Transgression

by Brandy C. Ange

  The girl set Achaia’s drink down on a napkin. “Trainer? Like at a gym?” Achaia asked taking her first sip of her South Pole. “Oh my God!” Her eyes widened and she stared at her drink.

  Noland smiled and Olivier playfully elbowed her arm. “I told you right!”

  “That is so good.” Achaia said taking another sip, getting a hint of the eggnog ice cream in with the mead. It was a strange combination, but it worked.

  “Worth the rebellion?” Emile asked.

  “Oh definitely.” Achaia nodded and took a longer sip through her straw.

  She felt like a little girl. As she sipped her float, she started to shiver but, she didn’t care. It was the best float she had ever had.

  As they walked back to the subway Achaia couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. The Farmacy had done the trick.

  “Better?” Emile asked, walking next to her.

  “Much. Thanks for coming out, that place is awesome,” she said as they descended the stairs.

  “No problem, it was fun.” They swiped their metro cards and waited on the platform.

  Achaia felt sinking guilt in her stomach, knowing that when she got home she would probably be in trouble. If nothing else, her father would probably be worried sick by now. She tried to temper her guilt with anger. She was still mad at him.

  The 2 train came to a halt and the doors opened to admit them. They rode most of the way in silence, save for Olivier joking about their homework.

  “Yeah I have no clue how I’m going to get that done.” Achaia’s stomach flipped again, wallowing in the guilt of her expedition. She tried to convince herself that it had been needed, and worth it. “Granted, by tomorrow it may not matter.” She frowned. “So where do you guys live?” Achaia asked, wondering if they would need to separate soon. Achaia hadn’t traveled the city at night by herself yet, and the thought of the experience being thrust upon her made her nervous. What if she didn’t find her way home?

  “The Upper West Side.” Olivier answered. He was looking down at his phone. “Have you checked your phone?” Olivier asked Emile more quietly. “Apparently Amelia has been trying to reach you, she’s freaking out.” Olivier snorted. “And apparently Jacob is going to kill me for not finishing my train— tutoring stint before I left.” Olivier smiled.

  “Tell her we are on our way back, and we’ll be there in like forty-five minutes.” Emile said softly.

  The train came to a stop in Chelsea. “This is me.” Achaia said nervously. Olivier waved, and Emile smiled and told her he’d enjoyed hanging out with her.

  Achaia followed the crowd off the train, and started for the exit. She wasn’t sure which corner she wanted to exit from. She looked back and forth between the staircases. A man running with a briefcase bumped into her knocking her off balance. She felt a hand on her back to steady her. She looked up and saw Noland. “Which way you headed?” He asked, looking at the departing crowds.

  “Um, this way,” she said following the largest crowd. He led her up the stairs with his hand still on her back. She wondered if he had little trust for her balance, or if it was a protective instinct.

  When she got to the top of the stairs she looked around trying to get her bearings. She took out her phone but her battery had died. That explained why she wasn’t getting repeated calls from her father.

  “What’s your address?” Noland asked her.

  “Do you live around here?” She asked relieved not to be alone.

  “No, but I was raised that a lady should be walked to her door after dark.” He smiled.

  Achaia told him her address and he turned and pointed behind them.

  “It’s that way.” He said simply. He started walking and she followed. “I thought you might like some company. New York is an exciting place, but it can be intimidating at first. And not all neighborhoods are safe at night.” Achaia noticed that he was fidgeting with his fingers. When he saw her recognition of the fact, he put his hands in his pockets.

  “Yeah, I wasn’t really sure I could find my way back. Everything looks different at night.” Achaia admitted.

  “It’s a good thing I know my way around then.” Noland smiled without looking at her.

  “And that you were raised to walk me home.” Achaia swallowed. “I mean, not me personally…”

  Noland laughed. “You, as in, a general woman?”

  “Exactly.” Achaia cursed herself, and told herself to quit talking. “It’s just, after a while, all the cities start to look the same. It’s easy to forget where you are.”

  “Tell me about it.” Noland huffed.

  “Have you moved a lot too?” Achaia asked, glad to have found easy conversation.

  “Um, well ‘moved’ a couple of times, but I have had to travel a lot.”

  “What for?” Achaia asked.

  “Um,” Noland thought for a minute. “Think of it as a study abroad kind of thing.”

  Achaia nodded. “So where are you from originally?”

  “I grew up in Germany.”

  “You’re German?” Achaia asked. “You don’t have an accent.”

  “It slips sometimes.” Noland smiled. “Anyway, I moved here to study when I was eleven.”

  “What about your parents?” Achaia asked.

  Noland swallowed hard. “Well,” he paused, “they died.”

  Achaia looked up to his eyes, but he kept them on the sidewalk ahead. “My mom’s dead too,” was the only thing she could think of to say.

  “How old were you? Do you remember her?” Noland asked, stopping to look down at her.

  “I was a baby. Sometimes I think I do. But, I’m not really sure what’s real, and what I made up.”

  “I know what you mean. I was eleven when my parents died, but it still feels like so long ago. They weren’t around much, so I’m not sure what I’ve created, to hold onto them, and what, or who they actually were.”

  Achaia looked steadily into Noland’s eyes. He seemed surprised at himself.

  “I’ve never told anyone that.” He said, shocked.

  Achaia smiled. “Your secret is safe with me.”

  Noland smiled sadly and continued walking down the street. He seemed to have caught himself off guard with his honesty. Achaia decided to give him some space. She had surprised herself as well. She’d never met anyone else who had lost their parents…

  As nervous and awkward as Achaia felt around Noland, she felt like she could breathe. She’d never been able to talk about losing her mom. Talking about her mother upset her father, and she had never had close enough friends that would understand.

  Noland was hard to start a conversation with. She couldn’t read him the way she could Olivier, but she felt somehow bonded to him. He was the only person she’d met who could, in that aspect, understand her.

  They walked the last few blocks slipping between comfortable silence and awkward sighs. Achaia wondered if Noland was okay with the silence, or if he was trying to think of something to say.

  Finally Achaia saw the familiar awning of the coffee shop. “Oh, this is me!” She said relieved.

  “Are you good from here? Or do you have creepy stairs?” Noland asked.

  She couldn’t really tell from his tone whether or not he was joking.

  “I think I’ve got it from here.” Achaia answered. “But um, thanks for walking me back. And for—just—”

  “You’re welcome.” Noland said smirking. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

  “Yeah,” Achaia said tucking a thumb into her pocket. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Her breath rose in the air like steam. And it struck her, she might not see him tomorrow, or ever again.

  She watched Noland walk away down the street. As she opened the door to the stairs, he turned back and smiled at her. She waved and smiled back as she walked inside. Her stomach flipped and she felt a bit like throwing up. Never before had she wanted so desperately to stay in a city.

  Moving so often had been cumbersome, but she had never, with the exception of t
he first time, had to leave behind people she would miss. She found herself hoping her new friends wouldn’t forget her once she was gone.

  Achaia took her time going up the stairs, postponing the inevitable. When she opened the door to the apartment all of the lights were off. Achaia looked at the clock on the stove. It was almost midnight. She walked quietly to her room and plugged in her phone. When she turned it on, she had three missed calls from her dad. She had expected more. Achaia walked quietly to his bedroom door and peaked inside. He wasn’t there. She hoped he wasn’t out looking for her.

  She dialed his number and waited for him to answer.

  “Achaia?” He sounded worried, not angry.

  “Dad.”

  “Where are you?” He asked.

  “Home.” She heard him breathe a sigh of relief.

  “Look, I want you to lock the door, and keep all the lights off. Just go to bed. I’ll be home soon.”

  As far as punishments went, ‘keep the lights off and go to bed’, wasn’t exactly what Achaia had expected.

  “Where are you?” Achaia asked.

  “Close.” There was a click.

  “Dad?” The beep on the other end told her that he had hung up. Yet more strange behavior… she was no longer surprised. She changed clothes and decided to wake up early the next morning to finish her homework before school.

  After crawling into bed, she set the alarm on her phone, and fell almost instantly asleep.

  4

  Revelation

  “I wonder how many people

  I’ve looked at all my life

  And never seen.”

  -John Steinbeck

  School was going by fairly quickly; Achaia had seen Olivier in geometry and Yellaina in French, but had been too lost in thought to really talk to either of them.

  She wasn’t sure if her father had or hadn’t come home the night before, but he hadn’t been there that morning. Neither her father nor Naphtali were answering their phones. She knew she had made a mistake storming out the day before, and didn’t want to make things worse by skipping school, too, but she wasn’t mentally present at all. Her mind was with her father.

  She’d spent minimal time in the halls and got to all her classes early. Conversations, if there had been any, were lost on her.

  As Achaia walked from her third period Civics class back to her locker, a hand tapped her on the shoulder. Olivier.

  “You okay there, Frenchy?”

  “Frenchy?” Achaia replied with as much sarcasm as possible.

  “Yeah, I figured you’d need a nick-name sooner or later. It was the first thing to come to mind.” Olivier smiled innocently.

  “Well, it could definitely be taken the wrong way. If you know what I mean.”

  “No, what do you mean?” Olivier asked, honest confusion written across his naïve face.

  Achaia blushed. “I…”

  “I’m just kidding, I know what you mean.” Olivier laughed.

  Achaia hit his arm lightly as they continued down the hall.

  “But for real. Are you okay?” His face turned serious once again. “When do you have to move?”

  “At this point I’m just hoping my dad hasn’t moved without me.” Achaia felt a spasm in her chest, like a butterfly trying to escape from beneath her ribs. Her breathing was shallow and uneven. Before she could stop herself, she started to spew everything out that she’d been thinking and feeling the entire morning. “I’ve hardly seen him since we moved here. He’s been acting really strange, and jittery. Is that a word? He tries to keep me hostage almost. He is constantly getting Naphtali to come and watch me when he isn’t home. And Naphtali is acting weird too. But he won’t tell me anything. I never heard him come home, and he isn’t answering his phone— and he seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth. I feel like I’m losing it!”

  “Shhh— Hey,” Olivier grabbed her in a hug.

  Achaia felt a couple of tears escape, but wiped them away, and tried to go back to a casual tone. “Sorry.” She sniffed and stepped back. “I think I may have been a little lost in my own world today.”

  “I’d say.” He smiled, going along with her lighter tone. “You’ve been pretty out of it. I’m guesstimating you’ve ignored at least eight greetings.” He smirked out of the side of his mouth. He reached down and wiped a stray tear off her cheek and led her down the hall toward his locker.

  “Really? Eight? I’m so sorry. I didn’t even realize I’d seen you that many times today.” Achaia blushed leaning against the locker next to his. But of course by the time she’d done this he was done exchanging his books.

  “Oh no, not just me.” He shut his locker door. “I’d say about four of them were me, but Yellaina and Emile, too.” He started off toward her locker.

  “Oh, great. They probably think I’m the biggest jerk.” As they reached her locker she fiddled anxiously with the lock. She fumbled with numbers in her head but had forgotten her combination.

  “No, just mildly concerned, that’s all. But, you’re okay?” Olivier asked.

  “Yeah,” Achaia said in an ‘of course’ sort of tone. Giving up, she sighed and let her hands fall to her side before kicking the bottom of her locker. It dented. “Dang it!” She breathed, frustrated, and leaned her head against her locker.

  “Well that was convincing.” Olivier laughed and reached up with a hand to rub her back.

  “Is the school going to charge me for that?” Achaia sighed looking at the basketball sized dent in the door. “I’ve screwed up enough in the last week…My dad, if he hasn’t left me, is going to kill me.”

  Olivier leaned in closer to her. “No, they won’t have to. But, you don’t seem alright?”

  “No.” Achaia breathed in a defeated whisper. His hand felt good on her back, calming. She felt as though she’d known him for more than a week. He acted like he knew her, knew how to calm her. She turned around slowly, facing him.

  “What happened?” he asked softly.

  “I don’t know. My dad has just been weird lately. Yesterday morning he was acting all paranoid. I don’t think he came home the night before, he didn’t come home last night either, and then…” Achaia took a deep breath. She felt a little off kilter confessing private family matters with a boy she hardly knew.

  “What?”

  “I don’t even know. It’s like he’s acting like we’re being watched.”

  “That is weird. Is he okay now?” Olivier stood back up straight, but the expression on his face remained calm.

  “I don’t know. He’s done this before, but normally it doesn’t last long. But he wasn’t home when I left this morning. I don’t know where he is.”

  “Hmm,” Olivier’s eyebrows were knit together in a contemplative huddle. He put in her locker combination, but she didn’t think that was what he was deep in thought about.

  Achaia exchanged her books slowly and turned back around to face Olivier again. “Sorry.”

  “What are you apologizing for?” he smirked, recovering from his serious expression. He bent down and punched the dent back out of the bottom of the door.

  “You barely know me, and I’m spewing my guts to you.” Achaia sighed tucking her books under her arm. “I swear my life is not usually this dramatic.”

  “Eh, it’s whatever. Besides, it was at the very least entertaining watching you try to open your locker.”

  Achaia mustered up a laugh. “Okay, fair point.”

  “Achaia!”

  Achaia looked up at the sound of her name. She had been contemplating whether or not the meat on her tray was to be trusted. Emile was sitting at a table across the room by himself.

  “Hey,” she said as she approached.

  “Glad you’re here,” he said as she took a seat. “There aren’t any cool people in this lunch.”

  Achaia smiled at the compliment. But couldn’t help but wonder why he was sitting alone, when all the girls in the vicinity were staring at him. “I’m just glad I know some
one in this lunch now.”

  Emile nodded. “So are you saying that I’m not cool, just the only person you know? That’s alright if it’s the case. You can settle for me.” He smiled.

  “Oh no, that just came out wrong.” Achaia blushed.

  “So how are you liking New York?” Emile changed the subject.

  Achaia breathed a sigh of relief. “It seems pretty cool so far. Pretty chaotic. It’s hard to tell if people ever actually stop and relax around here.”

  Emile laughed. “They do, just never at the same time.” He took a sip of his water and looked across the table at her. She couldn’t help but feel like she was being appraised. But she knew that’s what you do when you meet someone new, you size them up; decide whether or not to like them.

  Achaia had never wanted anyone to like her more. In this city more than any other, she felt her lack of friends. She wasn’t ready to leave it yet. It was the first place they had moved that even showed the possibility for friendships. She was usually the solitary type, but something about Emile made her want to know him better. Maybe because he was beautiful, but it could have been something else as well…

  “So where did you live before here?” He asked.

  “Well before here, it was LA. Before that it was Nashville, Houston, Seattle, Tampa, Phoenix…”

  “Wow, that’s quite the repertoire. Why so many?”

  “My dad writes for a living, and there’s always a new project somewhere…”

  “Which city was your favorite?” Emile asked looking up at her through his eyebrows as he leaned over his plate.

  Achaia felt a little creepy for noticing that the blue lunch tray accentuated the hue of his eyes. It wasn’t the most attractive accessory, but it worked. His eyes were the most piercing shade of blue she’d ever seen. They had a light pool-blue iris, with a darker navy band surrounding it. They reminded her of nautical maps where the shades of blue signified the depth of the waters.

  “I’m not really sure, they were all so different.” Achaia thought for a minute. “I loved LA for the coffee.”

  “I would have thought that would be Seattle?” Emile said, trying not to talk with his mouth full.