“How about I hold you up against the wall?” He had heard that was perfect for deep penetration but never tried that either. He usually did what was easy and quick.
She leaned back on him, in a daze. “Yeah, sure.”
With a groan, Brian pulled out as he held the condom. When Danielle turned around, he quickly kissed her and grabbed her ass. He didn’t want her to know he had no idea what he was doing, so he faked a lot of sexual knowledge with her. How would she know the difference? He had been her first.
Danielle went with the emotions that built. She kissed him back because she craved another release. When he lifted her off the floor, she grabbed his shoulders in a death grip. She was sure he would drop her. Then her back touched the wall, and he leaned on her somewhat. Their eyes met. She could see the darkness, but his smile distracted her.
Brian spread her legs and moved his hips until the head of his cock slipped into her. Then he thrust up hard. He had bottomed out before he gave her his full length. A shrill cry of pain made him look up. Danielle had a look of agony on her face. He had slammed into her cervix again with such force, he had most likely bruised it. She shook and scratched his shoulders. He pulled out some and hugged her with one arm while he balanced her as best he could.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’ll be more careful.” He nuzzled her hair. “I swear I didn’t mean it.”
She sniffled and laid her head on his shoulder. The pain had subsided enough to deal with. In her head, she knew it wasn’t on purpose. Although in her heart, she thought he enjoyed it. When he started to withdraw, she dug her nails into his skin. She had expected more pain.
Brian stopped his next stroke just before he did it again. He heard her whimper and closed his eyes. She’s still scared. “I’ll be as gentle as I can.”
She nodded and hoped it wasn’t a lie. Then a very passionate kiss surprised her. “O—K,” was her breathless response.
Brian kissed her a few more times, and then started out with a slow pace. Each drawn-out stroke was to ease her mind. It killed him to do it, but he wanted her to climax. He knew she didn’t like sex very much. If he wanted to keep her, he had to change that.
Danielle looked up and let out a moan. She was stunned at the sensations within her. Another thrust, and her head went back as a cry passed her lips. The tremble was short-lived but amazing. Is this normal?
Brian was almost relieved she finally came again. He kissed her neck a few times. “Can I go faster? This isn’t doing it for me.”
“Yeah,” she breathed out, as she still basked in the glow of pleasure.
He tightened his grip on her legs and tried to control his depth while he thrust faster and faster. “That’s it!” he called out. He finally felt pleasure too. “Oh, I love the way you feel.”
Unbelievably, it still felt good for Danielle. He pulled out further with each stroke and started to rub her G-spot slightly. It was an odd feeling for her but still preferable to pain.
Brian tried his best to climax, but it seemed unobtainable. It made no sense, but her pain got him off. Maybe it was sick, but he couldn’t help it. He started to fantasize about doing Danielle in front of Alex. In his mind, Alex couldn’t see all of her body, just enough to want her.
Danielle began to fantasize as well, but in her head, Alex made love to her. He whispered that he loved her as his hands ran all over her skin. His naked body felt so strong. She gasped. A strange feeling had begun deep inside her. Not like a usual orgasm. It was so much more.
“Uh… uh…” Her eyes rolled back.
Alex went faster and moaned in her ear, “I knew you wanted me.”
She felt like she was about to explode. Then suddenly, she screamed in pain instead.
Brian was almost in a trance. He imagined that he pounded her like crazy while Alex just watched, jealous. He had no clue he was hurting Danielle so badly that she screamed. He laughed in his mind as Alex begged him for a turn at her. Then he felt it—he was finally ready.
“She’s mine!” Brian shouted while his hands almost cut off the blood to her thighs. Then he groaned as he came. “Oh, fuck!” He let out burst after burst and moaned loudly.
Danielle couldn’t even see. It was that bad. The ache deep within her compared to nothing except punishment. When Brian pulled out, she cried louder. Her entrance was even sore.
Then the fantasy was gone. He opened his eyes to see what he had done. “Oh, God. I hurt you again?” He let her down and held her close. She shook like a leaf and sobbed so hard, she couldn’t even respond.
It was difficult to breath as her nose clogged, but she couldn’t stop the tears. She choked a few times before she finally started to settle down. Reality had crashed down on her. Sex was never good for long.
“I’m sorry it has to be that way.” Brian felt guilty for the first time so soon after sex. “I wanna stop hurting you.”
She closed her eyes and haltingly uttered, “It… always… hurts…”
He moved a hand to her head. She thought he would pull her hair because she got him angry, but he just stroked her hair. Then he drew her closer. She wasn’t sure how to react. His behavior was peculiar.
“I’m sorry, Dani. I’m trying so hard. This isn’t easy. I don’t know how to come without the pain.” His dick was actually sore also. Pain got him off, whether it was hers or his. He preferred both, though.
He quickly yanked the condom off and tossed it as close to the trash can as he could. If he let her go, he was sure she would fall. Soon, he had Danielle on the bed in a towel. He dried his body as he watched her slowly calm down.
She jumped when he put his arms around her. The night had been so nice until pain ruined it. It amazed her how one bad thing ruined everything. It was something she would never forget; he couldn’t control himself. She was glad in a way that he was going away. She needed a break from the pain.
“I’m so sorry. Dani. Please look at me.”
She couldn’t. The small amount of trust they built that day was gone. She imagined it was Alex that held her instead. That helped her drift off without more tears.
Chapter 5
Sunday morning, Brian was on his best behavior again. The day before, he had faltered several times. He yelled and accused her of cheating and once, he slapped her across the face. He quickly apologized, but it fell on deaf ears. Danielle was tired of the sudden changes and the need to forgive.
Even with all that, she still loved him. Her heart broke. He would be gone four months. She had never been without him longer than three weeks since she was 15 years old. It wasn’t rational, but she truly didn’t want him to leave.
They were in her dorm room, alone. Marie was out with friends. Brian sat her on the bed and took her hands in his. He had mixed emotions as well. He didn’t know what to say.
“Can you call me from there?” Danielle asked.
He smiled. “Sure. They got me a special phone.” Then he remembered why he had brought one of his bags up with him. He let her go and searched through it. “Close your eyes, and put out your hands.”
The weight of the object shocked Danielle. She slowly opened her eyes to find a new laptop. “When did you get this?” She put it down and hugged him. “Thank you.”
“Friday. I wanted it to be a surprise.” He didn’t add that he had modified the laptop a great deal. “It’s got a camera, so we can see each other.”
He had punched her old laptop a few weeks before and cracked its screen, so he felt guilty. He actually wanted to punch her that day. Seconds before his fist connected with her, he stopped. He hit the computer instead. She had used an external monitor since then to do her schoolwork.
Tears fell down Danielle’s cheeks while her head lay on his shoulder. She felt so many emotions at once. She wasn’t sure what to say.
Brian cradled her head. “I swear I won’t go back to the old me.” He kissed her hair. “No more abuse, Dani. I promise.”
She wished she could believe him, but he hadn’t
been able to control himself for more than a few days at a time. All her bruises had not even faded yet. She was used to covering up, but she was tired of that, too. Then she shivered. His friends would watch her while he was gone, as always. She hated that most when he was gone.
He lifted her chin and caressed her cheek with his thumb. “I love you so much. I don’t wanna leave you again. I’ll miss you.” He kissed her one last time. He was late, and he needed to get a lot done that day.
“I love you, too,” she whispered through her tears. Then he walked through the open door of her dorm room.
She stood there for a few minutes, unsure. Could I just live like anyone else for a change with him gone? How often would someone check on me? She had met at least five of his friends on campus, but only Diego and Sebastian lived in the dorms. Neither of them were nice to her. Diego creeped her out.
Danielle imagined being trapped in her room, not able to get away from his friends’ watchful eyes. Then she shut the door, threw herself on the bed and sobbed. It’s gonna be awful!
* * *
Some time later, Alex knocked on Danielle’s door softly. Marie had told him she was asleep, and Brian was gone. He hoped they could hang out. He loved every minute they spent together, no matter what they did.
As Marie said he could, he quietly opened the door. Danielle was on her bed, curled up under a blanket. He smiled, amazed at her beauty. He carefully sat on the bed and brushed a few hairs away from her face. His mouth dropped as yellowish marks on her neck became visible. He hadn’t seen her without a scarf around her neck all week. Now he knew why. Brian fucking choked her? He had to take a few deep breaths to shake the thoughts of killing Brian.
Memories of that week flooded his mind. He hated the look in her eyes. She seemed to fear everything. Thankfully, Brian was gone. She had nothing to worry about anymore. He planned to show her what a normal life was like.
He rubbed her back when she stirred. “You OK?”
“No!” she screamed and jumped away.
Alex put an arm around her. “Hey, it’s me, Alex. Relax.”
“You can’t touch me.” She squirmed away from him until she was against the wall. “Please. He’ll know.”
She had woken up from a nightmare. In it, Brian found her and Alex in bed together. In the end, Alex was dead. Brian punished her so severely that she wanted to die, too. She couldn’t let that happen.
“It was just a dream.” Alex saw terror in her eyes. “He’s gone. He won’t hurt you again.”
Danielle wanted to let the images go, but it could really happen. “He will,” she whispered.
“I told you. I can protect you.”
“No one can.” She sniffled.
He could only think of one thing to do. He pulled her to him and hugged her tightly. She shook and tried to get away, but he didn’t let go. “You don’t deserve this.” He touched her wet cheek.
She felt trapped yet safe. She had to make him leave. No one could see him in her room. “Please. Let me go.”
“No,” he softly replied. “You need this.”
After Danielle had struggled a few minutes, she gave in and just cried. His hand slowly ran up and down her back. It was meant to soothe and assure her. She shuddered as sobs took over her whole body. It was a relief to let it all out, finally. How he knew what to do and say was beyond her.
“I swear you’ll be OK.”
He held back his own tears, which wasn’t easy. His feelings for her grew every day. Her emotions really got to him. He held her closer as she finally relaxed against him and hugged him back. His eyes closed, sure that her tears meant he was right. She was a victim.
Danielle felt much better when she looked up, a long time later. “Thank you.” She didn’t know what else to say.
He put a hand through her hair. “I promise. You’ll be fine in my hands.” Then he kissed her gently on the lips.
She jumped away, eyes open wide. “Don’t.”
“But he’s gone.” Alex was confused. “I thought Friday you meant… I’m sorry.”
A loud knock on the door made Danielle jump. Then the person banged on the door. “You better be in there, Dani!” It was Diego’s voice.
“You have to hide, Alex. Please.”
Alex had no clue why she suddenly had a look of pure terror in her eyes. He reluctantly went and hid in the closet.
“What took so fucking long?” Diego pushed her out of his way and looked around the room. He checked under the beds also. “I swear I heard a guy’s voice.”
Danielle looked up. Diego was several inches taller than Brian. “No one is here. I was watching a movie.”
“On what?” He looked around the room and didn’t see a television. He quickly backhanded her. His skull ring hit her cheekbone. “Don’t fucking lie to me. Brian told me to keep you in line.”
She cringed and backed away from him as she touched her stinging cheek. “I was watching it on my laptop.” She pointed to Marie’s on her desk. There was actually a paused movie on it. She was glad she realized it.
“Guess you’re lucky, then.” Diego had hoped she couldn’t prove it. Brian gave him almost free rein to control her as he saw fit. He was dying for her to misbehave.
Alex wished he could see more than the hints the door’s slats allowed. The guy was obviously a friend of Brian’s. He wanted to know how he intended to keep her in line. Brian definitely hit Danielle, but he didn’t know how bad it was. Did he really let his friends abuse her?
When Danielle opened the closet door, she was crying again. “You have to leave. Please.”
“He doesn’t scare me.” Alex lifted her chin. “He can’t watch you all the time. Does he have a job?”
She backed away. “Yes.”
“See?”
She remembered his Screwballs shirt. That was where he worked; at the local bowling alley. A sigh escaped her lips. He must have been on his way to work. That meant he would be gone for a few hours. However, there was still Sebastian and Brian’s other friends.
“Do you wanna come see me and some of the guys play football?” He was late, but he couldn’t just leave her as such a wreck. “I won’t kiss you again.” She needed to relax. “Please.”
She looked up at him. “I—I can’t. Someone might see.”
“I’ll leave. Then you follow me after a few minutes.” He quelled the urge to touch the red mark on her face. That was the last thing she needed him to do. “I’ll be downstairs. Hope to see you.” He glanced at her shaky hands. His first priority the next day would be to find a way around Brian’s friends.
“I have homework.” It sounded like a logical excuse.
Alex sighed. “It won’t hurt to sit with Marie and talk. She always watches.”
His friends played with the third-string football players every Sunday. Marie was one of their cheerleaders. It had been the best part of his weekends for the last year. He sometimes wished one of the coaches would watch and notice him, but it was probably a moot point anyway.
Danielle watched him head for the door with a sad expression. Parties or gatherings were off limits. Brian made that clear. He didn’t want her to socialize, especially not with Alex. She had to follow his rules. The consequences were too awful to think about.
“Well, I gotta go.” Alex opened her door and checked for stalkers as stealthily as he could. No one was around. “ ’Bye.”
She waved to him then shut her eyes when the door closed. How am I going to hide my attraction to him? After a few minutes, she went to her window. They played on the grass in front of the building. She watched Alex walk toward the huddle on the far side. Watching isn’t so bad. Right?
Alex looked hot in just shorts and a T-shirt. He had nice, strong legs. His hair flew everywhere as he raced down the line with the football. He was very fast. She wondered if he played on the school’s team. Most of their conversations were about school.
Her mouth dropped when he took off his shirt and tossed it on the ground
. He looked good, with various tattoos on his arms, chest, and back. Girls talked to him as he stood in front of them. Suddenly, he looked up, and their eyes met. She jumped back.
A wide smile formed on Alex’s face. He saw Danielle peek out from behind the curtain. He thought he had seen her watching him and was glad she really was. It meant he wasn’t wrong about her feelings for him. He had felt something every time they got within a few feet of each other; something unexplainable.
When Alex ran back to his friends, Danielle moved so she could see him better. The ball went in the air. He jumped up and caught it. Silently, she cheered him on as he ran down the field and spun a few times to avoid opponents. She didn’t know much about football, but she could tell Alex was good.
Her phone went off. She jumped, and then laughed at herself. With a smile, she grabbed her phone and opened it. It wasn't easy to tear her eyes from Alex. However, she glanced at the screen.
Just got home, miss you already. I’ll call when I have some time.
Brian had driven home as fast as he could, cutting the five-hour drive down to almost four. That didn’t leave much time to pack and organize everything. He didn’t even have a spare minute to speak to Danielle. The text was all he could manage.
Diego had texted him just before he went to work, so he knew Danielle was very aware of her limited freedom. He regretted that he gave Diego so much leeway, but he knew she needed the discipline. Brian was very specific, though. Diego had a tendency to go overboard. Brian hoped he really could trust him.
Danielle shivered. It was as if Brian knew she was happy and needed to ruin it. She looked outside again. Alex poured water over his head. He was so close to her window, she saw the liquid run down the contours of his body. Then he shook his head and sprayed water all over the girls that sat on the grass nearby as he laughed.
from Pain to Pleasure (Gainesville Book 1) Page 4
