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The Rancher's Unexpected Family

Page 13

by Myrna Mackenzie


  “Some of them are, but my mind was wandering when you showed up. That counts as goofing off.”

  “Doesn’t exactly sound like fun.”

  “How do you know? In my mind I was in a dreamworld.”

  He raised one brow. “Doing what? With whom?”

  Oh, now he had made her blush. Maybe he had been trying to. She was amazingly pretty when she blushed, and today, tipping her head back, she looked like a woman waiting to be kissed. Or a woman planning on kissing a man. Either way, she looked too damned enticing.

  “Nothing like that,” she said. “It wasn’t that kind of dream. There wasn’t a man involved.”

  Good. “So it was a fun dream, but there was no man involved.”

  “Exactly. I was practicing affirmative thinking.”

  “I see.” He didn’t. “And what were you affirming?”

  “I was...it’s silly, but I was imagining myself in my own apartment, somewhere in a city. I’ve just been asked to oversee the redevelopment of an aging part of town, one that needs revitalizing. The people who’ve hired me know I can do it, because I get results. And what that means is...”

  “Lots of money?”

  She shook her head. “No. Well, maybe. It means that I can give Izzy all that she needs. I can protect her.” Kathryn’s voice was quiet but intense. Clearly this was something she worried about. It was the thing that woke her up at night.

  Holt’s mind went dark. He tried not to think about how alone in the world Kathryn was. He didn’t have the right to go there. He didn’t even know how to express the confusing, conflicting sensations that were flitting through him. “Good things will happen for you,” he said. “Have to. They wouldn’t dare elude you. You’re a fighter.”

  “It wasn’t all selfish stuff I was thinking about, either,” she said as if wanting to protect your kid was even close to selfish. But he knew what she meant. The apartment. The job and accolades. “I was imagining Ava DuShay calling me. She’s the lady who’s most worried about Dr. Cooper leaving. She was telling me that she loved the new doctor and the clinic and that now she wouldn’t have to worry about her son coming back to Larkville and putting her in a home.”

  “Mrs. DuShay worries about that?”

  “Yes. Her son lives—”

  “In Dallas. Yes, I know Buddy. He’s an ass. A bigger ass than I am.”

  “Well, I know you wouldn’t be putting her in a home if she was your concern.”

  “Damn straight I wouldn’t.” He frowned.

  “I probably shouldn’t have mentioned that,” she said. “You’re looking fierce.”

  “I’m thinking that I need to talk to Buddy when he comes to town next time. Maybe move his nose to one side of his face. Making his momma worry like that.”

  “I think she might worry more if you punched Buddy. He’s her son, and she loves him no matter what. You can understand that, can’t you?”

  He stared at her. She knew darn well he wasn’t a sensitive guy. He didn’t want to be a sensitive guy. He didn’t want to feel. Feelings brought trouble and everything bad that had ever happened to him had been a result of out-of-control emotions.

  “Anyway, she isn’t going to have to worry about that,” he said, ignoring his thoughts. “We’ll get a doctor. You’ll get that phone call. And you’ll get that job, too. Anyone can see that you know how to get things done. I must have met twenty people today telling me about what they were doing for their part of the fundraiser.”

  “Yes, they’re excited, aren’t they?” she asked. “I’m excited, too. This is going to be so much fun! Everyone’s going to have a great time. I talked to Nan and she says that the Bunk’n’Grill is booked solid. I asked her to see if she could find some more places to put people. Nan’s on it.”

  He smiled in spite of himself.

  “What?”

  “Did you promise her cookies?”

  She looked guilty. “I promised I’d teach her to braid beads in her hair. She likes quirky things like that. But she would have done it without. Nan doesn’t need bribing. No one here does. I just— They’re all working so hard, I want them to know I appreciate it.”

  “You’re not even going to benefit from the clinic.”

  “You know I will. I’ll get to talk about it in job interviews and, more than that, I’ll just know I helped make it happen. My point is, people are capable of doing a lot of things they might not think they’re capable of doing if they don’t have you to run to. I’ll bet they all got along when you were out of town.”

  “So you are the elf?”

  “Excuse me?” Oh, weren’t those gray eyes pretty when she opened them that wide?

  “You know what I mean, Kathryn,” he said, his voice low. “I have a pickup truck full of food and other gifts. What’s that all about?”

  “People always take their problems to you. They...love you, just like they did your father. I just thought maybe they might not have thought about how much work taking care of them is and that they might, maybe, possibly, want to show you that they appreciate you in some way other than simply saying how great you are. Speaking of which...” She turned to rummage in her bag.

  He saw what she was going to do and automatically, without thinking, he put his hand over hers. He tried to ignore the softness of her skin and how his own flesh reacted to this simple touch. Kathryn froze and turned to him.

  “Not you,” he said, his voice tight. “You’ve been doing all the work. You don’t get to do the payback thing.”

  “You saved me and Izzy. I never paid you back for that.”

  “Sure you did.”

  “How?”

  But he got stubborn. You lived. You’re safe, he thought. That was her payback to him. But he would never say that. That was delving into territory he didn’t want to and wouldn’t traverse. Especially now.

  “I’ll let you give me some of Gus’s cookies.”

  “How do you know I wasn’t going to give you cookies?”

  He chuckled then. “I guess I don’t. Just don’t give me anything. I don’t want payback.”

  She crossed her arms. “Are you going to tell me that you turned all those people down?”

  He frowned. “No. I didn’t. I wanted to, but I didn’t. It would have created problems.”

  “It would have hurt their feelings.”

  “Yes.”

  She smiled. Brilliantly.

  “What?”

  “You turned down my gift. That means you consider me an equal, a partner, because you didn’t worry about hurting my feelings.”

  “You have too much sense to take anything I say or do to heart. We’ve discussed this before.”

  “You’re darn right. You and I are...friends. We don’t have to stand on ceremony.” Suddenly she gave him a strange look. She had risen to her knees and crossed her arms. There was a stern look in those gorgeous gray eyes. Kathryn looked at his pocket. “I see you have another of those little scraps of paper, those lists,” she emphasized. “Who asked you to do what today?”

  Holt felt like a kid who had gotten caught passing notes at school. He was half tempted to cover his pocket with his hand. “There’s not much on it.”

  “And you say that you don’t make lists...” she drawled.

  “Your lists would make my lists ashamed to be called lists.” He pulled the slip of paper from his pocket. “Not a single color code in sight and only two items on it.”

  She took a look. “These are both things they could figure out on their own. Not that I can talk. I’ve asked you to do more for me than anyone else has. Thank goodness that, as I told you, I’m done asking you for things.”

  “I know what you said. You’re telling me I’m expendable.” For some reason, that ticked him off. All his life he’d been following in his father’s footsteps, being everyone’s go-to guy and—yes—he seldom admitted it even to himself, but there had been times when he’d wished he could step out from under the weight of all that responsibility for a while.
But now? Here with Kathryn telling him she didn’t want his help?

  She looked totally surprised. “I’ve...offended you?”

  “No. I’m not offended.” He was...he didn’t know what in hell he was.

  “I just wanted you to know that I realized I shouldn’t have pushed you so hard. You made the calls, you gave me your ranch to more or less destroy, you lent me Nancy when I needed her, you gave up your time, you even gave me riding lessons and you made sure Izzy was born safely. I came back to Larkville determined to declare my independence and make it on my own. Asking you for so much...I took too much help from you. I should have stood on my own feet more.”

  “Who told you that?”

  She was shaking her head, looking sad and lovely. “I didn’t need to be told. Growing up, I was powerless, but when I married...I take credit for making that mistake. James might have been a controlling man, but I was the one who married him and allowed that to happen to myself. That’s why I have to be my own person and be much more proactive.”

  “You are.”

  “Good. I can’t be that woman again. When I got pregnant with Izzy—I had been sick and I neglected to take a couple of my birth control pills—James flew into a rage. He didn’t want her. That’s when I knew I had to leave him and I had to change. So immediately asking you to help me was not the way to go.”

  He shook his head.

  “What?”

  He was as angry as any man could be inside. At himself. At her stupid ex-husband. At any man who made a woman feel guilty for not agreeing to be under his thumb. But he smiled. “If you think you seemed dependent when you asked for my help, you’re wrong. You were persistent. Stubborn. Annoying.”

  “I was scared.”

  “Could have fooled me. You were bold. A dog that wasn’t going to let go of a bone. You were ready to fight me for what you wanted, to make it clear that I was being a stubborn idiot. And you were right. I had the contacts. This is my town, these are my people, they’re my responsibility. And you wouldn’t take no. That’s not being dependent, and you know it.”

  She blew out a breath. “I know it. And I’m proud that I was able to walk away from James and of my part in trying to make this clinic happen. But that still doesn’t make it right that I and every person in town over the age of eighteen comes to you to solve all their problems. That has just got to stop.”

  “No.”

  “Holt...”

  He gave her a “don’t go there” look.

  She grumbled something under her breath.

  “What?”

  “I said that you’re a damned stubborn man.”

  “That I am. Deal with it, hon.”

  “You can’t tell me you’re always fine with everyone leaning on you. You fought me tooth and nail.”

  “Because you asked me to do the asking. I sure as hell don’t like that.” But she was right. There were days when he wanted to feel free to say, “I don’t have time today.” So why was he arguing so hard? He knew why. Because if he admitted it, she would stop asking him for things. And then he’d have no reason for these intimate little conversations.

  His blood ran hot thinking of the word intimate. His blood ran cold thinking of ending his time with her.

  “I know you don’t like asking,” she agreed, and she looked up at him. Suddenly he wasn’t thinking about her ex-husband or the clinic or the town. He was thinking about not asking. Just doing exactly what he wanted to do.

  Holt reached out and slid his hand beneath her hair. He cupped her neck, drew her closer. Now they were body to body, her breasts to his chest, her thighs against his, and he was staring down into her eyes. Then his lips were on hers, on all that berry softness, feeling the pressure of her mouth as she returned his kiss and made him burn. He pressed closer, took more. Any second now he was going to slide his palm down her curves, take as much of her as he possibly could. Right here in a public place.

  “Hell.” The single word came out too loud.

  Then he heard a small sound, just the slightest of sounds, a tiny whimpering. He froze. Kathryn practically leaped away from him. Izzy was stirring. The baby who ruled Kathryn’s world, her reason for living, her reason for most of what she did. Soon it would just be Kathryn and Izzy.

  Holt withdrew his hand and moved away.

  Kathryn sat down on her heels. “I’m sorry,” she said.

  “For what?” he asked as nonchalantly as he could given the fact that his body was still aching for her.

  “Don’t do that.”

  He didn’t pretend to misunderstand. “You think I’m going to blame you for not wanting to roll around on the ground with your baby right there?”

  “Some men would.” He could imagine who she was talking about. He wanted to tell her that he wouldn’t be like that. He wanted to make her promises. How idiotic was that? It wasn’t going to happen.

  Instead, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a slip of paper.

  “I don’t understand.” She took it as he rose and started to walk away.

  “It’s a list of three potential doctor candidates,” he told her. “They’ll all be here at the fundraiser.”

  And then he took off. Fast. Giving her the list of candidates was, after all, what he’d really come to do, anyway, wasn’t it? He surely hadn’t come to tell Kathryn that she made him crazy, that he found himself remembering her behind him on that horse, that he thought of touching her all the time.

  He definitely hadn’t come here to kiss her.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  HOLT wasn’t even out of the park when Kathryn’s cell phone rang. She answered it, hung up, grabbed Izzy and started running. She must have been making a fuss because Holt turned around.

  “Kathryn, what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. Everything. That was the town of Skyridge, Illinois, calling. The city manager has been called out of town and he wants to push the video interview to now rather than two days from now. I have to get home, change clothes, set up the computer with the camera and...and...” She looked at Izzy. “I have to get Izzy to Johanna or Gracie or Mrs. Best. Fast. What if Izzy started squealing or crying while I was in the middle of the interview? I hate dropping her off on someone or feeling like I’m getting rid of her, but—”

  “Give her here,” Holt said, and he held out his arms.

  Kathryn stopped babbling. She stared at him.

  He glared at her. “Don’t say anything. Don’t argue. You don’t have time to talk about it. I won’t hurt her.”

  “I’ll try to make it short,” she said, reluctantly giving Izzy over to him.

  “Make it what it has to be. This is your moment. Now go. Call me when you want her back.”

  She leaned forward, kissed Izzy, said, “I love you, baby,” and then sprinted toward her house. She tried not to think about how Holt had avoided all things Izzy up until now. She was 100 percent certain he wouldn’t let anything harm the baby, but she wasn’t so sure about Izzy’s effect on him. This was a man who had known he had a child on the way and had had that child taken from him forever.

  The stress of worrying about what was going on between Holt and Izzy made Kathryn’s smile too tense, her answers falsely bright. Her mind wasn’t on the interview and she was faking it. Ed Austen, the interviewer, had a million questions, but he seemed particularly interested in the clinic and the “Come Be a Cowboy Day.” “Sounds like a winner,” he said.

  “I hope so,” Kathryn said, her mind still wandering to Izzy and Holt. Then she realized what she was saying, what she was doing—or not doing—and she sat up straighter, looking directly toward the screen. This was her baby’s future. She couldn’t waste it. Worrying wouldn’t change what was going on with Holt and Izzy. “We’re at capacity right now,” she said, sitting up straighter, “and everyone is ready. This fundraiser should give us a good start on beginning our work on the clinic.”

  “And what if you leave? Who will make it happen then?”

  Kathryn didn
’t even hesitate. “Holt Calhoun, Johanna Hollis, the mayor.” She rattled off the names of several other people. “Almost everyone in the town, really. They’ve all gotten into the spirit of things. But Holt’s the one who’s helped the most. He’ll follow through.” She owed him for that. She hoped he had found someone at Gracie’s or Johanna’s to babysit Izzy. As soon as she had the thought, she was sure that he had. Holt got things done. He would find a capable sitter.

  Kathryn breathed a sigh of relief and settled in to give the best interview she could. But the second it was over, she didn’t even bother to change back into her more casual clothes. Instead, she bolted out the door and headed straight for the mayor’s office.

  “Holt? Izzy?” she asked Johanna when she didn’t see either him or Izzy.

  “Not a clue,” Johanna said. “Is there a problem?”

  “Oh...no.” Maybe. Kathryn started to head toward Gracie May’s Diner when she remembered what had almost flown past her in her haste to get to the interview. Holt had told her to call. She did that now and realized that she could hear his phone ringing. He was still in the park not fifty yards away. He had his back up against a tree; he was holding Izzy up and making raspberries on her little belly.

  Kathryn’s heart stopped. Her brain stopped. Her mouth...maybe it fell open. She wasn’t thinking about herself that much. What she did think about was how Izzy was laughing and clutching great fistfuls of Holt’s hair. And pulling. Her hands might be tiny, but Kathryn knew how hard they could clutch at things. That had to hurt.

  The strangest thing was that though Holt was clearly amusing Izzy, he was holding her as if she were a piece of delicate glass. And he wasn’t laughing back. He wasn’t reacting.

  Until Izzy, in her excitement, spit up all over his shirt.

  Most people who had zero experience with a baby would have gasped or yelled or held the baby away from them. Holt didn’t do any of those things. He just stared down at his shirt as if he’d never seen it before.

  Izzy had stopped laughing and was cooing quietly, happy and blissfully unaware that she had done anything wrong or had probably killed any last hope that Holt would ever like babies. He still hadn’t looked up and Kathryn moved closer, ready to scoop Izzy up and offer to clean Holt’s shirt.

 

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