That night I had the hardest time sleeping. I tossed and turned so much Tyson woke up and asked what was wrong. I broke down and told him about Deidra.
“When I left earlier I went to see my cousin Deidra, who I haven’t seen in a while. I wasn’t prepared for what I saw and it’s eating me up inside.”
“What do you mean, what you saw? What’s wrong with her?”
“She’s strung out—I mean she’s so thin. This is a person I used to look up to. Back in the day she was the shit, she had the looks, the money, and the man. I was so jealous of her. She needs help and I feel like an asshole for walking out of there.”
“Babe, you can’t blame yourself for what’s happening to her.”
“I don’t, but I shouldn’t have left, I should have stayed. I’m all that she has.” I began to cry. I honestly believed that I should have stayed even though she turned me down.
“Come here babe, you can’t save everybody. I know that’s your family and you love her, but if she’s not ready to be helped nothing you say will change that. Hopefully she’ll come around before it’s too late.” He wrapped his arms around me and wiped the tears from my face. I knew that what he said was true even though I didn’t want to believe it. I wanted to believe that I could just walk in there and drag her to a rehab to get help. Unfortunately, that wasn’t a reality. When she was ready I was sure she’d let me know. The best thing I could do now was let her know I was there for her and I loved her. At least if she had that to fall back on she would fight to get herself on track. I soon fell to sleep in Tyson’s arms, forgetting about the brief argument we’d had earlier in the day. He’d always been good at consoling me, and right then I needed him more than ever.
Chapter Nine
Diamond: Running His Game
“If it isn’t little Miss Diamond Diva. What the hell brings you to this part of town? I thought you were allergic to North Philly,” Cicely said, standing back, looking me up and down. “Mom, you’ll never believe what the wind blew in.”
“Hey, Aunt Cicely, it’s nice to see you too,” I replied sarcastically. I wasn’t really happy to see her. On the real, I never really liked her ass anyway. I only dealt with her because she was my mom’s sister. I didn’t know what made me stop by there, but once I saw her face I wanted to turn back around and leave. I made sure to press the alarm pad on my key ring again to make sure my car was locked before going inside. You could never be too careful in that neighborhood. I’d be pissed if I came out and my car was missing.
“Where’s my mom at?” I asked, trying to get straight to the point. I didn’t want to stay there longer than I had to.
“Your mom? Who the hell knows where she is? Maybe you should try the local crack houses or speakeasies,” Cicely replied, being the bitch that she normally was.
My grandmom stepped in. “Cut it out, Cicely. All of that isn’t necessary.”
I was about two seconds away from punching Cicely in the face, and my grandmom could probably sense that. There had been many times that she and I had come close to blows. I never knew if her anger came from jealousy or if she just hated me so much that she had to continuously push my buttons. I remember the day we moved in, she had to rub it in my mother’s face how she knew she’d be back. My mother had been the only one of my grandmother’s children who was successful, and Cicely, being the oldest, hated it.
“Why? It’s the truth. She needs to know that her perfect mother ain’t so perfect after all,” she said, before leaving the room and heading toward the kitchen.
My grandmom came over to try and calm me down. “Don’t let her rile you up, you know how she gets.”
I was still pissed and it would take a lot more than a few words to put out the steam. “I don’t know why she always has to be so negative. She acts like I did something to her.”
“That’s just her attitude. She’s always mad at the world, but you can’t let that stop you from doing what you came here to do.”
“What’s that?” I asked, confused. I only stopped by to see my mother, and since she wasn’t there I was planning to be on my way. I didn’t have anything else on the agenda but maybe she knew something that I didn’t know.
“To save your mom. She really needs you. She’s been so depressed and she uses those drugs to break away from reality. I tried everything that I could think of, but God has a strange way of working sometimes. Everything happens for a reason and it was meant for you to come here today whether you believe it or not.”
I sat there listening to all she said and I was definitely a firm believer of things happening for a reason. Some things I just didn’t know the answer to, and I guessed I would know when I was supposed to.
Just as Grandmom was wrapping up all that she had to say, the front door opened and my mother walked in. I hadn’t seen her in months, and I almost didn’t recognize her. Her hair was all over the place and her clothes were so big they were barely staying up on her small frame. She had lost so much weight and looked far different from the woman who raised me. What the hell happened? I mean, when I left her the last time she was doing well with a new job. She was excited that she was going to finally be able to make it on her own. I could barely stand to look at her. She glanced over at me but appeared to be so high that she didn’t even know who I was.
“Mom, it’s me, Diamond,” I said, standing up from the chair that I had been sitting in and heading in her direction.
“Diamond? Girl, what brings you around here?” she asked before sitting down on the sofa on the opposite side of the large living room.
“I came to see you, to find out how you were doing. I wanted to see if you needed anything.”
Her eyes lit up like the sun when I said that. I didn’t know if that was good or bad. “Actually baby, if you could help me out with a few dollars, I can go out and look for a job.”
“What happened to the job you had?”
“I got fired, baby. I couldn’t make it to work on time. It was so far away.”
I knew she was lying, but I couldn’t prove it so there wasn’t any sense in arguing about it. “How much money do you need?” I asked, reaching into my bag to get my wallet.
“Just about fifty dollars. I can get me a TransPass and get my hair done up nice.”
I knew she was lying but I wasn’t going to tell her no. She had done far too much for me, and I couldn’t stand to see her the way she was. My grandmom saw that I was about to give her money and looked at her with disgust as she headed out of the room. I pulled out one hundred dollars and gave it to her. She smiled and gave me a hug.
“Are you really going to look for a job, Mom?”
“I am, baby. I promise.”
“I’m going to come back and check on you. I want you to get better, Mom, so things can be like they used to be.”
“I know you do, and things will get better.”
I took her word since I hoped that she would get better. I didn’t know what else to do. I thought about moving her out of the neighborhood, but that wouldn’t stop her from coming back if she wanted to. I even thought about offering to put her in a rehab, but one thing about a drug addict was that they wouldn’t take the help if they weren’t ready for it. I prayed that she would get better before if was too late.
After saying my good-byes I left feeling a little better that I had gotten to see my mom. There was nothing worse than hearing through the grapevine that your mother was on drugs, especially when you bailed out on her. I did believe that if I’d stayed around she may have never been steered the wrong way. Once I left I figured that she felt like she had no one to live for. Somehow I had to make her believe again, since I knew that I was the key to her getting better and I understood what my grandmom meant. I had to meet Davey at five and I was running late. I hated being late because when I was in a rush everyone in the city was driving Miss Daisy. Davey claimed that there was something important I had to do for him. I didn’t have a clue what it was, but I damn sure hoped that it wasn’t
another threesome. After the sex-tape incident I knew that I should have just up and left, but it was something about him that made me stay. It took the last four months to shake the visions of that night. I definitely wasn’t trying to go there again.
So what made me love him? I couldn’t pinpoint it, and even if I could no one would understand it anyway. There are a lot of relationships that don’t make sense to us from the outside looking in. I was on the inside and I couldn’t see my life any other way. So again I ask, was I a fool? Probably so, but I was happy that I had someone to love me. Yes, I believed that he loved me. Even though he’d done a lot of things to almost break my heart into a million pieces he was damn good at patching things up. He bought me everything I could think of following that night. He’d even come home before the sun came up. Getting him in before four AM was definitely unusual but I was getting used to it. He’d also managed to keep Ms. Nyssa out of our lives. He brought his son around and I began to enjoy playing the stepmom role. We were becoming a family made for TV and I felt that things could only go up from that point.
I didn’t want to upset him so I quickly maneuvered through traffic. The last thing I needed was an argument.. As hard as I tried I still made it home about fifteen minutes late. I knew that he’d be pissed but hell, I had to fight through traffic to get there.
“Damn Diamond, what took you so long? I said five o’clock,” he yelled, as he walked toward me.
“I tried, traffic was crazy.”
“Where were you at anyway?”
“I stopped by to see my mom.”
“Your mom? How the hell did you find her?”
“She was at my grandmom’s.”
“I’m surprised she wasn’t at a crack house!” he laughed.
I really didn’t find anything funny.
“What is it that you need me to do?” I asked, changing the subject.
“I have this car I need you to drive to south Jersey for me.”
“What?”
“Yeah, I need you to take this car over to Jersey. I’m going to give you the directions. Someone is going to take the car, give you another car and you drive it back home.”
“That doesn’t make any sense, Davey. What the hell is in the car?”
“Nothing, I just need you to drop off the car. Simple as that.”
“How come you can’t do it?”
“Because I’m on probation. You know I can’t drive out of state!”
“So there isn’t anyone else that can do it for you?”
“What’s the problem, Diamond? It’s not rocket science. As much shit as I do for you, I just need you to do this one favor. Besides, everyone else is working, that’s why I asked you.”
“I hope this shit isn’t illegal, Davey, you promised that I wouldn’t have to be involved in any bullshit.”
“Look, are you going to do it or not? I can find another bitch to take your place if you want!”
“Why do you always have to say that, Davey? I know you can find somebody else; I don’t need you to keep threatening me with that shit. Just give me the damn directions and the car keys so I can go.” I turned so that I wouldn’t have to see his face. I hated when he did that and he knew that I would do anything to keep him around. He came up behind me to give me a hug. I still stood there, annoyed by his last comment. He put the keys in my hand as I loosened up a little bit. I didn’t want to go but I felt like I had to. He gave me the directions before I headed out to the car, a black Toyota Camry. I still didn’t know all of the details of this transaction, but deep down I knew that it was better that way.
I got in and began my drive to south Jersey. There wasn’t much traffic as I took the Benjamin Franklin Bridge. I was pretty happy about it because I knew that I would get back pretty fast. I had Lloyd playing on the radio and I bobbed my head and sang along like it was karaoke. It had to be a funny sight seeing me act as if I had a microphone and everything. I was feeling the music but at the same time trying to block out the fact that I was being a mule for Davey. I was so into the music that time went by extremely fast. I was almost to the exit before I knew it and glad that I was almost done and on my way home.
After getting off the exit and taking the small streets to the address that he provided, I parked and hurried out of the car. The neighborhood was pretty quiet. There weren’t many people outside except what looked like a few hustlers and some children running around in the street. I knocked on the door and waited for someone to open it. I had to knock a few more times before anyone came.
“Can I help you?” a tall, thin-framed woman asked as she opened the door and looked me up and down.
“Is Benny here?”
“Who the hell are you?” she responded. I figured that this was his woman by the attitude she gave when I asked about him.
“I’m here to drop off a car. Tell him Davey sent me.”
“He don’t know nobody named Davey.”
“What do you mean? Davey sent me here from Philly to drop off a car.” I was getting annoyed. I didn’t know what the hell type of game they were playing, but I wanted to get this over with so I could leave.
“I just said he don’t know nobody named Davey.”
“Look, here is the note he gave me with the directions and this address. I’m pretty sure that I came to the right place.”
“I don’t give a fuck about what you have on that paper. You might as well turn back around and head home ’cause Benny don’t know him,” she yelled, as she began to close the door shut.
I put my hand on the door to stop her from closing it in my face. “Excuse me, don’t shut the door in my face. All you have to do is tell Benny I’m here.”
“Unless you want to end up a chalk outline on the ground you better back the fuck up off of my door and take your little prissy ass home!”
I could feel the heat rising in my body. I wanted to push the door open and slap her. I decided against it and turned around to walk back to the car and call Davey. He had a lot of explaining to do. I wasted a big part of my day driving here and to be talked to the way I just had been was definitely not in the plans.
I followed the path back to the car. As I was walking, I noticed how the neighborhood was even quieter than it was when I came. I had a strange feeling but I couldn’t put my hands on it. I used the keypad to open the car doors and as soon I attempted to open the door cops swarmed around me. I didn’t know what the hell was going on.
“Put your hands on the hood of the car,” one officer yelled.
“What did I do?” I asked, as I began to cry. I knew I should have listened to my heart and stayed home.
“You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law. . . .”
I couldn’t even hear him anymore. I was so detached from the situation you could have pinched me and I wouldn’t have budged. Is he reading me my rights? Am I going to jail? I didn’t understand what happened. After I was frisked they put me in handcuffs and put me in the back of a police car. They proceeded to search the car; I noticed them pointing to something in the trunk. What the hell was it? I thought.
I didn’t find out what it was until I was being questioned in an interrogation room. There was a small amount of cocaine in the trunk. I went numb. Now I realized why the female was acting like she didn’t know what I was talking about. It was a setup, and I couldn’t believe Davey put me in the middle of it.
Worst of all, it didn’t matter how many times I told them the drugs didn’t belong to me, they still treated me like a criminal. I told them over and over again that I didn’t know who the drugs belonged to. I was simply supposed to drop off a car. The cops didn’t believe me. They had even gone so far as laughing as if I told a joke. I knew there wasn’t anything I could say to get me out it so I decided to keep quiet and pray for a miracle.
I was placed in a holding cell and after being arraigned the following day I was carted off to a detention center in Philadelphia. I knew at tha
t point it was the end of me and Davey. There was no way I could go back to him after this. He promised that I would never be in the line of fire and that’s exactly where I ended up. This was definitely going to ruin my life. It was now that I realized this life isn’t so glamorous after all. I couldn’t be with a man that didn’t care about me the way I cared about him. Davey didn’t care and I should have realized that after the cheating and the STD. Me, being a fool in love, I couldn’t stop going back. At one point I felt like I needed him. I didn’t know any other way to have the best of things without being with him. After this, I would have plenty of time to get my mind right and figure out what I would do once I got out of there. Whatever I decided, running his game was out of the question.
Chapter Ten
Mica: The Glamorous Life
Things with Tyson couldn’t have been better. I was enjoying the life that he had blessed me with and I surely wasn’t trying to give it up anytime soon. For the most part, we hadn’t had many arguments lately. Hell, even his crazy-ass ex Deanna hadn’t been calling. I could admit that even though things were rocky between us at times we always managed to put the bad times behind us and move on. I hated arguing. Growing up, yelling was all I heard at home, so I wasn’t trying to subject myself to anything that even closely resembled what I grew up around. With all that had been going on, I still hadn’t been able to visit my brother, which bothered me more and more each day. I’d sent letters and made numerous attempts to visit and had still been turned away. What the hell had I done that was so bad? My mom tried to get him to talk to me but I assumed he wasn’t too interested since he had yet to reach out to me. I believed that he might have been a little jealous of Tyson. I hadn’t been one that the men would fight over growing up, so maybe it was just the fact that he was always used to getting all of my attention. Unfortunately, I was a woman now and he would just have to get over it. I just hoped that he would see that no one could replace him in my life and regardless of any relationship that I pursued he’d always be my big brother and I’d always love him the same. The sad part about it all was that I wasn’t able to tell him about it since I was getting the silent treatment.
The Black Diamond Trilogy Page 7
