Secret Shores

by Ella Carey

  “Tess, honey,” she called across the open workspace. Tess looked across the chic, white room. People chatted on the phone, smart, creative types and editors. The place was abuzz with constant deadlines and activity and gossip. In the past month, Tess had been to more celebrity-filled parties than she’d ever attended in her life.

  Now, she looked at the copy she was editing—an article on a rising supermodel. The girl was only sixteen and was doing the catwalks in Milan. Tess smoothed out her red dress and raised her eyes to her sister.

  “That article on Alec Burgess. The interview?” Caroline called.

  Tess nodded. No one else in the room cared or knew that she’d been his editor once.

  “I’ve had to push on with it,” she said. “Getting the new editor in for the interview? Is that okay with you?”

  Tess shrugged. Sure, what did it matter? It was all in the line of business. Her mistake had been to become in some way personally attached to one of her authors, not to mention a colleague, and now she’d lost the sum of everything that was her life. And as for Edward and Rebecca, they’d gotten what they wanted too. Both of them. Rebecca was still, presumably, holed up in Carmel-by-the-Sea being Rumer.

  Rebecca had lived such a life for decades, after all. Hiding away, doing what she had to do. And look at her. She’d been successful. More than successful. She’d become a phenomenon. There was no reason Tess couldn’t carve out a wonderful career in magazines. She needn’t work for Caroline for years. Tess had even thought about going to Paris. If she did well here in New York, who knew where that could lead her?

  Paris could be the perfect idea.

  “Thanks, Tess.” Caroline sent her one of her most ravishing smiles. “Good for you. Moving right on. Thought I’d better ask.”

  Tess turned back to her work. A few moments later, her head shot up. She sat up, bristling.

  “Tess.” James strode into the new open-plan office wearing a visitor’s pass around his neck. His hair was tousled and the expression on his face was grim. When he stopped at her desk, she saw the dark circles that ran beneath his eyes. “I managed to convince your sister to still run the article on Alec, but I had another motive. I have to talk to you. You haven’t returned any of my calls.”

  She looked up at James, folded her arms. “If you’re here to tell me about Alec’s success, then please spare me. I have no desire to hear about it, James. And if you were calling to ask for tips on how to do my job, I suggest that you go figure it out yourself. You seem pretty good at doing that.”

  James leaned forward on her desk. “You’ve got it all wrong.”

  She let out a laugh. “Oh, spare me. I’m sorry, but I can’t ease your conscience on top of everything else.”

  “No. Listen to me.”

  She looked up at him, her head tilted and her eyebrows raised in the most cynical manner she could conjure up.

  “I took on Edward because they were going to give him to Martin Haymes.”

  Tess had to shake her head at the thought of Martin plodding along with Edward. The book would never be finished. Although Edward might get away with no deadlines . . .

  “So you want me to thank you, James? You’ve done me a favor? Is that it?”

  “I took Edward on so that I can work with you to put things right.” He leaned closer.

  Tess kept her arms around her body, tight.

  But he didn’t move an inch. “Tess. Rebecca can’t afford her identity to be revealed because if it is, then her whole life becomes a sham—people have trusted that she’s Rumer Banks. People in Australia trusted that Rebecca Swift was dead.”

  “I thought you said you had something new, James.”

  “Edward,” James went on, tapping his finger on her desk, “believes in authenticity to the extent that he looks down upon any form of commercialism in his work. He’s convinced that you’d go to any bizarre lengths to sell books.”

  Tess put her head in her hands. “Yes. So if you knew my real reasons, then why—”

  James thumped down in the chair opposite her desk. “Exactly. That’s the answer. You’re the answer, Tess.”

  “Now you’re making absolutely no sense.”

  “The reason you want this to work isn’t commercial, is it, Tess?”

  Tess looked up at him through the fingers that were laced over her face.

  “Listen to me. You want Rebecca and Edward to get back together, don’t you?” His voice was dark honey laced with spice. “It’s nothing to do with commercialism. It’s about love and that is the most real, authentic thing in this world, Tess. You might have ignored every call I’ve made to you in the last couple weeks, Tess, but you can’t get away from the fact that you want that decades-old love story to end happily, and that has nothing to do with selling books.”

  Tess looked to the side. Away from him. She bit on her bottom lip.

  “You don’t want to work here, in this magazine. You need to get your job back. But just like Rebecca, you’ve run away. You’re about to take on a half-life just like she did, aren’t you? If you’re not careful, you’ll get to her age and regret not standing up for yourself. I know it’s hard, but you need to convince Rebecca to come clean about her identity. We both know Edward’s still in love with her. He fell for her the first time they met. He could never just turn off his feelings for her. It’s not something we humans can do.”

  Tess looked across at him. Caught his eye. “You lost me my job. I trusted you with the fact I’d gone to see Rebecca. I misjudged you. And now you have the gall to show up in my office and tell me that love is some sort of balm to fix all this—that it’s going to be easy to convince Rebecca to come clean about her past, that she should go and talk to Edward Russell about it, of all people?”

  James spoke in a low, controlled voice. “Since the day I met you, I’ve been trying to make things right. I’ve been trying to . . . goddamn it.” He stood up and took a few paces in a circle around her desk. “Tess!”

  Tess took a furtive look around the room. Caught a couple of interested glances pointed in her direction. She glared at James and lowered her voice to a whisper. “James. If you think you can walk in here and tell me that you’re helping me . . .” she hissed. “How dare you. Please, would you leave, and let me get on with my life? Because everything was just fine before you came along.”

  “Was it?” He kneeled down by the desk, whispering now. “Was it, Tess? Come on. You were hiding behind that career of yours. Trying to impress people and please your family in the best way you knew how because for some darned reason, you didn’t think you were good enough being you.”

  “How dare you.” Tess curled her fists until her nails bit into her palms.

  People were watching. She let out a loud breath.

  “James,” she said. “Please go away and sort out your problem with Edward Russell and Rebecca Swift by yourself, and leave me alone. Because, in case you’ve forgotten, I’ve been fired.”

  He stood up. Straightened himself. “We both know that I never, ever would have hurt you. You have to promise me that you believe that. Because I’ve fallen in love with you. You and I both know that. But right now, you’re hiding again. Just like Rebecca. And if you want to live your life in the way she has, then I can’t stop you. Good choice. Excellent decision. But I’ll tell you this. I’m one hundred percent sure that I will never care about someone as much as I care about you.

  “I’ve done everything I can to make things right. I know you were overlooked at Campbell and Black. And now, well, if you don’t mind, I’ll keep on trying to make things right. I’m leaving for Rome at eight o’clock tonight. I’m going to convince Edward to rehire you as his editor and get him to insist Leon give you your job back. I’ve kept all your authors on track for you, but I’m only willing to do so until you return. More to the point, Tess, I’m also going to try to convince Edward to see Rebecca. I want to finish what you started, and I’m going to begin exactly where you left off.”

 
He had an audience.

  Tess smiled at her new colleagues, a tight, forced smile like leather stretched over a shoe. This was a gossip magazine, for goodness’ sakes!

  James leaned closer, his voice soft. “I know what you really cared about. I can see that you wanted Edward and Rebecca to have another chance. I know that you understood their relationship was real. And I believe in what you were doing, Tess. If you want to come with me to Rome, then meet me at the airport. I’ll wait until the very last moment for you. And I’ll never, ever give up hope.” His voice cracked on the last words.

  Tess felt her breath shaking. She could not look him in the eye.

  But slowly, ever so slowly, she shook her head. She’d trusted him too many times, allowed herself to be sweet-talked before. And look where she’d ended up. So she watched him leave, and she sat there, glaring at the copy in front of her.

  “Wow, if you don’t want him, I’ll have him,” one of the editors quipped.

  A laugh resonated through the space.

  “Okay, Tess?” Caroline asked.

  Tess nodded, and turned the page of the article on her desk. Her face tingled with embarrassment. Slowly, the chatter in the workspace started up again.

  Two hours later, finally, finally, when the clock had dragged itself to six o’clock, Tess made her way out of the office and ran to the nearest subway station as fast as she could.

  “Flora,” she said, almost dive-bombing her phone once she reached her studio. She gave Flora a rundown of James’s visit and told her James was going to Rome. “Drink. Please? Now?”

  “Right. Where are we meeting?” Flora was in action mode.

  “Caffè Reggio,” Tess breathed.

  “I’m there,” Flora said.

  Tess changed her heels into a pair of ballet flats, ran a comb through her hair, and marched down to the café, pushing the door open and slumping into the nearest seat.

  “Hey.” Flora was there five minutes later.

  Tess sighed. “Time to move on.”

  Flora stared at her and shook her red head. “What. Do you mean?”

  Tess threw her hands in the air.

  Nico appeared at the table.

  She rubbed her aching shoulders as he stood there, tying his white apron around his waist. He looked at her. “What is it, lovely Tess?”

  Tess put her head into her hands and leaned against the table. “I don’t know,” she said. “This is madness.”

  “Yes, you do,” Flora said. “Go with him to Rome.”

  “Roma?” Nico’s voice belted into the quiet. “Of course . . . that was the answer from the beginning.”

  “No!” Tess groaned.

  “What’s the alternative? Sitting here in your sister’s shadow while she runs Floodlight Magazine, has a baby? Lives her life to the full while you slave away trying to be like her, while you desperately cast around for ways to impress your family? Although I guess it’s what you’ve always done.”

  Tess’s head ricocheted up.

  “James is the first person who has interested you and challenged you for years,” Flora went on.

  Tess stared openly at Flora.

  “Okay, you’ve thrown everything into your work. There’s nothing wrong with that. You’ve had considerable success.” Flora stretched her hand across the table.

  “And lost it all due to James,” Tess said, waving her friend’s hand away. “You’ve completely forgotten the fact that he wrecked everything with Edward. My mistake was in trusting James. And you think I should do so again?”

  “But he didn’t contact Edward and set all of this in motion. Leon obviously rang him and assumed that Edward was okay with your seeing Rebecca. You took the reins in your own hands and went to Carmel-by-the-Sea when Edward begged you not to. You’re making your own mess, Tess, honey. You’ve just got to stop. It’s that simple. Fix it. You’re in love with James, too, by the way, and you should tell him so. In case you hadn’t noticed—he’s in love with you too.”

  Tess stared at Flora. Nico’s head swiveled from Tess to Flora and back. He sat down at the table. Tess felt a stone land in her heart.

  “You have two choices.” Flora’s voice was strangely calm. “You either move forward, or you don’t. You either follow your instincts, which are, and I know it, that you’re in love with James, and you help work things out for Rebecca and Edward—or you sit on your own and risk never, ever feeling something so real again as long as you live. In short, you hide from your life, like Rebecca did. It’s time for both of you to live. It’s time for both of you to stop hiding from whatever the heck it is that scares you from taking a leap.”

  “Life is short, Tess,” Nico added. “If you hide from your passions, they do have this habit, you see, of coming back and slapping you in the face.”

  “Which is what happened to Edward,” Flora said. “I don’t think Rebecca or Edward was happy without each other for one minute. But while Rebecca ran away, it was Edward who made a sacrifice, and that sacrifice was himself. Don’t do the same thing. Because I can tell you, you have no reason to do so. No good reason at all. Be true to yourself, or what’s the point?”

  Tess looked at them both and let out a shuddering sigh. Pictured her life. Without James. On her own. Could she fall in love with someone else?

  The answer was most probably not.

  She placed her hands on the table, reaching out to her pair of friends. “Airport?”

  Flora glanced up at Nico.

  “I have my Fiat 500 parked outside,” he said. “Come on, Tess. I will get you to Roma!”

  Tess sat in the back of Nico’s minute car, closing her eyes every time he nearly hit a truck. But he’d grown up in Rome. Clearly, road rules didn’t matter. Once he’d pushed through the traffic, he stopped right outside JFK. Tess forced herself to stay focused. What she was doing was anybody’s guess. She’d thrown together a few things in her suitcase. Flora had found her passport; Nico had been waiting outside her building. Once he’d wedged her suitcase in his tiny car, he’d taken off. Now they were here. There was no looking back.

  “Now,” he said. “You have enough time. Go and find him, sort it out.”

  Tess kissed him on his stubbled cheek.

  She ran to the check-in counter of the airline, the one they had been to the last time. There was no sight of James.

  She lined up at the counter. She would get a ticket for the eight o’clock flight and try to contact him once in Rome. Someone from Campbell and Black would know where he was staying.

  But she jumped as a voice caught her from behind.

  “Tess. Thank goodness.”

  She turned around, and he stood there. She took a step toward him, to find herself encircled in his arms.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  Rome, 1987

  As the taxi wound its way along the freeways that led into the ancient city, the driver changing lanes and tacks with alarming ferocity, Tess leaned into James. He dropped a kiss onto her forehead.

  They left their suitcases at the lobby of the elegant hotel and made their way straight through the alleyways and the piazzas to Edward’s apartment. James pressed the buzzer on the street outside the building. When the door was unlatched, he turned to Tess and ran his hand over her cheek.

  “Ready?”

  She nodded.

  She looked upward as soon as she entered the cool interior of the building. Edward stood at the top of the winding staircase, dressed in a pair of camel-colored trousers and a blue-and-white striped shirt. His hair was combed neatly, and as Tess approached, she could smell the scent of his aftershave.

  Tess stopped on the stairway when he saw her, hesitating at the glare that said everything.

  “Tess,” Edward growled. “Bloody cheek. Why are you here?”

  “Edward,” James said. “We all need to talk. I thought we could get coffee.”

  Edward looked down, ran a hand over his hair, and took in a breath. And looked back to Tess. She held his gaze. If he w
ouldn’t agree to James’s suggestion, she would talk to him right here. Finally, after what seemed an age, Edward sagged, his body looking older now than she’d ever noticed before.

  A few minutes later they were in the dim interior of a café on Edward’s street, sitting in a booth that was overlooked by a gilt mirror, a reminder of late nineteenth-century grandeur. There was a silence.

  “Edward,” Tess said. “If you will forgive me, I want to cut to the chase. It seems that while both you and Rebecca have done everything you could to let go of the past, the past won’t let go of you.” Tess leaned forward, lowered her voice. “Don’t you want to see her again? Even once? I have found her, seen her, talked to her. You have both kept your love in your hearts for decades. The love that is between you is stronger than the choices you made when you were young.”

  Tess took in a breath.

  James reached out a hand and covered her own with it.

  Edward stared down at the round cookie on his plate. He traced his fingers around its edge, following the rough, handmade circle, his eyes running over it the entire time.

  “I have to admit,” Tess said, her voice barely above a whisper now. “Your story has changed me. I didn’t believe, you see, in love, before I read your book. I didn’t believe in its power. I had no idea how strong it could be. Can’t you see how your story might help other people, people who are . . . stuck, like me? Like I was. After the war, you and Rebecca had the gift of being able to see what life should be in its purest form. After everything had been destroyed, you fought to hold on to the things that mattered, but also to reach out and start again with something new.”

  Edward slowly raised his head.

  “You let Rebecca go because her dreams and her talent would have been destroyed were she forced to live with your family and all those strict rules that you and Vicky grew up with, that Sunday Reed escaped, that Edith accepted, and that were all your mother ever knew. But your love for Rebecca is stronger than any of that. It doesn’t surprise me that as soon as Edith was gone, your love for Rebecca came back to find you. Because it’s remained steadfast inside you throughout your entire life. Your love for her was just waiting for the right time to show up again. It stayed with you all these years. Please, would you let me go back to Carmel-by-the-Sea, talk to Rebecca again, see if I can convince her to see you? It’s not too late. Not yet.”