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Persuasion

Page 16

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  “And what would you have me do? As close as we are, Devlin is hardly likely

  to travel down from the estate simply to buy me some jewelry if I were to

  write to him. And in any case, he would only do so, were his character to

  have changed overnight! Which I highly doubt! I had to buy it then and

  there, Janie. I would have cried for days if it had been sold from under my

  very nose!

  “And anyway, Devlin is far more interested in purchasing jewels for his

  mistresses than his sister, Janie!” At the explosion of censure that swiftly

  surrounded her, she merely cocked a brow and fought hard to still her lips

  from twitching. “I'm hardly an infant, Janie! Rodgers! I do know about these

  things! I also know that that is why Hemingtons is a renowned jeweler for

  gentleman.” She grinned wickedly. “Imagine a Cyprian wearing something

  from that jeweler! Why, how ridiculous! Where on earth would they wear

  those kinds of jewels?”

  “Ma'am!” Rodgers spluttered.

  “It isn't done to discuss these things, Miss Lily!” Janie retorted, her voice

  filled with shock and chastisement. “Y-You can't talk about Cyprians as

  though you were discussing the lending library! I raised you better than

  that!”

  Lily narrowed her eyes at that. Just because she knew about Cyprians did

  not make her a brat or a spoiled and rude miss!

  “Well, unfortunately, I do know about these things and I see no reason to

  hide the fact that I am well aware that this world isn't perfect.”

  “No, my lady, perhaps not, but it simply isn't done!” Rodgers concurred with

  Janie and this time, Lily noted with inward amusement, shot the maid a nod

  of approval. Amazing, she thought, how one slight sign of indiscretion and

  two people whose opinions differed greatly, could be joined so firmly in this

  matter.

  “You need not tell me that,” Lily said quietly. “I am no fool. I will not

  mention this to Aunt Millie or anyone of my acquaintance. But if I cannot

  speak to my lady's maid, whom I have known since birth, or my aunt's long-

  standing and highly respected butler, then with whom may I speak?

  “I am well aware that my brother has a mistress. Indeed, I believe that I

  met her last night at the Compton's musicale. The world of the ton is quite

  hypocritical, I find, and unbearably ridiculous. Debutantes are sent into this

  strange world with not an ounce of protection and people are shocked and

  dismayed, when the Misses fall foul of the evil in our society.” She shook her

  head and pursed her lips with distaste. The action physically dispelled her

  desire to talk of her brother's mistress for a moment longer and so, she

  returned to her maid's earlier comment with a faint shake of her head. "And

  we all know that my mama finds it difficult enough to break her fast, never

  mind travel to London simply to purchase a necklace and earring set for me.

  Even if it is a perfect display of pre-revolutionary France's opulence and

  drama,” she murmured gleefully.

  Janie, spying her mistress' desire to change the topic, dove into the

  conversation feet first. "Opulence is the right word, Miss Lily! Mr. Rodgers,

  I've never seen anything like it! And how you expect to wear it, Miss Lily, is

  beyond me!” she chided with a tut.

  “I shall cope with the weight,” Lily demurred with a grin.

  “You shall have too! I wouldn't be surprised it if weighed more than a caddy

  of tea! Sixty pounds! It's shameful. I don't even receive half that per

  annum!”

  Lily arched a brow. “Are you asking for a rise in salary, Janie?” Then burst

  out laughing as her maid turned the color of beetroot. “I am teasing, Janie.

  Fear not. You are correct . . . ,” she conceded wryly. “It was an obscene

  amount of money to spend on a set of jewelry and had there not been a

  history behind each piece and perfect providence, then I wouldn't have

  purchased them, would have simply worn my favorite diamond pendant.

  But, this is an investment, Janie. I do not doubt that in a few years’ time, it

  will have trebled in value!”

  Janie pursed her lips and shrugged her shoulders. “If you say so, Miss Lily.

  Although, I'm not altogether sure that it will even match the shot-silver

  dress. It is gold, after all! I wouldn't have thought you could have worn

  those two colors together!”

  Lily laughed. “Of course not. They don't match! But what a perfect blank

  canvas upon which to display the historical set. Magic. Indeed, I cannot wait

  until the jeweler sends it around this evening. As soon as it arrives, Rodgers,

  would you bring it to my room? If you're interested in our discussion, you

  would perhaps like to see what lies at the center of our argument?” she

  directed at the butler and watched as the tips of his ears turned pink. Poor

  Rodgers, she thought drily, any slight sign of the softening between ranks

  and he puffed up like a hedgehog.

  "Perhaps, my lady,” he uttered hoarsely, his voice rather choked.

  Lily simply smiled and knew that he would rather die than be seen to

  encourage any relationship of the sort between herself and him. Nodding,

  she half-turned and passed the white kid gloves to Janie before she stepped

  into the hall proper. As she did, her eyes centered on a missive that rested

  directly in the middle of a silver salver, which lay on the hall table.

  Instantly, she froze and felt Janie bump into her. Any thoughts of the set she

  had just purchased were immediately forgotten, any joy she had felt at

  finding such a perfect investment had disintegrated into dust. Rodgers

  swiftly reached for her arms to keep her from falling and when he was sure

  that Lily was settled on her feet, he released her from his hold with a formal

  bow. "You have a letter, my lady,” he murmured helpfully.

  He walked the few paces to the table and returned with the salver in his

  gloved hand. She stared at the missive as though it had fangs, which were

  bared and snapping at her. Indeed, Lily felt quite sure that she would have

  found it easier to lift the letter from the tray and open it, even though the

  fate of her hand would have been at stake! For she knew, instinctively and

  terrifyingly knew that it was from the blackmailer.

  Dread pierced her gut and nausea flooded her as she tried to assimilate that

  now, even though a week had passed, a blessedly silent week, he wanted

  her services again.

  Services! She felt almost like vomiting at the thought.

  In all her life, Lily had never believed that she would end up prostituting

  herself and all in the name of protecting her mother.

  Perhaps the fates were laughing at her situation. Perhaps her life was naught

  but a cosmic joke to amuse those no longer affected by the realities of life.

  Her eyes began to water and it was harder than she cared to admit to

  contain the tears that threatened at any moment to leak and course down

  the curves of her cheeks. She fought to still them and how she managed,

  she would never know. Instead of sobbing as her body craved, she cleared

  her throat and mentally girded herself to absorb and assimilate the letter's

  contents.


  It could not be any worse than what she had already had to do, could it?

  Nothing could be worse than having gifted her maidenhead to a man who

  had believed himself to be in a dream, aided by the addition of alcohol to his

  already grieving and confused system, which had his late lamented wife as

  his lover.

  Indeed, nothing could be worse than that!

  Nothing could be worse than hearing the man you were seducing call you by

  another name, especially when that man had incredibly come to mean so

  much more than he should have done.

  It seemed as though the fates were playing with her yet again, for Dorian

  was indeed coming to hold more importance to her than she had ever

  imagined possible. In the week since their last meeting, Lily had sought him

  out at every occasion and ton event she and her family had attended. He

  had not been at any one of them and upon realizing that, the level of

  distress and disappointment she had felt, was at a ridiculously high level.

  Indeed, she felt quite ashamed at her desire to see him again. To see the

  man, who for reasons yet unknown was at the very epicenter of a blackmail

  plot, which had touched her life and effectively ruined it in one fell swoop.

  She lifted a shaky hand and pressed it to her damp brow. It couldn't be love,

  could it? Lily asked herself with an inner cry of pain.

  Life, God, destiny . . . they couldn't be so unkind as to gift her the love of

  her life, when that man still grieved and adored his dead wife, could they?

  She gulped a little and felt a slight bubble of sick rise from her gullet. Her

  features twisted at the abhorrent and physical taste of her nausea and she

  had to suck in a swift breath to calm herself down. Her eyes were glued to

  the precisely and perfectly squared letter and while she knew that it was

  ridiculous to react to the missive as though it had indeed grown a pair of

  teeth, Lily couldn't help it. She could not help it at all.

  “Miss Lily? Whatever is the matter?”

  Janie's voice sounded as though it were traveling from a very large distance

  and only when her maid shook her by the elbow, did she even react.

  "Pardon?” she asked, her voice a hoarse whisper.

  “Are you ill, my lady?” Rodgers asked, concerned by the paleness of her

  usually vibrant and healthy hued skin.

  “I-I'm fine,” she returned quietly and continued to stare at the letter. It was

  only then, as she said the words, did she understand why she wasn't fine.

  For surrounding that simple piece of paper, which had been folded and

  sealed with wax to hide its contents, was a blacker than black evil and even

  though it could have come from any number of people, that aura alone

  informed her that it was from her blackmailer and that it held nothing but

  bad news.

  A part of her wanted to cry out and simply divulge all of the salacious details

  to her confidante and life-long companion, Janie. But how could she?

  Her maid had been horrified at Lily's disclosure at her knowledge of Devlin's

  love life, which in fairness she only knew as Sara Doverby, an old friend, had

  overheard a conversation between Devlin's chere-amie and that lady's

  friend. But regardless of how she had learned of that knowledge, her maid

  had been frankly disgusted at Lily's statement and so, what would she be

  were Lily to divulge the whole truth?

  Would she be looked upon with scorn and no pity?

  Would she be viewed as a harlot? Would Janie run to Lily's aunt with the

  information and would she find herself being returned home like an

  unwanted parcel?

  It seemed unpleasantly possible and so, she held out her hand and reached

  for the sharp and crisp letter. Her fingers ran along the corners of the

  missive and she stared down at it somberly. Only shrugging out of her

  stupor as Janie curled her fingers about Lily's shoulder and jerked her once,

  twice and then a final third time. “Miss Lily! What on earth is the matter?”

  she barked angrily.

  With dazed eyes, Lily turned to Janie and felt despair course though her.

  How she longed to speak of her torment, longed to release herself from this

  cage of silence. But how could she?

  “Nothing. I-I'll be away to my rooms, Janie. You can have the rest of the

  afternoon as your own,” she whispered instead, her tone somber.

  Janie blinked with surprise and frowned. “I thought we were going to select

  the outfits you wanted to wear for the next few days’ events?”

  “We were. But I just remembered that I have to write to my mama. Enjoy

  your free afternoon, Janie,” Lily quickly muttered and rushed away from the

  two perplexed servants and hurried over to the stairs. Every part of her

  wanted to climb two steps at a time, but she could not. For then, Janie

  would know that something was amiss and a curious and inquisitive Janie

  did not bode well for any secrets Lily had hidden.

  Memories flooded her mind of similar occasions. From a wild hare that she

  and Devlin had managed to trap without causing the small beast any injury

  and had intended to keep as a pet- Janie had soon found the petrified beast

  in a trove filled with toys and games. To a secreted diary that had found its

  way into her mother's possession, when there had been an entry describing

  a kiss with a friend's elder brother- her papa had threatened to have her

  whipped, were she to do anything of the like ever again.

  Laughing ghoulishly at the thought, for she had done much worse now than

  simply share a peck on the lips from an older man! Lily continued the slow

  pace until she reached the top step and could turn on to her corridor. From

  there, she began to run and hurried down the hallway to her room. Swiftly,

  she opened the door and slammed it, hurling herself against its broad

  surface as soon as it was closed. She stared down at her trembling hands,

  hands that contained the missive.

  As she continued to stare down at it, Lily began to slip down to the floor and

  as soon as her buttocks rested against the chilled surface of the wooden

  parquet, she flipped the letter over and fingered the hardened wax seal.

  Tracing the blank design of the seal, which gave not one hint of the writer's

  identity, she pulled the top flap away and watched as the wax pulled taut

  and then ripped. She sucked in a deep breath once the letter was opened

  and then blanched at the one sentence, which graced the blank sheet.

  Tonight. One o'clock. Be prepared.

  Her lips curled inwards as she attempted to stem the desolation that coursed

  through her and to no avail. Tears began to flood her eyes and with a fury

  that was born from impotence, she began to shred the paper into thousands

  of pieces. When not a segment remained whole, she gathered them in her

  palm and strode over to the blazing fire, before throwing each small section

  on to the flame.

  She watched with burning eyes as the flames ate at the paper until only

  ashes remained of the blackmailer's missive. With hatred coursing through

  her, she had to fight to stem the agony that rushed alongside it and the only

  relief came from the knowledge that tonight, she would be with a man who

  meant more
to her than he should. Who meant more to her than her heart

  could probably withstand.

  Shuddering slightly, she took a step away from the fireplace and brushed the

  tears from her cheeks. Stalking over towards the dressing-table which stood

  near the window and was laden with myriad ointments and pots of

  maquillage, she bent low and examined her features in the looking glass,

  seeking any implication of her misery and any trace of tears.

  When Lily noted that she looked relatively untouched, if a trifle pale, she

  dropped down on to the seat before her reflection and gathered some of

  Janie's beautifying tools. Smoothing some Pear's White Imperial Powder on

  to her cheeks, which was used to cover any blemishes upon her complexion,

  she dimmed the pinkened cheeks, which spoke of her rude health, and

  enhanced the pale hue of her skin. She then gathered some rouge on her

  index finger and blended the color under her eyes.

  Having used a light hand with both cosmetic aids, the look she had

  administered was entirely natural and she looked as though she had indeed

  come down with a nasty head cold.

  Pleased, she stood once more and stalked over towards the door. Tonight,

  her aunt and uncle had intended to accompany her to the theater once

  again. She would have to persuade them to go without her and leave her to

  rest in bed.

  She hoped the use of cosmetics would enhance the idea that she needed to

  rest, rather than prod her aunt into believing she required a physician! Being

  prodded at by a doctor was the last thing she needed!

  And so, Lily fled to her aunt's sitting room to plead her malady and within

  the hour, was helped up the stairs by a tutting Aunt Millie and thereafter

  tucked into bed with a slight scolding for overtiring herself.

  When Lily was once more alone, she forced herself to relax and to sleep. The

  rest of her day might be quiet, but the night was to be busy.

  Squeezing her eyes closed at the thought, Lily pressed her face into a pillow

  and blotted out the rest of the world, ultimately managing to sleep through

  the afternoon and the early parts of the evening, before secretly preparing

  herself for the task that lay ahead.

  ****

  With a ragged sigh, Dorian rested his elbows on his knees as he stared at

  the flickering flames of the roaring fire. Fatigue rushed through him and he

 

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