With Me Now

by Heather Hambel Curley

  “You make it sound so dirty.”

  “Was it dirty?”

  “It was delightful.” She paused and picked up a shovel. “And that’s all you get.”

  “No, no, that’s like saying, ‘Hey, I went to Fort Lauderdale and was the only guy who got in the hot tub with clothes on’ and just leaving it at that. I insist—no, demand—more detail. It’s Mikey. I simply cannot rest until I know he’s being properly taken care of.”

  “You’ve offered a rather specific example there, buddy. I assume you were that kid with clothes on in the hot tub?”

  “Shit, girl, I went into the hot tub with a sweater and sweatpants on. Do you see this body? No, of course you don’t and neither does anyone else.” He pursed his lips together. “Stop changing the subject.”

  “I’m not changing the subject. I just refuse to give you sordid details of a delightful weekend.” She looked between the two sections of test pits. The far pit, closer to the woods, seemed to draw her in. “In summary, he was there and I was there and it was exactly what you’d thought it would be. He was very well taken care of and he returned the favor….several times.”

  “I simultaneously hate you and want to be you.” Liam snorted. “But if I were you, I’d use a little more self-tanner.”

  “I had no complaints from Mike.”

  “Bitch.”

  Madison snickered and edged towards the test pit. There was so much work left to be done and so much more they could accomplish—if only there was more time. One entire week was finished. They only had three weeks left to finish the entire survey. It wasn’t fair.

  …Her…

  The test pit felt colder than it should, as it was situated in the direct sunlight, and for a moment, she stopped, her shovel still poised over the ground. Something didn’t feel right. The air around her was vibrating and she could hear Ben whispering, his voice frantic, but the words were impossible to understand. He was too far away.

  “The pit isn’t going to dig itself.” Liam peered over the edge of the pit and raised his eyebrow. “Lost in reminiscences of the weekend? Because if that’s the case, I’m happy to help talk you through it.”

  “Nope, I’m good.” She plunged the shovel into the dirt and dumped the soil into the bucket. “Unless you’d like to look at the rug burn on my back. Do you think that kind of thing can get infected?”

  He narrowed his eyes, studying her as if he were debating whether or not she was being serious. “Hilarious.”

  “Loose lips sink ships.”

  “Please. There’s nothing you could possibly say that would scandalize me. I’m asking only on the basis of possible titillation.”

  “You’ll just have to use your imagination.”

  “Bitch.”

  Madison bit her lip to suppress a smile. She thrust the shovel into the dirt again and pulled out another load of soil. Ben’s chatter was increasing to a dull roar in her ears, almost like the muffled buzz of a seashell when held up to her ear. He seemed to be all around her at once; pacing, tugging on the hem of her shirt, but she still couldn’t make out anything he was trying to say.

  As she went to plunge the shovel into the ground for a third time, something made her hesitate mid-movement. She wasn’t sure if it was a trick of shadows overtaking sunlight or if she actually saw something move across her line of vision, but it was enough to slow her to the point where the shovel barely skimmed earth.

  The chatter stopped.

  Madison pulled the shovel back and looked into the hole, opening and closing her eyes several times to wet her contact lenses as if it would better help her see. Something was in the hole, just barely unearthed from her abbreviated shoveling. It looked almost like a garbage bag: black and flimsy, nearly shredded from being underground.

  She set the shovel down. “Do we have any spades?”

  “Over here.” Liam cocked his head toward his duffle bag. “Did you find something?”

  “I think it’s just garbage, but I want to be careful before I tear into it.”

  “Smart girl.”

  She retrieved the spade from Liam’s bag and stepped back down into the pit, crouching over the unearthed item. It wasn’t a garbage bag. It was heavier, with an almost rubbery texture, and seemed to extend a distance underground. A tarp of some kind, maybe?

  She decided to backtrack and instead of using the spade to dig down, she dug over the item. The soil was dry and easily crumbled. It didn’t take long to lower the top strata of dirt down in a twelve inch by twelve inch section. Time had disintegrated portions of the black material but it still looked more or less intact. She trailed her finger over it: smooth and rubbery. Bizarre.

  Movement at the edge of the pit caught her eye and she looked up. For an instant, no longer than a heartbeat, she saw him. He was looking down into the pit, his eyes focused on the strange black material. Even after he was gone, she could feel his pain — devastation so deep it felt like it would physically pull her down. There was something about what she’d found. Something he was looking for, something he was fixated on.

  She looked back down at the material. At a second glance, it seemed like it was doubled over on itself. Something was barely sticking out from underneath, obscured almost entirely by the fabric around it.

  Madison leaned closer and lifted the material up. It was decayed enough around the edges that it moved easily, revealing what it was covering.

  Bone.

  She scrambled backwards, her hand hitting the spade to the side. Her knuckles throbbed from the sudden impact, but she barely noticed. Had she just found Ben’s remains? Was this why he’d been following her, persistently leading her to his final resting place? It almost seemed too easy.

  “Liam.” She almost didn’t recognize her own voice, it waivered and cracked like an uncertain teenager. “Can you…I need…come here.”

  He huffed. “I thought you said it was garbage. We still have to bag it and tag it, even if it’s a Styrofoam burger wrapper from 1994. That’s how this game is played.”

  “No.” She pawed her cell phone out of her pocket. Her fingers were shaking so badly she could barely type the message to Mike.

  You need to get over here.

  “No it’s not garbage, or no you’re not bagging it?”

  She swallowed hard. “I think it’s human remains.”

  She heard the sifter stop and, almost instantly, Liam was peering over the side of the pit. “Are you sure? Because it’s usually not remains. It’s usually a rock or a stick or something.”

  “I’ve taken anatomy classes, Liam, I’m pretty sure that’s a bone.”

  “But human remains?” He didn’t look convinced. “It’s probably a rat or a chicken or something.”

  “I don’t think so.”

  She pursed her lips together. Before she could fire back, Mike jogged over to them and smiled. She could see a hint of concern in his eyes. “What’s up, guys? Did you break something again?”

  “She thinks she found human remains.” Liam crossed his arms plaintively. “I told her that usually doesn’t happen.”

  Mike glanced at her. “You think it’s him, don’t you?”

  She nodded.

  “Wait, who’s him?” Liam looked back and forth between them. “You two are hiding something from me. What’s going on?”

  “Maybe nothing.” Mike stepped down into the pit and picked up the edge of the fabric with the tip of his index finger. “Maybe something. You know what this is, don’t you?”

  Liam again huffed. “Maybe you could speak with a few more generalities.”

  “It’s a gum blanket, or what’s left of one. Standard issue for the infantry during the war as a ground cover, but soldiers often used them as something like a poncho. It’s just canvas covered in vulcanized rubber. Goodyear patented it in 1844.” Mike paused. “You can’t deny it’s wrapped around something, Liam. Bone or no bone, there’s something under there.”

  “I’ll get some more spades.”


  Mike held up his hand. “Hang on, I’m going to call Brad and see what he wants to do.”

  “False. We’ll do what we need to do.”

  “Dude, we have to at least let him know.” Mike slid his finger across the screen of his phone and then held it to his ear. He frowned. “Straight to voicemail.”

  “We all know who he’s doing.” Liam wrinkled up his nose as if he’d just caught the scent of spoiled milk. “Disgusting.”

  “We’re not going to sit and wait until he calls you back, are we?” Madison heard the panic in her voice. Ben could rest—or whatever lost spirits do—just because they’d found the remains, right? Or would they actually have to excavate and rebury him? The rule system for this type of thing didn’t seem particularly well laid out.

  “Hey, it’s Mike, call me as soon as you get this. We found something.” Mike ended the call and then rubbed his temple with his fingers. “He’d want to be here for this.”

  “He should have been here two hours ago, but he wasn’t.” Liam crossed his arms. “I vote we dig.”

  “Liam’s right.” Madison chewed on the inside of her lip. “It’s not like he’s in a meeting or out to the store to buy more supplies. He’s screwing a pathetic groupie. We can’t just leave whatever this is partially excavated. We run risk of further damage from rain, from wind, heck, even just from being exposed to all this oxygen in the air.”

  Mike tapped the cell phone against his forehead. “I know, baby, I know.”

  “Pathetic groupie is the meanest thing I’ve ever heard you say.” Liam smirked. “You’re a catty bitch like me after all. Mikey, she’s a keeper.”

  “I know.” Mike winked at her, then again turned serious. “Let me try him one more time, then we’ll dig.”

  “I’ll get the shovels.” Liam headed toward the duffle bag. “We’ll have this whole thing excavated before that douche even has his pants back on.”

  Mike rolled his eyes. Looping his finger through Madison’s belt loop, he pulled her to him. “I don’t want you to be disappointed if it’s not him.”

  “I’m sure you’ll help me find a way to pick up the pieces.”

  “You say that now.” Mike touched the screen of the cell phone and held it to his ear. “God damn him. Yeah, dude, it’s Mike again. You need to call me the second you get this. Madison found something in the test pit in the woods. I can confirm it’s a gum blanket, maybe something else, so we’re going to move forward with excavating at this point. So just…you know, give me a call. We need you here.” He shoved the phone in his pocket. “I hate him. I really do.”

  “I’ll leave the final decision up to you.” Madison glanced down at the square of black fabric unearthed from the soil. “But you know what I think.”

  “I agree with you, Maddy girl.” He pressed his lips to her forehead. “Not just because you’re cute, but because that’s what needs to be done. We can’t put the dig on hold because he’s busy.”

  “Distracted.”

  “Yeah.” He ran his finger down her jawline. “But a girl also has me distracted. I’m still here.”

  “Enough with that.” Liam pushed a spade into Mike’s hands. “You humped on each other all weekend. Come up for air for God’s sake.”

  Madison ignored Liam. “So, how do you want to do this?”

  “A gum blanket spread out measured around 46x72 inches.” Mike’s eyes scanned across the test pit. “Even if it was spread out flat, I doubt it’s going to be intact. It looks like it’s tucked down around the bone—or whatever that is—so I say, let’s level it down first, then work from the open area to the back. We’ll set up our dig line with the lines of the blanket. Take it as it comes.”

  “What about sifting?” Liam nodded toward the duffle bag. “I’m assuming we’re skipping that for now.”

  Mike glanced from the pit to the duffle. “Skip it. Let’s keep any loose dirt to one area. If we need to come back to it we can sift, but for now let’s focus on getting this out and protected. Maddy, this is your find. Do you want left or right?”

  “I’ll take the right side.”

  “Liam, you take left. I’ll document and help you both.” Mike took a deep breath. “We’ve got this, right? We can handle this?”

  “Like there was any doubt.” Liam sank to his knees and started picking at loose dirt at the leftmost edges of the gum blanket. “Tell me one thing that douche bag has done for this site, other than the customary paperwork and occasional acquiring of pizza and hoagie sandwiches. Please. I’m over his bullshit. This is the kind of shit that puts a digger on the map. And where’s he? What’s he doing?”

  Madison crouched next to the right side of the gum blanket. Her hands felt shaky, almost numb. Was it really that easy to end his suffering? A little over a week on the job as a sensitive and she’d already put him to rest? If that was the case, the rest of the dig would be smooth sailing.

  Madison.

  She tried to focus on the excavating. How did you suggest a soul make its way to eternity? Was there some kind of final speech she needed to give? She’d found remains. Wasn’t that enough?

  Her…her…her….

  Madison set her spade aside and picked up a toothbrush. It would be easier to work around the delicate edges with the small brush instead of the clumsy spade. Maybe concentrating harder would block out his voice, his desperation. This was it, right? This part was over.

  Mike sank down on the ground next to her and spread out a map. He made a mark over a well-defined quadrant. “You know, everything else we’ve found fits the prescribed spectrum for a Civil War site. Buttons. Canteen spouts. Bullets. This body shouldn’t be here.”

  “It was a hospital.” Madison picked at a stubborn clump of earth. “Isn’t it more out of the ordinary that we haven’t found any remains until now?”

  “Not really. I mean, you know that big gas station down on Route 30? Camp Letterman, one of the biggest field hospitals, was in that general area. Yet, when we did the survey of the area, we didn’t find a single bone shard. Nothing. Not a bone, not a fragment, nothing.” Mike looked up from his map. “I was in college. It was one of my first digs, but I remember it like it was yesterday. We found artifacts and debris, sure, but we never found remains. We know men died at Camp Letterman. But we never found a single trace of them in the ground.”

  “Maybe the Spangler Farm was different.” Liam’s eyes remained fixed on his dig line. “Camp Letterman was set up after the battle. The Spangler Farm was more immediate. Maybe there was no chance to move the casualties.”

  “We have the surgeon’s records, though. Almost all the dead are accounted for: those who were sent home and those who ended up in the national cemetery.”

  “We know about most of them, but not all of them.” Liam motioned around the test pit with the tip of his spade. “Maybe this one was different.”

  “He’d have to be, if he’s here by himself. Something set him apart.”

  Liam flicked a clot of dirt across the pit to Madison. “So, tell me, Sassy, who you think this is? Obviously he’s set apart in Mikey’s mind, since Mikey can’t fathom a randomly placed grave, but you were set on edge. Family? Friend? Bastard child?”

  Madison laughed lightly in response, but kept digging. “If only it were that easy.”

  “Mikey won’t mind if you tell me.”

  Madison stared down into the dirt, the clumps of earth veritable road blocks between her and the truth. The boys were listening now, but how long would that last? “I’m just super motivated.”

  “Not a legitimate answer.”

  “Liam.” Mike glanced up from his map. “Dude, lay off.”

  “I’m just saying, I distinctly heard you ask her if she thought it was him. That would lead one to believe she had a specific him in mind.”

  “And I’m saying you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” Madison picked a rock free from the dirt and set it aside. She forced her hand to stay restrained and dig slowly. Deep down she just wanted to
tear into the pit and find out what was underneath the gum blanket.

  “We’re all friends here. Try me.”

  She used the back of the toothbrush to loosen another rock. “I…okay, for argument’s sake, do you believe in ghosts?”

  “No.”

  “This conversation is going to go nowhere then, let me tell you.”

  “Okay, fine, I’m sorry. Ghosts, yes.” Liam didn’t look up from digging. “When I was seven, I stayed in my great-aunt Ruth’s antebellum house outside of Charleston. I was lying in a four poster bed when this big, orange orb floated into the room, settled on the ceiling above the bed, and disappeared.”

  “I’m not talking about orbs. I’m talking about full body spectral…specters.”

  “You mean like that nonsense about the ghost unit on Little Round Top? An entire company of long dead soldiers drilling in the field of death, then just vanish into nothing?”

  “No, I’m a bit more specific, as in one dead soldier.”

  Liam finally looked up, motioning at her with his spade. “When we started this dig, you said you saw someone watching you from the bank barn. I told you this site was shut down to the public and you tried to brush me off. You think it was a ghost?”

  “I told you that you wouldn’t believe me.”

  “I’m not saying I don’t believe you.” Liam looked back down at the pit. “Everyone and their brother has seen a ghost in Gettysburg. There’re books devoted to ghosts in Gettysburg. There’re forty million ghost tours out on the main drag in town. You aren’t the first person to see a shadow and think it’s the spirit of the undead.”

  Tears pricked the back of Madison’s eyes. She blinked them back quickly—what loss was it to her if Liam thought she was nuts? She couldn’t shake the feeling of defiance though, as if it were her job to protect his spirit. “His name was Ben.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “I talked to a psychic in town and she said I was a sensitive. She helped me talk to him and he told me his name is Ben. He’s young, probably not that much older than me.” She kept her gaze on Liam steady, as if she were challenging him. “He looks lonely. Lost.”