Enmity

by E. J. Andrews

  I allow myself a small smile at the thought, at the mere thought I could have affected his whole view of reality.

  I start to wonder when it happened, when I changed as a person. Because I find it hard to believe that I was always the person I am now. When I was maybe six or seven, this wasn’t me. And I don’t know when it happened, maybe it was over the years of hearing my mother blame me for everything that ever went wrong in her life, I started to become her, and blame myself as well.

  I suppose life happens to everyone, and no one can fight that. But I never expected to look back and have myself be so completely different.

  My eyes find Chase’s, and I fall into them willingly.

  There is a drumming in my chest, strong but gentle, and I recognise the feeling of my heartbeat pounding as it only does with him.

  I lower myself down to plant a kiss lightly onto his lips, to feel that closeness I hate but am somehow drawn to.

  I feel the caress of his pout, but then the door opens and I turn my head. All I can see is the hate pouring from Darria’s eyes as he catches us.

  Nate

  I can tell Marina is still mad, though she tries to hide it.

  She acts like everything is fine, and then out of her mouth will come an accusation that she tries to cover as a joke. She forgets that I know her.

  ‘This is bigger than just us, Nate.’

  She knows what it does to me when she speaks my name. That just watching her lips form the word sends a shiver through my body.

  ‘I have to fight for what I believe in, Marina, even if what I believe in isn’t what other people think is right.’

  She looks baffled instantly. ‘You don’t even know what’s right!’ Now I am the one who’s shocked.

  ‘I know what’s right for me.’

  ‘Oh, and you really think these people think the same?’

  ‘Of course not!’

  This brings her up short so I continue.

  ‘If these people had their way, the world would be a smoking crater within the day.’

  Marina does not smile. But she starts blinking quite fast.

  ‘Well, I don’t want to be responsible for the end of the world.’ She sounds frightened.

  I make my way closer to her. My room always seems ten times bigger when it becomes a battleground.

  I take one of Marina’s hands in both of mine.

  ‘The world ends for us all, eventually.’

  Marina watches me carefully. Probably judging what I have just said.

  ‘So you’re telling me I’m going to die? And that the world is going to end?’

  I try not to smile, though I think half of it slips onto the right side of my face.

  ‘Eventually, yes.’

  I watch Marina’s smile match my suppressed one. She slowly pulls her hand from mine and I watch her eyes narrow ever so slightly.

  ‘You really do have a way with words, Nathaniel.’ Her words definitely have daggers attached.

  Then Marina takes both of her open palms and pushes against my chest as hard as she can. I stumble backwards from pure shock as I watch her storm out.

  There is no way I can come back from this one. I will have to let her hate me for a day or two.

  Hermia

  Darria is dragging Chase by his hair. I can see how much this pains Chase—being taller than Darria by at least a foot, he has to stoop quite significantly.

  I hurry after them as Darria throws the door to his room open and dumps Chase down on the ground.

  He is going to kill him. I know the rage that Darria holds, and it is a killing rage.

  Law sits in a hard wooden chair behind Darria’s desk and he hurries forward now to intervene.

  ‘Darria—’

  ‘I gave him one instruction—’

  ‘Sir,’ Chase tries to interject. When Darria gives him a swift kick to the ribs, I can tell he regrets it.

  Chase splutters as he pulls his legs up into his chest.

  ‘Darren!’ Law interjects, but there is not quite enough anger in his words for my liking. This man is abusing his son; he should be outraged.

  ‘Why? Why?’ Darria screams down at Chase.

  ‘Because—’ Chase cannot get the rest of his words out because Darria leans down and punches him in the face. I’m guessing he has knocked out one of his teeth, judging from the blood that pools and drips from Chase’s mouth.

  ‘Why?’ Darria is inches from Chase’s face now as he demands an answer.

  ‘Because I needed to know they were with us.’

  Everything in me goes dead. He was using me?

  Darria grabs Chase’s face with his hand and holds him by his chin.

  ‘You go near her again and I will find the most drawn-out and excruciating way to kill you.’

  Darria strikes Chase’s cheek with his other hand, open-palmed. The mark it leaves shows that it must have hurt. Not nearly enough for my liking.

  Darria stands and then looks at me. His expression isn’t right. It looks as though he almost pities me.

  ‘He’s down if you’d like to kick him,’ is all he says, and then he leaves. Law follows behind a few seconds later.

  Chase looks up at me, his eyes starting to race as he scrambles for an apology. I cut him off.

  ‘The stupid thing is, I knew.’

  Chase attempts to get on his feet, looking a little disorientated.

  ‘Hermia—’

  ‘Thank you for proving to me that every fear I’ve ever had has been valid.’

  I am pretending not to listen to him, to not even see him. I turn away and start for the door.

  ‘Mia, don’t do this, listen to me—’

  I should turn around and throw some kind of insult at him for calling me Mia again, but instead I slam the door behind me so I am unable to hear any more lies from Chase.

  It is then that I decide.

  I have no other choice but to leave.

  Nate

  We are back at the compound. I don’t know for how long; the details of our return have been sketchy at best. I am wandering down the corridor of the level above ours, the one we are never allowed to wander around alone. For some reason no one has said anything.

  Everyone else is on our level waiting to hear what Darria has to say about what is happening next. We could be waiting years.

  I see two keepers heading towards me and I know that my wandering will be coming to an end. Then I see that it is Cora, and a boy slightly younger than her. I’m guessing he’s her brother by the way that she is dragging him close behind her.

  ‘Nate!’ She says my name as though she is taken aback by me.

  ‘Cora, what’s going on?’

  I see the bags in Cora and the younger boy’s hands and am concerned.

  ‘Everyone’s leaving,’ Cora says. ‘No one believes we can win anymore. Not with Collins dead.’

  I forgot to mention that, didn’t I? Collins was taken out by Caden shortly before Georgie died. But they can’t all leave just because the president is dead. Can they? Not when they were so willing to fight for Darria only days ago.

  Cora looks at me and then lets go of her brother so that she can give me a one-armed hug. I hug her back; it feels strange that Cora isn’t going to be pointing a gun at me at least once a day around here.

  ‘Nate, please, be careful.’

  Then Cora pushes her way past me as she takes the boy’s arm again, pulling him along. Then they are gone and the compound has never felt so empty.

  I make my way down the hall, feeling as though there is nowhere to move but forward. Somehow I was left on this level when a full lift took the others to our level and no one has come back for me yet. It seems strange that they wouldn’t. I guess they’re short on keepers at the moment.

  I stop at the entrance to the training room. I haven’t been here in weeks; it feels like falling into a memory just walking back in here. I enter and make my way over the hard polished-wood floors and onto the large blue mat that ta
kes up most of the floor.

  I knew how to fight before setting foot in here, but this seems like the place where fighting became of actual use.

  I crouch down and run my fingers over mat that stretches out beneath my feet; the coarse fibres that brush my fingertips feel different to when they were pressed against my cheek or back.

  ‘I think your defeat has actually stuck to the threads.’ I stand and turn to see Rence.

  He looks exactly the same as every other time I have been in his presence. Grey uniform, short clipped hair, evil look on his face.

  ‘I guess I’ll have to give it another go sometime, think I’d be a little better this time,’ I say in a conversational tone. It feels wrong with Rence.

  He laughs in a short burst that contains hilarity.

  ‘If you look up the definition of leader I don’t think you’ll find it’s someone who cowers away from a fight and loses the ones they can’t get out of.’

  Now I scoff.

  ‘Actually, I think that’s exactly the definition of a leader. That’s why I don’t want to be one.’

  Rence does not look amused. He watches me carefully, his eyes starting to bulge.

  ‘My father thinks you’re important, I think you’re useless.’ I can’t help but nod my head.

  ‘I completely agree.’ I try not to sound sarcastic. ‘That’s why I don’t want to be here. And I’m pretty sure you do most of the leading. I’m not important at all.’ Rence’s eyes are getting wider still.

  ‘Darria also sees something in you. What I think he’s seeing is a little girl.’

  I let out a little sarcastic ‘ha’, and then think I probably shouldn’t have.

  ‘Look, whatever you’re trying to scare me out of, I’m already not interested. You have all the power. There you go.’

  I gesture towards Rence, as if I’m handing something over to him. He doesn’t move an inch. He is watching me too closely now. As if he is sizing up prey.

  ‘No.’ He shakes his head slowly. ‘The easiest thing would be for me to become your successor, say in the event of your death.’

  My eyes fall to a long-bladed knife that rests in Rence’s hand. There is a demented twist to his lips.

  I catch my breath, and before I can exhale again, he is upon me.

  I move to the side, I am fast, but Rence has always been faster.

  My shoulders spin me away, moving my body just out of his reach until I end up behind his back. I kick out and see Rence stumble forwards, then he turns and his eyes are blank with rage.

  I try to slow it down but Rence is too quick, I can’t get enough time to get my head around what exactly I need to do.

  A searing pain erupts within me, but within an instant it is gone, and I feel nothing except the sensation of falling. I see the laminated wood that covers the walls and the ceiling and then Rence’s face sets a shadow over my own. His eyes are hollow but not empty. He is on a mission and he thinks it is simple. I don’t want to make it simple, but I know I cannot beat him now. Rence looks at me as though seeing me for the first time, with curious eyes.

  He plunges the knife deeply into my side again and I scream out.

  His eyes are different; there is a deep pleasure within them that scares me more than the knife he keeps plunging through my skin.

  Again and again and again and again.

  And all I can think but cannot say is stop.

  Hermia

  There is just one more thing I need, and it isn’t so much a need but something I will not feel satisfied leaving without.

  I open the door to the meadow room and it is somehow different. The leaves are browning and beginning to fall. I am amazed by how it does that.

  ‘Mia.’

  I spin around to see Chase. The one person I don’t want to see is of course the one person I run into.

  ‘You don’t really respond very well to threats, do you?’ I say to him.

  Chases gives me a tiny smile, one I only recognise because I know him so well now.

  ‘I need to explain.’

  He really must enjoy pissing me off then.

  ‘Explain how you lied to me?’

  ‘No, how I lied to them!’ he explodes. I don’t know why I am even listening to this. He is a liar; of course he’s going to lie now. ‘You really think I’d tell them the truth?’ Chase starts to advance, so I retreat. Step by step, he moves closer, so I move further away.

  Chase’s eyes hold a joking smile as he says, ‘Don’t make me chase you again.’ I have absolutely no reason to trust him, and I now see I never did in the first place. I need to counter him, catch him out in the lie. I try.

  ‘The question is, do I really think you’d be honest with me?’

  He seems to be stumped so I continue, wanting to cause him even the slightest bit of distress. ‘You know, you’re quite a good actor. If being an evil pawn in a stupid, pointless war doesn’t work out for you, I think that should be your next career move.’

  To my utter surprise and shock, I see a twisted smile appear on Chase’s face. My plan to annoy and humiliate him is not going so well.

  ‘Well, I’ll make you a deal.’ He now wears his sweetest smile, and my anger boils up. ‘I’ll take up acting if you stop behaving like such a narcissistic, closed-off, annoying bitch.’

  We both stand at a distance, a tense silence filling the open air between us.

  I know I am all of those things, but hearing him saying it doesn’t particularly feel all that nice.

  ‘You . . .’ I start, expecting the right kind of insult to come. It doesn’t. I am caught waiting for something to hit. Still nothing comes. ‘You are . . .’

  I know my face holds impatience and by the look on Chase’s face I can tell he is enjoying my struggle.

  Chase scoffs.

  ‘You’re blind. You’re a perfect shot but you’re damn blind,’ he says, stepping towards me. He is far too close to me now.

  ‘That’s bullshit,’ I challenge.

  Chase shakes his head wildly and then looks so far into my eyes I wonder if he is staring straight through me.

  ‘I look at you and I see exactly the person you are, I see how scared you get when you know the group is going to be in danger. You get angry at people calling you Mia because it reminds you of a time you felt safe with your family. You feel you have to prove yourself when you fight so you go around firing bullseyes every time just to prove to them and to yourself that you can. I don’t know if you don’t want to or you can’t, but I see exactly who you are and you don’t see anything. You don’t see that I would do anything and absolutely everything for you. And you don’t see that I’m in love you.’ Well, I heard that.

  I just can’t process that.

  He what?

  Lo—

  No.

  No.

  He said it with a weird tinge of pain in his voice. Why was there such pain in his voice?

  The words just hang in the air as though they are literal entities. If they were I would destroy them.

  I look at Chase and find this the worst thing I could possibly do. I see him differently now. That look on his face, it seems to illustrate what he has said. How could I have been so blind to it? He is right.

  The worst thing, the worst thing, is how I feel now that I have heard it. As though I have found a part of me I never knew existed, and it is the very best part of me to ever exist. This is what destroyed my mother.

  ‘I’ll always love you, Hermia. No matter what.’ There is a finality to Chase’s words.

  Words fill my mind and they are all Bill’s. He told me not to trust Chase. That he was too perfect, that there was something wrong with him that he would never let show. Maybe Chase is just saying this now to hide whatever that may be. But maybe he does love me. Why? Why me?

  My hand rises before I can know why. Then I realise. Chase is better off dead than in love with me.

  My finger is laced through the trigger of the handgun I stole from Nate’s dresser before
we left Base; it feels so at home in my hand. I try not to look, but I catch a glimpse of his shock before I fire without any more hesitation.

  Nate

  There is a dripping, a light tapping of liquid falling onto some kind of hard surface. If it is what I think it is—my seeping blood—I cannot feel any pain.

  All I can think about is the sensation of metal entering and exiting my body. It surprisingly has little to no feeling at all, just the numb pain of nothing. Somehow I think that hurts worse.

  I stare at the plain white ceiling and curse myself. Rence is gone; he must have seen that I am slowly fading and been satisfied that his work was done.

  Marina.

  She will be so upset that we fought that last time we spoke.

  The last time.

  I don’t want to die, but I don’t think I have a choice anymore. It is out of my hands.

  I just wish I could have made more of my life before making the least of my death.

  I feel no more pain, or very little; it’s as though I’m swathed in cotton wool.

  I wonder if this is how Olivia felt when she died.

  I thought I would have seen it coming; there has always been something inside of me that has made things like this—danger—easy to spot. But I never saw Rence doing something like this.

  His eyes are still so clear in my mind, the way he looked so pleased with himself once he had taken the first stab, then just kept going, without any thought of stopping.

  I never was able to say stop. Why couldn’t I just have told him to stop?

  My eyes get that tight strain that comes with sleep.

  Marina.

  I can’t leave her.

  I can’t stay for her.

  Marina.

  I love her.

  I’m dying.

  This is it.

  My eyes close.

  Hermia

  My legs have that ache that resembles a burn. I am reaching the outskirts of the city, so I cannot stop, no matter how much I wish I could if only for a moment. I have only allowed myself a slit for my eyes and all I can hear is my breathing, made heavy from the heat radiating off the desert that has been made of the city outskirts. You can see the line where the fire must have somehow stopped and receded upon itself, saving the city and my grandmother sixty years ago, therefore saving me today.