An Unbreakable Bond

by Mary Wood

  ‘But have you thought about how unfair your actions are on him and his wife? Didn’t you tell me a while back that she is pregnant?’

  ‘Yes, she is, and he is missing out, I’d say, as she hasn’t long to go. What’s unfair about it? I’ll make sure he enjoys it as much as me!’

  ‘Laura, you’re incorrigible!’ Daphne’s mock-indignation set them both laughing.

  Laura stood up and walked over to the window. She was impatient to bring all this to a conclusion. She’d played around at first, amused at Jack’s embarrassment and enjoying the little gains she made. But now she was serious – really serious.

  She held her stomach as a sensation of desire caused her muscles to clench at the thought of the chances she’d have, when Jack became her chauffeur. The prospect almost made up for the loss of the stud farm.

  As if she’d read her thoughts, her sister said, ‘How are things progressing with the sale? Charles tells me there’s a serious buyer in the offing.’

  ‘Yes, but I can’t say I’m happy about it. It happens to be my rival, Smythe. It took a long time to build things up to take his place as the best stud farm in this county. Bloody miners! If they had just gone back to work when the rest of the country did, I might not have had to sell! They want too bloody much these days. Why can’t they be satisfied with their lot?’

  ‘I know, dear. They nearly brought the country to its knees, but it isn’t just commodities and manufacturing that are suffering, you know. Charles is very upset about having to consider selling shares in his bank. He feels he is letting his father and grandfather down. They wouldn’t allow anyone to muscle in on the family business, but the general strike has changed things and he may have no choice.’

  ‘I’m sorry. I can be selfish in what I say sometimes. It’s just that things were going so well. Anyway, darling, I have to go back to the stables. I . . .’ Laura floundered, desperately trying to think of a plausible excuse. The feeling inside her hadn’t gone away, and she wanted to try once more. Jack was weakening. She might be lucky. They could ride out together. ‘I forgot to tell Fellam that Diamond stumbled. He may have hurt himself. I’d just like to make sure he is all right.’

  ‘But I thought you said you were going to get changed and we would go shopping?’

  ‘Yes, and I haven’t changed my mind, darling. I just wouldn’t be able to relax and enjoy myself unless I sort out Diamond first. I won’t be long. That is, unless we have to call the vet in. I’ll send a message back to you if I’m going to be delayed.’

  Jack felt his stomach turn over. He looked at Gertie Ardbuckle, unable to take in what she’d come to tell him. Cissy in labour – God! The babby coming early! Cissy had at least three weeks to go, by their reckoning, and she had been all right when he’d left her this morning.

  ‘You say as Megan’s with her, Gert? Are you sure Ciss is alreet?’

  ‘Yes, she’s doing well by all accounts. Megan just asked me to let you know. She said as Ciss’d said she hoped you could get home for a while sometime today. I reckon as she’s a few hours to go yet, so don’t be on with worrying just now.’

  ‘Thanks, Gertie. I’ll go up to the house and see how the land lies, and ask if I can get an hour off. Tell Cissy I’ll try me best.’

  As Gertie left, Jack turned back to the task of grooming Diamond. His nerves had settled with Gertie telling him everything was going well, but still, he’d do his best to get home soon. He voiced his relief and happiness, talking to the horse as he brushed him down. ‘Well, what d’yer think to that, lad, eh? Me Ciss is having the babby today. By, that’s good news, is that. She’d not have been able to go on much longer, thou knows.’ He patted Diamond’s rump. ‘There you go. Her Ladyship must’ve ridden you hard this morning; you’ve a reet good sweat on.’

  The happiness inside him at the news smothered the guilt he’d been feeling. Nothing had happened. He’d let his guard slip, but he’d given Laura Harvey short shrift in the end. He’d get through. It was nearly over. Cissy would soon be back to normal and she’d be feeling more like helping him get his release before long. He couldn’t wait. It’d been a long time since Cissy’d even felt like getting close, let alone anything more.

  ‘Ah, there you are, Fellam.’

  Jack had started to clean Diamond’s saddle. He stopped and turned in surprise to see Laura Harvey back in the stable again so soon.

  ‘I forgot to say that Diamond stumbled whilst we were out. Is he all right? Did you notice a limp or anything?’

  ‘No, Ma’am. He seemed in fine fettle, though glad of his rest.’

  Laura Harvey had moved closer to him. He felt a familiar internal twinge, alongside the rekindled guilt that caused him to burn up. He turned his attention back to the saddle.

  ‘I’m not surprised. We really had a good time and set a good pace. Diamond was anxious to please me.’

  He looked down at her. She was so close. His mouth dried. She smiled up at him.

  ‘Is Prince ready? I thought I would accompany you on the exercising of the horses today. Lady Crompton is planning a shopping trip and I’d like to delay it for a while. I feel very restless.’

  The way she said this last got at Jack even more. He needed to do something to change things. But then a part of him didn’t want to . . .

  There was a look in her eyes – a longing. She was different. She wasn’t playing games. She . . . Oh God! What am I thinking? Ciss . . . Ciss, I’m sorry, lass.

  ‘You seem very distracted, Fellam. Is there something troubling you?’

  Relief flooded him. She’d given him a way out.

  ‘Aye, me lass is having her pains. It seems as babby is likely to come today, Ma’am, and I were wondering on whether I could . . .’

  ‘Oh, I see.’

  The expression on her face changed – he didn’t think she would agree to him going! She turned from him, and there was anger in her movement.

  ‘Very well, Fellam. Bring Prince out. I will exercise him, and then get Ardbuckle to see to the exercising of the other horses.’

  By the time he brought Prince out, her mood had changed.

  ‘I’m glad for you, Fellam. It must be a relief to think it’s soon to be over, especially after what has happened in the past. Of course you can go, and I do hope it all goes well for you both.’

  ‘Thank you, Ma’am.’ The happiness in him at her decision seemed to relay itself to Prince; he became frisky and shook and nodded his head, then pulled on the rein in an eager manner. They both laughed at his antics.

  ‘Hold him steady, Jack. I’ll never mount him whilst he’s like that.’

  He was shocked at the use of his first name and how it sounded, in the posh tones of her voice.

  ‘I’ll tether him to the post a while and give you a lift up, Ma’am. By, the fella’s lively! Steady, boy.’ He took a sugar lump from his pocket and fed it to Prince. ‘There you go, me lad. Quieten down now and you’ll get your rein.’

  With the horse tethered and Laura Harvey ready to mount, he bent down and cupped his hands. His confidence in handling the nearness of her boosted him, but then she slipped and he was forced to catch her. She was in his arms, the velvet of her jacket brushing against his cheek. It was like no other cloth he’d ever felt and it affected him in ways he didn’t want to be affected. He swallowed hard. Her feet touched the ground, but she wasn’t intending to move away from him any time soon and he wasn’t for letting her go. After a moment she turned and released herself, but stayed close. Her eyes – her beautiful violet eyes – were looking deeply into his. He couldn’t breathe. Of all the tricks she’d played, he’d never been put in the position of holding her before, and the feeling it gave him blocked out any guilt. He couldn’t move his eyes from hers. He looked at her parted lips. If only he dared to kiss them . . .

  ‘So, the coat of armour you wear does have holes in it then, Jack?’

  She was mocking him. She’d known the effect she’d have on him and it was enough for her. Her blo
ody games were undoing him, turning him from his Cissy! God, he hated her.

  ‘There aren’t any holes in owt as I wear, Ma’am. I’ll fetch the mounting stool.’

  It was a relief to get away from the nearness of her. He felt sick in his stomach. Why was he so weak? How could he have let her have even a part of him? Because, he knew, he had given something of himself to Laura when he’d held her.

  When he returned, she was already mounted.

  ‘Call at the kitchen on your way, Fellam, and give a message to Hamilton. Tell him to tell Lady Crompton I am delayed. I will see her in about an hour. I’ll expect you to be back in the stables to bed the horses down later.’

  Jack watched her ride away. He heard her soft laughter, and saw the pace she set once through the gates. He allowed the anger in him to have its way as he threw the stool against the stable wall. He’d finish a few chores before he sought Gary out. He needed to calm himself and get himself ready for . . . for being good enough to stand in the same room as his Cissy.

  Laura Harvey rode to the southernmost part of her estate, a secluded haven surrounded by old trees, a place where no one other than the family was allowed to go. A place where she could indulge in the only activity that gave her body sexual release.

  As she unsaddled Prince, she thought over what had happened and recalled the look on Jack’s face. His humiliation and shame had reddened his cheeks, and his expression had changed to one of contempt and dislike. Why had she mocked him? ‘You’re a bloody fool!’ she told herself out loud. She should have realized that he hadn’t the sophistication to cope with the subtlety of her double meanings.

  But then she remembered the feelings and sensations she had experienced when he’d held her, and a pulse of desire throbbed inside her with the memory.

  Prince pulled on his rein and shook his head. Laura laughed at the pleasure the horse was showing at being free, and yearned to feel that freedom herself. Her desire intensified with each restricting riding garment that she removed. She looked around, although there was no need to. The place was very private, but she wanted to take everything off and ride Prince with just her loose, silk French-cut knickers on, so she needed to be sure.

  The sun caressed her naked skin and enhanced her desire, dispelling any niggling voices inside her telling her this was wrong.

  She led Prince over to the tree stump that she used to help her to mount and, pushing herself off it, seated herself, straddling her legs across his bare back. Slowly she trotted him round the clearing. A heat permeated her as the friction gradually stirred her senses. Her thoughts drifted to Jack. In her imagination it was him that was caressing her deeply.

  Pressing her knees hard into the horse, she urged him to go faster. Her hair came loose and the cascading locks stroked her shoulders and licked the dark tips of her breasts. Sensation built on sensation, and soft moans escaped her lips. Beads of sweat trickled down her face and neck and found the deep valley of her cleavage.

  ‘Yes . . . yes!’ Her breathless plea urged her body to accept the almost painful crescendo of feelings that burned her loins and gripped her whole body in a spasm of thrills that she could hardly endure.

  Desperately hauling in the reins, she brought Prince to a halt. Holding herself still and taut, she allowed the thrills to pulsate through her. The agonized cry that came from her held Jack’s name. As the feeling subsided, her body slumped forward and shame washed over her. Damn this loneliness! And damn this longing that she couldn’t deny! A tear ran down her cheek.

  She closed her eyes, then let out a deep sigh and brushed away the tears. What was the point? Thank God Daphne was here. She’d go home now. She’d tell her sister what had happened at the stable between her and Jack. Make a joke of it. She needed some light-hearted banter, something to lift her, then they would go shopping and everything would be all right again.

  26

  An Anguished Goodbye

  When he reached home, Gertie was coming down the steps of his cottage. ‘Oh, Jack. I’m reet glad to see you. Things are not going well. I’m to fetch the doctor. Megan said as you’ve enough to pay for him.’

  Shock held him from speaking.

  ‘Go on up, lad. You’ll be a comfort to her.’

  He took the stairs two at a time. ‘Megan, what’s to do, lass? What’s happening?’

  ‘I don’t know. She’s been at pushing some good while, but there’s nothing to show for it and just now a lot of blood came from her. Oh, Jack.’

  ‘Ciss, Ciss lass. Ciss . . .’ There was no response. ‘I’m sorry, lass, I’m sorry. Oh, Ciss, what have I done?’

  ‘Don’t take on so, Jack. Doctor’ll not be long. He knows she’s labouring; he passed this way earlier and Gertie told him. Things were going as they should’ve been then, but he said he’d be on with being ready to come and assist if we needed him, and we weren’t to hesitate to call him.’

  Cissy stirred, her body bent double in pain. Her face reddened with the effort to push, but a weakness took her and she slumped back.

  ‘I’m here, me little lass. Everything’ll be reet. I’m sorry, lass.’

  ‘It’s not . . . not your fault. I love—’

  Cissy’s eyes closed, and her hand went limp in his.

  ‘Oh God! No! No, Ciss.’

  The door opened. ‘All right, Jack. Let me get to her. Anything else happened, Megan?’

  ‘She just had another pain. She tried to push, but . . .’

  ‘Aye, I can see. She’s haemorrhaged. It’ll have weakened her.’

  Jack had moved to the other side of the bed. He felt despair enter his heart. Cissy had lost the colour from her face. Her eyes were sinking into their sockets and her lips were blue. He heard the clinking of the doctor’s bag and saw the shiny instrument he held, but couldn’t register what was happening.

  Megan’s every nerve felt tense to the point of snapping. The babby was here and was wrapped in her arms, sleeping as if nothing was going on. It hadn’t taken her long to get the babby cleaned, as she’d had everything ready for the task. Throughout the birth she’d kept her attention and her heart on what was going on across the room. Her whole being willed Cissy to respond.

  ‘I’m trying to release the afterbirth.’

  Dr Cragshaw didn’t seem to be speaking to her or to Jack, and neither of them answered him. When Megan looked towards Jack, her heart jolted painfully in her chest. The ever-present guilt she felt at her feelings for him increased, causing her to bow her head and close her mind to him.

  ‘I’ll have to get it away, or I’ll not be able to stop her bleeding.’

  She was so worried for Cissy that she barely registered the doctor’s anxious words; it seemed as though they were bouncing off her closed mind. After a few minutes he stopped massaging Cissy’s stomach and took hold of her wrist. The wait seemed eternal. A tangle of fear knotted deeply inside of her. When he looked up, his face told her before he spoke that her fear was going to become a truth.

  ‘I’m sorry . . .’

  There was a pause, when it seemed as if nothing in the whole world moved or made a sound. Dr Cragshaw broke the silence and said something, but the feeling deep inside her welled up now, and drowned out his words. A hollow moan filled her. Had she made the noise, or had it come from Jack?

  She forced herself to look over at him, watching his face stretch and twist in a contortion of agony. His body slumped, and he sank to his knees and buried his head into Cissy’s still breast.

  His pain entered Megan, and intensified her own anguish. The doctor spoke again. ‘Megan. Megan, come on now, lass.’

  Her mouth opened and closed, but nothing came out. She could only shake her head.

  ‘I know, lass, I know. Have you seen to babby? Good. Put her in the cot for a moment while I clean myself up, and then I’ll take her downstairs so I can have a look at her.’ He turned towards the dresser where the bucket of hot water stood. There was still some left in it, and he plunged his hands in, then looked back at
her as if a thought had struck him. ‘Do you feel up to fetching Father O’Malley? If we get him here quickly, he can give Cissy a blessing and baptize babby.’

  She nodded. She understood his urgency, as it was said the body didn’t give up its soul for some hours, and its anointing would send that soul straight to heaven. She wanted that for Cissy.

  The brightness of the outside world shocked her. What time was it? She hadn’t counted the hours. The light in Cissy’s bedroom was such that she’d had to light the mantles, but then the small window in that room never allowed much light to enter.

  She looked over at the gathering of women in the lane. They were all there: the women from The Row and those from the tied cottages. Gertie would have put the word round that things weren’t going right.

  The group moved towards her as she went down the steps. ‘Will one of you go for Father O’Malley? Tell him to come as quick as he can.’

  ‘Oh, no! Is it Cissy or babby?’

  ‘It’s Cissy, Jenny. She’s . . .’

  ‘Don’t stand there asking questions, lass.’ Gertie stepped forward and took hold of Jenny’s arm. ‘Get yourself away. You’re youngest and’ll be quickest. Go on now.’ She turned to Megan. ‘Is there no hope, lass?’

  ‘She . . . she’s gone.’

  Their gasp cut through her.

  ‘Gone? Eeh, no! No! Oh, dear God, why? Poor Jack. Is babby all right, Megan?’

  ‘I don’t know, Gertie. She seems all right, but . . .’

  ‘Come on, lass. I’ll come in with you. You’ll need a hand.’

  It was quiet in the cottage, quiet and unreal. Even the babby, lying on the kitchen table being examined, was quiet. Neither Megan nor Gertie spoke, though questions of all kinds were popping in and out of Megan’s head. It was a relief when the doctor finally stood up straight and put his stethoscope back in his pocket.

  ‘Is she all right, Doctor?’

  He didn’t answer, but stood pulling at his lips with a forefinger and thumb on either side of his mouth. After a moment he shook his head.