This Love of Mine (Raine Series #1)

by Bennett, Amanda

  Chapter 19

  Kayla

  His hot tender kisses touched me in places I had never felt before. Every ounce of me was a live wire, as electricity sparked with every touch. The pain in my leg no longer existed and all I could think about was Madison and his tender touch. My back was still pressed firmly against the wooden structure, and at one point, I worried about splinters, but now, now I welcomed any splinters I could get. They would serve as a reminder of the most magical night I would ever have.

  His lips left hot, wet trails everywhere they touched my bare skin. Our lips had yet to break contact, and I deepened them as much as our bodies would allow. I needed to be closer to him. I needed skin on skin contact, and I needed it now. His lips moved down my neck and across my collarbone, making me throw my head back in pure ecstasy.

  My deft fingers found their way to the buttons on his shirt, and I didn't spare a second undoing every last one of them. When I got to the last button, I pushed his shirt down past his shoulders, catching his emerald eyes in my line of sight. Without a word, I nodded my head yes, to let him know this was what I really wanted. There was no doubt about it. Madison Raine was who I wanted on my skin, in my mind and inside of me.

  He slowly lowered me to my feet, and took a step back. His glare left heated trails down every inch of my exposed skin. I watched him intently as he reached forward for the hem of my dress. His fingers slid back and forth a few times, before finally pulling it up and over my head in one fluid motion.

  I looked abashed as he stood back admiring every inch and crevasse of my long, thin figure. I kept my hands at my sides, not wanting him to see the blush that was quickly making its presence known. When his eyes returned to my face, I felt my cheeks blaze. He inched closer to me and reached for my hands. He tucked them tightly into his, pulling them to his mouth placing a kiss upon each one. My eyes fluttered shut and when they opened, his were mere inches from mine. I could feel his warm minty breath against my skin, and I broke out in goose bumps. I could feel my excitement pooling in my panties, and I couldn't wait any longer. I reached for his undershirt and quickly discarded it onto the ground below us.

  Now it was my turn to stare. I took a step back, admiring every last inch of his toned and muscular frame. His shoulders were so broad and capable. The colors in his tattoos seemed to intensify under the moonlight and without thought, I licked my bottom lip. I wanted to taste him, to feel him, to own him. His chest and abs were well defined and formed a perfect v that disappeared past his waistband. Goddamn this guy was hot. When my eyes eventually made their way back up to his face, he wore a wicked little grin. I knew exactly what he was thinkin', and yes, I did like what I was seeing, but I needed more.

  I reached out for the waist of his pants, but he pushed my hand away and took a step back. My hands instinctively tried to cover every exposed part of my body. I half expected him to toss my clothes back at me, but he just smiled and let out a small laugh.

  "Don't cover up, darlin'. I want to see all of you."

  I shook my head in disbelief. He was saying one thing, but his body language and posture were sayin' something completely different. I shook my head, letting my hands fall away from my exposed skin. He smiled a wry smile and reached down for his shirts. I was about to get worried as to what he was doing, but then my heart practically melted when I realized that he was making a makeshift blanket for us.

  I looked down at him and smiled a wide toothy smile. Could he get any god damn better?

  The answer was yes.

  He sat back on his knees reaching out for my hand. I took it willingly, letting him guide me to the ground and onto my back. Seconds later, he was hovering over me staring directly into my hooded blue eyes. His elbows were placed on either side of my head and his fingertips slowly pushed back strands of loose hair, all the while never breaking any physical contact.

  Just when I thought I would spontaneously combust, his lips touched mine and the ease of it all, floated through my body. Our kisses started out slow but quickly grew to a more aggressive pace. I trailed my fingers down his bare, sun-kissed skin on his exposed back. Every taut muscle beneath my fingers made me weak in the knees, and I was suddenly very grateful to be on my back.

  His feather like kisses touched every inch of skin, as he worked his way down my body. His long fingers slipped beneath my back, unhinging my bra and then his hands wrapped around the thin fabric, pulling it away from my skin. I heard him suck in a tightly strained breath.

  My fingers dipped below his waistband in the back, slowly making their way around the front. Before I went for the buttons, I slipped my hand down over the tight denim and felt just exactly how much I affected him. I let out a small moan at the size and length of what I was secretly hoping would be inside of me shortly. Madison's chest was close enough to my ear now, that I could hear the stifled moan he let out as my hand made contact with him through the thick fabric. I smiled, knowing that it was all me that had made him this way.

  My hand slid across the fabric as it made its way to the buttons, holding him captive. I was eager to free him and to feel his freedom. I needed this. He was making me feel wanted and loved and it was a feeling so foreign to me that I almost cried. His hands skimmed every inch of my skin, coming to rest on the thin lace panties I was wearing. His eyes shot open as a small smile stretched from corner to corner. His fingers slightly grazed the outside of the fabric and I knew he could feel my excitement growing.

  My eyes drifted shut as his fingers dipped between my skin and the fabric. He pulled them down achingly slow. I wasn't used to the tenderness that he was offering. I was used to rough, uninhibited primal movements. Wren had never been gentle with me, not even the first time. Momma always told me when I was younger, to not let just anyone have my gift, as she called it. She told me to be wise and think long and hard about who would be sharing that moment with me. If she only knew that I was all but forced my first time, although right now, I don't think she would care.

  I was now as naked as the day I was born, and for once I didn't feel ashamed or embarrassed. I felt wanted, adored and special. The look in his eyes let me know that this meant just as much to him as it was going to mean to me. I'm sure Madison had his fair share of women, but in this moment everything else ceased to exist. Every fear, worry, insecurity seemed to just melted away. I was ready to give myself, all of myself to Madison in this moment, everything else be damned.

  I heard his jeans falling to the ground as he stood in front of me. I cracked open an eyelid to catch a glimpse of this amazingly, gorgeous man in front of me when he caught me staring. Heat blazed through my cheeks as his eyes caught mine. He was standing in front of me, exposed for all the world to see and my eyes gobbled up every last inch of his gloriously built body.

  He was perfection, in every sense of the word. Just as I was getting my fill, he knelt down between my legs and kissed the tops of my knees. Without hesitation, I sat up and gripped the back of his neck, pulling his mouth to mine. I needed to feel closer to him and at this point in time, he was too far away. I needed to feel the heat of his body radiating through mine.

  His arms clasped together around my back, as he lowered us both down to the ground again. Every touch was calculated and gentle, and had me yearning for more. Just when I thought my high of feeling his bare skin against mine couldn't get any better, and then I felt him slowly pushing into me. I gasped at the contact and found myself staring directly into a sea of green. His eyes were clouded with lust and desire and I smiled knowing it was all for me. My heart rate picked up as he pushed completely into me, in one swift but loving motion. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, breathing in his intoxicating scent.

  Our breathing grew ragged and fast with every movement and I could feel myself reaching my release. I let my head fall back as I relished in the feel of having him so close to me, so bare and vulnerable to his every touch. His lips found my ear and he whispered the one thing that could become my undoing.

/>   "I need you, Kayla."

  I let out an audible sigh as I let his words sink into every ounce of me. I found myself speechless. I honestly had never needed or wanted to need anybody. But I wanted to need Madison.

  "I need you too, Madison."

  We found our release together a short while later, and I couldn't have been happier with the decision that we had made. I would never regret this night, even if we never saw each other again.

  It had turned into the perfect date, even with all of the drama that was sure to ensue when I returned to my grandparent's house. Madison moved to my side, but never broke contact. Some part of him was always touching me. His fingers traced small circles across my belly, and I knew that even though this moment was going to end shortly, he was mine. I had touched this man in a way that no other girl, could or had. I felt it in his touch, in his words, and in the way he moved when he was around me.

  I had become a part of this man, just as he had became a part of me. Wherever we ended up in this life, Madison Raine would always have a part of me that no other man could ever have. He was my future, whether it be now or later, he was my whole world. And, I would stop at nothing to make sure he knew, despite the distance or heartache.

  Chapter 20

  Madison

  I wasn't sure how long we had been out here, but it could have been forever and I wouldn't have cared. Having Kayla next to me, was heaven on earth and I wasn't ready to return to hell. She was everything I never knew I wanted in someone. She was caring, compassionate and loving, even when she had never been shown that. With everything she had and would have to deal with, she still found it in her heart and soul to want me, without question. I was falling for this amazingly beautiful girl next to me, with every ounce of my being. Regardless of where we ended up, she would be mine one day, forever.

  Since the first day I laid eyes on her, she had touched something inside of me that I never knew existed. She showed me how to care for someone completely. I knew better than anyone, that it had only been a couple of days, and I knew there were skeptical people who would question our relationship and how fast it had affected us, but those people didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was how Kayla and I felt.

  I gently pulled her dress over her body, covering up the girl that I never wanted another man seeing. She was now mine, in every sense of the word.

  I grabbed my cell phone out of my pocket to check the time. I noticed that it was now encroaching on one thirty in the morning and I wondered if her mother would come looking for her. Granted, where we were, you would have to search pretty damn hard to find us, but even so, I'm sure she could if she tried. As much as I would have given my right arm to stay in this exact moment, I didn't want her to have to take the brunt of any more acts of violence. I wanted to protect her, and I know I should've found a way to do so, but I was at a loss as to what to do.

  I let my finger trace the thin line of her jaw, before leaning down and pressing my longing lips against hers. She smiled against my mouth, but returned the action with every emotion she had in her. When we pulled apart, my mouth opened and the words that followed were ones that I hadn't clearly thought out. They still carried the full weight of what I meant, but not thought out all the same.

  "Come with me, pretty girl." I pushed back a strand of hair as I stared deeply into her eyes. I saw the shock of what I asked cross her face, but it was very brief and if I had blinked, I most likely would've missed it.

  "You know I can't, cowboy. As much as I wish I could, I just can't." I could see the disappointment settle into her creased brow.

  I brushed my finger over the lines of worry between her eyes and she finally gave me another breath taking smile. "You're going back anyway, why can't you go back with me?"

  "I have too much baggage, no man should ever have to deal with that. Sure there is my momma, but if she is here after what she did, he will be showing up here sooner than later." She clutched her dress to her chest as she sat up to look me straight in the eyes. "Trust me, I want more than anything to be with you. You make me feel things I didn't even know were possible. You make me feel alive, for the first time in as long as I can remember. But, Wren doesn't just give up, and neither does my momma. I'm still in high school. You need to go to school, play ball, and make something of yourself. You don't need to be tied down to someone like me."

  I couldn't believe the words that were coming out of her heavenly mouth. How could she think so little of herself, when all I thought was the world of her? Why couldn't she see the amazingly brave and strong girl that I see? Damn it, no! I was not going to let this happen without fighting for her.

  Kayla was now standing in front of me, fully clothed. She was pulling her hair back into a low ponytail when I stood to meet her.

  "Can't we just give this a chance?" My hands were settled loosely on her shoulders as I hung my head in defeat.

  "Cowboy, you got your whole life ahead of ya. I'm just a blip on your radar."

  I knew she didn't mean the things she was saying, but it didn't hurt any less. After what we had just done, I thought it would bring her closer to me, not push her a million miles away.

  "But I care for you so much Kayla, doesn't that mean anything?"

  "More than you could ever know." she whispered. "But it doesn't change the fact that, you deserve more."

  "I deserve you."

  "You deserve someone who can give as much as you can. I'm just not there yet." She started to make her way back towards her house. I had to run to catch up to her, and I gripped her elbow, turning her around to face me.

  "Damn it Kayla, I deserve YOU! What part of that don't you get? I'm practically begging you to give me a chance." I pushed my hands back through my hair trying to regain my composure. "Please Kayla, just stay. Stay with me for another week and then we can figure this all out. Don't leave me, not now, not after what just happened." My mind was ready to explode. Who the hell was this girl in front of me and why was she pushing me so far away when mere minutes ago, she was all but climbing inside of me?

  Her warm, delicate hand pressed palm down against my chest, right above my heart. And when she spoke the next string of words, my heart literally broke beneath her touch.

  "Madison, I can't. Move on, please. I'm begging you not to come after me. If we were meant to be, then we will find our way to one another." She pressed a chaste kiss to my lips and then she was gone. I stood speechless and emotionless, as I watched her disappear into the darkness. I wanted to run after her. I wanted to hold her against me and not take no for an answer, but I couldn't. Something inside of me had died a little bit, and I knew this was a battle that I would never win. I pulled a smoke out of my front pocket and lit up. With every drag, I found myself growing increasingly angry.

  I was confused, hurt, broken hearted and ready to kill that fucker Wren and her mother. How could the strong girl I know, not be strong enough to stand up to the one woman who should never be left around her daughter alone? I wanted to scream. I wanted to hurt somebody and make it count. I started making my way towards my grandparent's house, when I heard a truck start in the distance. I pushed myself to keep heading towards the house, to not stop and go running after her.

  I lit another smoke with the butt end of the previous one as I stepped up onto the back porch. I never smoked near the house, and my grandfather had always warned me that if he ever saw me, he would have my ass. Well he could have it tonight, he could rip me apart and tear me down, and I wouldn't give a shit. Not now.

  I threw myself into the rocking chair and propped my feet up on the railing that wrapped around the porch. I took a long pull on my smoke and slowly let the air out, making small rings as I exhaled. It had taken all but ten minutes for me to completely shut down every emotion swimming inside of me. I lit up one smoke after another and as I neared the end of my pack, I heard a loud thump come from beside me. I didn't have to look up to know that my grandfather was standing right next to me, with a scowl upon his face th
at would have any man shaking in his boots.

  "Can I help you?" I growled.

  "Can I sit by you?"

  I looked up at my grandfather in utter shock. "Excuse me?"

  "Can I sit by you, son?" His voice was low and controlled. Not at all like the man I was expecting to come and have a stern talkin' with me.

  "Um...sure." I pulled my feet down from the banister and pulled them into the chair, allowing my grandfather to pass. "Is everything alright, Sir?" I was suddenly worried and very cautious of the things coming out of my mouth. As pissed as I was, I wasn't in any mood to hurt the one man who had given me my life back.

  "I can see you love that girl. I may be old, but I'm not blind. I knew the minute I told ya to stay away, that you would do the exact opposite. But, that girl has issues beyond your range of help."

  "I'm startin' to see that, Sir. The only problem is, is I care for her more than any other girl I have ever known." I watched as the look on my grandfather's face went from understanding to excitement.

  "Now I reckon that was definitely not what I was expectin' to hear come from ya. When did all this happen?"

  "It doesn't matter anymore. She's leavin' tonight with her mother, of all people."

  "I'm sorry, what did ya say?"

  My grandfather was now in a very hyper aware position and I swear he looked as though he was going to jump over the railing and run towards the James' property.

  "Her momma showed up when I dropped her off tonight. She was waitin' on the porch. I waited forever in the field for her to show up, but I watched as every light turned off and then, well, then she showed up. She said she has to go. Her momma told her that her grandparents called her to come get her. I dunno, Sir. I don't fuckin' get it!" I half shouted.

  "Language, son."