Rowan's Lady

by Tisdale Suzan

  Lily giggled at his retort.

  “Now, go to Thomas,” Rowan told her, giving his head a nod in Thomas’ direction.

  Lily slid off the log and ran to Thomas for which Rowan was exceedingly grateful. He was in no mood to argue with his daughter. He imagined it would be days if not weeks before things returned to normal for any of them.

  After he made certain Lily was in Thomas’ good care, Rowan went to the tent that had been erected for Lady Arline and Lily to use. Without thinking to ask for permission to enter, he lifted the flap and stepped inside. It took a few moments for his eyes to adjust to the darkness of the tent. He was not prepared for the sight before him.

  “God’s bones!” he exclaimed, startling Lady Arline.

  She was sitting in the corner of the tent with a bowl of water on the ground in front of her. She had pulled the top of her chemise down to her waist and was washing her neck with a wet cloth.

  It was not her nakedness that caused his outburst. It was the large bruise that ran from under her arm down to her tiny waist that made him curse. It was dark purple and wrapped its way around her lower back and stomach. Rowan swallowed back the anger that sprang from his stomach.

  Arline’s eyes grew as wide as trenchers when she heard his voice. She covered her breasts with her arms. “Do ye no’ give a woman a warnin’ that ye be comin’ into her tent?” she shouted at him. Her skin warmed and went crimson. “Have ye no manners? Turn around, man!”

  Rowan shook his head in disbelief. “Ye be injured, lass.”

  “I ken that, Rowan! Now turn around!”

  “Ye need someone to look at yer ribs,” he told her as he took a few steps forward.

  Her eyes grew wider, astonished that he refused to leave. She was half naked for heaven’s sake! Could he not see that?

  “Me ribs are fine. Now I ask ye again to leave!”

  He wasn’t about to. He took another step and knelt down beside her. “Nay, I’ll no’ leave until I’ve checked to see if yer ribs are broken.” He reached out to touch her.

  Arline smacked his hand away angrily. “Ye’ll do no such thing, Rowan Graham!”

  Rowan paused and looked into her very frightened eyes. “Let me see,” he said sternly.

  “Nay! Go away!”

  “Nay.”

  “Yer a no’ a man, yer a beast!” she seethed, wrapping her hands and arms tighter around her torso.

  Rowan chuckled and shook his head. “That may be, lass. Ye needn’t worry that I’ll seduce ye. I simply want to make certain ye have no broken ribs.”

  Her eyes turned to slits and her chest heaved in and out. “Och! As if I’d let ye seduce me anymore than I’d let yet grope about me person lookin’ fer broken ribs that are no’ there!”

  Rowan bent his head forward to whisper in her ear. “Are ye worried ye might enjoy my seducin’ ways?”

  Her mouth fell open but her words were lodged somewhere in her throat. Extracting them was impossible at the moment for he chose that moment to begin gently examining her ribs with his hot fingers. Too stunned to move or to speak, she sat as still as a stone while her skin turned to gooseflesh.

  There were a thousands things she wanted to say to him and twice as many things she wanted to do to him. He was close enough to kiss, close enough to smell his skin, all clean and manly. Close enough that were she one of those wanton harlots Minnie had warned her about, she could have thrown him on his back and had her way with him.

  “I do believe ye are at a loss fer words, lass,” Rowan whispered in her ear as he continued to gently press around her ribs. “And I do no’ think yer breathin’ proper.”

  Breath? Think? Speak? All impossible to do when he was touching her. Granted, his touch was meant to inspect for broken ribs, but, she was certain if he were touching her for the purposes of seduction, her heart would have stopped all together.

  Beast! Brute! Bastard! Beautiful, handsome, dastardly man! Aye, if her tongue was not so dry and her body not all tingly and her mind not filled with all sorts of lustful thoughts, she would have called him all those things and slapped him silly for making her feel so unsettled and confused.

  Time seemed to stand still. She felt lightheaded and her lungs felt as though they would burst at any moment. She had to will herself to take in a breath of air and then another and another.

  “I do no’ think ye have any broken ribs, lass,” Rowan said as he grabbed the drying cloth that lay next to her. Carefully, he unfolded it and wrapped it around her shoulders.

  For a brief moment, she felt quite disappointed that his fingers were no longer on her skin.

  He sat down a few steps away from her. “Why did ye no’ tell me ye were so injured?”

  Odd. The further away he was from her the easier it was to speak. But let him get close enough to touch and she turned into a mindless puddle of goo.

  “Ye kent I was injured,” she said, attempting to sound as nonchalant as possible. Her stomach was still all a flutter and she had to focus on speaking coherently.

  “Aye, but I didna ken it was that bad. Ye should have said somethin’. We could have slowed our pace and allowed ye time to rest.”

  While that would have indeed been a glorious luxury it was one they could not have afforded. “And risk Garrick’s men catchin’ up to us? I think no’, me laird. Stopping would have served no purpose other than riskin’ yer life, Lily’s life, and the lives of yer men. A few bruises were no’ worth takin’ such a risk over.”

  “’Tis more than just a few bruises, lass. Ye’ve had the hell beat out of ye.”

  Arline took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. “We could go ’round and ’round about this but ’twill change nothin’, me laird. What’s done is done. We’re now safely on yer lands and ye’ll be home soon.”

  He knew she was right. Talking about it would change nothing. “Aye. But in the future, I’d appreciate it if ye’d no’ try to be so damned noble and tell me if yer needin’ something.”

  Future? What future? As soon as she could get her funds from her father she would be on her way to Inverness to get her sisters. “I plan on never bein’ in such a predicament as this, ever again, me laird.”

  Each time he saw her swollen and bruised cheek, it made his hatred for Garrick Blackthorn increase a hundred fold. She had risked her health, her own life, for Lily. Rowan realized that the only other woman he knew who would have done such a thing was Kate.

  Arline looked so damned proud and vulnerable at the same time. The candlelight flickered in her green eyes and cast streaks of gold in her auburn hair. She was a beautiful woman, albeit a bit on the thin side. Nothing that a few good meals could not cure.

  There was a recognizable longing in the green eyes that stared back at him. As much as he wanted to take her in his arms and begin kissing her from the top of her head to the tips of her toes, he knew he could not. They were both in far too vulnerable a state to start down that road.

  He held his breath, gave her a quick nod and quit the tent before he did just that.

  Night had fallen, their bellies were full as they sat around the fire, decidedly glad to be back on their own lands. No longer worried about his daughter’s safety, or Lady Arline’s, Rowan was able to relax for the first time in weeks.

  “When will we be home, da?” Lily had asked that question a hundred times over the last few days. He would not chastise her for asking because it was better than her pleading with him for sisters.

  Rowan sighed as he pressed her head against his chest. “I’ve told ye again and again, we’ll be home before the noonin’ meal on the morrow.”

  Lily yawned, thrust her thumb into her mouth and began twisting a ringlet of hair around her finger. “And the mean man won’t bother us anymore?”

  Rowan’s stomach lurched as if he’d just been kicked. “Nay, Lily. Ye needn’t worry over him ever again.”

  “I want to sleep with ye, da,” she said quietly.

  He could not rightly blame her for not wa
nting to be alone at night. In truth, he did not want his daughter out of his sight. “Ye can sleep in my room fer a time after we are home.”

  “But I want to sleep with ye tonight.”

  Rowan tilted his head to get a better look at her face. “Tonight? Nay, not this night. Ye’ll be sleepin’ in the tent with Lady Arline.”

  Tears filled Lily’s tired eyes. “But I’m afraid, da.”

  His stomach tightened again. “I’ll be right outside the tent, lass. I promise, I’ll no leave ye.”

  Arline had been fighting sleep, sitting next to Rowan and Lily. She yawned and tried to stretch, but it was too painful. “I can sleep outside the tent, Rowan. Lily needs her da. ’Twill be all right.”

  “I want Lady Arline too!” Lily cried.

  There was no way on God’s earth he was going to allow Arline to sleep on the cold ground. “Nay,” he said to Arline. “Ye’ll sleep in the tent, with Lily. I’ll be right outside it.”

  Large tears streamed down Lily’s face. These were not the tears of a child not getting her way. These were real tears of distress and fear. Rowan wrapped his arms more tightly around her and began to whisper words of comfort in her ear. “Lily, I promise I’ll no’ leave ye.”

  “But what if the mean man comes again? What if he takes me and Lady Arline again?” she began to sob uncontrollably.

  Rowan looked to Lady Arline for help, but she had tears in her own eyes. “Lass,” he said to Arline. “Why are ye cryin’?”

  Arline wiped her cheeks with the backs of her hands and choked back her tears. Her words came spilling out almost as rapidly as her tears. “Because Lily is cryin’! She’s scared and tired and cold and she’s missed her father and she should never have been put in this situation to begin with! Garrick Blackthorn is an evil bastard and I hope he someday burns in hell!”

  One crying female was enough to set his teeth on edge. Two crying women was more than any one man could handle. God’s teeth! They’re going to be the death of me.

  “Wheesht, now lassies,” Rowan said as he cradled Lily in one arm and Arline in the other. “I swear, ye needn’t worry over anythin’. Me and me men will be guardin’ ye with our lives, I swear it.”

  His promises and soothing words fell on deaf ears. In a matter of moments, both Lily and Arline were inconsolable. Lily reached out and grabbed Arline around her neck and scooted to her lap.

  “I wanna go home!” Lily cried. “I wanna sleep in yer bed!”

  Arline had no home to cry for, no home that she longed for or missed. She had nowhere on this earth to go to and that realization hit her hard. There was no way to hold back the flood of tears.

  Thomas, Frederick, Daniel and several of the other men jumped to their feet, looking at Rowan as if he were some grand bastard.

  “Rowan,” Thomas said, sounding quite alarmed and looking even more distressed. “Lily simply wants her da!”

  “Aye,” Frederick added. “Sleep with the babe, Rowan. She’s frightened.”

  “But she wants both me and Lady Arline!” Rowan tried to explain.

  “And ye canna sleep in the same tent with Lily?” Thomas asked as if Rowan had lost complete control of his mind.

  “Well, nay! ’Twould be inappropriate!”

  “Och! No one here thinks ye’d be tryin’ to seduce the lady whilst yer child is sleepin’ next to ye!” Thomas said. He continued to look at Rowan as if he had lost his mind.

  “But--”

  Arline spoke up. “Are ye worried I’ll seduce ye?” she said through sobs.

  Rowan had reached the end of his patience. He shook his head in frustration, took his crying child from Arline and stood. “Fine! But if yer reputation is ruined ye’ll have no one to blame but yerself!”

  Shifting Lily into one arm, he held out the other for Arline. She sobbed, wiped away more tears and took his hand. Lily continued to cry as Rowan led them to the tent. “Wheest, Lily,” Rowan whispered. “I’ll be sleepin’ in the tent with ye and so will Lady Arline.”

  Wiping her face and nose on Rowan’s tunic, Lily sniffled and sobbed out a thank you. Thomas had beat them to the tent and now stood at the entrance, holding the flap open as if he were some Roman squire. Thomas tossed a wink toward Rowan before standing at full attention, with his shoulders thrown back and eyes forward. Thomas saluted the trio as they walked inside.

  Rowan found little humor in Thomas’ dramatics. In truth, he had very little good humor left in him at the moment.

  Arline removed her cloak and stepped to the spot furthest from the flap of the tent. She lifted the furs, slid in between them and held the fur up, waiting for Rowan to set Lily down.

  At the sight of Arline laying on the pallet, with her torn bodice exposing her chemise and bare skin, the fur in her hand, smiling and waiting, made his groin ache with want. He stood, with his child in his arms, staring down at the beautiful woman and wished he could hand Lily off to Thomas for a few hours.

  Swallowing down the guilt-ridden lust, Rowan cleared his throat and dropped to his knees. Lily scrambled from his arms and nestled in next to Arline. Two smiling faces looked up at him.

  The two of them looked happier than a bird with two worms.

  Nay, they hadn’t played him like a fine flute or harp. They were simply two exhausted individuals who had been through far too much in the past weeks.

  He felt more than a bit of pride in the fact that they needed him to chase away their fears. He was a comfort to them and in return, he felt his own sense of comfort in knowing that he was needed.

  Unfastening his belt, he laid his broadsword down next to the flap of the tent and blew out the candle that sat on the small table. He felt his way around in the dark until he found his daughter’s head. She giggled as he slid in under the warm furs. Lily grabbed his neck and pulled until he scooted closer to her and gave him a kiss on his cheek.

  “I love ye, da,” Lily whispered around the thumb in her mouth. Rowan kissed the top of her head. “I love ye, Lily Graham. Now, wheesht and let us get some sleep.”

  Lily snuggled in closer and was soon fast asleep.

  Rowan lay with his hand resting on Lily’s chest, listening to the gentle sounds of his daughter’s soft breathing. Occasionally, she would shudder a sigh, the remnants from all her earlier tears and sobs. Occasionally, Lady Arline would mimic Lily’s shudders.

  Arline’s hand was resting on Lily’s stomach, just a hair’s breadth away from Rowan’s. He had to swallow back his own tears.

  Before Kate had died, they would lay in bed with Lily between them. Just looking at her, watching her breathe and coo and smile back at them. A week before Kate became ill, Lily laughed for the first time. The memory was as vivid as the moment it had happened. He had been making silly faces and noises at Lily. When he had made a particular silly sound, the babe laughed. Kate begged him to do it again. For nearly an hour he had repeated the silly words and sounds, just to hear both Lily and Kate laugh.

  That was how his life should have remained. With him and Kate raising Lily together. With Kate’s laughter filling the keep to the rafters. The two of them, together, chasing away Lily’s bad dreams.

  His memories were broken by the sleepy sound of Arline’s voice. “Thank ye, Rowan,” she whispered as she snuggled closer to Lily.

  Their hands touched then. Desperately he wanted to take Arline’s hand in his, just to hold. ’Twasn’t a lust-filled desire, but one born of a broken heart. Until this moment he hadn’t realized just how badly he missed Kate and how large the void was left by her passing.

  As his skin touched Arline’s hand, ever so slightly, it felt as though his heart had been ripped from his chest and thrown against a wall. That was how he had felt when Kate had died, with a hole in his chest where his heart had once beat happily.

  Rowan’s voice was lodged in his throat and he could not respond to Arline. He swallowed back the tears of remorse and regret. Tamped it all down, hiding it deep in his belly. If he tried to utter any words, he kn
ew he would break down and sob like a bairn, like Lily and Arline had done earlier. He remained mute, unable to move, to speak. With his eyes closed, he forced his lungs to take in air. He would save his tears for later, for a time when he was alone in his bedchamber back at his keep.

  Rowan was not certain he enjoyed the stillness of the night for it made it made it far too easy to think. The sounds of crickets and tree frogs carried on the air outside the tent. He could hear the low, muffled voices of his men as they sat around the crackling fire. Lily’s breathing blended with Arline’s and his own gave him a sense of something long forgotten.

  In that moment between wakefulness and sleep, a sense of peace fell over Rowan, draping over his soul and heart. How long had it been, since he’d felt at peace with anything?

  ’Twas then that he realized Lady Arline had draped her hand over his. Long slender fingers curled and tucked into his palm. Whether he dreamt or not, he neither knew nor cared. He no longer felt quite so bereft and alone. The hole in his chest, left empty, cold, and bare for four long years, no longer felt quite so empty.

  Rowan was roused from his sleep at some point near dawn by his daughter climbing over him. Lily was whispering that she had to pee. Rowan was about to grudgingly open his eyes to help her when he heard Frederick speaking to her in hushed tones. “Let yer da sleep a bit, wee one. Uncle Frederick will help ye.”

  Knowing Lily was in good hands, Rowan kept his eyes closed and drifted back to sleep. He’d reward Fredrick handsomely for his kindness later. The worry of the past weeks, the relief at finding his daughter not only alive, but well-cared for, and their subsequent late night escape had finally caught up with him.

  Sometime later, he woke to the sound of his daughter laughing just outside their tent. Remembering she was in good hands, he did not rush to leave the warm pallet, the furs, or the wonderfully warm body that was lying next to him. Her exquisitely round derrière nestled into a groin that was quite happy to have it there. Her soft back snuggled nicely against his torso and she was using his other arm as a pillow. As the fog of sleep slowly lifted, he realized his arm was wrapped around her waist with his hand tucked quite nicely under her side, holding her tightly.