31 Days of Winter

by C. J. Fallowfield

  ‘No thanks, I’ve got everything I need now.’ I replied with a shake of my head as I started preparing dinner with my back to him and wiggled my hips to try and stop the unbearable pulsation between my legs.

  ‘Please don’t do that, Ellie.’

  ‘Do what?’

  ‘You’re wearing some very tight jeans, it’s hard to focus on anything but how delicious your backside looks in them, without you squirming it like that.’

  ‘Sorry.’

  ‘Would you turn around and do your prep on here, please? It would also be nice to see you when we’re talking.’

  ‘I’d rather focus on getting this ready, it needs a long time in the slow cooker.’

  ‘You can focus on cooking while you’re facing me and talking.’

  ‘I can’t,’ I mumbled as I halved the button mushrooms and threw then in.

  ‘Because you’re turned on.’ He said it as a statement again, which was really irritating, how did he know that?

  ‘No,’ I protested.

  ‘Please,’ he laughed. ‘I watched your cheeks flush and pupils dilate as I stepped in the front door, your erect nipples were the size of saucers, you’re struggling to maintain a steady breathing rate, and you keep flexing your hips trying to take the edge off.’

  ‘Fine,’ I snapped, irritated that he knew. ‘I’m horny as hell. I haven’t had sex in nearly a year, I’ve just had my period and I’m always desperate for sex after that, and you’re walking around … like a … like a big pot of male testosterone bombarding me with your raw sexual pheromones and my body’s programmed to respond to all that. Happy now?’ I clutched the edge of the worktop, shut my eyes and sighed.

  ‘No. You’re saying it’s all chemical? Nothing to do with me?’

  ‘I don’t know what you’re asking, Dan.’ I drank another half glass of wine as I used a tub of chicken stock and threw a few glasses of the wine in to coat the breasts and mushrooms in the slow cooker.

  ‘I’m asking if any guy walked through that door earlier, would you be so desperate for sex?’

  ‘You can’t ask questions like that,’ I replied as I put the lid on and started to tidy up the worktop.

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Because it’s inappropriate.’

  ‘I don’t understand why you’re embarrassed that you want to fuck me.’

  ‘Wow, you’re on fire tonight with inappropriateness. Has anyone ever accused you of cockiness?’ I spun around to glare at him and wished I hadn’t, looking at him only made me more desperate.

  ‘I’ve had comments on that area of my body before, yes. Women seem partial to it.’

  ‘Partial to it?’ I felt my blood boil, the thought of any other women with their hands on him was painful, which was ridiculous, it wasn’t like I had ownership stakes over him.

  ‘Are you jealous?’ he asked.

  ‘No,’ I lied. ‘Do I have a question I can ask today?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘How many women have you slept with?’

  ‘Ask another question.’

  ‘No, you can’t pick and choose all the damn time.’

  ‘You won’t like the answer,’ he said firmly.

  ‘I’ll tell you how many men I’ve been with if you agree to tell me.’

  ‘Fine, probably about a thousand or so, give or take,’ he shrugged.

  ‘A thousand?’ I gasped and knocked back my wine with shaking hands.

  ‘I’m a very sexual person Ellie, who didn’t like to commit to one woman too long.’

  ‘Didn’t like to?’

  ‘You’ve had your personal question for the day. Do you feel better for knowing that?’

  ‘No,’ I answered truthfully, but now I knew why he was so skilled with his fingers and tongue. I desperately wanted to know what stopped him. How could someone with that appetite suddenly go without for three years?

  ‘Your turn.’

  ‘I’m sorry … what?’ I stuttered

  ‘To answer the question, not to become one of the many,’ he smiled, which didn’t help my desire at all. I’d happily become one of the many if it meant having him between my thighs, stretching me to capacity, filling me with … damn Brooke and her analogies, I had a cream filled donut on my mind now. ‘Ellie?’

  ‘I’m sorry what?’

  ‘How many men? Please don’t tell me you’ve had more partners than me, it will bruise my ego.’

  ‘No, not more than you,’ I replied as I went back to top up my wine, noticing he’d hardly touched his.

  ‘How many?’

  ‘I’m embarrassed, I’d prefer not to say.’

  ‘You agreed. I’m not judgemental Ellie, sex is a natural thing, why shouldn’t women enjoy it as much as men.’

  ‘I didn’t enjoy it that much,’ I scoffed.

  ‘Ellie,’ he growled, sternly. I rolled my eyes, he was going to think I was so naïve.

  ‘Fine. Two.’

  ‘Two hundred? That’s … that’s not so bad,’ he replied, sounding totally unconvinced as I watched him gulp. I burst out laughing.

  ‘So when you said you weren’t judgemental you had a maximum figure in mind?’

  ‘Well, I’d have preferred it to be a bit lower,’ he frowned.

  ‘So you really do have chauvinistic double standards, Dan,’ I exclaimed.

  ‘Sorry, I’m not normally bothered, but I don’t like the idea of you being with that many men.’

  ‘Because you care?’ I asked as I dared to look up into his dark brooding eyes and detected a slight nod. ‘It’s much lower,’ I nodded.

  ‘You said two hundred.’

  ‘No, you heard two and assumed it was two hundred. I’ve only had two partners.’

  ‘Two?’

  ‘You sound shocked,’ I replied as I headed over to the single armchair next to the fire with my new wine.

  ‘I am.’ He came and sat on the sofa, choosing the corner that faced me.

  ‘Why would you be shocked?’

  ‘You’re intelligent, funny, stunning and sexy, with a phenomenal body and that’s before a guy even gets to know you and realises how big your heart is.’

  ‘Thank you,’ I blushed and looked down. This conversation was making things really hard for me. He’d basically just recited all the things I thought about him, with the exception of not adding mysterious to the list.

  ‘Why not more?’

  ‘I’m not into sex for the sake of it, I need a real connection with someone.’

  ‘And you had a connection with your two boyfriends?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Zac and … who was the other one again?’

  ‘Matt, I worked with him at the Casino while I was at Uni.’

  ‘Did you love him?’

  ‘Yes, he was my first love so he meant a lot to me,’ I nodded as I swilled my wine. ‘We became best friends first and then it progressed.’

  ‘How did it end?’

  ‘You know what? That’s a question I’m going to decline to answer for once.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘I don’t have to answer that. Just like you don’t have to answer any of mine that you don’t like.’ I stood up and went back to the kitchen and pretended to check the slow cooker. I wasn’t ready to tell him that it had ended because I’d found out that I’d been seeing a married man for two years. I was too ashamed of myself even to this day, even though it wasn’t my fault. Matt had lied from the start, but I’d still caused his innocent wife so much pain. I was so naïve, I’d never once questioned why I never stayed at his, why he only saw me on certain nights, or why we had more sex at work in the stores room than anywhere else. I sighed as it just reminded me that I really didn’t have a great track record when it came to men.

  ‘I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,’ he called.

  ‘I know that. Are you actually going to drink your wine?’

  ‘One glass is fine for me, thank you.’

  ‘You’re not a big drinker?’

&nb
sp; ‘No, not really. You, on the other hand, seem to be on a mission tonight.’

  ‘Trying to dull my predicament.’

  ‘The sex starvation.’

  ‘Yep,’ I nodded as I stirred the contents of the slow cooker with my back to him.

  ‘Come here,’ he ordered.

  ‘I’m good over here.’

  ‘You’d be good anywhere, Miss Baxter,’ he advised, far too loudly for someone over on the sofa. I squealed as he grabbed me, spun me around and threw me over his shoulder and marched back to the lounge. Was it really only two weeks since he’d last carried me like this? His hand firmly clutching my bottom. I smiled and quickly tucked my hands into his back pockets like I had that night. ‘Déjà vu, Miss Baxter,’ he chuckled sexily and firmly plonked me down on the sofa.

  ‘What are you doing?’ I gasped as I scrambled up into the corner, trying to get away from him.

  ‘I thought we’d test out one of the items on your list.’

  ‘My list?’

  ‘Of requirements for guests. Have you ever played backgammon?’ he asked as he bent over in front of me to open the small case.

  ‘No,’ I squeaked as I looked up at the ceiling to avoid looking at his perfect arse.

  ‘Then I’ll be your teacher.’

  ‘I can imagine you’d be a very good teacher.’

  ‘I am. In many things,’ he replied with a smile as he sat next to me. Well, kissing and oral you definitely have down, I thought as I smiled back.

  We spent two hours playing and laughing, and he was impressed how quickly I picked it up. I was impressed that he actually gave away some information on his life as we talked. Nothing major, just what his job in IT had been, his favourite music and stuff.

  ‘Told you board games were a must, that time’s flown and you are a good teacher, thank you.’ I smiled as I scooted to the edge of the sofa.

  ‘You can’t walk away now, I’m winning.’

  ‘Chauvinistic and competitive. What a combination.’

  ‘You forgot irresistibly handsome and very gifted in bed.’

  ‘See, cocky. Besides, I can’t comment on the last one, not having experienced it.’ I screamed as he grabbed my ankles and dragged me down the sofa, my legs over his and he leaned over me and started tickling me on the ribs as I continued to scream and writhe. ‘Stop, please stop.’

  ‘You don’t think I’m handsome?’

  ‘No,’ I giggled and screamed again and gripped his shoulders, digging my nails in as I tried to push him back. He stopped his torture of me immediately.

  ‘No?’ he growled looking very offended.

  ‘Handsome’s too tame for how you look,’ I whimpered below him as my chest heaved and I dropped my eyes to his throat, embarrassed. I was so ready for him to fuck me, I could feel the crotch of my jeans digging into my tender, swollen slick flesh and the tip of his denim cased erection was just nudging against me. Four thin pieces of material were all that stood behind me and my strongest worldly desire, and I could feel the heat rising between us. I looked back up at him and he was chewing his bottom lip as his eyelids hung heavy. He looked at me like he was the Lion and I was his prey. He suddenly blew out, shut his eyes, stood up and walked quickly to the utility room and shut the door.

  I lay on the sofa panting for a while and cursed as I put my hand between my thighs, he’d got me that turned on I could feel my arousal had dampened my jeans. I managed to get myself up and thought about changing, but what if he noticed I’d changed and thought it was because I’d actually peed in my pants? Like I wanted him to think I had a continence problem? It was too late anyway, I heard the door behind me open and I looked around to see him come out, looking a whole lot calmer than I felt.

  ‘So when are we eating? I’m starving.’

  ‘I need to do the rice.’ I didn’t look at him as we passed each other. He went to sit back on the sofa and I returned to the kitchen and put some double cream in the bubbling pot first. I deliberately didn’t go back over, needing to keep some distance between us for a while, until I’d calmed down, which could be anytime from now until never. I could feel his eyes following me as I moved back and forth, setting the place mats, laying the cutlery and putting fresh glasses of water out. I wondered if he’d let off steam in the toilet, masturbated to take his edge off. I closed my eyes for a second and imagined his hand moving up and down his shaft as he thought of me, and I let out an involuntary groan.

  ‘You ok?’ he called.

  ‘Great. You?’

  ‘Great, too. It smells really good.’

  ‘You need to find somewhere that does cookery lessons, you’ll miss my dinners when I’m gone.’

  ‘I’ll miss you,’ he replied as he locked eyes with mine.

  ‘You’ll have other guests to keep you busy,’ I shrugged.

  ‘I’ll miss you, Ellie. Will you miss me?’

  ‘Yes,’ I said quietly as I broke eye contact and quickly drained the rice. He’d never know how much. ‘Are you going to come and eat or what?’

  He tucked in with the appetite of a man who hadn’t eaten for weeks and I idly wondered what he’d be like after having sex all night, there’d be no stopping him. I cleared up and he challenged me to another game of backgammon. I kept shifting restlessly on the sofa every time his thigh brushed mine or he looked at me sideways. I made my excuses and went to the utility room, shut the door and leaned back on it. I sighed and grasped my aching breasts and squeezed them trying to stop them from throbbing, but it only made it worse. I resolved to go out and make my excuses with a headache and draw the night to an end, I couldn’t take any more of this torture. I opened the door and walked straight into his chest and felt his arms go around my body to clutch my back side. He lifted me up level with his face as I clutched his strong biceps and squeezed.

  ‘You need to come or you’ll go crazy. I’m going to make that happen for you again.’ He hadn’t asked for my permission, but I caved like a pack of cards, nodded my agreement and he walked me back over to the lounge. The desire on his face reflected my own. If I thought I’d soaked myself earlier, I had no idea how much more turned on I could get, but I knew now.

  ‘Sex?’ I whispered and he closed his eyes and shook his head.

  ‘No.’

  ‘But I want to touch you,’ I groaned.

  ‘You’ll be too tired by the time I finish,’ he advised. I went to kiss him but he pulled his head back. ‘No kissing, I need to maintain my control.’

  ‘This isn’t how I want you,’ I pouted as he sat me down in front of the fire and held my arms to stop me from swaying.

  ‘You’d prefer me to stop?’ he questioned with raised eyebrows and I hesitated and bit my lip. I wanted him to make love to me, to kiss me and do everything that a couple would normally do. But we weren’t a couple, it was never going to happen and I was too weak to resist any scrap he offered. ‘My way or not at all Ellie, what’s it to be?’

  ‘Your way,’ I nodded as I looked up at him.

  ‘Take off your jeans and jumper.’

  I didn’t even object to the lack of the word please. Anyone would be a fool to refuse to comply with him, even without the knowledge of how effectively he could make them come. I lifted my jumper off first, thankful I at least had a matching black lace bra and knicker set on today. I heard him hiss as his eyes rested on my breasts, my nipples poking through the thin lace. He followed my fingers as they moved down my flat stomach to unbutton and unzip my jeans and I felt on the verge of passing out from the look in his eyes as I dropped them and kicked them out of the way. He stepped forward and put one arm around my waist as he ran his fingers around my lips, tracing their edges while I looked up at him, trying to hide the look of pure adoration and love from my eyes. The lust in his made me tremble and he smiled.

  ‘Please don’t tease me,’ I begged as he trailed his fingers to run back and forth along my jaw. My lips still felt bee stung from where he’d touched them, everywhere he touched the sensation
lasted for so long. I held my breath as he slid his hand down between my legs and cupped me and our groans merged.

  ‘You’re swollen.’

  ‘Yes,’ I whimpered as my fingers tightened around his biceps.

  ‘And wet, very wet,’ he purred.

  ‘Yes,’ I barely heard myself say. The look on his face was pure satisfaction that he’d done this to me, without even doing anything to me yet. He bowed his head down and nosed his way through my hair.

  ‘I love your scent, Ellie. I love that you’re so receptive to me.’

  ‘Please,’ I mewled, then moaned as his middle finger gently circled the lace of my knickers, the lightest of touches but I sagged in his arms as days of repressed orgasm and desire for this man exploded inside me and I cried out.

  ‘Jesus Christ,’ he gasped. ‘I barely touched you.’

  ‘You said you were amazing,’ I gasped, ‘I’m inclined to agree.’

  ‘Ready for more?’

  ‘Hmmm, please,’ I groaned and he lifted me up again, onto his hips and I automatically circled his neck and waist as his right arm held me.

  ‘You don’t stop looking at me. Understood?’

  ‘Understood,’ I nodded and my lips parted as I exhaled when his left hand slid down inside my knickers and he groaned again.

  ‘For me.’

  ‘For you.’ I climaxed again in seconds as he held my gaze and the ball of emotion in my chest expanded as I looked down at him and he slipped two fingers up inside me. I flexed my hips and sighed as my mouth juddered and he moved them in and out as I rode his hand.

  ‘You needed this.’

  ‘Yesssss,’ I moaned as we both moved faster. I felt my eyes expand as another climax approached. I’d never come this many times so quickly and my eye lids started to droop as the nerves in my clit radiated pleasure all the way to the end of my fingers, toes and hair.

  ‘Let me see it, Ellie. I want all of your enjoyment.’

  ‘I … want … yours,’ I replied with a scream as I fell apart on him and he quickly walked me to the sofa and gently lay me down on it. He pulled his fingers out and went to suck them but I caught his hand and he watched with baited breath as I pulled his hand down to my face and took his middle finger into my mouth, hollowed my cheeks and sucked as I swirled my tongue and moaned. He nearly combusted and let out a growl as his eyes darkened before pulling his finger out and sucking both himself. ‘I want you,’ I sighed, but he shook his head, parted my legs and kneeled on the floor between them and ran his nose along the small strip of wet material covering me.