from Pain to Pleasure (Gainesville Book 1)

by Jeanisse, Bella

  Alex quickly let her hands go and held her hips down. “Danielle. Fuck. I’m cumming!”

  Danielle closed her eyes when she felt his shaft pulsate. Then she looked down at him, and their eyes met. She shook with aftershocks, overcome it still felt good.

  “That’s what it’s supposed to be like,” Alex told her, breathlessly. “Not pain.” She suddenly hugged him as she shuddered hard. He put his arms around her. “It’s OK, Danielle.” He ran his hands over her back and felt the contours of her scars. “It really should be like this. You’re OK. It’s a good feeling.”

  Her body shivered as realization came over her. I’ve been wrong about sex for so long. She was overwhelmed and baffled by the feelings Alex brought on. How good she felt, even after it had ended was foreign to her. She did not remember that same reaction the night before. Tears started to fall while it became too much to bear.

  “Babe, try and relax.” He was nervous she would bolt from the room. He had been right. She never enjoyed sex before him. He raked his fingers through her hair. “Hey, um. I need to pull out. So the condom doesn’t slip. I’ll hold you again, I promise.” Wait. Did I use a condom last night? He had no idea.

  Danielle used his body to help her move. When his dick dislodged from her body, she missed it but needed him to hold her tight. Then she lay down on the bed while he turned to his side. They held each other closely.

  “I love you so much,” he whispered. He hoped it assured her.

  Her tears tugged at his heart, but he understood them. She had never known love before. He held her head to his chest, and she sobbed. I hope she doesn’t cry every time we have sex. He soon laid his head on hers and listened to her breathing change. Within minutes, she was asleep.

  Alex relaxed and took slow breaths. He felt more satisfied than he imagined possible. He came so hard and so much, it shocked him. The condom was uncomfortable, but he didn’t want to let Danielle go. He kissed her head again then closed his eyes.

  “Forever, Danielle,” he whispered into her hair.

  Chapter 15

  Alex opened his eyes and looked around. The light in the room had changed. I must’ve fallen asleep. Danielle was still asleep, nestled in his arms. He smiled. It was hard to believe she was finally his. After all the weeks he had pursued her and had been there for her, he won. She made love to him to prove it. His smile widened as he caressed her soft cheek.

  “Brian will never knock you around again.” He looked up and tried not to let his hate take over. “Never again will anyone hurt you, Danielle.”

  A few minutes later, Danielle woke up. Fingers gently ran down her arm. She slowly looked up. Alex watched her sleep. She still felt amazing.

  Their his eyes met. She reached up and touched his cheek. “Why do I still feel it?” Her body felt tingly, and her womb continued to spasm.

  He smiled, with love in his eyes. “It’s normal. It’s a good thing.” He ran a hand through her hair. “So, this means we’re together, right?”

  “I don’t know,” Danielle admitted sadly. “I care about you so much, but I don’t know if I should really be with you without breaking up with him. That’s not fair to you, either. I don’t even know how I feel about you.” She pulled away from him and sat up. She felt guilty about the entire situation.

  Alex’s heart beat so fast; he felt like it would burst from his chest. Her words couldn’t have hurt more. He got off the bed and tossed out the condom but returned quickly. Then he crawled up on the bed and lay behind Danielle. He pulled her into his arms and gritted his teeth.

  “Whatever you want is fine with me.” It was a lie, but he knew the truth would push her away. “But I need you to talk to me. If you’re not sure, I’ll wait.”

  Danielle leaned back on him. “I’m not sure what to do yet. I feel…” She didn’t know how to describe it. “Um, well… I feel more for you, but that could be because sex never felt like that before for me. It’s confusing.”

  Alex breathed deeply. “Then I’ll wait.” He kissed the nape of her neck and held back the tears that filled his eyes. How am I gonna be around her and not remember how she made me feel this morning?

  Eyes closed; Danielle felt Alex tremble. That meant he was hurt and upset. She had the need to explain herself. Quickly, she turned over and wrapped her arms around him. “I’m sorry. There’s just so much you don’t know.”

  “So tell me.” Alex held her close. “I deserve to know why.” He couldn’t stop the words before they left his mouth. “I didn’t mean it that way.”

  She sighed. “But you do deserve the truth. It’s not going to be easy to hear.”

  He waited for her to explain. Her hands shook on his back, but she didn’t utter a word for some time. He ran a hand down her back and felt all the welts. “Did Brian do this?”

  “No.” She shivered as a memory returned. The belt slapped her shoulder, and she jumped. Alex’s soothing caress helped her relax. “He saved me from it.”

  Alex’s mouth dropped slightly. Her loyalty started to make some sense. Brian wasn’t all bad. “How’d he save you?” He asked had without thinking. His mind was overwhelmed as well.

  “He came to pick me up.” Danielle moved closer to Alex. She needed his strength to get through the tale. “My dad was in my room, whipping me again. It was much worse than normal. Usually, I got a few swats when I got a bad grade or something.” She took in a shaky breath. Alex’s hand cradled her head to give her a bit of courage. “Brian’s father told mine that I cheated on him. It wasn’t true. Brian let hid brother Jeff have me because I—I—” She shivered. “I caught Jeff jerking off and didn’t look away fast enough. Brian told him I needed to learn not to look at other men. It hurt.” She whimpered, as she recalled her attempts to fight Jeff off.

  Barely composed, Alex whispered, “I’m here.”

  She continued, sure Alex had to know the whole story. “My dad beat me until I admitted I cheated. Then he—he di—didn’t stop.” She took in a shaky breath. No one knew the story outside of those involved.

  Alex sniffled himself. He felt her pain and couldn’t hold back tears anymore. “I’m so sorry.” He hugged her tightly. “I won’t let him do it again.”

  “He never did,” Danielle softly told him then continued, “Brian heard me scream and ran to my room. By then, I was bleeding all over and going into shock. Brian grabbed the belt and smacked my dad with it a few times, shouting, ‘How do you like it, huh? How about I beat your ass to a bloody pulp?’ Then he wrapped me in my blanket and rushed me to the hospital.” She closed her eyes and felt the sting of the wounds again.

  Alex pulled her as close as he could. “Thank God he showed up.” He kissed the top of her head. He never thought he would side with Brian on anything, but Brian did the right thing that day.

  She had nestled on his bicep before she continued. “When the hospital filed a police report, he wouldn’t let me go home. I moved in with him. He had his own place…”

  Why Brian had to get that place came to her. He had finally turned on his father when he was 17. When his dad pulled at his pajama bottoms, he turned over and kicked him in the head. Then Brian flipped out and beat his father into unconsciousness. His mother threw him out when she busted into the room and saw what happened. She had never believed that his father molested him.

  Alex lifted her chin. “What aren’t you telling me?” She stared at him blankly. “You stopped talking. That usually means you’re reliving something. Tell me. Please.”

  “It’s about Brian. Not me.”

  His thumb moved over her lip. “It’s bothering you. That means it’s important to me.”

  “No one else knows, though.” She looked into his eyes. “Just me, Brian and his father… Well, his mother thinks it’s a lie.”

  Alex’s eyebrows went up. “I won’t tell anyone.”

  “His dad… touched him.” She wasn’t sure how else to say it. “Every night. He can’t even hold me naked without flashbacks.”

&nb
sp; Shock registered on Alex’s face. It was the last thing he expected to hear, but it was the final piece of the puzzle. “He got his own place to get away from his dad?” She nodded. He took a minute, unsure if he should ask. “When did he start hitting you?”

  Danielle stared at him. How did he know? “The night I moved in.” He also told her she owed him. She agreed with him. He had saved her life.

  “That’s how he controlled your behavior?” Alex knew he dug deep, and that she did not want to go there, but he needed the whole story. Someone with Brian’s past and his mental issues had to do far worse than what she had admitted to.

  She bit her lip. “Sometimes.” It was weak and unsure.

  “And the other times?” He watched her struggle. “You told me he punishes you. How?”

  She dug her nails into his back. “I can’t.”

  “Don’t do this again.” Alex was frustrated she hid so much from him. “It’s been bothering me a long time.”

  Her bottom lip trembled as she spoke. “He holds me down and—and he…” She shuddered and sniffled. It was hard not to bawl again. “He…”

  “He rapes you? Doesn’t he?”

  She nodded, and then started to sob.

  Alex cradled her body against his. “It’s OK.”

  He had known that had to be it for a while. It was the fear of sex that told him. That meant she probably had scars inside and out, mind and body. It also meant Brian was more than just a psychopath. He was a smart one. Brian knew how to scare her from afar. He made her fear other men. Then he remembered she said his friends touched her. He wondered how far they were allowed to go before she was punished for “letting" them do it.

  When Danielle had calmed down, she looked up at Alex. “If he finds out what we did, he’ll kill me.” It was something she always feared but never voiced. “He’ll wait until I’m alone.”

  He put a hand on the back of her head. “Don’t tell him about us. Just break up with him. When he comes home, I’ll stay in my room. Just scream if he does anything.”

  She lifted her head and looked at Alex. “He’s coming home for Christmas. How can I do that to him then?”

  “How can you not?” He gazed deeply into her eyes. “He’s out of his mind. You need to get away.”

  She laid her head on him again. “I’ll tell him, but we can’t be a couple until then. Can you wait for me that long?”

  “I’ll wait as long as you need me to.” His heart broke to say it, but he would rather have her someday than never.

  Chapter 16

  They returned to Gainesville late that evening. Danielle stepped out of Alex’s car. She sniffled and tried to hold back a new round of tears. Brian called while they were on the road. He swore he heard Alex in the car. Brian actually had, because Alex didn’t know why Danielle waved at him. Brian went crazy and threatened her with a beating again. As if she weren’t already frightened, he told her to expect a visit from someone but didn’t say who. The rest of the trip, she shook. She regretted all her thoughts that she could lead a normal life.

  Alex looked up at their semi-dark building. The entire trip home he thought about the time he spent with Danielle up in Tennessee. He had been happy that she finally decided she would leave Brian for him although it would take a few months. Then that dickhead had to call her and shake everything up. He could hear Brian shouting. She was hysterical afterward. She wouldn’t tell him what Brian said. They had spent the last three hours in silence.

  A metallic blue 1969 Chevy Nova was parked in front of their building, and it distracted Danielle. She stared at it. It wasn’t a common car. She swore she had seen it before but couldn’t place it. No one was inside. She tried to rack her brain to remember who owned one that she knew. It’s almost 11:00 at night. Who could it be?

  Marie noticed the tension between Alex and Danielle. She wished there was something she could do. She felt Danielle needed him to heal. At least they fucked. She grinned and imagined Alex naked. Logan was a good lay, but he was no Alex. She had heard Alex could make a woman come so hard she couldn’t move afterward.

  Logan grabbed Marie’s bag from the trunk. He saw her glance at Alex. He was glad Alex had promised he wouldn’t touch her. At that point, he knew Alex only had eyes for Danielle though.

  “Danielle, you OK?” Logan looked down at her pale face.

  She looked back at the Nova again. She remembered who had a car like that. Jeff. However, those tacky fuzzy dice hung from his rearview mirror. The car in front of them didn’t have those. It couldn’t be his. She nodded at Logan, not sure she was. For some reason, she felt eyes on her.

  Alex caressed Danielle’s cheek with a finger. “What’s wrong?” He could see fear in her eyes. “What scared you?”

  “Nothing.” She pulled away and headed to the building’s entrance.

  Everyone soon followed Danielle. As they walked, Alex scanned their surroundings to find what spooked her. He didn’t see anyone or anything. He stayed back, in case someone was watching. The last thing Danielle needed was someone to tell Brian he was with her.

  When they got to their end of the hallway, no one else was around. Alex picked up Danielle’s hand. “You’re safe, Danielle.”

  She looked up at him. “You sure?”

  “Yes.” He glanced around quickly, and then kissed her lips softly.

  Marie opened their door. “No one will hurt you with all of us around.” She walked into the room and put her purse down on her desk. “How about we all sleep in here? Will you feel safe then?”

  Alex set Danielle’s bag by the closet and watched Danielle slowly sit on her bed. She was obviously nervous. He hoped she agreed to Marie’s idea. When she hadn’t responded after several minutes, he sat next to her and picked up her hand.

  “Trust me to keep you safe. Please.” He lifted her chin and looked into her eyes. “I won’t let you get hurt. I’ll protect you.”

  She shook her head. “We’re not together. This isn’t right.”

  “You need me.” He needed her as well, but she didn’t need to worry about that.

  Danielle looked around. “This doesn’t mean we’re a couple. OK?”

  “Fine.” Alex glanced at Logan. “No one will hurt you tonight.” He rubbed her nose with his. “I won’t leave you.”

  Logan sat on Marie’s bed. “I’ll be here, too.” He saw her shaky hands and the fear in her eyes.

  Danielle nodded. She finally believed that nothing bad could happen with the three of them there. “I’m going to get changed.”

  “Wait. I’ll go with you,” Marie announced. She also worried someone had watched them outside.

  When everyone was in bed and the lights were out, Alex pulled Danielle close and whispered, “I love you, beautiful.” He kissed her lips twice, and then groaned softly as his dick started to harden. He slowly ran a hand down her back. Her pajamas were such soft cotton. “You make me so crazy.”

  She felt his partial erection. “No, Alex.” She pushed him back.

  “Relax. I’m not gonna try to have sex with you.” He exhaled slowly. “Please trust me.”

  “Sorry.” She closed her eyes and tried to sleep.

  Alex turned back to glance at the bed across the room. The quiet moans and movement he could see told him they were fucking. He didn’t think it was fair but knew Danielle was not remotely in the mood. If she were, he doubted she would let him do anything. He could care less if Marie and Logan watched him make love to her, but she was shy.

  Danielle relaxed when Alex kissed her head. She couldn’t shake Brian’s words, though. Who is he going to send? What are they going to do? What if they see Alex in my bed? She took in a shaky breath. So many images came to her. It quickly overwhelmed her.

  “I’m right here,” Alex assured her. “Please don’t be scared. No matter who he gets to spy for him, I won’t let them hurt you.” Her hands on his bare back trembled. He felt so bad he couldn’t soothe her. Slowly, he ran his fingers through her hair. “Clo
se your eyes and imagine what it’ll be like when he’s out of your life.” He hoped she still planned to leave him.

  Her hands balled up. Then she did as Alex said. Without Brian, she would be free to date Alex. She smiled and held him tightly. The last few stressful hours faded while she pretended time had flown by, and Brian was already history.

  * * *

  “No, Brian!” Danielle woke up with a scream. She had never had a nightmare so real.

  Alex immediately wrapped his arms around her. “It was just a dream.” He rubbed her back. “It’s OK, babe.”

  Danielle stuttered, “He—he—he killed… you… Please, Alex. He can’t know. Please.”

  “She OK?” Logan asked. He still held Marie, who was asleep.

  Alex looked over at his roommate. “Nightmare. She’s OK. Go back to sleep.” Suddenly there was a loud rap on the door. Logan and Alex glanced at each other with wide eyes. “Oh shit,” Alex whispered. He didn’t want his voice to be heard.

  “Danielle, open up!”

  Alex did not recognize the voice.

  Danielle did. “No. Don’t let him. Please. Please,” she begged Alex, terrified.

  “It’ll be OK. I got an idea. Go to the door.” Alex quietly got out of bed and crossed the room. “Duck under the covers,” he told Logan, who complied. Alex climbed into Marie’s bed.

  Marie woke up and felt the two male bodies that surrounded her. She grinned, sleepily, and then met Alex’s eyes. “Funny meeting you here.”

  Alex put a finger over her lips. “Shh. One of Brian’s friends is at the door.” He tried not to touch any part of Marie’s naked body.

  She looked past him to Danielle, who slowly made her way to the door. “You better kiss me, so it looks good.”

  “Open the door, Danielle. Now!”