by Owner
that it would not be overly difficult to walk there and back before the end of
the day. She traversed the journey she believed to be correct and within fifty
minutes stood before a building she believed to be the Earl's.
It had been surprisingly easy to meander through the streets of the capital.
She'd received a few odd stares, partly because of her winter attire but
mostly because she was alone. But Lily was a lady born and bred. She had
frozen any looks sent her way with a chilling glance and had simply gone on
her way, unerringly focused on finding the Earl and speaking with him.
The house in the light was surprisingly pleasant. In the dark, it was
admittedly rather haunting, all large shadows and big, hulking annexes. But
with a pale sun shining upon it, she enjoyed its complex mixture of grandeur
and inelegance, grand because of its size and Georgian design, homeliness
from the hodgepodge extensions and the neat front gardens.
She walked through the gate and as soon as she stood on the front
pavement, knew that she had indeed selected the correct house.
Lily headed to the front door and hesitated for a moment, unsure of whether
or not she ought to use the key. Having made her decision to not use the
key, she quietly knocked upon the door and tucked herself beside one of the
columns under the portico to keep hidden from the bustling street.
The last thing she needed was to be recognized at eleven o'clock in the
morning outside a gentleman's house!
After a few minutes, the door opened and a man in livery stood there,
looking at her with a puzzled frown. There was something about him that
she recognized, and she could only assume that it was the footman from the
first night she had visited here.
“I wish to speak with the Earl,” she murmured quietly.
Lily knew before he even shook his head that this was most unorthodox and
that he was about to refuse. Men did not receive women callers at this time
of the day. It was the men who called and not the fairer sex. But she had no
choice in the matter! It was urgent, damn it!
She pursed her lips and ignored his.
“I'm afraid Earl fforbes-Hyde is not at home to callers, ma'am.”
Lily stalked forwards and brushed her way past the footman and into the
hallway.
His jaw opened and closed for a few seconds, as though he could not believe
that she had just charged into his employer's home. He said nothing, merely
allowed her to have her own way.
In truth, she pitied him. He was bound to be on the receiving end of a
wrathful set down from the butler for allowing a strange woman to enter the
Earl's home, but what else could he have done? Forcibly detained her?
Chuckling at the thought, Lily strode down the corridor and opened the door
to the study after a vacillating knock. Her eyes took in the room in the light
of day and, in truth, there was very little difference. The only real change
was that Dorian was seated at his desk and not in one of his armchairs.
His head had shot up at the opening of the door and while her heart sighed
with relief to see him and her eyes softened at his very masculine beauty, he
looked at her as though he were staring at the footman, coldly, detachedly,
and with decided disinterest.
Lily frowned and stepped into the study, closing the door behind her. She
walked over to his work area and smiled hesitantly at him as she did so.
His face seemed almost to be carved from stone and her chin wobbled at the
thought that either the blackmailer had indeed informed Dorian of their
bargain or that Dorian's words of love had been fabricated and merely a part
of a conversation that took place between lovers. Inexperienced as she was,
she did not know the rules of such a game and all she could think was that
in the cold light of the morning perhaps he did not love her.
Surprisingly, the thought that Dorian had merely acted out the part of her
loving lover hurt more than the possibility of the blackmailer having shared
the truth of her deceit. It was only then that she truly understood what this
man had come to mean to her. She had known that she loved him. In the
most secret part of herself, she had always known that, but only now did she
realize to what extent. It was almost frightening to consider that he felt
nothing for her.
Biting her lip, she came to a halt directly before his desk and clutched the
edges with trembling hands. “A-Are you surprised to see me?” she asked,
her voice as tremulous as her hands.
He was silent and a cold cast came over his features. “Yes. I am. What are
you doing here?”
His words were clouded with suspicion, and, despite herself, she felt hurt,
truly hurt. It was difficult to speak with her throat clogged with tears. She
did not understand why she felt so dejected by Dorian's attitude, but she
did. The idea of baring all to this cold man, to a man that was entirely unlike
the Dorian she had come to know, was quite insupportable, but do just that
she must.
“There is something I must tell you,” she began and winced at his look of
derision.
“Let me hazard a guess . . . you are pregnant?”
Her mouth popped open, and she frowned at him. “I do not know,” she
admitted hesitantly. “My maid says that I am displaying one of the
symptoms of such an affliction, but I am really rather untrained with what
the symptoms actually are. But that is not why I am here. Perhaps it has
brought urgency to the situation but not for that sole reason.”
At his snigger of derision, she glared at him. “What is the matter with you?”
Lily hissed.
“I should have realized that when something appears to be far too good to
be true, it is in fact just that!”
Lily pursed her lips and nodded. “Yes, indeed, you are correct. But, and I can
tell from your look, that your nasty devious mind has indeed crafted some
horrible explanation and I can guarantee that whatever you are thinking at
this moment in time, it is not the truth . . . .”
“I bet!” he interrupted sarcastically.
“Yes, indeed, but if you listen . . . ,” she retorted frostily, “you can know the
truth and I, for one, shall feel much better for sharing this with you.” She
held up a hand when he looked set to interrupt again. “You remember the
first time we met at the Greene's ball?” He nodded and she could see that
even that much of a response angered him. Wondering what on earth was
behind this change of mood, she continued. “A short time before we first
danced together, I was . . . I suppose the correct term is propositioned,
against my will.”
“Oh, indeed, that is quite easy to believe!”
“I beg your pardon?” she spat, immediately understanding and disliking his
train of thoughts. “I came to you a virgin if you remember, my lord! That is
hardly the behavior of a common doxy!”
“Perhaps not, although your behavior thereafter speaks of nothing but!”
Lily sucked in a harsh breath. “I am trying to tell you that . . . I . . . . One
evening at the theater, a man came to our box. My
aunt and uncle had just
gone to call on some acquaintances and I was left alone. H-He said that I
was to follow his orders or my mother would be injured.”
“Is this some kind of jest?”
“No! Of course, it isn't! I wish it were, damn it, especially now that I realize
what a beast you are and that the damned man was lying! But you have to
understand, Dorian, I was terrified. My mama has been hurt enough this
past year and the thought of her life being in danger . . . well, it was quite a
terrifying ordeal for me. Against my better judgment, I acquiesced and met
you at the ball.
“Last night, the blackmailer informed me that I was to never see you again.
That if I was to instigate any relationship with yourself then he would inform
you as to why we had met and to why I had given myself to you. And yes, I
shall freely admit that at first any interaction with you was under duress.
But,” she paused and sent him a sad smile, “my heart fell for yours. My love
for you is not fraudulent. It is true and deep."
“A very convenient tale, I'm sure!” he said derisively.
“Convenient?" she hissed. "You believe the destruction of my reputation and of my very sense of self to be convenient? Damn your hide!”
“No, I believe that that tale is convenient for it shields the truth of the state
of your family's coffers!”
“My family's coffers?” she asked, a confused frown turning her lips down at
the corners.
“Yes! Has Devlin not cleared them out as rumor suggests?”
“It would take far more than my brother's poor spending habits to clear out
the family fortune, Dorian. And that, if you believe nothing else, is the truth.
I have no need for any money. Indeed, that was the only comfort to this
entirely beastly situation. Were news of my blackened reputation to reach
the ears of the ton, I could escape North and live quietly and without fear of
abject poverty!”
“Who is this blackmailer of yours?” Dorian asked through gritted teeth.
“Unsurprisingly, Dorian, he kept his anonymity during our meetings,” she
spat sardonically. “He hardly wished for me to recognize him! I-I have seen
him but once. Last night. In the carriage home, he was sat there and I saw
him in the light of the moon.”
“Very romantic, I am sure!”
“Could it be more to the contrary? If I saw him again I would claw out his
eyes for the misery he has caused me.”
He tapped his fingers against his desk and began to stare her down. She
imagined that he was a lion in the depths of feral Africa and she a wildebeest
ripe for attack. The imagery had her feet shuffling, and, to combat this, she
glared at him.
“You mean to say that this man whom you have only seen the once and in
the moonlight, threatened your mother's life were you not to follow his
demands?”
Lily's fingers gripped the edge of his desk, the flesh turning white from the
force she used. Slowly, she nodded, wondering all the while if he believed
her. The moment the words had left her mouth, she had realized how far-
fetched it had all sounded, but then, was the truth not stranger than fiction?
“And why did this man select you?”
“I know not, Dorian. I wish I did. I wish I understood more about this
beastly situation, but I do not. All I know is that I was propositioned on pain
of my mother's safety. For the love of God, I-I even had to ask of my maid
what a seduction entailed! I was entirely innocent until that bastard came to
me and forced me into this situation.
"I have no clear cut answers, but I imagine you have noticed the similarity in
appearance between me and your late wife. Could that perhaps have
something to do with his selection?”
He flinched at her words. “Mayhap. Mayhap,” he spat. A frozen silence
settled between them and then suddenly, he spoke again. “You say you are
not sure if you are pregnant?”
Lily was surprised at the change of topic, and it showed on her face. She
shrugged awkwardly. “In truth, I may not be pregnant. It was simply
something my maid said. I-I have been ill these past few mornings. At first,
I believed it to be something I ate, but no one else in the house is so
plagued by sickness. My maid merely said that did she not know better, she
would say that I was indeed in the family way.”
“That is hardly proof of your state of health!” he remarked sourly.
“Pardon me, my lord, but have I not already said that?” she said between
gritted teeth. “I do not know if I am with child or not! I have said this three
times now!”
“If you are, there is a distinct possibility it is not mine, is there not?” he
commented softly, his eyes cold.
“Not your own? Not your own?” she repeated, her pitch increasing
dramatically as she stared at the impenetrable cloak he wore around himself
like a shield to hide his emotions from her. “If I am pregnant, then of course
it is your own! I have never . . . .” She swallowed. “I have never been with
anyone else . . . in that way,” Lily clarified. “God above, it was difficult
enough to have my Abigail explain a seduction to me, never mind cavort
around the country seducing hapless gentlemen!”
“Your behavior suggests otherwise. Sneaking in here to seduce me into
marriage . . . actually fucking me, and yet you are surprised that I wonder
at the bastard you may be carrying's father?”
Flinching at his use of such a coarse word and hurt beyond belief, Lily
gasped, and a feeling of faintness overcame her. She lifted a hand and
pressed it against her forehead.
“Why do you believe so ill of me?” she whispered and moved backwards so
that she could perch upon the armrest of the nearest armchair, one of the
two which were placed before the hearth. “What cause, until now, have I
given you to think so poorly of my nature?”
“Why else would you do what you have done? Seduce me in this way? It is
hardly proper behavior for a woman of your status! Had I not thought about
the situation, about your unlikely tale of not wishing to marry but to
experience the joys of what occurred between man and wife, I would not
have believed this of you. But your propensity for tall tales has felled you!”
“Proper? No,” she said with a withdrawn laugh. “It is not. And that my status
is so high should tell you that what I did, I did to protect my mother, to
ensure that she was, at all times, safe. I am the daughter of a Marquess, a
rich one at that. I have no need to seduce men into offering for me. I need
not marry unless I so choose. Until I met you, until you set my heart to
fluttering, I had been quite content to simply subsist through the Season
merely to be able to tell my mama that London and its society was not for
me, that I was not ready for marriage.
“I have not seduced you so as to force you into offering for me. To use force
in such a delicate situation as this is abhorrent to me. I would rather die
than have you as the coerced and blackmailed groom! And my propensity for
tall tales is meager, of that I can assure you. I have never t
ruly been all that
interested in what occurred between man and wife until I met you. Before
that, I was quite content to walk through life as a virgin.
“If I am with child, then I shall not disturb you with that information, my
lord. Feel secure in that. I shall away to some quiet town and raise my child
as a widow. Fear not, for I do not need you, neither as a partner nor as a
father for my child, whether she exists or not,” Lily whispered and stood on
shaky legs. She stumbled forwards and quickly gripped the backrest of the
armchair for support.
Lily heard the sounds of a chair scraping against the floor, and she quickly
spun around and held up a hand to halt him in his tracks. He was but five
steps away from her. “Do not come one step closer!” she commanded.
“Are you well?” he asked gruffly.
Lily laughed. It was a sound that rasped against her throat and had her
hiding a wince. “No! I am not well!” she spat. “The man I thought loved me
and who I believed to share the other half of my soul seems quite content to
believe the worst of me, to believe me duplicitous. I have shared with you
the truth and I shall share but one more salient fact with you . . . .
“Beware, Dorian. I say that not for my own sake, but for your own. The
blackmailer . . . .” Lily gulped and closed her eyes. “He wishes to hurt you.
Wishes to truly cause you pain. As you yourself said, why select me? If I
were you, I would investigate why a man would force a woman of my
position into seducing you . . . Ponder the thought of who can obtain keys to
your home and who can command staff . . . .” Lily paused and then, in the
glove that did not contain the two sovereigns, retrieved the key to Dorian's
house. She pulled it out and stared at it blindly for a moment and then
raised it to show him.
Releasing the heavy metal from her palm, she watched as it slid to the floor
and dented the polished wood with a slight bang. She stared at it once more
and then turned on her heel. Stalking over to the door, she paused again
and with one hand pressed against the doorknob, stared sadly at the
wooden pane. "Discover who wishes you harm. You may not be the man I
believed you to be, but I do not want the man with whom I fell in love to be
in danger. Protect yourself, Dorian. Protect yourself,” she called out
