31 Days of Winter

by C. J. Fallowfield

  ‘I did, it was really nice, thank you. Stop worrying about me and drink your coffee and eat, please.’

  ‘You’re very bossy sometimes,’ I observed as I took a few gulps of the alcohol laced coffee. I felt it warm the back of my throat as I swallowed. ‘Were you used to giving orders in your old job in IT?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Do you miss it?’

  ‘Giving orders?’

  ‘No, your job. Doing what you do now is very different to working in the city.’

  ‘You think it makes me less of a man for choosing this life instead?’

  ‘No, I never said that or implied it. You’re here because it’s what you want, I can totally understand needing to follow your heart. If being here is right for you then that’s fine, I just wondered if you ever missed your old life?’

  ‘I don’t miss being there if that’s what you’re asking. I still go from time to time, obviously my parents still live there and I love seeing them, but I usually can’t wait to get back here. I like the quiet.’

  ‘How often do you visit them?’

  ‘You’re already well over your personal question allowance for the day, Miss Baxter,’ he reminded me as his arms slipped around my waist and squeezed me tightly. I smiled and leaned back against him.

  ‘Damn, I thought with my near death experience I’d get away with that.’

  ‘Nice try, but no.’

  ‘It’s hardly giving much away if you tell me how often you visit London each year.’

  ‘About once every three months,’ he sighed.

  ‘Would you come and see me? We could go out for dinner and I could bore you with all the details of my new house and job,’ I asked hesitantly.

  ‘Ellie, I … I don’t know if that would be a good idea.’

  ‘You don’t want to stay friends?’

  ‘I’m not sure that’s what we are.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ I asked with a frown as I tipped my head back on his shoulder and looked up at him.

  ‘You want more from me than friendship and I can’t offer it. I don’t want to give you false hope,’ he replied with a kiss on my forehead. I closed my eyes and sighed. I just couldn’t imagine getting on that plane in seven days time and never seeing him again. ‘You’re tired, you need to sleep. Finish your coffee, then off to bed. I’ll go and get you a t-shirt to wear.’

  ‘Thank you,’ I yawned. I drained the rest of my drink as he disappeared to the back of the cabin, then took his hand as he returned and helped me up.

  ‘Put this on,’ he ordered as he handed me a grey Muse “Resistance” t-shirt.

  ‘Appropriate,’ I observed as I pulled it over my head and lowered it down, before slipping off the towel underneath.

  ‘I thought so,’ he smiled. ‘Do you need me to carry you up the ladder?’

  ‘I’ll be fine, though I’d prefer you don’t stand below me as I climb up.’

  ‘I’ve seen it all before,’ he chuckled.

  ‘I know you have, but that was then. Now we’re … I’ve no idea what we are, we still haven’t discussed your weird behaviour again today, but you don’t get to look at my bare backside and flashes of my bits as I climb the ladder to get in your bed.’

  ‘I’ll go and get changed into a t-shirt for bed then as well. Please hold on tightly, I don’t want you falling.’ I waited for him to disappear and carefully climbed the ladder, my hands were still trembling after my night of adventure. I crawled across the bed, climbed in and pulled the duvet up around my chin trying to get warmed up. The light in the room dimmed as Dan extinguished the candles, so only the orange firelight remained. I felt the mattress dip as he carefully made his way to the top and climbed in beside me. I tried to breathe really quietly, so he wouldn’t hear how badly he affected me by being so close. ‘Ellie, I’m really sorry about today,’ he whispered.

  ‘You hate being around me that much that you need twelve hours away from me?’

  ‘I don’t hate being around you at all, that’s the problem. I love being around you, you make me forget everything else except how great it is to be in your company. I’m a different person with you around, I’m happy.’

  ‘You can be happy without me around Dan, you just need to socialise with people a bit more. Go to the pub in the village, invite people over for dinner … well, Pot Noodle or sandwiches as you can’t cook. You don’t need me for you to be different, you’re confusing my proximity with how you could feel every day if you let people in and became more friendly.’

  ‘Don’t do that. This has nothing to do with proximity. It’s you … you … beguile me Ellie Baxter, you make me want to think of nothing else, to do nothing else but hold you, kiss you and … I’m telling you that it’s you. I’ve no idea why, but you’ve woken something inside me, made me care again,’ he sighed. I jerked as I felt his fingers trace my lips, the crackle of energy sparking from his fingertips as they trailed my mouth. I rolled onto my side to look at him, his face barely visible in the dark.

  ‘I don’t understand what you’re trying to say,’ I whispered as his fingers moved into my hair and trailed through it.

  ‘I’m not sure I do. I just know that I like you being around, I like spending time with you, listening to you talk. You’re so passionate when you talk about your book, your editing job or your friendship with Brooke. You light up and it’s wonderful to watch.’

  ‘So what’s wrong with us seeing each other when you come to London? I don’t understand. It’s no different to us spending time together here.’

  ‘It is, I just … up here there are more reminders why I can’t be with you. Down there I worry that I’ll forget that.’

  ‘Why can’t you tell me? What could be so awful that you think you’ll upset me?’

  ‘Please don’t ask me to tell you,’ he sighed as he rubbed the ends of my hair between his thumb and forefinger.

  ‘I’ll be leaving soon, never to see you again it seems, so what does it matter?’

  ‘I’d prefer you to think of me fondly, as the guy that you nearly had a winter fling with, the one that jumped into the water and saved you, who held you in the shower as you warmed up. Speaking of, you’re still shaking. Are you still cold?’

  ‘A little,’ I nodded.

  ‘Take the t-shirt off,’ he ordered.

  ‘What?’ I exclaimed.

  ‘Take it off.’

  ‘But surely I’ll be colder without it on?’

  ‘Skin on skin, best way of getting warm. Take it off now, please,’ he ordered again as he sat up in bed and pulled his own off.

  ‘Dan, you’re talking about me being naked while you … hold me?’ I uttered.

  ‘I’m talking about us both being naked while I hold you. My body heat should help warm you up faster.’

  ‘You don’t have any hot water bottles?’ I asked, desperately trying to stall this insane plan. I was getting as bad as him. I wanted him, then I didn’t, then I did, now I didn’t again.

  ‘No. I’ll add them to the Ellie Baxter’s list of suggestions for future tenants. Will you do as you’re told or do I need to undress you myself?’

  ‘You have boxers on, right?’ I asked as I sat up and pulled it off.

  ‘Just shut up and get down here,’ he chuckled as he grabbed me and pulled me down next to him. He rolled onto his back and put his arm around me as I draped myself half over his front, hooking one leg over his as I nestled my head onto his chest and stretched my arm over him.

  ‘This is not going on your list for future tenants,’ I advised.

  ‘Getting jealous?’

  ‘No,’ I lied. ‘Just warning you of the ramifications of a sexual harassment law suit if you proposition all female occupants like this. Some may not take too kindly to it.’

  ‘I don’t care about “some,” I care about you. Warming up yet?’

  ‘A little,’ I nodded. I had to grit my teeth and try and focus on anything but the fact that I wanted to run my fingers over his chest and p
lant kisses across it. My nipples were trying to peak, but I was tucked against his side so tightly, his ribs were preventing them from doing so. His fingers idly tracing circles on the back of my shoulder were so distracting, as was the pulsating between my thighs. I was naked, stark naked lying with some seriously sexy guy and not doing anything about it. What was wrong with me? Actually what was wrong with him? Three years of no sex, I’m naked in his arms, it’s obvious I’m willing, and he still does nothing about it? ‘Are you sure you prefer women?’ I blurted out.

  ‘What?’ he laughed as he tilted his head to look down at me. What a stupid thing to say Ellie, I thought. It was obvious he did prefer women from the amount of times he got hard around me, but I just couldn’t fathom why he didn’t want sex with me. I could feel his firm chest rising and falling as rapidly as mine, his heart beating strongly in his chest as his breathing became more and more laboured. What the hell was wrong with him?

  ‘You kiss me for hours last night, I know you’re attracted to me, I’m naked in your bed, in your arms and you’re feeling nothing?’

  ‘You think I’m feeling nothing?’ he growled as he grabbed my hand. I gasped as he shoved it down the bed and wrapped it around his warm, hard as stone, cock and squeezed as a groan escaped his lips. ‘I feel plenty.’

  ‘Me too,’ I whimpered as he encouraged my fingers to tighten. ‘Mega plenty. You were supposed to be wearing boxers,’ I gulped.

  ‘I told you skin on skin, makes you hot,’ he breathed as my hand just froze around his rigid shaft, not quite sure what to do. Not that I didn’t know what to do, I knew how to do that, I just wasn’t sure if I was allowed to.

  ‘Very hot. You know what would make me even hotter? Scorching in fact?’ I raised my face to his, our lips millimetres apart, his breath coming as rapidly as mine was. I dared to move my hand up his thick girth and sweep my thumb over his tip. He was wet, nowhere near as wet as I was, but wet all the same.

  ‘Ellie,’ he groaned as he closed his eyes and his lips parted.

  ‘Do you want me to stop?’ I asked as I slowly drew my fist down and back up again, marvelling at his size and feeling myself get wetter at the thought of trying to take this inside me. And I’d need to be wet to accommodate this comfortably.

  ‘Yes … no … it’s wrong, I … I can’t,’ he moaned as I felt him quiver in my hand. He didn’t make any move to stop me, so I started to slowly stroke him, feeling myself swell and flood at the thought of having this … beast inside me.

  ‘You can, you want to, I know you want to and I want it too,’ I advised as I kissed the corner of his mouth. He groaned again and shifted his hips, parting his legs slightly as I continued to work my hand leisurely up and down him. ‘I want you inside me, I want you to fuck me. I’ve wanted it from the moment I first saw you. Don’t tell me that you don’t want me, we both know that you do.’

  ‘I do, so fucking badly,’ he growled. Before I knew what was happening I was on my back, Dan’s powerful body hovering over mine as he kneed my legs apart. I looked up at him wide eyed, nodded my consent and braced myself as he plunged straight into me, forcing his way inside me with an animalistic roar as I screamed and reached up to grip his biceps.

  ‘Holy shit,’ I exclaimed as he thrust again, the power threatening to rupture my insides. I’d never felt so full and stretched in my life, Matt and Zac had nothing on his length and girth. The feeling was … indescribable.

  ‘God, I’ve wanted to do this from the moment I first saw you at the airport too, no … from the moment I spoke to you on the phone. Damn it Ellie, you feel so good, better than I’ve even imagined,’ he groaned as he powered into me again, making me take his last few inches as my muscles and I screamed in protest. ‘Ok?’

  ‘You’re … bloody huge,’ I uttered as I gazed up at him in bewilderment.

  ‘I know,’ he chuckled cockily and lowered his head and kissed me tenderly. ‘Too huge for me to move again?’

  ‘No, do it,’ I ordered and flung my arms around his neck, pulling him down to kiss me. He pulled out and powered into me again, making my cry out and arch my back. I wrapped my legs around his slim waist and rocked my hips to meet his thrusts as our kissing changed from gentle to rough, frantic and needy as he moved inside me. I could die right now and be happy, I thought as he swirled his hips and made me whimper into his mouth. Damn, I was in such trouble. What was I doing? This was … bliss on a scale I’d never known, but the minute it was over he was going to freak out, shut down and retreat. I was going to be feeling like crap any minute now, all because I couldn’t control my sexual cravings for the man between my legs fucking me like his world was ending. And it was. This was the best sex I’d ever had. Period. ‘Dan,’ I panted, I was so close to coming, I couldn’t hold off. I’d never come during penetrative sex, he was ruining it for any man I was going to have sex with again. Nothing would ever compare to this.

  ‘Fuck Ellie, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry … it’s been so long I need … fuck I need to come,’ he gasped as he kissed me again.

  ‘It’s ok,’ I reassured him as I kissed him back, my hands gliding down his moist skin and raking his powerful shoulder blades. ‘Do it.’

  ‘You … first,’ he ordered as he moved to kiss my neck, making me melt. I was ruined. Completely ruined for life. I had no idea sex could be this good, I thought I’d experienced great sex. I really hadn’t. And this was quick hot and frantic sex, Christ knows what he could be like if we took our time and savoured each other. I felt my eyes fill up with tears at the thought that I’d never get to experience that.

  ‘Dan,’ I whimpered as my whole body started to tingle and tremble.

  ‘Come for me, Ellie.’

  ‘I … I … Ahhhh, I … I’m so close.’ I cramped my toes as I rose up to meet him and nestled my face in his neck, kissing it as I breathed in his natural musky sexual scent.

  ‘Ellie, shit I’m coming, come for me, please,’ he begged as he pumped into me harder and faster. My whole body spasmed and I screamed as I flung my head back. He held me up with one hand in the small of my back as he rested on his forearm and took my nipple in his teeth and bit down. I screamed again and completely went to pieces as my orgasm ripped through me. No section of my skin was left untouched from the pleasure that saturated my body. I heard him roar my name as he thrust one final time, our pubic bones clashing as he bathed my insides with his heat. I bit my lip hard, I wanted to cry out “I love you” but I couldn’t, he’d retreat even faster if I confessed how badly he really affected me. The fleeting thought that we hadn’t used protection crossed my mind, but was soon forgotten as we collapsed down onto the mattress, both panting, his heavy body smothering mine, yet incredibly comforting. ‘Jesus Christ. I know it’s been a long time for me, but was sex always this good?’ he sighed as his lips worked up and down my neck.

  ‘Never for me,’ I confirmed as I kissed across his shoulder, still clinging to him tightly as my orgasm continued to rattle me. I was scared of letting go. I had a feeling the minute I did he’d be off and I wanted this connection to last as long as possible. I took as many mental pictures as I could, never wanting to forget how I was feeling in this very moment.

  ‘Me neither, we’re perfect together, Ellie,’ he advised as he kissed his way around to my mouth. I automatically allowed him access, his tongue dancing with mine as I sighed with contentment. He showed no signs of shifting off me, I could still feel his cock twitching inside me and it felt so natural to be feeling so full. ‘I could stay inside you forever,’ he sighed as he continued to kiss me.

  ‘I’d love that,’ I replied, then squealed as he rolled onto his back, taking me with him so I was stretched down his front, him still inside me. He hooked his legs over mine and dragged them apart. Snaked one hand down to palm my backside making me wince slightly, it was sore. I soon forgot about it as he reached up with his other hand to push my hair back from my face as he cradled it in his palm, lifted his head and kissed me again.

&nbs
p; ‘You’re so beautiful,’ he whispered.

  ‘You’re not so bad yourself,’ I smiled and dipped my head and kissed him back.

  ‘That was …’

  ‘Incredible,’ I finished for him.

  ‘Yeah,’ he nodded.

  ‘It’s really been three years for you?’

  ‘Yes. Sorry I came so fast.’

  ‘I’m impressed how long you held off after so long.’

  ‘You’d be really impressed with how long I can go when I’ve had some practice to rebuild my stamina.’

  ‘Feel free to practice all you need on me, I’ll just lie back and think of England just to help you.’

  ‘Totally selfless,’ he chuckled.

  ‘Of course. There’d be nothing in it for me at all.’

  ‘I beg to differ,’ he reminded me with a small thrust of his hips.

  ‘Ahhh, you’re still hard,’ I observed as the tiny movement sent shockwaves through my tender flesh.

  ‘I am, and I don’t think it’s going down anytime soon, not while you’re naked in my bed,’ He frowned suddenly and I bit my lip, he was about to retreat. ‘Are you feeling warmer?’

  ‘Much,’ I giggled with a flush to my cheeks.

  ‘Come down here and sleep for a while then, you’ve been through an ordeal.’

  ‘A very pleasurable one,’ I replied as he forced me down onto his chest and cradled the back of my head as he kissed my hair, surprising me.

  ‘Not the sex, the sex was … that was no ordeal. I meant falling in the loch.’

  ‘I know,’ I nodded. I dared kissing his throat as my fingers stroked his chest, over his heart. I smiled as I heard him let out a contented sigh. I thought he’d have fled by now, I’d never felt happier. ‘Are you a roller or a cuddler after sex?’

  ‘A roller?’ he sounded puzzled.

  ‘A guy that rolls away and doesn’t like any form of physical contact after the event.’

  ‘Huh. I guess I’ve always been a roller.’

  ‘O,’ I exclaimed, taking that as my cue I was pushing him too hard. I went to move and he tightened his grip on me.

  ‘Where are you going?’