his created while he tried to sleep. He rarely held her in bed because of it. Memories started to surface in his mind. The beatings were bad, but at night… He pulled her closer to try to will the images away. That made it worse.

  * * *

  The first night his father came into his bedroom, he was 12. Everyone else was asleep. When the lamp next to his bed came on, Brian looked up at his dad. “Something wrong?”

  “Ssshh, just lay on your belly and relax.”

  Brian didn’t understand. “Why?”

  “Don’t worry.”

  He did as told and closed his eyes. Then he felt a hand on his back.

  “You’re really growing up now.”

  When the hand slid under his pajama bottom, Brian froze. Then he tried to scream when they were yanked down. A hand clamped over his mouth. He could do nothing but whimper as his father climbed onto his bed.

  * * *

  Danielle felt him shiver and knew what was happening. He had told her every detail of his abuse. She had shared just as much. He couldn’t abuse her any more that night.

  “It’s OK.” Danielle ran a hand through his hair. Holding her was difficult for him. She knew he did it to prove he really could change. “I’m right here.”

  “I’m so sorry.” He fought to hold back the tears while the memory faded. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m not my dad. I swear.” He sniffled and kissed her forehead. “I’m sorry I hurt you so bad. I’ll never force you again. I don’t wanna be like him.”

  Chapter 3

  The next morning, Brian drove Danielle to school. She was in pain just sitting in the passenger seat. How she would get through the day was beyond her. As they drove through the campus, she shifted to try to ease the pain. Instead, that made it worse.

  “God, I’m so sorry.” Brian reached over and took a hold of her hand. He watched her grimace as she gripped him hard. “Maybe I should bring you to a doctor. They’ll give you prescription pain meds.�
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  She looked at him. “They would want to examine me.”

  “Oh.” He hadn’t thought of that. They would ask about the bruises. If they saw how much damage he had done with his hands and hips, he would be in jail in seconds. “I can say I have a migraine.”

  She looked out the window as students rushed into buildings. “If you want to, but I need to get to class. Can’t be late on the first day.”

  “I’ll have something for you when I pick you up, OK?”

  Danielle had kissed him goodbye before she climbed out of the SUV. “OK. Thanks.” She slowly walked to her history class, while Brian drove away.

  “Hi, Danielle.” Alex had grabbed the door before she got a chance to open it.

  She smiled at him while she checked that Brian was truly gone. He was. “Hi.”

  “What happened?” He saw a bruise just under her sleeve.

  She pulled her sleeve down just as Alex lifted it. She didn’t want him to see the mark from when Brian yanked her. “It’s nothing. I just bumped into a doorknob.”

  He knew she lied from the fear in her eyes. “OK.” He didn’t want to scare her off. He liked her so much that he told his brother Nathan about her. Never had he mentioned anyone to him by name before. “That’s a nice scarf.”

  Danielle absently touched it. Brian had bought it at the hotel’s gift shop. “Um… Thanks.”

  Alex thought he saw a mark on the back of her neck. When her hair moved, it was just above the scarf. However, couldn’t be sure. He probably tried to find another reason to hate Brian other than the fact he had the girl Alex wanted.

  He changed the subject. “You’re taking American History?”

  “Yes. I love history.”