Evolution

by Sam Kadence

  I was thrilled to be back at the studio for the first time in ages. At least now I could be me, play the music that meant something to me, and not just popular crap some random person sent my way. My vocal coach helped with five out of the stack, spending most of the day mastering the melody with me and pushing me to add more passion to the songs. She had me singing with tears streaming down my face or struggling not to laugh. And I couldn’t have been flying higher until a familiar dark shadow stepped into the practice room.

  It should have been Rob since I hadn’t seen him all day—and really didn’t want to—but it was Devon. He stood there staring at me, looking very much like he’d walked out of the pages of a pop magazine centerfold. He gave my voice coach a minor smile. “Can I talk to Gene for a few minutes, Lauren?”

  She nodded and left us alone. When the door closed, it felt a lot like a prison cell door had slammed shut. The man before me didn’t much look like the man I’d first met a few years ago. That man had been smiling, filled with light, and ready to teach a newbie like me the ropes. This man was shrouded in shadows and pain.

  “Hey, Devon.”

  He moved toward me, hand outstretched as though to touch my face. I stepped away. He stopped and frowned. “I spoke to your manager, and the papers are signed. You and I are going to do a duet for my next album.”

  I blinked at him, damning my contract again for getting no say.

  “You used to love to sing with me.”

  Did he see himself like I saw him? He was nothing but a marionette acting out a personality that used to be my friend. “Who are you?” I finally had to ask.

  He threw me an unfriendly glare.

  “I’m serious, Devon. I don’t know what’s happened to you. Maybe an exorcist can help or something. But whatever this thing is, it’s killing you—taking you over. What will be left of you if it takes over completely?”

  “I’m in control!” He shouted at me so loudly the walls echoed.

  I thought back to the first night we’d met. His music had been a sort of Euro-rock-pop I’d loved in my early teens. And he’d been beautiful, sophisticated, and powerful. I’d played groupie at one of his shows to meet him and sang him a song I’d written before he could throw me to the curb for the young stalker I was.

  Had it been so long ago since he’d smiled? Since that brightness had filled his eyes? How had the darkness taken him? Then the realization hit me. That first day, he hadn’t been alone. In his dressing room had been a fiery redheaded woman who had been pawing through his clothes, telling him what to wear.

  “It was Gina leaving you, wasn’t it?”

  He stiffened, but the monster remained in control. If bringing up memories about his ex-wife would help bring him back, I’d do what I had to. He couldn’t keep clinging to a life he no longer had, maybe even wishing to die because he’d lost someone he’d loved.

  “She still loves you, Devon. I know she does.” She still handled his wardrobe, and when we used to hang out, she always came by to be sure he’d eaten. “But maybe it’s time to find someone else to love.”

  “You volunteering?” He shuffled forward, making me back against the wall.

  “I’m in love with Kerstrande.”

  “A vampire.” He spit the words out like they had a bad taste.

  “Pot, kettle.” So maybe Devon didn’t drink blood, but he was just as dark as KC could be—darker in fact at times, like right now.

  “You know nothing.”

  “I know I want my friend back.” I put my hands on him, reversing our roles. “So give him back to me. I want the guy who laughs and whose pretty blue eyes twinkle at my silly jokes. I want the guy who sings with everything he’s ever experienced so I can compete with him. I want my mentor and friend back.”

  “You’re just food to me.” His blue eyes turned black, but I didn’t try to get away. He needed help. A lot like Joel needed help. “Once I would have loved you. Now I want to eat you.”

  I sighed and wrapped my arms around him, letting the heat of what I was flow free through my embrace. He was so physically cold. Maybe warming him would help. He leached energy from me in large swatches, more than Cris ever had, and I knew this was something far different than an incubus, if that’s what my friend called himself. Devon could suck the life out of me if he tried. Even now he glowed red with my power.

  But it was my power, so I had to smile and give him exactly what he wanted. The color intensified, and he dropped to his knees, panting. This was a lot like my ability to see the dead—either I embraced it, or I ran from it. Control came from taking the reins: just a tiny release, and the oven was on.

  “You burn!”

  “I’m not normal. But you always knew that, ever since I told you about your dead grandmother who wanted you to know how proud she was of you. How do you think she’d feel if she could see you now? Not proud, that’s for sure. I want my Devon back. Will you give him to me or make me take him from you?” I had no idea if I had the power to make whatever possessed him let him go, but I had to try.

  The shadow that shrouded him peeled back slowly, and he shook with the effort. “You’re just a kid.”

  The darkness inside him reached for me, and I shook my head. “Don’t, Devon. I won’t let you be the end of me. Or you.” I fed the heat into him, fanned the fire to grow hotter, gave it to him to devour. The heat around him brightened to white, and I had to look away. He cried out. The light faded, leaving him looking sunburnt but no longer shrouded by the darkness. It seeped away, slinking along the floor like some dark ooze.

  Devon wept. “He won’t stay away forever. I’ve thought I’ve gotten away before, and he keeps coming back.”

  I helped my friend up. “I know. We just need to make you stronger. For now, let’s sing a little, okay? I think your heart could use some lightening. I’ve got the perfect song for our duet.” And I did, since KC had finished my graveyard song. Devon’s high tenor would contrast nicely with my bass.

  The rest of the day passed with me singing with the real Devon and feeling a bit more in control of my life. He’d broken down twice during the song, but we sounded really great together, switching between melody and harmony. I realized how skilled he was and I was becoming. Maybe life would begin to head in the right direction now that I was starting to fix some of the things that had been broken. When I wished Devon a good night, I hoped he’d found a little more willpower to keep moving forward too.

  The glow of the microwave clock said a subway ride to the library and the cab home had taken more time than I was hoping it would. It was dark. KC hated that I was out so late. I knew the second I stepped inside that he was in a mood because the door to his study was closed. The ghosts peered at me from the bedroom, all worried, but I’d seen this show before.

  I’d never entered KC’s study before. In fact, I’d avoided it because he seemed to take his personal space very seriously. His introverted nature needed that separation, almost like a fortress to protect himself. But tonight I had a burning ache that had nothing to do with hormones and everything to do with the pounding of my heart.

  The newspaper had been filled with PG propaganda. Attacks on vampires, pictures of people they set on fire. How any media could print that, I didn’t know. Might as well post images of war zones and dead babies just for having parents of the wrong faith. It all seemed so pointless. And terrifying.

  I’d agreed to an interview with a magazine reporter who wanted to talk about PG’s statement about me. The world wanted me to be something other than human, so even if I said I was—and my medical records had been released to the public—they still saw what they wanted. Mr. Tokie warned me of some of the things they would ask. He even gave me a list of questions they might ask to think about for the next week, until I actually had to show up and talk face-to-face with some guy who would try to pretend he already knew me. The whole music thing was kind of frustrating. Very little of this world actually involved playing music.

  I knocked l
ightly on the door before stepping inside. KC’s computer reflected a dim glow across the room, but he hadn’t bothered to turn on the overhead. The only furniture in the room was the desk and the chair he sat in. Newspapers lay scattered everywhere, with the same horrific images I tried to escape seeing each day. How much more would it take to taint that last bit of peace inside me?

  He was typing something, though it didn’t look like an article, since the paragraph breaks were few. His fingers flew faster than I could have ever typed, his eyes staring straight ahead like he hadn’t heard me enter.

  “KC?”

  His shoulders stiffened, but he didn’t glance back.

  “Can we talk?”

  “You’re always talking. Didn’t I tell you to be home before dark?”

  “I’m home now.” I stepped up beside him and eased a stack of documents onto the desk before returning to my place beside the door.

  His fingers paused, but he didn’t turn from the screen. I wanted to see his face. Common sense told me to stay near the door, ready to flee as the shadows converged on him. They would cover his face, that colorful array of madness, squirming like slugs over the flesh. He needed to feed, and so far had refused to bite me even though I’d offered.

  “What is this?”

  “The paperwork to make you a legal vampire. You just have to fill out the areas I highlighted. I already signed the donor consent form. You need to eat.” The edges of fuzziness ate at my sight, but I refused to run yet. “I’ll pass out if you don’t eat soon. I’d rather make love to you than sleep ’cause your powers and mine don’t mix well.”

  “That’s not me, that’s you.”

  “I’m not a vampire.”

  He moved so fast that suddenly he was at the door in front of me, hand over mine on the knob. I gasped. His face danced with those wicked shadows. I expected anger, but he folded his arms around me and held me against his chest, breathing heavily. His arms trembled. “I don’t know if I can do it.”

  “KC?”

  “Stop it.” His voice was harsh. “Stop saying my name like that.”

  “Okay. Kerstrande?”

  He growled. “You have no idea how hard it is not to just throw you on the ground and take you. Bleed you and leave you broken. Don’t you realize that every time I touch you could be the last time you touch anyone?” He let go of me to glare at his hands. “I can’t control it.”

  “You need to eat. I understand that. If you won’t feed on me, then find someone you are willing to feed on.”

  He growled again.

  “I wish I could make it easier on you. Is there anything I can do to help?”

  “Stupid sentimentality. It doesn’t go away.”

  That made me smile. “When it does you’re no longer human. So I guess that’s a good thing.” I hugged him fiercely. “You’re not a monster. I love you. I’m okay with you drinking my blood. I’d like not to pass out for days, though, so if we could work on that, it’d be good.”

  He leaned against me, finding my neck with his lips, and I stretched out for him. “You’re not normal.”

  “Is that a bad thing?”

  He sighed and finally stopped fighting. He sank his fangs into my throat while his thigh pressed against my groin. I didn’t need the foreplay. Just feeling his strong mouth gulp deeply from me, knowing it was my blood that filled him, made me climax once and then race for another. The fuzziness and aggression flowed away. He licked and sucked gently at the wound until the bleeding stopped.

  The hickey wasn’t so bad this time. He kissed me with lips flavored with my blood and held me for some time into the night until we finally parted—me to make dinner, and him to finish writing out whatever emotional demons chased him tonight.

  I was at the counter finishing dinner a little while later when KC finally said, “I’m okay with it if you want to go home.”

  My long blink must have told him I was confused, because he continued. “To your apartment, I mean. The one your friend lent you.”

  Did he want me to leave?

  “I was thinking maybe we should do this the more normal way.”

  “This?”

  “This thing between us. You know, like date and stuff. I shouldn’t have just taken over everything like I did.”

  “I like being with you. I’m in love with you.”

  He stared at me. I knew that look. It was fear. This was going too fast for him, and he was freaking out. Okay, I could handle that. KC seemed to have a hard time with emotion in general and if he was feeling something for me, then of course he’d be afraid. It made me angry at Hane for playing with him to make him this way. Which reminded me of Joel. I’d have to get him out of Hane’s care as soon as possible.

  “Okay. Can you give me a ride later?”

  Some of the tension left his shoulders. “Sure.”

  I let the hurt go, knowing he wasn’t rejecting me. He was hiding from himself. “Will you go with me to get Joel?”

  “I still don’t think that’s wise.”

  “I wouldn’t have left you there either.”

  He sighed. “If you can prove you have control of him, you can keep him with you. If not, he’ll have to stay with Hane for now. Think about this tonight, and tomorrow, if you still want to do this, I will go with you.”

  “Will it be safe to move him in the daytime?”

  “The sunlight will make both him and Hane weaker, so if either of them attacks, we’ll be better prepared.”

  But that meant KC would be weaker too. “Will you stay with me today? At the apartment. Cris’s place, I mean. He said I could stay as long as I wanted.”

  KC gulped, the muscles in his long neck moving in a way that made me want to kiss him, follow those sleek lines up to his warm lips….

  “I’ll take you home and stop by before dawn to stay with you for the day. REA is going to take another media day. The police have been hounding them about Joel. Mr. Tokie may call you to do a last-minute interview, but there won’t be any other reason for you to go to the studio.”

  “Okay.” And just like that, I left him alone.

  When he dropped me off at my apartment later, I hugged him close until he stiffened and pulled away. Sure, he wasn’t good with emotions, but I was getting better at reading him. He played his fingers through my hair, his face was shadow-free, and he had a slight curve on his lips. He liked being with me. Maybe he wasn’t in love yet, but I hoped I could bring that out of him in time.

  “You’ll be back later?”

  “Before dawn,” he promised. He glanced away and then back. “Sometimes it’s just hard at night. Dealing with stuff, you know.”

  I nodded like I did and watched him walk away. Mikka rubbed against my leg and mewed, letting me know she was tired. “Let’s get some sleep,” I told her. Besides, I planned on spending a lot more intimate time with KC when he got back from wherever his brooding took him. I’d need to recharge before then.

  Chapter 29

  THE graveyard dream seemed more vivid than usual. Only the girl wasn’t there. Instead it was the girl ghost from his apartment, the one who liked to talk in two word sentences. She floated right through me, which ripped me out of the graveyard and slammed me into a bedroom in a daylight suburban home. The wispy curtains rustled in the breeze, and the bed was a giant four-poster with dark wood and thick beams.

  Though the place was picture-perfect enough to be in some design magazine, something about it felt wrong. The silence, maybe, or the eerie glow of the room. I didn’t know. I could see a framed picture beside the bed. When I reached out to turn it my way, I was suddenly beside the nightstand staring down at it.

  A wedding picture.

  The man was tall, handsome, in a black tux, standing beside a beautiful woman in a white gown, both leaning in to each other for a kiss. This was the sort of thing for cake toppers and magazine photos. They could have been models, but I recognized the man in the picture.

  Kerstrande. He didn’t look any older t
han he did right now. I wondered how long he’d been a vampire. How many other lives had he survived to make it to this one? Or was he still struggling through his first? He seemed so young, so sure of himself, but something inside him connected with me.

  A female hand reached around me to pick up the photo. Her long fingers and perfectly polished nails traced the image. I glanced back, and it was the girl ghost.

  “He was happy once.”

  “You loved him.”

  She smiled sweetly. “Still do. Though I can’t have him now. He wasn’t meant to be mine anyway.” Her eyes flicked in my direction, then darted away as though she were ashamed. “I lied to him. Told him I was pregnant. He turned his whole life around to be there for me. Had himself declared legally independent, though he wasn’t yet eighteen. He wasn’t ready to be a dad, but he was willing to try. It was the lie that Hane used to push him over the edge.”

  “Why did Hane change him?”

  “The same reason Hane ordered Sarah to change Joel. To make you, as a band, truly immortal, legendary. He was going to do to you what he’d already done to Triple Flight. Hane is more in control of REA than he lets on.”

  “But KC didn’t want to kill anyone, so the point was moot. He never wanted to be a vampire.”

  “That’s where my betrayal came in handy for Hane.” The room faded, and suddenly we stood in some darkened hallway of a concert venue. I didn’t recognize it, which meant I probably hadn’t played there yet. The girl ghost was very much alive and dressed in a short, black dress, tight and formfitting, brown hair styled up, makeup heavy, beautiful.

  KC was his old rock-star self, with tight jeans and a snug T-shirt. He looked so young, and the pain in his eyes was so fresh. “This wasn’t necessary,” he was telling her.

  “You wouldn’t have married me. I was just another groupie to you.”