by Love Belvin
“I’ve had a very fortunate life. Once I got my head around not having parents, I learned how to survive without. I am a blessed man.” I implored with my eyes as they bore into hers. “I just don’t want to quickly get us into a place where you feel you have a debt to pay to me. I’m sure your conscious is loaded with far more pressing things. As it turns out, you were set up and put in a situation where you were separated from me. We know this. Now we spend this time agreeing what we move on to.”
Yazmine’s tears began to spring again. I didn’t think I was being too forceful.
“I know, baby. You’re right. I’m glad you forgive me. Now I need to forgive myself for getting so caught up back then and putting us in a situation where you had to live a life without me and here I’ve been breathing all this time.” She sobbed.
It really was okay. I’m sure I could recall when things weren’t okay right after she disappeared, but today I was okay. I’ve seen and accomplished more financially at the age of 18 than most men do in the their entire lives. I’ve worked hard and long and probably at the expense of having those core relationships, but I have no regrets. Though, I now fear mistakes moving forward. More specifically, I feared mishandling this thing with Rayna.
On the one hand, I wanted her more than I wanted every penny I had. I craved her. Adored her. Worshipped her. But on the other hand, I didn’t want to fuck up what we were building by giving it a generic title of girlfriend or love. I’ve done that shit in the past and neither of them worked. What I feel for Rayna goes beyond what I could give a name to. It’s more than what my heart has ever held. The shit felt so good it hurt.
“I hate that man just as much as I do the devil,” Yazmine hissed, snatching me from my trance.
I chuckled. “Let’s talk about Daryl Harrison and how you’d like to see him dealt with,” I suggested in an attempt to properly navigate this meeting. Yazmine’s eyes darkened, filled with contempt. We spent the next few hours discussing things we could control and not braising in regrets.
~~~~~~~~~~
I rushed into the suite in search of her. I’m not sure why I acted as if she wouldn’t be found there. It was where she agreed to be until I returned. She was right in the living room packing up my paperwork. As I turned the corner off the foyer, I halted in my strides. I took a minute to adjust my eyes to her beauty. I stood there just staring at her.
“Ummmm…when I realized you’d be late I thought to start packing. We leave so early in the morning,” Rayna offered up nervously.
She wore the hotel’s plush robe and her hair in a high ponytail. My eyes were fastened to her as if she was my lodestar.
Continuing her anxious gaping, she asked, “Did all go well?”
I exhaled and gave a calm nod.
“Did she answer all of your questions?”
I give another nod.
“Are you feeling satisfied having spoken to her?”
I nodded, this time more emphatically.
“Well, what’s the matter, baby?” she asked with grave concern in her tone.
I shot my chin towards her.
“Me?”
I swallowed, “I’ve been neglectful…a little malicious even.”
She inhaled deeply and her eyes fluttered in relief. She caught the reference immediately. “You…you haven’t touched me in days.”
I launched at her with remorse twisting in my chest. I needed to make things right. Grabbing her, I swung her around, gently pulling her head to the side as I nibbled on her neck and across her clavicle. I felt her shiver against me as I untied her robe with her back still against my chest.
“I thought there was someone else,” Rayna blurted out breathless. How ridiculous a thought.
I pulled the robe down until it hit the floor exposing her bra and underwear, pink lace. With soft and wet lips in tow, I gently scraped my teeth down her back and unhooked her bra. Her breathing grew uncontrolled, further twisting my guilt.
As I removed her bra and clasped her breasts, I whispered directly in her ear, “I’m sorry. I’ve been so upset, feeling that I’m not good enough for you in spite of my hard work over the years to build an empire. You can’t penalize me for having money,” my voice was rasped as I was making a plea.
She reached back and grabbed my wood, catching me off guard. She was in need. I was ready to deliver. I turned her over to face me, picked her up to spread her on the desk where I removed her panties. Pulling them up to my face, I inhaled her personal fragrance and grew further aroused. Rayna was overcome by my passion as her eyes slanted naturally. I pulled her face into mine and kissed her ferociously. I placed my index finger inside of her trying to test her waters. I moaned at the touch of her moisture. She was so ready causing me to insert a second finger as we were still intertwined in an oral embrace.
With her arm she hooked my head and shoulders forcing me into her. I pulled back to lower my head down to her full breasts, softly pulling her nipples into my mouth. Shit. She tastes so good. Rayna thrust her pelvis into my hand as I continued plugging my fingers in and out of her, around and around.
“Ah!” she yelped sharply. I felt her stiffening around me and withdrew my fingers. When I pulled away from her grasp, she looked up at me confused and wanting.
“You’ve missed me?” I needed to know and would soon learn how much.
“Yes,” she breathed as I unbuckled my pants, slowly freeing my cock. I stroked it, teasing her and she was taken. Her eyes shot down to him as she lustfully licked her lips.
“Wanna taste him?” I asked while stroking him long.
“Ummm-hmmm,” Rayna cried as she nodded.
“Maybe later. Right now I want to unwind you.”
I placed the head plus a few more inches of my cock inside her, circling around and around. She relinquished immediately, collapsing her torso onto the desk. Her soft pants turned into loud groans, teasing her relentlessly.
“Azmir, stop…I can’t take it!” she cried.
When she could no longer endure, she quickly wrapped her legs around my hips attempting to push me into her, only it didn’t work. I slipped my index finger in her mouth and as if on cue she sucked it, moaning loudly. After some time I withdrew my wet finger and flickered it on her nipple driving her crazy.
“Azmir, I can’t…” she screamed.
“You ready?” I goaded.
“Yes, please!”
That’s when I pushed myself all the way into her before slightly pulling back and grinding. I pushed in again…pulled back, twisting my hips. Pushed in and quickly pulled back, and on my fourth thrust she came violently beneath me succumbing to a torrential orgasm. Rayna’s body jerked so harshly that I had to slow my plunges to be sure she was okay. Once I was able to resume, I felt the first tingle in my balls and in no time I followed suit taking off into space.
She reached up to grab me as my body was calming, hugging me so close and tight. I knew there was meaning behind it. I wasn’t done with her. I needed more of her to make up for my haphazard attitude. So, I lifted her from the desk and carried her into the changing room portion of the closet bypassing the bedroom. I’d thought of having her in there the day before and this was my chance.
In the closet, I let her down onto the floor and had her face the mirror. She looked a little confused but she was certainly ready for whatever I had to bring. I stood behind her as we were both on our knees facing the mirror. She stiffened at the sight of her image.
“You’re so beautiful, you must know this,” I muttered as I scraped my teeth over her left earlobe. Her breathing hiked when I grabbed her breasts massaging them firmly. Her mouth became slightly ajar but her eyes closed.
“As resplendent as you are, how could I in my right mind lay with another? Where can I go to get something this delicious other than from you?”
My left hand made its way to her valley to stroke her clitoris. She swayed her hips from side to side.
“Mmmmmm…” she moaned in agonizing pleasure.
“I’m going to pivot you, but I want you to watch. Okay?”
Rayna nodded her head anxiously as her soft body slightly trembled against me.
I nudged her to turn to her left and bent her over, then entered her slowly.
“Damn, Brimm. You’re so tight. I love this,” I whispered through clenched teeth.
I could see her in the mirror trying to focus her eyes. It turned me on watching her, watching us. Her mouth was wide open and her brows narrowed. She was inebriated in lechery, just the way I liked her. Rayna was subdued and in moments, confirming that I could devote my life to this woman if she’d just let me into her heart the way that she does her body. She was vulnerable and in need of me and in times like this I knew I could take her places. She could balance me—if she’d just trust me. As I peered at her in the mirror I wondered what was going through her mind.
Her breasts were clapping to their own rhythm adding to the erotica. I was trying to maintain my composure so that I didn’t explode too soon. I kept my stride in plunging, pleading with her to let me into her heart while locking eyes with her in the mirror. Rayna must have sensed my efforts. She muffled her moans as her mask flipped and suddenly she was enduring and ironclad to survive my attempt at breaking the walls to her heart. I needed her, couldn’t get enough of her, and wouldn’t allow her to get away if she begged me to. There was a force of wills happening, a battle I refused to lose and would pledge my life to conquering her. All of her.
I saw her face soften in the mirror. I increased forceful speed as I pounded into her. Her eyes glazed and collapsed.
“Open!” I shouted just as forceful.
Her heavy lids flew open and her eyes fastened to mine through the mirror. I took her at the shoulders and deepened my thrusts. Balls deep and she took all of me. My soldier. I felt the sweat beads form over my entire body as every last muscle worked together to bring her pleasure. In no time I felt her tightening around my cock. I immediately grabbed her breasts, pulling and pinched her tauten nipples. Rayna started to cry out as she melted all around me.
Explosive.
“Open your eyes! Look!” I commanded.
She did as she continued to screamed, “Oooh!”
In as many times I’d seen Rayna orgasm she seemed to be on another planet this evening, furthering my remorse for holding back on her, but making clear of the battle I’d just won at getting one step closer to her eternity. This experience slapped me with the revelation I shouldn’t play games with someone who I realized I wanted around for more than a long time. I wanted her forever.
“I’m so sorry, baby,” I declared as I released inside of her, filling her with my seeds.
I collapsed on her back in complete exhaustion and she took us down for a gentle landing on the floor the way that only she can do. I rolled us over gripping her into my chest, wanting to remain inside of her, never letting her go. We lay there until our heartbeats stabilized.
As Rayna showered, I took the liberty of ordering dinner in the room. I didn’t want to go out. It was close to eight and I was feeling a bit exhausted and wanted to end the trip quietly.
At the table eating dinner, Rayna asked, “So?”
“So, what?” I asked as I took in a piece of broiled lobster. By the ardent flicker in her eyes I could tell she was going somewhere with her question, but wasn’t exactly sure where.
“How did it go with you and Yazmine?”
Ahhhh… I sat up in my seat a little surprised by her rare interest.
“Well, I believe…as you know, things started out quite emotionally and it took some sometime to get her to come down but when she did she was extremely apologetic. Most of the details behind her disappearance were discussed previously and I didn’t want to rehash that. But she seemed so…” I was at a loss for words.
“Fragmented…bewildered…galled?”
I was blown away by her accuracy. I put my glass of wine down. It was as if she could read my mind.
“Yes. Precisely.”
She looked as if she was battling something internally. How did she know?
“My uncle did a seven year bid when I was eight. He was so vibrant and charismatic. He would play with us kids for hours on in. I’d never forgotten him; he was that cemented into my heart. When he came home he was so withdrawn and timid. It has never set well with me.”
Her tone was somber. Rarely did Rayna discuss her past. I wanted to ask more to clear up the mystery of her, but felt in my gut that it wouldn’t have been a good move. So I continued talking in hopes of her feeling comfortable enough to reciprocate eventually.
“Yeah, she seemed so lost and unsure of herself.”
“Where is she living?” Rayna asked with a hint of concern in her voice.
“With a family friend. She’s working at Momma D’s restaurant for pennies. I have to think of what to do to help.”
She slowly reached her arm across the table to caress my hand. “We’ll think of something.”
“It’s not that I can’t hook her up, but it’s just that my life…” my voice trailed off.
“No…I know.” Rayna shook her head soft and sympathetic to my undertone. “You have to think of a way to include her. Throwing money at her isn’t the best solution. She must be carefully integrated if this has a shot at working.”
Rayna was on point more than she knew. That was exactly what I was feeling, along with the fact of keeping my mother away from my street life as well. She was, after all, being monitored by the FEDS and I needed my distance from her for that reason alone. Speaking of throwing money…
“Rayna, I…I’m sorry for my…reclusive behavior this weekend.”
Her eyes shot up to me like a child in need of affirmation from its parent. Fuck! That confirmed my actions affected her. But I felt she had some level of culpability there as well.
“It’s just that when you…flout me for spending money, it makes me feel rejected and that I’m not good enough. Hell, I now know how defeated a broke man feels when he can’t approach a high maintenance woman or one who out earns him. I just want to make you happy, and more often than I prefer, I feel that I’m not the man for the job.”
She looked confused across the dining room table with now cold surf and turf between us.
“Azmir, you’re more than good enough,” she muttered just above a whisper in a “don’t-go-there” manner as her eyes met the table. She seemed so torn. After a beat, she nervously scratched her eyebrows while her gaze was fixed on the table.
“There was this girl back at home…older than me—Corinne. And Corinne was sought out by the flyest dope boy in the game. He had the money green Beamer and the fattest gold rope with matching teeth. Whenever he pulled up into the projects his sound system would announce his arrival and everyone would be looking down from their terraces or coming from around the building to check him out.” I saw a hint of a smile on her flawless and makeup free face.
“Well, he had his eyes set on Corinne, a quiet, polite…beautiful young girl. It took him months to win her over. He’d buy her every color of the Classic Reeboks, the latest Jordan’s, the gold plated necklaces and bamboo earrings with her name inscribed—you know…hooked her up!” Rayna exclaimed with a bellyful chuckle. I had to laugh myself at the visual.
“Her parents moved south and of course, Corinne wasn’t leaving him. So she stayed behind and he got her an apartment in the same building as me and we all saw when the sleek money green leather sofas were delivered and when she pulled up in her red baby Beamer matching his. They were living the life! Every girl wanted to be Corinne back then. She was the hood princess. But he got knocked a couple of months after Corinne got her apartment. It wasn’t that long before we saw the repo man come get the car and management evicted her because she had no means of maintaining her lifestyle without ol’ boy.” Rayna took a long swig of her wine before continuing.
“She had to stay with people until her parents could afford to send for her.” She snapped out o
f herself and muttered, “Anyway, a far reaching story, but it has a lot to do with why I said I never wanted to become so dependent on a man that I couldn’t function on my own in his absence. So a man with money wasn’t in my dreams…if I had dreams of love.” A frown fell upon her face at that thought.
Was she saying that she had no hopes of a relationship?
She snorted, “…or a drug dealer.”
Oh, fuck! I froze in my chair. Although her revelations didn’t derive from my life it felt like a warning shot.
“Azmir, you look horrified. No…no! With us it’s a little different. I have my own, but I…I just don’t want you to assume the role in my life as a provider. I can fend for myself. You’ve gone far above mere material things in my life. You’ve…you’ve made me look at myself and want to be a better Rayna. Shoot…” She snorted as her eyes were still south of her face, “…you talk about not being good enough—it seems like since I’ve met you I’ve been able to identify all things that are wrong…broken in me.”
At that moment, she was beautifully broken and I didn’t want her to wallow in that on my account. Silence coursed between us for some time. Eventually, I decided I couldn’t bear it anymore. I reached over the table and began moving dishes to either side the two lit candles in the center. I started with my side, worked my way to the center serving dishes and then I reached her side. She eyed my every move enquiringly.
I rose from my chair and walked around to her. Her mouth hung open in surprise and confusion. When I arrived to her, I stood her up by taking her hand, lowered myself to her racing eyes, and cupped her face as I gazed into them, got lost in them. Even in her bewilderment she was gorgeous. I moved my head to hers and tasted her lips. Her soft lips tasting of tangy Riesling. She let out a groan. I felt her hands grab the wings of my back as I tipped her head back to kiss her neck. She smelled of citrus.
