The Black Diamond Trilogy

by Brittani Williams

  Tyson had set up a special date for us and I was excited because we didn’t usually get to go out much. He was always so busy so I appreciated all of the time that he gave me. I had taken all day to make sure that I had the right outfit, hairstyle, and perfume. I hoped that I wasn’t overdressed. He said that our destination was a surprise so I didn’t have a clue where we were going. I enjoyed surprises, so honestly it didn’t even matter. What mattered was that I was going to be able to spend some much needed alone time with him. I was dressed and ready at nine PM like he wanted me to be. I wished that his ass knew the meaning of punctual because I sat there for another hour and I still hadn’t heard from him.

  I dialed his cell phone so many times that I lost count. He probably hadn’t answered it because he knew that I was going to flip out. I was sure going to have an earful for him. If there was one thing that I hated it was wasting time. I always felt like I could be doing something else and sitting in the house in a little black dress and four-inch stilettos was definitely a great example of that. I mean, unless it was a costume for a sexual fantasy there wasn’t any reason to be shitty sharp with nowhere to go.

  I was getting sleepy the longer I sat there and angrier by the second. Around 10:45 he came strolling in, drunk as hell. I could smell the liquor from the door. My face was twisted in a knot. I couldn’t even stand to look at him I was so furious and to make matters even worse he was carrying an opened Heineken beer in his hand. His clothes were even falling off of him. I stood up from the sofa and gave him an evil stare. If this were TV this would be the part where the steam would begin to shoot from my ears.

  “What the hell you all dressed up for?” he asked, still unsteady on his feet.

  “What the fuck do you mean, what am I dressed up for? We were supposed to have a special date tonight,” I yelled, walking closer to him with my finger pointed. I couldn’t believe that he’d forgotten and then had the audacity to come in here pissy drunk.

  “What date? Who said we were going on a date?”

  “So now you don’t remember? I can’t believe you, Tyson, every time I think that things are going good for us you go and fuck it up!”

  “Fuck it up? You want to talk about who’s fucking up, huh? Maybe if you’d stop fussing all the time and fuck me like you’re supposed to things would be better.”

  “Are you kidding me, Tyson? Where the hell did that come from? You weren’t saying that shit last night when you were fucking me and sucking me!”

  “Of course not, what nigga is going to say something to fuck up some pussy!”

  “Pussy? So is that what I am?”

  “That’s not what I said. Look, I’ve been drinking and this shit is blowing my high!”

  “Fuck you, Tyson. When your ass is sober remember the shit you just said to me because I sure as hell will,” I yelled before grabbing my bag and going to the door. I couldn’t believe the shit that just happened. Earlier in the day he called and told me he had something special planned and now he was drunk and had forgotten all about it and me for that matter. To make matters even worse he belittled me. I couldn’t even wrap my mind around the things that he said to me. I was hurting and I didn’t even care about the fact that it was now pouring outside and I didn’t even have a damn umbrella over my head. I just wanted to get away from there, far enough away that he couldn’t see or hear me cry.

  The only place that I could think of going was my mom’s. I hated for her to see me upset since instead of being there to console me she’d probably try and figure out a way for me to get back in good with Tyson. I’m not saying that my mom was selfish or that she didn’t care about my being hurt or upset, but she did care about her bills being paid and since they wouldn’t be without him, I’m positive she wouldn’t be too happy about us fighting. I almost hated to tell her when we were at odds because her reaction was never one that you’d expect from a mother.

  I was soaking wet when I got in the car. I sat there for a few seconds to see if he’d come running out of the house after me. Instead, I was still sitting there for ten minutes looking like a fool. He still hadn’t come out and no matter how silly it may sound I was still hoping that he would. I was ready to go back in but that would have made me appear weak. I wasn’t weak, but I did love my man. I just hated when he got drunk and no matter how many times I’d been in this same situation I hadn’t learned that he wouldn’t change.

  I’d bet money that most women have been in my shoes rather a little bigger or a little smaller but we’ve all loved a man a little more than we should have. I had been a victim of love but I didn’t want to give it up. I wanted him to love me just as much as I loved him. Was it possible? I don’t know, but what I did know was that he cared about me even if it wasn’t as much as I cared for him.

  I slowly pulled out of the parking spot and began to drive to my mom’s house. I was about five minutes into the drive when my cell phone began to ring. I fumbled through my purse while trying to drive at the same time and managed to get it before it stopped.

  “Hello?” I said, without even looking at the caller ID. “Babe, where are you?”

  “Babe? So now I’m your babe again?”

  “Look, I said I was drunk. Now come back home. It’s late,” he slurred.

  “I’m not coming home to be talked to that way again.”

  “I apologize, okay, just come home so we can go to bed.”

  “I’ll see you tomorrow, Tyson. Go to bed and get sober.”

  Click.

  I hung up, which was one of the hardest things I’d done since I met him. I wanted to go home but I knew that it wouldn’t make me feel any better after the argument we’d had. I looked down at the phone and watched him call over and over again. I turned off the phone to avoid the temptation of answering it and being talked into coming home. I continued the drive over to my mom’s house and got soaked again trying to run down the block to her door. I used my key to open up the door. The lights were off and the house was quiet. Good, I thought, since I could sneak up to my old room and go to sleep without her even knowing that I was here. I knew that I couldn’t avoid talking to her about what happened but at least I could put it off until the morning.

  I walked up the steps and almost into the room when I heard her bedroom door opening. Damn, I thought I was going to make it in.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked, standing in her robe, wiping her eyes.

  “I need to stay here tonight, Mom. I’ll leave in the morning.”

  “Where’s Tyson?”

  “He’s home, Mom, I just need some rest. Can we talk about this in the morning?”

  “No, we can talk about it now. What the hell happened?”

  “He came in drunk and said some hurtful things, okay? Things that I don’t want to repeat.”

  “Why not?”

  “Why the third degree? All I want to do is lay down, rest my brain, and forget about it. Why do I have to go back and forth with you on this?”

  “Because it’s after eleven at night and you’re in here soaking wet in a little-ass dress like you just left the club. That’s why,” she yelled. She always made things harder than they actually had to be. I didn’t understand why I just couldn’t come in there and not be questioned. I mean, damn, can I want to visit? I guess not, since she was interrogating me right now.

  “I didn’t leave the club, I came from home. Can I at least take off these wet clothes first?”

  “Go ahead before your ass catch pneumonia. I don’t know why you young girls come out in the worst weather with those little-ass clothes on anyway!” she blurted, before turning around and going back into her room. She left the door open, which told me that she wasn’t planning on going to sleep without talking to me. I took my time taking off the dress and putting on a T-shirt. I went into her room, where she was sitting up on the bed waiting.

  “So, what happened?”

  “It was just an argument. We were supposed to go out but he forgot. I sat in the house dr
essed and waiting on him until he came in drunk with an attitude. It caused an argument and I decided to leave rather than stay there and keep arguing. He needs to get sober and then we can talk.”

  “If it’s one thing that I learned is that you don’t walk away for something so silly. If it was just an argument you could have worked it out. I don’t know why the first thing you think to do is run. You’re going to lose your man like that.”

  “No, he’s going to lose me like that.”

  “And then what? What are you going to do without him? You don’t have the money or the skills to keep up that lifestyle without him,” she yelled.

  She was only doing what I expected her to do. One thing about my mother was that she was always the same. You pretty much always knew what she was going to say before she said it. I wished that I had somewhere else to go but I didn’t. She was right, I didn’t have anything without him but shit, neither did she. I remembered the struggle and how I had to work to help her pay the damn bills in here. I didn’t want to admit it but I had to go home. I wasn’t trying to go back to where I’d been before him.

  This life was something that I had become accustomed to. I wasn’t going home tonight but tomorrow I would find him and try to get things back in place. I’d be damned if another woman was going to come and take my place. The glamorous life had its downside: you had to fight to keep your place. I had to stop sweating the small stuff and learn how to turn things back around.

  Chapter Eleven

  Diamond: A Place Called Home

  Prison, a place that I’d never thought I would be forced to live. How can a person get comfortable being here?

  From the moment I walked through the door and had to strip down ass naked to wash and be searched, I knew glamour was no longer a part of my vocabulary. The jumpsuits were huge and smelled like they’d been washed in the cheapest detergent you could use. I was itching from head to toe just thinking about the fact that someone else had worn it before me and I didn’t care how many times it had been washed, I still felt my skin crawl.

  The first week was the hardest for me. I cried silently every night, wondering how I could have been so foolish. It took everything in me not to tie knots in the sheets and hang myself. Here I was the pretty girl that once had it all donning an orange jumpsuit and sneakers without shoelaces.

  It was embarrassing and I could just see all the bitches in the hood laughing and chanting. Miss Diamond the diva had gotten what was coming to her after all. Was that really the case? Was this what I deserved? I couldn’t allow myself to believe that, since I’d probably be worse off if I did.

  My cell mate, a woman named Tiny, was eventually my savior. At one of my lowest points she was there to help me get the pep back in my step. I didn’t believe that I would ever meet a person who was as foolish as me when it came to men, but she was also locked away because she’d do anything for her man.

  It had been a long day and I was exhausted. You never really realize how stress can make you even more tired than you actually are. I lay in bed staring at the ceiling thinking about the time I had left there. Soon tears began to flow, and as quiet as I tried to be I guess that it wasn’t quite enough because Tiny heard me even in her sleep.

  “Crying isn’t going to make your time shorter in here,” she said as she sat on the side of her bed.

  “Excuse me?” I asked, offended by the comment. Of course I knew that crying wouldn’t make my time any shorter, but being there didn’t stop me from having feelings either. Shit, I still had feelings.

  “I said, crying won’t make your time shorter. Nobody cares about your pain in here. All they care about is making you suffer for the crime that you committed.”

  “Obviously, I realize that or I wouldn’t be here,” I snapped. I was annoyed. I never asked her for her damn advice.

  “Listen little mama, there’s no need to get all antsy with me. I’m trying to help you out. Sitting in here depressed is only going to make it worse. You gotta suck it up and deal with it. Shit, this is going to be your home for a while so you may as well make the best of it.”

  “Make the best of it?” Was she serious? I didn’t believe that it was even possible to make the best of a situation like this. I wanted to go home and I’d be damned if I’d get comfortable here.

  “Yes, make the best of it. I was just like you when I came in here. I thought that it was the end of the world. Then I realized that I was too young to just give up. Yeah, I made some foolish choices, but I’m smarter than that. I just got caught up with some nigga.”

  “A nigga, huh. Sounds a lot like me,” I replied, surprised that she was even being so honest. She didn’t know me from a can of paint. As much as I didn’t want to I was getting more relaxed talking to her.

  “Shit, that’s half of the women in this damn place. None of us saw it coming,” she said, lying back down in her bed. “So sleep on it and trust me, in the morning you’ll wake up with a new attitude. Do your time, get out, and don’t make the same mistake again.”

  I didn’t respond. Instead, I lay there quietly taking it all in. She was right, I couldn’t give up. That would prove that he’d won and gotten the best of me after all. There was a time when I would do anything that he wanted me to do. I knew now that I had to be all about me and as selfish as that may sound, there damn sure wasn’t anyone else that was going to do it for me.

  I woke up the next morning with a new confidence and not even the sloppy-ass food trays we were served could break me down. Before long Tiny and me were the best of friends and I learned a lot from her each day. I think that I clung to her because she’d been there. Though she voluntarily transported drugs for her man, she still could relate to what I’d been through. Her man of five years hadn’t stepped up when she got caught, and now she’d have to serve a one-year sentence, leaving her daughter with the man that snitched on her. When I thought that I had it bad, the fact that she had a child made my situation not look as grim. I always wondered how she could be as calm with a child out there to worry about but she was a firm believer in things happening for a reason, and if she wasn’t supposed to be here she wouldn’t be.

  I felt sorry for her and I knew that once I left I would miss our talks. I did promise that we’d keep in touch. I needed a friend like her, someone that would have my back. How did I know this? What’s prison without someone trying to test you? I found this out firsthand. After leaving the area where we’d sit and eat we were headed over to the library area. Tiny had been researching her case since the day that she’d been locked away and since I didn’t have anything else to do, I helped her out.

  Walking down the hall, I didn’t notice the stares, but Tiny must have. Soon, I felt something under my feet and I hit the floor. I didn’t get a chance to react because Tiny was already all over the girl that had tripped me. The guards came and separated them before hauling them both off to solitary confinement. I later found out that the girl who’d tripped me had been eyeing me since day one. I thought that it had to have been mistaken identity or something because I had never seen her prior to being locked up. Through the grapevine I heard that she and Tiny were once really close and she was pissed that I’d come and taken her place. It was never my intention. I never had any intentions coming in here, not even to survive it.

  Either way, this run-in would land Tiny in the hole for two weeks. When they let her out, she looked tired. Tiny was beautiful for a woman with so much fight in her. She stood about five feet eight and appeared to be about a size eight in clothing. She had long hair, which she kept pulled back in a ponytail, showing her round face. Even stripped of glamour you could tell that she was a looker. She hugged me when she entered the cell. I was glad to see her. It was a lonely two weeks.

  “Girl, I’m glad to see you. What the hell was that all about, anyway?”

  “Doesn’t matter, girl, it’s over now.”

  “Well, thanks for having my back.”

  “No problem, I know you’d do the same fo
r me.”

  Would I? I guess it was at that moment when I realized that I would. Anyone that would stick their neck out for me would definitely get the same from me. I realized that she would be here long after I’d left but she’d definitely be my friend either way. It took this situation to know where home really was and I was comfortable laying my head down each night knowing she was by my side.

  Chapter Twelve

  Mica: The Battle Within

  “Come on, Deidra, stay with me. I can’t lose you now.” Tears were pouring out of my eyes as the ambulance driver sped through traffic with his siren on. The paramedic continued to administer CPR but she still wasn’t responding. I couldn’t lose her. I didn’t have a lot of family and she and I had grown close in the past months.

  What the hell had happened? I didn’t understand how things had gone so wrong. We had planned to hit the town for the night to celebrate D’s birthday. She’d promised me that she wouldn’t get high that night and instead have a drug-free good time. All I remember is her opening the door and barely standing up straight. She walked away from the door after letting me in and soon fell to the floor. I ran over to her and once I noticed that she was foaming at the mouth I grabbed the phone and dialed 911.