MAKE ME A MATCH (Running Wild)

by Hutchinson, Bobby

  “Maybe just drop by. Make her laugh. She really had fun with you the other evening.”

  “Sure. I could even tell her about this guy who pretended to be a cowboy at the symphony.” There was a smile in her voice.

  He smiled back and drawled, “Go ahead, make my day.”

  She laughed. “Okay, Clint. And I’ll sort through the files and find you another babe.”

  “There’s a better way, y’know.” He’d been giving this a lot of thought. “You could come out with me yourself, sort of like an educational thing. You’re an expert at this matchmaking stuff; you could give me pointers on what I’m doing wrong. A school for the romantically challenged. What do you think?”

  She made a noise that could be called a snort. “You’re a devious man, Stewart. I shudder to think what you’ll come up with next.”

  “It would be a kind thing to do, Tessa. Altruistic. You could start maybe tonight. We could do something easy, like go to a movie, have a pizza. What’d’ya say?”

  “If shoes were clues, you’d be barefoot, Eric. I’m not on the menu.”

  He was still laughing as he hung up, and almost immediately the phone rang again. He snatched it up.

  “I knew you’d change your mind, I’ll pick you up at—”

  “Eric.” Sophie’s voice was tense. “Can you come over to Karen’s right away?”

  Adrenaline shot through him and he shot to his feet. “What’s wrong? Is she okay? Are the kids….”

  “Nobody’s physically injured. There was a bad scene at Junella’s and Karen’s hysterical. I’ve given her a shot. Anna’s on her way over, Bruno, too. We need to have a family conference.”

  Twenty-three and a half minutes later, Sophie met Eric when he came charging in the door of Karen’s condo.

  “What the hell’s going on?”

  At first glance, everything seemed calm enough. Ian and Simon sat at the table eating peanut butter- and-jam sandwiches, one on either side of Bruno. Anna was pouring tea.

  Sophie said to the boys, “You guys take your sandwiches in the TV room and watch cartoons, okay?”

  Simon shook his head. “We can’t eat in there. We’re not ’lowed cause Ian spilled Spaghettios on the rug.”

  “You can this once. I’ll take the blame if anything spills,” Sophie declared, placing the food on small plates and escorting the boys out of the room.

  Eric sat down in the chair where Simon had been and shot to his feet again when he hit a puddle of milk.

  “Damn.” He scrubbed at his rear with a towel Anna tossed him. “Okay, what’s happening? Where’s Karen?”

  “Zonked out in bed,” Anna said. “She was screaming and laughing and crying all at the same time, so Sophie gave her a shot. It calmed her down, in fact it knocked her cold. I don’t really agree with tranquilizers. It’s better if the person can get in touch with their emotions and ask what’s really wrong, or simply watch the feelings as they happen; that way it’s easier to embrace them and just gently let them go.”

  “Anna, can you just cut the crap for once and tell me what exactly happened here?” Eric’s head was starting to pound.

  Sophie came back in. Relieved that at least one of his sisters was still sane, Eric turned to her.

  “What gives, Soph?”

  Sophie flopped into a chair and heaved a sigh. “I got a call at work from Junella at Scissor Happy. She screamed at me that Karen had gone nuts and I’d better come and get her or an ambulance would pick her up. I found someone to take over for me and when I got to the salon, it was some kind of nightmare.” She shook her head and ran her fingers through her hair.

  “Clients were running around with towels and rollers on their head, Junella was hyperventilating, and there was this half-bald woman in the middle of it all crying and screaming about a lawsuit. I finally got the story out of Junella. Karen had been working on the woman’s hair. Her name is Myrna Bisaglio, and my guess is she was giving Karen a hard time over the cut or color or something. Anyhow, according to one of the other operators, Karen just suddenly snapped. She grabbed electric clippers and cut a wide swath right down the center of the old bat’s head. The woman was too shocked to move so Karen did another one. Good job, too, she cut a bald strip about four inches wide, smooth as a baby’s bum.”

  There was silence as Eric digested Sophie’s words.

  It was Anna who giggled first. She put a palm over her mouth, but she couldn’t hold it back, and within seconds they were all laughing.

  Eric was the first to pull himself together and think of the logistics.

  “Junella must have insurance to cover stuff like this, but she’s going to try and make Karen pay, you can bet on that. I’ll give Fletcher a call and find out what the legal ramifications are.”

  Sophie nodded. “Good idea. Junella hollered as we were leaving that Karen’s fired, not to show her face in the salon again. Bet she tries to hold back on the wages she owes her, too.”

  Eric said, “We’ll just see about that.”

  “If she’s fired, maybe that’s the best thing that could happen,” Anna declared. “The universe has obviously arranged this so that Karen can make a new beginning, find a place where she’s appreciated, where there’s potential for spiritual growth. There wasn’t at Scissor Happy. Junella was always jealous of her. Junella really projects her own inadequacies on everyone around her. I mean, we all do, but she’s extreme. It helps so much to know that projection is perception.”

  Sometimes Eric wondered if Anna was on the same planet as the rest of them, never mind the same page. Bruno rolled his eyes and exchanged a look with Eric.

  “Karen needs a holiday. She needs to get away by herself for a while,” Sophie interpreted.

  That made sense to Eric, and he nodded. “She’s had an emotional meltdown, that’s for sure.”

  “So what can we do?” Always practical, Bruno’s concern was mirrored in his face.

  “How much time do you figure she needs in order to get it together, Soph?” A plan was beginning to take shape in Eric’s head, but it would take the cooperation of all of them to implement it.

  Sophie said, “Ideally, six weeks. At the least a month.”

  “This is just a suggestion, see what you all think,” Eric said. “Karen still misses Mom and Dad, why I’ll never know, but she does. So I’ll pay for a plane ticket to Mexico and make sure she’s got enough money so she doesn’t have to rely on those two for anything when she gets there. I’ll cover her mortgage and expenses here while she’s gone, so she doesn’t have that to worry about. But that leaves the boys. She has to know they’re taken care of, or she won’t agree to go.”

  “I’ve got leave coming from the hospital,” Sophie said. “I’ll take Simon and Ian for the next week or ten days. Simon’s kindergarten is finished for the year. We can visit parks and do fun things.”

  “Great.” Eric turned and looked expectantly at Anna, sitting on his left. After all, she was the only one who didn’t have a nine-to-five job. She was peeling polish off her nails with her head down and her hair covering half her face, and she didn’t look up.

  But Bruno leaped eagerly into the gap. “We’ll take them for the rest of the time, right, Anna?”

  Anna didn’t answer, and Eric saw her fingers curl into knots on her lap. “Well, I do have that spiritual intensive I registered for months ago. I can’t really cancel now, Bruno, it’s a two-week course. And I’m not convinced that sending Karen away is the right answer, because wherever you go, there you are.”

  That bit of philosophy went sailing right over Eric’s head. He knew better than to question it. Instead, he stuck to the practical.

  “When is this course of yours, Anna?” He was trying to figure out whether he could possibly manage Ian and Simon on his own. Maybe he could get Gladys and Henry to pitch in, because he’d need all the help he could get. He’d watched his nephews in action, and it wasn’t pretty.

  “The first two weeks in August.” She sounded sull
en.

  Eric was studying his pocket calendar. “That means the kids can spend a couple weeks with you, and then I’ll take them.”

  Anna was still staring at her damned nails.

  “Well, I don’t know….” she sounded as if she was about to refuse, but again Bruno jumped in with both feet.

  “I’ll make sure I’m at home. I can do a lot of my work away from the office. I’ll take care of them.”

  “Great. Thanks, Bruno.” What the hell was wrong with Anna? Eric had expected her to offer to take the boys for the whole summer.

  Bruno added, “We can take them away on a holiday, Anna. We’ll go camping. We can go to that lake where we went on our honeymoon, the boys would love it there.”

  Anna looked unhappy. “I’m not sure if I can get away, I do have appointments for readings all summer, Bruno.”

  “Anna, for God’s sake, this is a family emergency.” Bruno gave his wife a disbelieving look. “Call those people and tell them to come in before we go or after we get back. The planets aren’t going to go on strike just because you change around a few astrology readings.”

  “Honestly, Bruno, that really shows how little respect you have for what I do.” Anna’s face was getting red, her voice rising, her eyes narrowing. “Just because I’m not doing a nine-to-five job anymore doesn’t mean I’m not working. Just because I’m doing something outside the box doesn’t mean it’s not important.”

  Bruno eyes narrowed. “I know that. Don’t get going on this again, Anna. We’ve been over it and over it.” He crossed his arms on his chest and got a stubborn look on his face. “I want those boys, I want to take them fishing. I want to play catch with them. I want to take them camping and roast wieners and tell ghost stories.” He glared at her. “I want to take them to matinees, go swimming with them.”

  Anna huffed out an exasperated sigh. “It sounds to me as if you don’t just want to get in touch with your inner child. You want to actually be a kid again yourself. You ought to take a good look at that, Bruno. Where is that coming from?”

  To Eric’s amazement, malleable old Bruno gave his wife a killer glare and said, “That’s enough of that shit, Anna. Your theories are one thing, but this is family we’re talking here.”

  And just like that, she caved, but not with good grace.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Tulips are the vodka of flowers

  “Okay, okay, we’ll take them. But I want to be back to go to the intensive. The instructor already said I have a lot of potential for channeling, I just need to develop it. ”

  Jesus. Eric figured his dotty, selfish sister could use a course in family relations and generosity taught by her husband, but he wasn’t about to say so and have her change her mind again. Instead he gave a sigh of relief and said, “Okay, it looks like we’ve got this sorted. As long as Karen agrees, I’ll book her a ticket to Mexico. The damned funeral is tomorrow. You think she’s in any shape to go, Sophie?”

  “We’ll let her decide.”

  Eric nodded.

  Sophie said, ‘You gonna call the parents and tell them she’s coming, or you want me to do it?” “I’ll do it.” It probably wouldn’t do any good to tell them Karen needed their help, but he’d try it anyway. “Maybe you could talk to Karen, though, Soph? She’s liable to get it in her head that she won’t go away without the kids.”

  Sophie thought about it. “I don’t think so. I think she’s exhausted, physically and emotionally. She’s overwhelmed with everything. She’s asleep right now, but the shot I gave her will wear off in a couple hours. I’ve got to go back to work, but I’ll come back about six and stick around for the weekend.”

  Bruno shot Anna a defiant look. “I’m gonna take the kids to the park now for a couple hours and then we’ll go for burgers. We might see that movie that’s on, the one about dinosaurs. I’ve been wanting to see it. You coming, Anna?”

  “Bruno, you know I can’t. I’ve got to meditate, and then I’ve got my yoga class.”

  “Fine, I’ll take the kids on my own.”

  The doorbell rang, and Anna shot to her feet. “I’ll get it. I’m leaving anyway. Bye everybody.”

  She waved a hand in Bruno’s direction, but she didn’t look at him. There was silence as she grabbed her handbag from the counter and hurried down the hall to the door.

  “Everyone’s in the kitchen, just go straight through,” Eric heard her say, and a moment later Tessa walked in.

  She was carrying an immense bouquet of red and yellow tulips, and Eric could see she was ill at ease when she found them all there. Her eyes went from one to the other and met his full on.

  “Hey, Tessa, give me your coat.” He got to his feet and waited as she slipped her raincoat off. He hung it in the closet.

  Sophie said, “You remember Anna’s husband, Bruno Lifkin?”

  Tessa shook her head, so Sophie made the introductions. “You want a coffee? I’m about to make a fresh pot. And let me take those tulips. They’re totally beautiful. Karen’s gonna love them.”

  “Where is Karen?” Tessa handed the flowers over.

  “Asleep. Come sit down and we’ll explain.” Eric patted the chair Anna had vacated, right next to him.

  She sat, and he could smell her perfume. Her hair had shiny raindrops hidden in the thick dark curls. She was wearing a short denim skirt, and no stockings. She crossed her legs, great legs. He noticed her hand when she reached down to put her handbag on the floor beside her chair. She had good hands, strong and long-fingered. No rings. Damn, she was one sexy lady.

  Her voice was hesitant. “Is—is anything wrong? I decided to drop by after work, I tried to reach Karen at the hair salon, but maybe I had the wrong place because the woman who answered said Karen wasn’t working there anymore.”

  “She isn’t.” Sophie poured a cup of coffee for Tessa. “Karen sort of lost it at work today and her boss fired her. She’s sleeping just now.”

  “What can I do to help? Can I take the kids for the weekend?”

  Classy, this lady. Anna could learn from this. “Thanks, I think we’ve got the kids sorted, but if you and Eric could maybe stick around for a while?”

  Tessa tensed, but then she nodded. “Absolutely.”

  Sophie glanced at her watch. “I have to get back to the ER, Bruno’s taking the kids out, but somebody should be here when Karen wakes up. I didn’t give her a very strong sedative. I’ll be back about eight-thirty, nine.”

  Bruno went to get the kids.

  Sophie left, and the excited boys burst into the kitchen, searching for shoes and jackets. Eric and Tessa helped. After a short, frantic, noisy time zipping zips, fastening shoes, and locating an action figure Ian insisted had to come with him, Bruno got them out the door and silence fell in the small yellow-painted kitchen.

  Eric hadn’t noticed till now that there were plants in the window, crumbs on the counter, finger marks on the cupboards, Lego pieces scattered around, artwork on the door of the fridge.

  The tulips blazed. And there was him and Tessa and with any luck at all, Karen would go on sleeping till Soph got back.

  A little block of time with the lady. What would she do if he came on to her?

  “More coffee?” Eric lifted the pot and set it down again when she shook her head.

  “I’ve had too much caffeine today.” She gave him a look. “Rough day at the office, lots of complaining.”

  “Yeah, I heard.” He winked at her.

  She smiled and shook her head, then waited until he sat down, across from her this time because it seemed silly to take the chair right beside her when they were all alone, even though he really liked it there.

  “Eric, can you tell me exactly what happened with Karen, or is it confidential?”

  “Nope, it’s the sort of thing that ought to be posted as a warning to nasty customers on the walls of beauty salons.” He related the story, enjoying the way her dark eyes widened and her mouth dropped when he got to the head-shaving bit. He liked her wit
h her mouth open.

  “Omigod.” He could see her struggling with the urge to laugh and losing. A giggle bubbled up and out, and she put her palm over her mouth.

  “Sorry, sorry, I just keep seeing—” she lost the battle. Between chortles she gasped, “It’s perfect, good for Karen.” She sobered and added, “Maybe not so good, though. She lost her job. Will she have trouble getting another one?”

  “Who knows?” He hadn’t got that far yet. “Losing her job isn’t the worst part. Losing her cool is what has me worried.” He explained what the family had decided to do.

  “I love the way all of you support one another.” He shrugged, pleased but also a little embarrassed. “Hey, it’s business as usual. All families hang together in a crisis.”

  “Nope.” She scowled and toyed with her coffee mug. “Mine doesn’t, not in the same way. But I guess it’s harder when there’s only one kid.”

  “Doubly hard when your folks are split up.”

  “It wouldn’t even be that bad if they’d only just make up their minds once and for all to stay divorced.” Her voice and her face reflected her disgust. “Would you believe that as we speak, my mother is probably somewhere on the freeway on the back of a motorcycle driven by my dad? Who, I might add, has two citations for speeding already on that thing.”

  She did righteous really well. “What’s Maria doing riding around on the back of Walter’s motorcycle?”

  “They’re dating. After years and years of hating each other, now they’ve decided to date again.” He wanted to laugh at the appalled, outraged expression on her face, but he didn’t dare. “So what do you think brought on the peace settlement?”

  She held out her hands, palms up. “Who knows? For years I’ve listened to Maria go on about Walter’s faults, how she was way too young when they met, how he took advantage of her, how she should never have married him, this, you understand, even though she was five months along with me at the time. Which always made me feel responsible for the whole mess.” She blew out an exasperated breath. “Then she suddenly broke the news that they were seeing each other again.” She paused and then added, “It really bugs me.” Her voice dropped and she leaned toward him.