Ashes & Embers Series Collection (Books 1 to 4)

by Carian Cole

“If you ever need to talk, or need anything at all, you’re welcome to call me. I honestly mean that.”

  “I really appreciate that. Thank you.”

  She stares out the glass windows for a moment, thinking. “Mothers aren’t supposed to pick favorites, you know. But between you and me, Storm has always kind of been my favorite. I love all my kids, but there’s just something about him. He always makes me laugh. He has such a good heart, he always has. When Britney died, he changed. I didn’t think he’d ever be happy again.”

  Britney. Now I have a name to put with the girl he married.

  “He’s never spoken of her,” I say. “But I read about her.”

  “No, he rarely talks about her. She was a very troubled young girl. Teen love is so full of angst. She set her sights on him and that was it. She had a lot of problems at home, the poor girl. An alcoholic father, her mother was hardly ever home. I think she saw Storm as her savior, and she envied the closeness he had with his family. And he tried so hard to make her happy. She had crazy mood swings, happy one day and completely miserable the next.

  “She was hard on him. Nothing was good enough. I think she pushed him into marriage because she wanted to get away from her parents. And I hate to say this, but I think because she knew we had money, she thought he was her golden ticket. Our kids have always made their own way, though. We never threw money at them. Things got bad for them—she did drugs, she cheated on him, and she wanted everything under the sun. New car, a house, vacations. She berated his music, his work on motorcycles—everything he did. All he wanted was to be loved. I don’t think she ever did love him, though. He was too young to be going through all of that and being responsible for someone who was so unstable. It took a huge toll on him. Then getting pregnant really pushed her over the edge. She hung herself in their bedroom closet, and he found her that way. It was absolutely horrible.”

  I gasp and cover my mouth. The thought of it makes me feel sick on so many levels. What went through the poor girl’s head to make her want to end her own life? And her child’s? Storm must have been completely devastated.

  “He blamed himself for a long time. He turned to drugs and alcohol. It tore us apart to see him that way.” She gives me a weak smile. “I know you’re wondering why I dragged you out here to talk about this, and it certainly wasn’t to depress you. And maybe I shouldn’t have told you all that, but the thing that happened with you and Storm and being trapped in the truck together? I think you formed a special bond. Am I right?”

  “Yes. I know it sounds crazy, but we did.”

  “He hasn’t been in or wanted to be in a relationship in a very long time. He cares about you very much, and I can see why. You two have chemistry. The way he looks at you and touches you, it’s like you’ve been together forever.”

  Talking so openly about this should feel awkward, but with her, it doesn’t. “Aria, we do have some sort of connection. I can’t deny that, but I am in a relationship. Did Storm tell you that?”

  She nods slowly. “Yes, he did. And I told him he should stay away and respect that. He says he can’t.”

  “I’m afraid he’ll hurt me,” I admit. “I’m not sure I fit into his world.”

  “Oh, trust me, Evelyn. I understand. I dated and married a musician. I’ve been through it all. Was it easy? No. Was it worth it? You bet your ass it was. It’s not for everyone, though. It’s a hard lifestyle to get accustomed to.”

  “I just don’t know what to do. I wasn’t prepared for any of this . . . meeting someone else and having feelings for them . . . considering leaving a twelve-year relationship . . . being on my own. Dating a rock star sounds insane to me, I’m sorry.” It’s the truth. I can’t lie to his mother.

  “He has a lot of love to give, Evelyn. Look how he treats his dog, for God’s sake.” She laughs and I laugh with her. “I just don’t want to see him get hurt, Evelyn. And I can tell you are not the type to do that. But you do have a decision to make, honey. And I don’t envy you at all because I have been exactly where you are.”

  My head jerks up. “Really? Were you with someone when you met Ronnie?”

  “Yes. I was engaged. I met Ronnie at a concert, and I went head over heels for him. A few weeks later, I cancelled my wedding, my parents disowned me, and I was living in the back of a tour bus. I loved him, though. I couldn’t get enough of him. No one made me feel like he did and still does to this day. Sometimes, the right person comes along at the wrong time, and you have to just trust fate and hope it leads you in the right direction and it all evens out.”

  “Wow. You’re very lucky. Storm really admires what you and your husband have. He talked about you when we were in the truck.”

  “I am very blessed. And I think you are, too.” She pats my hand. “We should get back to them. I’m sure Gram has dessert ready. I just want you to know there is so much more to him than what you see. You can talk to me anytime if you need to and I really do hope you become part of our family someday. I want to see my boys settle down a bit.”

  We stand and I give her a big hug. “Thank you so much, Aria. I really care about your son. I won’t hurt him.”

  Returning to the living room and taking my seat with Storm leaning against my legs again feels like home. All of this reminds me so much of my childhood. This is what I miss and what I want. A family, a house full of love and laughter.

  His gram makes us hot cocoa, just as Storm described to me during the blizzard, and then they open their presents. Asher makes an appearance, standing in the doorway. He smiles, but it never reaches his eyes. It’s hard for me to look at him, almost a mirror image of the man I am falling in love with, and see the sadness. I’m pretty sure he is the vocalist of their band, and now I am really curious to see him on stage next week. I always thought lead singers were outgoing, but I don’t see that in Asher at all.

  I am sad to go when the night is over. His family kisses me and hugs me, telling me they will see me again soon. Well, everyone but Asher, who just nods at me.

  “I’m glad you came tonight.” We’re parked in front of my condo in the dark. I feel sleepy from all the food and the long drive home.

  “Thank you for inviting me. I had a great time. Your family is amazing.”

  “They like you.”

  “Your brother seems sad. Is he okay?”

  “He’s chasing a ghost. But he’ll be all right.”

  I cock my head at him, not understanding.

  “It’s a story for another time, baby. He’s okay, though. Next week at the show, you’ll meet my other brothers Talon and Mikah, and my cousins Vandal and Lukas.”

  More brothers and two cousins. I hope they all don’t look like Storm. I absolutely love the names, too. When Amy and I were young, we came up with a theory—anyone with a cool name was good-looking and cool by default. So far, we have not found evidence to disprove this theory.

  Saying goodbye to Storm is getting harder. It feels wrong for us to part now. In my heart, I feel like we should be going home together, falling asleep in each other’s arms.

  He breaks into my thoughts. “I go on tour in two weeks.”

  “Okay . . .”

  “We don’t tour a lot. None of us really want to be some huge band that tours non-stop, so we tour about two months, sometimes three out of the year. Then we do a few scattered shows here and there, and some of the smaller local venues.”

  I nod, trying to let it sink in. This is his life, the part I know nothing about. The part that scares me the most. I like him this way, when he is just some regular guy in a truck, holding my hand.

  He touches my chin and turns me to face him. “I’ll call you and text you every day. If you want me to?”

  “Yes. I would really like that.”

  “I want to come home to you. I don’t want to come back to this.”

  I would have to make my choice. In my heart, I already knew what that choice was. I just needed to get my head on board with it.

  “Evie, you gotta s
top living in fear. You can’t see the stars unless you go out in the dark. You get what I’m saying?”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  “WOW, MIKE. YOU’RE REALLY HOT FOR this band, aren’t you? I think I see some gel in your hair. Fancy.” Amy raises her eyebrows and playfully touches Michael’s hair. She glances over at me and winks. I flash her a warning look to behave herself. Amy has a real hard time not poking at people and getting them aggravated. I’m not even sure it’s a great idea to bring her to the show now that I’ve had more time to think about it. Her knowing the situation between Storm and me will only fuel her endless taunting, and I already feel awkward enough about being under the same roof with both Michael and Storm.

  Michael takes our coats out of the closet in the hallway and hands mine to me. “Ashes and Embers have been one of my favorite bands for years. They fucking rock. There aren’t many good rock bands around anymore. It’s kind of a dying breed. Fuckin’ Storm can really rip on the guitar, too.” He turns to me. “Have you heard him play live?”

  I pull my coat on and lift my hair out from under the collar. “No, he didn’t seem to have a guitar strapped to him when we were trapped in the back seat during the storm of the century, sorry.”

  I check myself in the mirror one more time before we leave, thinking my looks and outfit really pale in comparison to Amy’s short skirt, long legs, four-inch heels, and plunging neckline. Not to mention her gorgeous face and hair. Standing next to her in my skinny jeans, black boots, and a black silk peasant blouse, I feel just . . . average. Amy looks more like she could be the potential girlfriend of a rock star, not me.

  Michael and Amy talk nonstop on the drive to the venue, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I’m excited to see Storm play, to see him in his true element. I’m also nervous as hell at the thought of him meeting Michael. I absolutely hate the position I have gotten myself into—having feelings for another man while still in a relationship. I used to scoff at people who got themselves in similar situations and claimed ‘it just happened.’ I could never understand how they could say that and expect people to believe it. But now I know all too well because it did ‘just happen.’ I didn’t plan or want the mess with Storm, and I would change it if I could.

  That’s a lie. No, I wouldn’t. Now that I’ve felt his touch, been in his arms, felt his body, tasted his lips . . .

  “Are you going to be mute all night?”

  “Huh?”

  “You’ve been daydreaming since we left the house,” Michael says.

  “Maybe she’s just bored,” Amy pipes up from the backseat. God, I want to kick her.

  “I’m not bored or daydreaming, I was just listening to you two argue, as usual.”

  When we pull into the parking lot of the venue, there are a lot of people hanging around outside, smoking and talking real loud. Most of the women I see are dressed sexy like Amy. Shit. No wonder Storm always has a girl hanging on him in all the photos I’ve seen of him online. I’ll bet most of these girls are those groupie types I’ve seen on TV who just come to party and have sex with the guys. Eww.

  There is a short line to get in, as apparently your name has to be on the list, and a big, muscular guy at the door is checking the names off on an iPad he’s holding. Michael gives him our names, and we are then escorted to a table inside, right up front.

  A good-looking guy with shaggy, jet-black hair that is spiked up a bit on the top and sides is sitting at the table with a pretty girl, who is also dressed rather tame like myself. He stands when he sees us.

  “Hey, I’m Lukas. You guys must be Evelyn, Mike, and Amy?”

  “That’s us,” I say. “You’re Storm’s cousin?” Is everyone in his family just sexy as hell? It’s sinful.

  He flashes an adorably crooked smile. He looks young to me, maybe early twenties. He’s also covered in tattoos and has a piercing through his lip and his eyebrow. “Yup, that’s me. Have a seat. This is Ivy.” He gestures toward the girl sitting next to him, who looks like a deer in headlights, but manages to smile at us. She is clearly just as uncomfortable being here as I am. I choose to sit next to her, and Amy sits on my other side with Michael next to her. I know Amy did this on purpose to put distance between Michael and me.

  She leans over to me. “Holy shit, Lukas is a fucking cutie!” she whispers.

  “Try to control yourself,” I whisper back to her, hoping Ivy didn’t hear Amy’s big mouth. Lukas didn’t introduce her as his girlfriend, but he was holding her hand on the table so I assume they must be some sort of together.

  I take a look around the dim room. The stage has a curtain drawn, so I can’t see anything up there. The rest of the place is pretty packed with people. Lots of guys with long hair wearing leather, surrounded by gorgeous women. Tattoos and tits galore. There’s a bar in the back and a small area selling some band swag, like the sweatshirt Storm gave me while in the truck. Which I haven’t washed, by the way, because I’m sick like that, and I like that it still smells like us.

  I can feel him before I see him, and I know that sounds weird but it’s true. An electric, warm, tingly feeling comes over me whenever he is near. I turn to my left and there he is to the side of the stage, handing a guitar to someone, but his eyes are on me. He approaches our table like a panther. Slow, confident, taking in Amy and Michael before his eyes land on me and stay there. He looks amazing in faded blue jeans, black biker boots, a white button-down shirt that is hanging open, displaying his drool-worthy abs, and a black leather vest. As he comes closer, I can see he has that damn smoky kohl eyeliner smudged beneath his eyes, making the green orbs appear even greener.

  He greets Lukas first with a fist bump then kisses Ivy on the cheek. She looks absolutely petrified of him.

  He turns his attention to us.

  “I’m glad you guys could make it. You gonna introduce me to your friends, baby?” He rests his hand on my shoulder as he stands next to our table. Oh, shit. He’s not going to play nice.

  I force myself to speak as casually as I can. “This is my best friend, Amy, and this is my boyfriend, Michael.” Storm shakes their hands politely, but I catch him eyeing Michael.

  “Hey, man. Thanks so much for inviting us. I’ve been a fan since the early days,” Michael says, totally oblivious that Storm’s hand is now on the back of my neck.

  Storm nods. “No problem.”

  Michael continues. “And thanks for taking care of my girl. Sorry if she drove ya crazy.”

  “Yeah, she really did drive me crazy,” Storm answers, giving my neck a gentle squeeze.

  “Can I get your autograph? And a picture?” Amy squeals. I should have known she wouldn’t be able to keep her shit together for long.

  Storm laughs. “Sure thing, honey.” He signs the back of her checkbook and then she thrusts her cell phone at me.

  “Take our picture, Ev.”

  I roll my eyes and snap a few photos with their arms around each other. I try not to seethe. “Happy now?” I ask.

  She grabs the phone. “No. Now you stand next to Storm and I’ll take your picture.”

  Clever girl. Now I’ll have a picture of Storm and I together.

  Storm pulls me into an embrace and we smile at the camera while Amy taps away at the screen. Michael isn’t even paying attention. He’s now deep in a conversation with Lukas and Ivy.

  “Okay, that’s enough,” I say. Before I can get away, Storm leans down and whispers against my ear, “You look beautiful. I want to drag you backstage.”

  My heart twirls as I break away from him and take my seat, just in time to see Juggsy, the girl with the huge boobs, come up and link her arm in Storm’s. She’s wearing a bright pink V-neck sweater that barely covers her girls, and Michael’s eyes immediately leave his convo with Lukas, practically diving into her cleavage.

  She completely ignores us and pulls on Storm’s arm. “Ash wants you backstage.”

  “Tell him I’ll be there in a minute.”

  Juggsy isn’t happy. “He said I sho
uld come get you. Now.”

  “I’m talking to my friends. Go tell him I’ll be there in a sec.” Juggsy eyes Amy and me like a wicked bitch then stomps off, boobs bouncing.

  “She’s lovely,” Amy says.

  Storm smirks at her. “Yeah, she kind of helps us stay organized.”

  “They have day planners for that. Cell phone apps, too,” Amy replies, pinning him with her eyes.

  I kick Amy under the table.

  Storm nods, giving her his famous grin. “Yup.” He diverts his eyes to me. “I gotta go. You guys enjoy the show.” He smiles at me and walks away.

  I feel sick. I didn’t know Juggsy was a sort of permanent fixture. I wonder if he’s sleeping with her. I wonder if the black bra in his truck is hers.

  “Holy shit, Ev, that man is fiiiine. Those fucking eyes,” she whispers loudly at me. “Why are you not letting him jump your ass, like, right now?”

  “Amy, control yourself. Michael is right next to you,” I say through clenched teeth. “And it looks like he already has someone to jump on, in case you didn’t notice.”

  “Come on, Ev. You’re not jealous of that slut, are you? He clearly wasn’t interested. He had his eyes riveted to you the entire time he was here.”

  “Yeah, and what about when I’m not around? She must be around all the time.”

  “Stop it, Ev. Don’t be a jealous freak. You stake your territory and show that bitch he’s yours.”

  “He’s not mine, Amy.”

  She leans closer. “He fucking wants to be! You have to make up your mind, or you’re right, he will go to someone like that. Someone like him isn’t going to wait around forever. Don’t leave him available for Miss Skanks-a-lot!”

  The lights dim, people take their seats, and a few people yell ‘woo!’ and ‘yeah!’ The curtain rises slowly, there’s fog on the stage, and different colored lights suddenly shine down on each band member. The drummer bangs out a quick intro and they go straight into playing. The song is catchy, a mix of rock and blues, and they sound great, in perfect sync.