Transgression

by Brandy C. Ange

  Its black, snake-like face convulsed hysterically as the gurgling sound vibrated in its thick throat. Its eyes, small and beady in comparison to its body– which was twice the size of Shael’s– filled with victory and euphoria. It didn’t even put up a fight; Shael lunged forward and slit its massive throat. Instead of blood, the cement where they stood flooded with a boiling sticky substance, which soon turned to ashes and blew away. The demon had already won, and it knew it.

  Shael ran back to the car. He noticed the open car door casting a faint glow along the pavement from the interior light. He ran around to the front of the ATM and found Anna standing white faced. She wasn’t alone. The man behind her looked to be about forty, and perhaps homeless. He had a ragged beard and, from the looks of it, hadn’t showered in weeks. He held a gun in his hand; shiny, black, and against Anna’s head. “What is your name?” Shael asked, with more anger than fear. His reaction frightened Anna. She stood rigid, her eyes widening in disbelief.

  The man’s eyes, once a pale blue, turned black and his face contorted. Suddenly his teeth were tripled in number and grew razor sharp. The throat beyond appeared endless, like a black pit. His veins burst through his skin, dying his flesh purple, blue, and black. “We are Legion.” The man spoke, but instead of the man’s voice, it was the voice of a hundred speaking in unison in low raspy tones, dry and crackling.

  Anna stiffened and made a move to get away, but was yanked back. The man buried his face into her, sniffing her neck and her hair, his nose formed from two slits in his face. Anna cried now, trembling with fear. Legion’s vast mouth twitched up in a sadistic smile.

  Shael lifted his dagger. Anna began to weep, tears pouring down her cheeks. She looked deep into her husband’s eyes, pleading with him, confused. She didn’t understand, that this is what God built him to do, that this is who he was. At that moment the man’s face was his own again– he looked scared, panicked.

  “Gi-give me the money, lady,” he said. His voice broke, confusion written clearly on his face.

  Anna reached up her hand, horror taking hold of her. The man snatched the money from her. Once the money reached his hand his face contorted once more. Shael threw the dagger. It flew through the air with a whistle and dug itself into the man’s neck. The gun fired.

  The man’s body went limp and fell. The face, now that of the demons’, laughed as the body plunged toward the ground. Blood poured profusely from the man’s neck. Then, the demonic face vanished, and the frightened face of the man was there screaming out in pain.

  Shael looked down to Anna. She lay on the ground motionless. Blood twisted through her hair, interwoven rivers of red strewn across the pavement. Her eyes were closed, not tight, but relaxed against her cheeks, drenched with tears. The emptiness of her face told Shael he had failed.

  Shael, with a knot in his heart, leaped over her to the man. He lay shaking all over, genuine tears streaming down his face. “Stay still,” Shael said, placing a hand over the man’s heart. “In the name of Jesus Christ, the son of the living God, I command you– free this man!” Shael’s voice, full of aggressive finality, penetrated the night, drowning out the man’s cries.

  The man screamed and his chest flew upward as what seemed like a mixture of black smoke and ash flew from his body into the air. The man’s body slumped back down to the ground. A flock of nearby birds pecking on the ground was smothered by the ashes and flew straight up into the air and then into the windshield of an on-coming semi.

  “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! I’m sorry,” The man cried over and over again, his voice beginning to gurgle in his blood.

  “Shh,” Shael said, holding the man close, hugging him. He felt the soreness growing in his own throat. “Shh, I forgive you. You’re forgiven.”

  Shael held the man until his weeping ceased and his body grew still. Shael lay the man’s body down on the ground, and his own tears began to wet his cheeks.

  “I’m sorry,” he wept as he crawled over to his wife.

  Anna’s bleeding had slowed, but red curls continued to fall out of their pins as Shael lifted her onto his lap. Her chest was covered in small beads of sweat from the heat of the evening, looking like tears on her pale skin. Shael’s chest tightened. He felt like he was trying to swallow a boulder, which made it hard to breathe. He gasped.

  “I’m sorry.” He wept into her hair. “I was supposed to protect you; I was meant to protect you.” He pushed her hair back away from her face, his hand coming away bloodied. She looked like she was sleeping, but the emptiness in her echoed of a deeper slumber; a final rest.

  “Shael.”

  At first Shael didn’t hear the voice calling his name. His eyes were shut so tight the tears could no longer flow from them.

  “Shael,” the voice that drew him back to consciousness was soft, coaxing. “Shael.”

  Shael finally opened his eyes and looked up to see Naphtali standing in front of him. “Naph, I…”

  “She’s gone, Shael. She’s not here anymore.” Naphtali came closer to inspect the body of the man. The body leaning against the tire of Shael’s SUV was as limp and mutilated as the bodies of the bugs on the windshield.

  “I couldn’t save either of them.” Shael had stopped crying altogether, but he could tell his stillness was more terrifying to Naphtali. Shael’s voice had gone emotionless, the raspy hoarseness of sorrow fleeting. His monotone voice and expression told Naphtali that he now flogged himself internally.

  “The past is the past. No use in feeling regret. Nothing can be done,” Naphtali said walking back over to inspect Anna’s body.

  “Now, come on, we have to go. He has a new Charge in mind for you.”

  “So soon?” Shael looked down again at his wife. His voice came in almost a whisper. “I want to tell her I’m sorry.”

  “She knows.”

  “I want to tell her in person. I want to explain what I am. I want her to know.”

  “She knows.”

  “I want to see her.”

  “You know the rules. There are rules for a reason, Shael. You’ve broken enough; you see what happens!”

  “What could happen now?!” Shael’s voice cracked as if under immense pressure. “I want to see her!” Shael said more quietly, laying her body down softly and standing up with supernatural speed.

  “I have neither the power, the authority, nor the desire to grant your request,” Naphtali said with a chilling sternness.

  “What about my daughter?” Shael asked his voice stern but soft.

  “I’ll relieve the baby sitter and watch over her while you’re gone. Now go.”

  Shael looked at his friend with an ardent disdain before a pair of brilliant white wings expanded from his back with the sound of crunching bones.

  The wings stretched out six feet on either side of him. Beautiful and fierce, the feathers were each a foot long and three inches wide. Shael looked down at his wife’s body one last time, and with bitter tears in his eyes launched himself into the night sky.

  Naphtali looked down at Anna’s body. He knelt next to her and prayed, then moved to pray over the body of the man. He stood silently, and with his back to their bodies, he too splayed out his wings and took off into the sky.

  Shael stood surrounded by bright white. As he waited, time stalled. It didn’t seem to pass at all, but had been passing for far too long. It didn’t race, like his mind. Nor did it stand still, like his heart. It remained, relentless and pitiless.

  But Shael had expected this torment. He busied himself thinking of what to say and how to approach the subject of seeing Anna. The prospect of petitioning someone who already knew your every argument, tear, laugh and cutting remark, washed over him with a sense of helplessness.

  He knew nothing he could say would make a difference. Nothing he could do would have shock value. He simply hoped for mercy, for grace. Shael knew of God’s abundance in both, but he also knew of God’s justice.

  Shael knew he didn’t deserve God’s compassio
n. God was jealous, and Shael had given himself to someone else, and was suffering the consequences. He had compromised God’s will for humanity. Asking to see her implied, “I know I hurt you, and I was immensely stupid. It was all for this human, but can I see her even though that would break more of your rules and your heart?”

  The clouded wall in front of Shael opened. A Seraphim, with a flaming sword and who was himself on fire, approached in slow, calculated steps. The flames flickering and reflecting off the clouds, turning all the white to gold.

  Shael bowed low to the ground, also formed of clouds, as God entered through the opening after a second Seraphim.

  Today, God appeared as a tall man wearing white robes, his skin changing colors in ever-shifting hues of black, white, olive, and maple, all at once and independently. His eyes in the same way were blue, green, brown, golden, black, and hazel. He was an astounding sight to behold. The eye could scarcely look at him without driving the mind mad. The mind would try to predict what change would occur next while still sitting in awe over the last, but would never be able to capture a single, stable image. Shael kept his eyes on the floor out of reverence and self-preservation.

  When God spoke, no tone of voice existed, but an emotion itself filled the space between them. He didn’t so much convey thoughts, but the thought itself traveled audibly between them. All of Shael’s thoughts and emotions lay bare before The Lord.

  Shael struggled within himself, helpless to hide a single one of them. “This feeling is too much!” Shael screamed aloud.

  “But you can handle anything, can’t you?” God thought. If there had been a tone, it would have been stern and fatherly.

  “Not your burdens. No,” Shael said weakly on his knees, where he had collapsed with his hands over his head. At once, the overwhelming senses all subsided into more of a dull ache or vague idea.

  “Shael, I will not give you what you have come to ask.” Finality filled the air.

  “I understand,” Shael said, removing his hands from over his head and placing them on the floor, standing himself up on all fours.

  “It is hard for you to let her go. You feel that she still needs you.” Again he just stated fact, no questions at all.

  “Is she scared?”

  “Perhaps a little confused.” The tone that filled the room eased, becoming less stern and almost humorous, relaxed and father-like. Shael could feel God smiling.

  “Father, please.”

  “Shael, no. Look, Son, I know you feel responsible for her, even more so because of the love that you have for her. But I can assure you, for thousands of years, millions of souls have entered Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory without your assistance.”

  Shael bowed his head even lower to show his submission to The Father’s decision. It also conveyed his sorrow.

  “I know your heart. I feel it. But you acted as a human, and thus, you must suffer as one. To love is to lose, and to feel that loss. That is the path you chose, the penalty you chose.”

  “I know.”

  “I know you do.” The feeling of God’s smile faded. Sorrow filled the room, an unbearable sorrow; more sorrow than Shael felt at losing Anna, a crushing sense of loss, and dread. “Your new Charge’s name is…”

  “No,” Shael said with finality. “I’m done. I’m not losing another. I can’t do this again. I won’t.” The sorrow deepened.

  “I know,” God said, if he had spoken with a voice it would have cracked. Tears fell to the clouded floor from Shael’s face. Yet He went on, “You chose this penance, fought for it. It is your duty and destiny to protect, and-”

  “No, I won’t do it. I’m finished.” Shael stood. As he did so, the sorrow nearly crushed him. He fell through the clouded floor, pushed out by the sheer force of agony. As he reached the air outside and the sun, he could no longer feel the crushing weight of God’s pain, but his own anger, and with a pang of guilt he hurled himself downward.

  Shael stood among the rocks. Everything around him was frozen. His skin, so dry and cold, had begun to crack and bleed. His blood freezing on the surface of his skin. His lips were chapped, and they, too, were frozen over with blood. He had to keep his lips parted to keep them from freezing together.

  He’d forgotten how cold it was here. The breath from his mouth rising like smoke to the stalactite strewn ceiling. Humans pictured Hell as a place of flames. When they told each other to “Burn in hell,” they never imagined freezer burn. Shael knew better. He could feel his skin growing paler as his blood contracted inward to keep him warm, but it wasn’t working.

  “Shael! Well, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t surprised. But that’s not really out of my character, is it?” Shael could almost hear the smile in his voice.

  “Luc, I’d be lying if I said I was glad to see you.” Shael tried to sound serious but with great difficulty since his jaw shook uncontrollably.

  “Awe, come on, I haven’t seen you in…. How long has it been?”

  “Um… A few million years, give or take a hundred thousand or so.” Shael smiled, his lips cracking open painfully.

  Despite what he had become, Shael could still see his old friend hidden beneath Lucifer’s disfigured body, once handsome and charming. He had blue eyes, brown hair, a fair build, and an angelic face. He still appeared well built, but his skin, now blistered and frost bitten, had turned black with frost bite. He was forever cursed, unable to die, unable to heal, pain stacked upon pain. Each injury and ailment a complement to the last. His clothes covered most of the disfigurement, but Shael knew that he wouldn’t want to live inside that body. Always in pain, no comfort to be found.

  “You look like Hell.” Shael said, wincing.

  Luc looked around, taking in all the ice in the room. It had a glistening deep blue hue, like his own frostbitten skin. He smiled. “We do resemble each other quite a bit, don’t we?” Luc leaned absentmindedly against a block of ice, swishing his robes to adjust them again. He sat and crossed his legs, leaning on one arm. He looked flamboyant in the utmost sense, but only in mannerism, never in speech. He was charismatic despite his isolation. His hair had grown long and black. He wore it spiked out in all directions. The pants under his robe fit tight enough to see more than Shael wanted, and his skin glistened like melting ice. “Tell me, are you comfortable? Too hot? I can turn the AC on if you like. Ice cold lemonade?”

  “I’m just fine. I won’t be staying long.” Shael rolled his eyes. If lying was Luc’s first language, sarcasm was a close second.

  Luc’s face fell, disappointed; his expression genuine, depressed. His deep blue eyes darkened beneath long thick lashes, and stared at the floor. “Oh.”

  Shael felt bad, he couldn’t imagine living like this. Your only company– demons and enemies– never a true friend.

  “I thought you’d…”

  “Died? No. Sorry to disappoint.” Shael said harshly.

  “Or changed your mind–” Luc smiled as he shrugged a shoulder, recovering from his vulnerability.

  “Not quite, I still think you’re a bleeding lunatic. I’ll never know what I was thinking when I followed you.”

  His depression subsided, and he transformed back into his flamboyant and manipulative self. “Well then,” he said perkily. “What can I do ya for?”

  “I lost my Charge tonight.”

  “Idiot. Where’d you check before here? I doubt they wandered in by accident.”

  “She was killed. He won’t let me see her; He’s tried to give me a new Charge already. I’m not ready. I can’t do it anymore.”

  “That senator was yours- oops. My bad.” Luc shrugged with a smile. “It wasn’t anything personal. The ginger was just in my way.”

  “Whatever. I know you were after me, you vengeful bastard.” Shael tried to calm his temper, taking a deep breath before moving on. “That’s not the point. I don’t want to do it anymore. But I’m bound. This was my sentence.”

  “The only way to get out of it is to bind yourself to another.” Luc’s
grin widened filling the bottom portion of his face. He stood up a little straighter with anticipation.

  Shael looked down to the floor, his stomach sinking with his eyes. “I know. That’s why I’m here.” Luc laughed maliciously and jumped once with joy. “I want to sell you the angelic half of my soul. In exchange, I want to be a human, live a normal life. And when I die-”

  “We have a slumber party that will last for eternity.” Luc smiled childishly. “It’ll be fun! What terms are you thinking?”

  “My soul in exchange for a normal life. I get to raise my daughter. I don’t want this life for her.”

  “And once she’s an adult-”

  “I’m all yours, and she lives a normal life, unbound. No ties to him or to you. But not until she’s a woman.”

  “When she becomes a woman, I get you?”

  “Yes. But not until then.”

  “Agreed.”

  Until now Shael hadn’t thought it possible to get any colder, but nevertheless a chill went down his spine. Luc’s smile, though beautiful, never comforted those who beheld it.

  “I’d offer you a drink, but unfortunately I was kidding about the lemonade. I’m afraid all is frozen down here. Eternally thirsty.”

  “It’s alright. I need to get going anyway. I guess I’ll see you later,” Shael said in a melancholy tone.

  “Oh… right. You get to go back up there.” Luc’s face dropped, a vastness developed behind his eyes, a hopelessness you couldn’t help but feel. “Well, I guess we’d better go ahead and shake on it so you can get back to your little girl.”

  “Yep,” Shael said with as little emotion as possible, walking over to where Luc leaned nonchalantly against the ice.

  He approached slowly, so many things rushing through his mind all at once– Anna’s face, her hair, her smell, Achaia’s cries, her tiny hands reaching up at him, Naphtali’s warning glances. He reached his hand forward to meet Luc’s. Their fingers brushed, the icy chill of Luc’s fingertips shook Shael back to reality. He pulled back for a brief moment, looking deeply into Luc’s eyes–