The Black Diamond Trilogy

by Brittani Williams

  “Yeah, I got it. I told you not to do that. You are supposed to be saving that money for school,” he replied, sitting down on the opposite side of the table.

  “Johnny, when are you going to give up? I’m not going to school. I told you that I’m going to be all right without that. Shit, Mom can barely make ends meet so the little bit of money I make working at the mall I give to her. I can’t see you in here without, so I do what I have to do. You know me, always looking out for the family.”

  “Yeah, I know, but sometimes you got to look out for yourself.”

  “I will soon, trust me; I have something in the works.”

  “Like what? I hope it’s not illegal. I don’t want to see you behind bars too. One of us is enough.”

  “No, it’s not illegal. You know I’m not into shit like that,” I responded, twisting my lip because I wasn’t hardly trying to do anything that would land me in jail. I wasn’t that damn crazy.

  “Just checking but hey, have you seen or heard from Diamond yet? Or checked on her old address? I still haven’t gotten a response from her. I must have sent her hundreds of letters since I been here.”

  “Hell no, I haven’t seen her and that’s the way I want to keep it. You know how I feel about her,” I replied, annoyed that he would even say her name to me. Just the mention of her made my skin crawl.

  “I wish you would stop blaming her for what I did. I made my own decision, Mica; she didn’t have anything to do with what I did. I don’t have any family that keeps in contact with me but you. I asked you to find out where she was so that I can have some contact with the outside world. That’s all I’ve ever asked you to do for me.”

  “You can say what you want, but the bottom line is that you wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for her and you know that I’m telling the truth.”

  “Neither of us knows if that’s true. Who knows what I would have done if I was pushed hard enough?”

  “Look, Johnny, I came a long way and I damn sure don’t want to waste our visiting time talking about her.”

  “Well, I’ll drop it for now but you’re still going to have to find a way to let the past go and move on. You can’t be bitter all your life. Shit, I’m the one in jail.”

  I wasn’t bitter but I didn’t want to keep the debate going. I could care less about Diamond and if I saw her on the street it would probably be as if I never knew her. I know you are supposed to forgive, but I couldn’t find it in me. How could I forgive the person that ruined my family? It was definitely easier said than done and yes, he was the one in jail but for years I felt like I was there with him. Things weren’t all peachy on the outside either. My mother struggled with depression and had been on medication for it since my father died. Some people thought that Johnny did all of us a favor, but neither she nor I saw it that way. Yes, he was abusive and yes he was an undercover drug addict, but he kept us afloat. Now, if it weren’t for my little part-time job we probably wouldn’t even have food to eat. I hated that he was gone. I didn’t miss getting my ass whooped but I missed being a kid. I had to grow up quickly in order to make it. I had to learn how to take care of myself when my mother was too depressed to get out of bed. She hadn’t been there to talk about sex or anything for that matter. She was like a shell with no life, and nothing I did was bringing her back.

  I finished chatting with my brother for the remainder of his visiting time and headed back out to the bus that drove back to Philly. Since moving from North Philly we lived in a two-bedroom apartment in Germantown. I mean, if there was a hood in Philly worse than North Philly it was Germantown. The craziest part about the chicks up there was that you couldn’t tell them they weren’t hot shit even when their doors on their houses were practically hanging off the hinge. I got into more fights the two years I went to Germantown High than I had in my whole life. I had never been afraid to speak my mind so whenever they had something to say I came back with the truth. Obviously, the truth hurt and they would wait for me after school each time. I always came out prepared for a fight since most days I got into some sort of altercation during school hours.

  I hated the school just as much as I hated my life, and there had been plenty of times when I thought about swallowing a bottle of pills to end it all. But then I thought about my mother and how devastating that would have been to her, especially since my brother was locked up. I realized that keeping her as sane as I could was more important and that thinking of taking my own life was just me being selfish.

  On the ride home all I could think about was the date that I was about to go on. I felt that I was finally going to get a slice of the pie. Living the fabulous life was something that I dreamed of. The difference with me was that I wanted the man with money but the money wasn’t the most important. I wanted a man to be happy, which was something that I hadn’t had in a long time.

  Soon, we were pulling up in the bus station and I was smiling from ear to ear. I couldn’t wait to get home to get dressed and head out for my date. It took me another hour on buses to get home and once I made it I hurried to my room to rummage through my clothes. I hadn’t bought anything new in a while, so I had to mix and match to try and make the perfect outfit. Finally, I settled on a black pencil skirt that was fitted and reached my knee with a black-and-white shirt that showed just the right amount of cleavage. You know, enough to make his mouth water but not too much that he’d think I was a slut. My mother must have heard all of the commotion going on in my room. You would have thought I had company the way I was dancing around and giggling like a kid.

  “What the hell is all the noise in here about?” she asked, opening my door and looking in to see that I was alone.

  “I’m just happy, Mom. That’s all.”

  “Happy? What the hell are you so happy about?”

  “I have a date tonight and this guy might make a difference in both of our lives.”

  “Don’t you go letting some nigga sell you a dream. Most times they are lying anyway.”

  “Mom, stop being so negative all the time. Can’t you at least be happy for me?”

  Without saying a word she turned and walked away. I knew that she didn’t want me to get hurt. Hell, that definitely wasn’t my intention, but shit happens and if it wasn’t meant to be I’m sure that I would find out soon enough. Tonight, I wasn’t going to focus on her negative energy but on seeing the man that I knew in my heart was going to make all of my dreams come true. I know that sounds corny but it was true. Tyson was supposed to pick me up at nine and I made sure that I was ready. I had borrowed some of my mom’s Miracle perfume and put on just enough accessories to accentuate the outfit that I had put together. On my way out my mom told me to be careful, but she still didn’t crack a smile. Damn, I hated depression!

  Nine-oh-five, Tyson was beeping the horn and I couldn’t have gotten out to his car fast enough. I’d had so many disappointments so I prayed that today wouldn’t be one of those times. Tyson sat in the driver’s seat, speaking on the phone and unlocked the doors once I got close. I thought he could have at least opened the door for me, but maybe being a gentleman wasn’t in his character. That didn’t mean he was a bad guy, though, because all of the other nuts I dated opened the door but once they got some, all of that shit was gone. At least he wasn’t trying to impress me by being extra, and that was definitely a plus in my book. Who the hell opens the door for you nowadays anyway?

  He turned briefly and looked at my ass as I sat down—a typical guy, but I loved it. He continued his conversation as I buckled my seat belt and he drove off. I didn’t even know where the hell he was taking me, but at that point it didn’t even matter. I was just happy to be around him.

  “I don’t give a fuck what he said, I know he better have that man money right!” he yelled, frowning. “Well, where is he?” He continued his ranting as I sat quietly, trying not to look in his direction though I was trying to hear what the person was saying on the opposite end. “Well hit me up, I got some shit to take care of right now. M
ake sure you get all the money! One!” He hung up and immediately turned his attention to me. “What’s up, sexy? Sorry about that; niggas always call me at the worst time with dumb shit.”

  “I know the feeling,” I lied. I didn’t know anything about what he was talking about, but I thought it would sound cute if I said I did.

  “I see you got all dressed up, I’m feeling the outfit,” he said, smiling, showing his softer side. You wouldn’t have known he had one by the conversation he just had on the phone, but I guess business was business.

  “Yeah, I tried to look sexy for you tonight.”

  “Well, you did a damn good job, sweetie.”

  “So where are we going?”

  “Over to my spot. I had a caterer hook up a crazy spread. I got some Moët and all that shit over there too.”

  I smiled but inside I was a little uneasy. Over to his spot? I could see where this was going to lead. I wasn’t trying to have sex with him tonight; I wanted to get to know him. Most times when you have sex with someone so fast you never learn anything about them because the relationship stays sexual. Well, I guess I had to hope for the best because I wasn’t going to turn back now.

  “Cool,” I said, after a few seconds of thinking.

  He bobbed his head to the sounds of his Jay-Z CD. I loved his swagger. I felt like he could protect me, and that was also something that I yearned for. He had on a baseball cap tilted to the side with jeans and black button-up shirt. His diamond Cartier watch continued to sparkle even in the night. His chain had diamonds bigger that any I had ever seen and his earring was just as big as those in his chain. The jewelry that he donned probably cost more that my entire wardrobe. His mustache and beard were jet-black and shaped up perfectly, not a hair out of place. His skin was golden brown like a glazed doughnut and his cologne filled the air with an irresistible scent. He kept peeking over at me from time to time during the drive. He even reached over and grabbed my hand when he wasn’t on the phone cussing someone out about money. Witnessing that showed me that money didn’t erase all of your problems. It only brought new ones.

  Tyson was a drug dealer who did pretty well. I didn’t know who he worked for, but whoever he was Tyson made sure he stayed loyal and everyone that worked under him did as well. I didn’t know firsthand how hard that must be, feeling the weight of all of your men. Since, if one of them messed up Tyson would be the one to pay for their mistakes.

  I met Tyson while hanging out in the area where he did most of his business. One of his workers was actually going to rob me, but Tyson stopped them and told me how dangerous it was to hang in that part of town. I didn’t really take heed to that. Shit, I figured that since Tyson stopped them once they wouldn’t try me again. I was wrong, and it took me almost getting raped before I did. Tyson stepped in again and drove me home. We talked that night and he took my number before I got out of the car. It took him a few days to call but once he did we set up the date that we were on now. I guess I was in the right place at the right time because I probably would have never met him otherwise.

  Once we pulled up in front of his house my stomach started doing flips. I was nervous about going in because I wanted to keep him around. I didn’t want to go in and have sex with him and he’d forget me by tomorrow. I mean, I had been told I was good in bed, but a man like him probably had women coming from left and right. There were probably some much more experienced than me who could get his attention at any given moment.

  We got out and entered his house, which was so clean it looked like no one even lived there. I knew he must have had a maid or never stayed there because it was too perfect. Out of nowhere a huge black pit bull ran into the living room and jumped into his arms. I stood still, stiff as a board. I was so afraid of dogs, especially pit bulls, and it didn’t matter how many times someone told me their dog didn’t bite. Hell, they had teeth, which to me meant that they could bite whenever they wanted to.

  “What, you scared? He ain’t gonna hurt you,” he laughed, noticing how petrified I was of the huge dog that weighed probably just as much as me.

  “Yes, I’m afraid of dogs.”

  “Cool, I’ll put him out back.”

  “Thanks,” I said, still not budging and watching his every move.

  I relaxed once I heard the back door open and close. He reappeared, still laughing. He walked into the dining room and gestured for me to follow behind him. I took a seat at the table that had plates laid out as if it were a restaurant. There was a bucket for champagne sitting in the center. He grabbed it off the table and returned it with ice and a bottle of Moët inside. He took the plates off of the table and brought them back a few minutes later filled with soul food—chicken, macaroni and cheese, and collard greens. I laughed at how I thought it would be something different. He had everything set up so classy I would have thought he would have a spread of food that I didn’t even eat. I was cool with the food, though, and his money wouldn’t go to waste.

  We ate the food and drank so much Moët that I could barely stand. I was laughing at everything he said even when it wasn’t funny. I was so relaxed. I had kicked off my shoes and got comfortable on the sofa as he put in a movie, South Central, a classic hood movie that I hadn’t seen in a while. We sat and watched the movie as he massaged my feet. Soon, we were both asleep on the sofa. It was about one-thirty AM when he woke me up to take me up to the bedroom. I stumbled most of the way but made it and plopped down on his bed like a load of bricks. He helped me get undressed and put one of his T-shirts on me. I thought for sure he would make a move. Surprisingly, he didn’t; he crawled into bed with me and fell asleep.

  Chapter Three

  Diamond: King of the World

  As women, why do we settle for less? I had asked myself this question a million times and could never seem to come up with an acceptable answer. I had been through a lot in the five years after losing Johnny, my first love. After the day he went to jail I had never been able to find a man to treat me the way that he did. I know that we were just teenagers at the time, but shit, love is love no matter how you slice it.

  Now, there I was, twenty-one, drop-dead gorgeous with a college degree but still I settled for a man who didn’t even care enough about me to protect himself when he went out and cheated. As I sat in the waiting area of CVS Pharmacy, waiting on my prescription, I was about to explode. I was so angry that I could barely contain myself. I had just left my GYN for my recent test results and found out that I had chlamydia. I knew that I was faithful to Davey, my boyfriend of four years, so there was no other way that I could have contracted the disease. I had never been so embarrassed and once I left I planned on going straight to his house to give him a piece of my mind.

  After I left the pharmacy I was on my way to his apartment. I called his cell phone a few times and when I didn’t get an answer my instincts told me that he was up to no good. I couldn’t hear anything else but the words that the doctor spoke before I left the office. It was like a broken record playing over and over again. Once I got to the door of Davey’s apartment I began knocking. I waited a few minutes before knocking again. I knew he was home because his car was parked outside. I continued to knock and yell his name.

  “I know you’re in there. Open this fucking door!” I continued to scream, waiting for him to acknowledge the fact that I was standing outside acting like a damn fool. Soon I heard him unlocking the door and I already had my fists balled up, ready to swing.

  “What the hell is wrong with you, Diamond?” he asked, still trying to fix his clothing.

  I pushed him out of the way and entered the apartment. I didn’t make it very far before he grabbed ahold of me. “Get the fuck off of me, you dirty bastard!” I screamed, trying to get my arm free from his grip.

  “What is going on?” he asked, still holding on tightly.

  “I have chlamydia, you dirty motherfucker! That’s what’s going on!” I continued to yell. He still wouldn’t let me go. I was sure that he had someone in there, and I w
as trying to get back to the bedroom to see exactly who it was.

  “What? How did you get that?” he asked with a dumb expression on his face. He knew damn well how I had gotten it. I had never cheated on him and he knew that.

  “Don’t play dumb, Davey. You know damn well how I got it. I haven’t fucked anyone else but you. I’m positive that you can’t say the same!” He finally let go of my arm but blocked the hall that led to his bedroom. “Move out of the way. I want to see what nasty ho you have back there. I know you were in here fucking around!” I screamed, trying to push him out of the way. He was much stronger than me, so I knew that he would never let me get past. I wasn’t about to give up trying, though.

  “It ain’t nobody back there, Diamond. Stop tripping. What did the doctor say?”

  “Oh, now you’re concerned? Fuck you! You don’t give a damn about me, you can’t even wrap your dick up when you go screw around.” I began to break down. My anger was now tuning into pain. As many times as I had caught him cheating on me I still hung around. If someone were to ask me why I loved him, I wouldn’t be able to answer them. Honestly, I wasn’t even sure if I really loved him; it could be that I was just used to the things he provided. I didn’t know of any other way to live but broke in a brokedown neighborhood, and I wasn’t ready to go back there. I wanted the old Davey back. The Davey I met four years ago. I could remember that day as if it had just happened, and just the thought of it warmed my heart.

  * * *

  I had just left school and was headed to the bus stop with a group of friends. I wasn’t feeling too good and was anxious to get home and lay down. I stood there on the corner not really paying attention to my surroundings but more so to the pain in my stomach. A black BMW pulled up on the side where I was standing and parked. The windows had full tint so I couldn’t see who was inside. Soon the windows began to reveal the driver behind the wheel of the luxury car. His eyes were pointed in my direction, but I tried to act as if I didn’t notice him. I didn’t want him to think I was money hungry, though I was always down to be treated to something nice. He motioned with his fingers, telling me to come over. I pointed at myself just to make certain that he really wanted me. I mean, I was pretty and had a nice figure, but I wasn’t dressed all that spectacular and my hair was plainly pulled back in a ponytail. I would have never expected a man of his stature to want me.