“I’m in this class, too.”
They walked into the room and found seats next to each other. Danielle almost screamed when she sat down. She gripped the desk in front of her until her knuckles turned white. Her eyes closed as she fought tears and whimpers.
“Did you hurt something else?” Alex was angry. He assumed correctly that Brian had hit her. “You seem to be in a lot of pain.” If she says that bastard hurt her, I’m gonna tear him a new asshole.
She managed a quiet, “I’m OK.”
Throughout the class, Alex watched her. She cringed when she moved and didn’t do it often. He couldn’t tell what part of her body really hurt, but he got a better look at the bruise on her arm when she pulled out her notebook. It looked like fingers or something; oddly shaped. No way was it from a doorknob.
The entire day, Alex could not stop thinking of Danielle. Girls didn’t get to him. It made no sense at all. The bruise on her arm had him worried, though. Since she was tight-lipped about it, he tried to think of a way to find out without asking. Other than following her around, he didn’t come up with anything. Stalking her was not smart. Then she would never talk to him.
He got his chance when he saw her walk the campus after his last class. Her gait told him something was seriously wrong. He hurried to catch up with her. “Danielle! Wait up.” He was surprised when she turned around.
“Hi,” she said meekly when he walked up to her.
The grin was automatic. “Hi.” Then his expression turned serious. “I don’t mean to pry, but there’s a clinic on campus. I’ll take you there. They can help.” He put a hand on hers.
She pulled back fast. “No. Please. I can’t.” She walked away, quickly. Her heart pounded. That meant he noticed more than just the bruise on her arm.
“Wait, Danielle,” Alex called after her as he hurried to catch up. When he reached her, he matched her pace. “Hey, I’m sorry if I said something wrong, but you’re in pain. What really happened?”
She used the old standby. “I fell and hurt my arm and leg.” She could tell he knew she lied.
“OK, if you say so.” He wanted to make her tell him but knew that would backfire.
Danielle could sense that if she had the guts to tell him the truth, he would help her. Her fear of Brian and hope that he really could change overruled that idea.
“Can I walk you to the dorm?” He grinned and hoped it swayed her.
She glanced at him, and her heart beat faster. He had the sweetest smile. If only she were free to make her own choices. Then they could at least be friends. Brian’s words from the night before echoed in her head.
“I can’t.” She frantically looked around, after she had realized she had forgotten they were in public. “I have to go.”
Stunned, Alex watched her walk away. She took careful steps. His instincts told him he needed to intervene. That she needed to be saved. When she was out of sight, he hurried to find her again. He stood still and followed her with his eyes as she approached a large SUV. Brian was in the driver’s seat. Once she climbed into the vehicle, he sighed. Neither of them smiled at each other. He didn’t get it. What’s the point of being a couple if neither of them are happy?
Chapter 4
Friday, after Danielle’s last class, she was on her way to meet Brian when Alex caught up with her. Before he could say a word, she blurted out, “You can’t walk with me. I keep trying to tell you. Please. He’ll see you.” If Brian knew, he would… She closed her eyes, to calm down.
She and Alex had become friends, although she shied away when he touched her. It wasn’t because she hated his touch. It was because she liked it so much, it terrified her. They got along so well. It was strange. She loved to talk to him, but Brian’s cohorts could catch her. That was a risk she could not take.
“What’s the big deal?” Alex gave her his best smile, which worked with every other girl. He couldn’t understand why she always pushed him away when they started to get close. “It’s not like I’m kissing you. Not that I don’t want to.”
“Please.” She looked around, nervously.
They were out of sight from the parking lot, but Brian could get out and search for her. Then she saw Diego. He and another of Brian’s friends, Sebastian, had stopped in her classes several times that week to check on her. Diego frightened her more than the rest. He reminded her of Brian. His eyes showed the evil in his soul.
“I gotta go.” Danielle quickly started to walk the long way to Brian, to avoid Diego.
Alex huffed in frustration. She was the hardest nut he ever had to crack. It was odd, but he wanted more than sex with her. He took a deep breath and ran after her. It was not an option to let her go. He never had such feelings for a woman.
“Danielle, will you stop running away? Please.” Alex caught up to her again and grabbed her arm. She cried out, and he quickly pulled up her sleeve. “What the fuck? Did he do this to you?”
“He didn’t mean to.” She automatically defended Brian. The way he had been the rest of that week amazed her. It was as if he were a new man.
Alex turned away for a few seconds and tried to relax. “That’s what they always say.” He muttered it, too low for her to hear, on purpose. He had volunteered at a shelter for abused women with his mom for the past few summers. Danielle had all the signs. He had to do something. But what? She denied it. “Why’d he do it?”
She looked up at him. “He gets really jealous. I was talking to a guy at the hotel. He pulled me a bit too hard.” It wasn’t a complete lie. She couldn’t trust Brian’s promise of change, but she clung to hope.
Brian’s temper hadn’t shown its ugly head since Wednesday. Brian slapped her across the face and called her worthless when she spilled his soda by accident. Minutes later, he apologized. Since then, he was overly nice. He tried to hold her as they slept at night. Nightmares plagued him, so it didn’t last. She appreciated being able to lay her head on his chest even for a few minutes, though. She tried to hold him after he turned away, but that just made things worse. Never had she been able to touch him from behind without him freaking out. She knew why. His abuse had been so much worse than hers had.
Brian hadn’t even mentioned sex. Not once those few days. It did seem he had changed. If he knew that she wanted to get to know Alex better, though… “He’d be so mad if he knew how much we talked this week.”
“What would he do if he saw us walking together?” Alex wasn’t sure he wanted the answer.
“I don’t want to think about it. Please,” she answered, to avoid the question. “Please. I’ll talk to you Sunday. After he’s gone. OK? Just don’t let him know we talk. Please.”
He picked up her hand. She shook him off before she walked away. “Danielle, I just wanna say goodbye.” He stopped her again and hugged her. “If he hurts you, please tell me. I can help. You look so scared.”
She wiped a tear that fell from her eye quickly, and then sniffled. It was hard not to cry. “He doesn’t really hit me. Things are better now anyway. Please, Alex if he sees your hands on me, he’ll…”
He let her go and looked into her eyes. “He’ll what? Why won’t you tell me?”
“Please don’t ask again,” she begged him. “He’s changed. I swear. He won’t do it again.”
He could feel that his questions made it worse. If he didn’t stop, he would lose all the ground he gained that week. Maybe once Brian was out of the way, she would see how much better her life would be with him instead.
He planned to woo her the old-fashioned way, although his dick hated him for it. His hand was the only thing that had touched it since they met. For some crazy reason, no other girl was good enough anymore.
“We’ll talk Sunday,” Alex whispered close to her ear.
Danielle shivered when his breath washed over her ear. She wished she could hug or kiss him, but she didn’t dare. Instead, she pulled back again. “I have to go.”
“I ain’t giving up,” Alex softly said to her back. He w
atched her until she disappeared from view. Then he sighed and started toward his dorm room.
She felt that Brian watched her as she walked to him. He parked in the same spot every day. He was anal about so many things. It was something else she wished would change. One thing at a time, right?
As soon as she opened the passenger door, he smiled. “Hey, Dani. How was your day?” He leaned over and kissed her lips as she put her seatbelt on. He liked not being angry all day long. It felt good.
Danielle smiled also. “It was long, but it’s over now. Looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow.”
“Me too. I got a surprise for you.”
She hoped it was something fun. “Cool.” She knew not to ask what it was. He probably wouldn’t react like usual, but she didn’t want to take any chances.
* * *
“Surprised?” Brian asked as they walked into the movie theater.
Danielle was more like shocked. She asked, “You sure you can deal with it?” They had always watched DVDs because he feared the darkness in a theater.
“I’ll be fine.” He wasn’t as sure as he made it seem. He just wanted to do things he knew she enjoyed. When they had taken a seat, anxiety gripped him. “You want popcorn?”
She turned and grinned. “Sure.”
As soon as the lights went down, Brian grabbed her hand. He took slow deep breaths and forced himself to calm down. The previews were a great distraction.
“You OK?” She felt the tension and knew he struggled.
He leaned over and kissed her temple. “I’m good. Don’t worry. I love you, Dani.”
He did, with all his heart. It was just his head that told him he had to have full possession of her, no matter what it took. That week, he had worked his ass off to try to change. Slowly, he let her help him face his fears. The only one he couldn’t let go of was losing her. It was the biggest reason he reverted to abuse. It was all he knew to make her do as she was told.
Danielle hadn’t smiled as much since she met Brian as she did that night. The restaurant he brought her to after the movie was romantic, with lots of candlelight. He held her hand across the table a few times. He seemed like a completely different person. She didn’t see a hint of jealousy, and he had never said he loved her so many times before.
When they were in the Durango again, Brian looked over at her and wondered how he would get through the next few months alone. His love for her had grown that day. It helped him control the urge to tell her what to do or yell at her for little things. The feelings were still there, though. They ate at him, but he couldn’t hurt her again. He couldn’t turn into his evil father.
“You OK?” Danielle noticed he was lost in thought.
He hadn’t started the SUV yet. “Yeah. Just thinking. Sorry.” After the engine had turned over, he glanced at her. “I promise I’ll come back just like this. I know you’re worried about it. Sunday night will never happen again. I swear.” He reached out for her, and she clasped his hand. “Thanks for trusting me.”
She hoped she didn’t regret her decision. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
He drove toward another place Danielle loved, a nightclub. Hopefully, it wasn’t overkill. He had called Anthony while she was at school. Anthony suggested he do things he hated to prove to her that he changed. His advice had not been wrong once so far.
Danielle was again surprised when they arrived at the club. The only time they went dancing was when he had to make up for something. She was skeptical. Brian’s demeanor gave her the feeling he only pretended to be happy. As they strode onto the dance floor, Brian glared at the people around them. His eyes flashed anger when anyone looked her way. Then, as soon as he had her in his arms, his expression softened. She sighed softly, relieved. Although she was not dressed for dancing, she went with it.
Brian’s hands moved to her waist, and he rolled his hips, which made her body mimic his. He had a talent for dancing but didn’t usually enjoy it. Her smile told him she did, but he already knew that. With each minute that passed, he got more into it. Her excited mood was infectious. A smile formed as she held him close. The more their bodies moved to the beat, the more aroused he became.
They kissed throughout the entire first slow song. I have to be dreaming. No way is this real. She had dreamed of him showing her true affection. Although he had become slightly aggressive, it was still amazing.
By then, his hardened cock pressed against her abdomen. She expected that. Then Brian shifted and ground against her pelvis as he held her ass. He never tried to turn her on. It was always about him getting off. She wasn’t sure how to react. The feelings that flowed through her veins were something she only experienced when Alex touched her. She looked up and smiled. Her new desire for Brian gave her hope things would work out for them.
Brian moaned softly in her ear and whispered, “Can we go back to the hotel and fuck? Please?”
Shocked, she asked, “Now?” She thought they had fun.
“I need your pussy now.” He was about to lose control. When his vision blurred, he gritted his teeth. His sanity was held by a thread.
She stepped back. “Um…”
He grabbed her neck and pulled her back. “I said now,” he growled, on the edge of forcing her to leave.
Fearful, she tried to get away. “Don’t, Brian. Please.”
Her tone of voice brought him back to reality. “Oh, shit. I’m sorry.” Her whole body shook. He wrapped his arms around her. “All the blood went to my dick. I couldn’t think. Dani, don’t cry.”
She couldn’t help it. “Please don’t make me.”
Her tears fell faster. Her fears had come to light. He hadn’t changed as much as she hoped. The countless times she had sex with him against her will ran through her head. He slapped her if she refused, and then held her down while she screamed.
“I won’t. Really.” The terror in her eyes pulled at his heart. He wasn’t sure what to do to calm her. “Dani… We’re staying here. OK?” He swayed their bodies to the music and pressed his cheek against hers. “I’m so sorry.”
After a few minutes, Brian walked Danielle to the ladies’ room. He waited outside as she cleaned up and fixed her eye makeup. She looked in the mirror afterward.
“Am I crazy?” She had no idea what to think about Brian’s second lapse in the new him. He always had mood swings, but they seemed to be under control, finally. “Just one more chance.” It was a phrase she used a hundred times.
Brian smiled when she reappeared. “Feel better?”
She nodded. Her mood had changed, but she faked a smile. She glanced at him and hoped he could hold it together until he left for home. He put his hand out, which she took, obediently.
The rest of the night at the club, they danced, smiled, laughed and both tried their best to make the other happy. By the time they made it back to the hotel, it was very late.
“I’m gonna take a shower.” Danielle liked not having to ask permission to do everything.
She gave Brian a light kiss and left him in the main room. Once under the spray, Alex came to mind. She didn’t know why, but she thought of him often. She imagined he was the one who had taken her dancing. The night would have been a lot different. He seemed to be stable and caring. She shook her head and tried to forget about him. He was out of her league.
As soon as she started to wash her body, hands touched her shoulders. Brian never even looked at her in the shower, so she froze. He slowly caressed her skin without a word. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the loving touch. It was something so rare that she trembled.
Brian’s hands traveled to her waist. He eyed her naked flesh. Then he slid down the front of her body while he gradually bent her over. He never had sex in the shower before. The thought never occurred to him until that night. He had a condom on, and he hoped it still had lube on it. It was difficult to penetrate her without it, because he usually didn’t wait for her to be aroused enough for sex.
When he p
ushed his thick erection into her, Danielle’s eyes opened wide. The fear of pain returned. She tried hard not to tense, but it wasn’t easy. Soft whimpers escaped as he burrowed deeper, with slow strokes. A moan in her ear relaxed her a bit. He whispered something she couldn’t understand, and she shivered, unsure how she could make it less painful.
“I’m gonna miss you so much.” He had to use a bit of force to get more than a few inches in and grunted.
Danielle cringed as he squeezed her hips. “Ow!” She worried he would get angry.
“I’m sorry, Dani.” He kissed her shoulder. “Relax inside. So it doesn’t hurt so much.”
His mostly non-existent conscience told him to make love to her. That was something they had never done. He eased his grip and gave her a few shallow strokes. She deserved so much more than he could offer. He decided to make her cum before he did. The tension slowly left her body. Then he withdrew slowly and pushed in even further. He still had several inches left to go.
She was still nervous but tried to stay calm. Her hands pressed against the wall while he drove in and out of her languidly. Any second, she expected him to get rough. She shivered and wished he wouldn’t tease her with the hope of an orgasm. He had given her a few over the years. However, they were always followed by blinding pain.
Her eyes closed as he continued the loving pace. His fingers caressed her hips. He whispered her name, and she smiled. Maybe he really has changed. When he drove into her again, an explosion racked her body. She was caught off guard. Unconsciously, she cried out loudly, unsure of how else to deal with the feeling.
“Oh yeah, Dani,” Brian breathed in her ear. “That’s what I wanna hear.” He pulled back and thrust in as much as he could, which wasn’t his full length. “Do it again. Please.”
She didn’t know if she could. It felt incredible, though. The calm, controlled rhythm was something else she never experienced before. It confused her.
Brian was frustrated that he couldn’t get in fully, but the position didn’t allow it. He tried to push in deeper and bumped her cervix. She yelped, and he groaned. Why’s she so damn small? He widened his stance and pulled her back a bit more. It didn’t feel as good for him as usual. Slow was not his thing. At least her orgasm felt good. He tried for a while longer to make her cum again, to no avail.
from Pain to Pleasure (Gainesville Book 1) Page 3
