Close Protection (Blood Brothers #2)

by Manda Mellett

  “Where the fuck are you?” he hisses once he realises it’s me.

  I tell him and hear his intake of breath.

  “I’m not even going to ask why but I take it you’re still alive as you’re speaking to me.” He pauses, “I’m at the hospital. You’ve got to get here. Now.”

  “Why? What’s happened? How is she?” Concern floods through me, reminding what a bastard I am to have left.

  “She’s in surgery now. They waited as they had to make sure her lungs were clear enough for the anaesthetic. They’re removing the bullet. She was in pieces before she went in, man. She needs you.”

  I shake my head, a useless gesture as he can’t see me, “I fucked up, Ben. I…”

  He speaks over me, not wanting to hear anything else I have to say, “Then get your arse back here and make it right!” He hangs up.

  I reach the McClaren which is still where I left it. The tyres haven’t been slashed and it’s not been keyed, I count myself lucky. Yet again. I’d give everything I have to be able to pass that sort of luck onto Mia. Leaning my elbows on the roof and bowing my head for a moment before getting in, I remember how the car came into my possession; the grateful sheikh rewarding me for giving him back his life. Forgiving me for a mistake I shouldn’t have made in the first place. The same man I let down. Just as I let Mia down. And then it comes to me, the fire, Mia’s shooting had put it to the back of my mind but now it’s at the forefront, banging on my head hurting worse than the blows to my face. Not only had I failed to protect her, the first time I took her to bed she used her safeword. For the first time in my fucking life, a sub safeworded out on me. Even as her Dom I botched it up, failing to recognise I was pushing her too far, too fast. Too fucking eager, to get inside her. The difference, with any other sub, is that it was always just play. Of course, I care about their needs and comfort, and there is mutual respect but nothing more than that. I made the same mistake as I made with Nijad. I got emotionally involved. And my emotions blinded me.

  The pulsing pain all over my body gives my thoughts the clarity I didn’t have before. I wasn’t there for Nijad, but I’ve still got time to make things right for Mia.

  My guilt feels a heavy burden as I drive back across London and to the hospital where the ambulance had taken her. Stopping off in a bathroom to clean the worst of the blood off my face, I examine myself in the mirror cringing at the mess I’m in. I’ve several cuts, and one of my eyes is swollen. My nose has stopped bleeding, but my blood, as well as her’s has stained my T-shirt, though now it’s dry it doesn’t show too badly on the black material. Trying to ignore the pain in my back, and the throbbing in my swollen balls, I adjust my jeans in an effort to make myself more comfortable and then set off to face the music.

  Chapter 22

  Jon

  Three years ago

  We didn’t talk much about it, my partner Jasim and I. Never addressed the elephant in the room. It was as though Nijad was dead to both of us, our brother who’d turned out not to be the man we thought.

  At first it was awkward returning to Club Tiacapan, which we owned with our third but silent partner, Jason Deville. Although anonymity is guaranteed in the club, it was impossible to hide that the Savage Sheikh, as the newspapers had named him, was in fact a well-known and previously well-liked member and more to the point my friend, and Jasim’s brother. And, of course, on everyone’s lips was the incident a few weeks ago when a Dom ignored a safeword and had to be pulled off his sub. Though right to stop the abuse, many could bear witness to the fact Nijad, the first to the rescue, had lost his temper and over-reacted, the level of violence used excessive, even given the provocation. The Dom, though it’s doubtful he’s worthy of that title, a certain Ethan St John Davies came very close to causing trouble for the club as a result. But luckily St John Davies had backed down from a court case, knowing certain facts about his lifestyle would have been disclosed in the public arena if he’d gone ahead.

  We’d weathered that storm, but, of course, it fuelled speculation about whether Nijad was guilty or not, even after the papers had printed a retraction —at more not inconsiderable expense to the Kassis family —when the woman had changed her statement.

  Jasim and I refused to comment; just gritted our teeth as we kept what we knew had to be the truth deep inside. Gradually the gossip died down, and the errant sheikh was forgotten when whatever next delicious scandal reared its head.

  But I was unable to forget. Or to forgive.

  Present day

  Ben’s made sure she’s in a private room—I should have been here doing that. Another strike against me. He’s sitting outside in the corridor and gets up when I appear. He looks me in the face, scrutinising my injuries for a moment before saying anything.

  “You’ve looked worse.” He tells me.

  To say he’s extremely unhappy with me is an understatement, and we’ll probably be having a further discussion about my behaviour tonight at some point in the future. But right now I’ve got other things on my mind. “How is Mia?”

  “In recovery. She should be back in her room very soon.” He indicates the door behind him. “They removed the bullet without too much trouble, it didn’t hit anything vital, but she lost a lot of blood.”

  “I let her down, Ben. Last night shouldn’t have happened.”

  He glares, “No, it fucking shouldn’t. But that maniac might have succeeded even if you’d been more on the ball.”

  “That bullet was meant for me.”

  He gives me a strange look, and I realise he knows something that I don’t. “Yes, it was meant for you, but if he’d have killed you, Jon, it would have been worse for Mia.”

  I regard him curiously as he takes a phone out of his pocket.

  “Mia’s phone. She thought it was a text from you; it arrived just after she’d been admitted.”

  Another wave of guilt washes over me. I’d been so self-absorbed I’d left her to go through everything alone. I hold out my hand to take the phone and read the text message realising somehow the bastard has got hold of her mobile number.

  YOU WON’T ESCAPE FROM ME AGAIN. NEXT TIME YOU’LL BE MINE BITCH. IT'S TIME TO PAY!

  Raising my eyes to Ben, I nod, realising what he means. If he’d taken me out of action, he could have got away with Mia. The thought is chilling. “She needs more people on her. Twenty-four-hour protection. And somehow we need to flush this bastard out. The police know about this?”

  He nods. “Yes, they interviewed her before she went into surgery. They’ve got their forensic people at the house,” he pauses and grimaces, “Or what’s left of it, but they’re leaving protection to us. I’ve spoken to that detective, Coulton, and he’ll be the liaison. They suggested a safe house, but I said we’d use one of ours. You’ll be with her.” The last was a statement rather than a question.

  I shake my head. The realisation that her stalker very nearly got her due to my incompetence hits me all over again. Lowering my head into my hands, trying to think what’s best for Mia, how to protect her and keep her safe. The answer hits me like a sledgehammer, and I know what I have to do. I need distance to be able to do my job, if I stayed close to her, I’d only lose myself all over again. Lifting my chin I look him straight in the eyes, and say as firmly, “Don’t ask that of me. You know I’ll only let her down.”

  His eyes flash with sudden anger. “You’ll fucking stay with her, Jon. You’ve mucked up enough with her head. Admit you have feelings for her and accept that you’re just like the rest of us. Human. We all make fucking mistakes! But most of us learn and move on.” He leans forward, getting into my personal space. “Just fucking grow a pair and start behaving like a fucking adult for once!” He turns and storms off down the corridor as if wanting to be out of my presence.

  It’s unlike Ben to lose his temper; his words take me by surprise.

  Suddenly he turns back. It seems he hasn’t finished with me yet.

  “And another thing. She fucking needs you, Jon.
I got here as soon as I could, but it wasn’t me she wants, it’s you! You walk away, and you’ll destroy her. I don’t know what’s happened between the two of you, but she depends on you. She needs her protector; she needs her Dom.”

  If I were a proper Dom, I’d have had her best interest a heart. If I were a proper Dom she wouldn’t have had to scream Red at me. And I can’t be her CPO. Because of my ineptitude, she’s lost her home and almost her life. No, I’m not good for her. “She got hurt because of me.” I’m too embarrassed to admit to him I made her say her safeword; that would remain our secret.

  “She fucking chose to put herself in danger. It was her fucking choice, Jon. Just like when you took a bullet for Nijad, and before that, when you almost died for your country. Her choice! And why did she do that? Just stop a minute and ask yourself why? She fucking loves you, man!”

  He doesn’t know the half of it; I try to cover it up, “I’m just the first man…”

  Again he interrupts me, getting right up into my face. “Yes, you’re the first fucking man she’s trusted in seven years! And why does she trust you? For your exceptional cock? She’s a woman, Jon. She trusts you with her heart, and you’ll rip it out if you walk away.”

  I realise that they must have had quite some conversation before she was taken into the operating theatre. I bow my head. “I don’t need a fucking lecture, Ben.”

  His rage starts to cool, but somehow his quiet pronouncement is worse, “You’re off the case, Jon. Take some time off.”

  My eyebrows raise, I’m not sure what he’s getting at now.

  “I’ll assign a round the clock team to watch her. You’ll stick with her like glue, but we won’t let him creep up on her again. You can’t resist dipping your wick—we’ll be there to blow out the candle while you’re otherwise engaged.”

  He’s offering a chance for me to be with Mia, but taking away my responsibility for keeping her safe. But I won’t take him up on it. I’m the wrong man and the wrong Dom for her. If I’d been stronger, had more control I’d have stopped Mia putting her life on the line for me. That’s why she’s fucking under the knife right now. Because I’m weak.

  I glare at him, “I’m going to do my job, Ben. There was never anything between Mia and myself except for good healthy sex. She might think there’s more to it, but as you said, I’m the first man she’s had in seven years. She won’t be able to trust me again. I’m a Dom, Ben. In our lifestyle, as you’re well aware, trust is the key. You don’t need to tell me how stupid I was to start something with her, but it was always going to end sooner rather than later. I don’t do relationships; you know that. So it’s best I hurt her now. Rip the plaster off quickly. She’ll get over it. I have no more feelings for her than any sub I’ve played with.” If I keep telling myself that maybe I’ll start to believe it. “Put me back on the rota.”

  His eyes have been opening wider and wider as he’s been listening to me, now he shakes his head in despair. “You’ll back off? Really?” He’s not able to believe it.

  Our conversation is interrupted when a bed is wheeled down the corridor and into the room behind us. A sleepy Mia on it, her face almost as pale as the white sheet she’s lying on. She’s got a drip running into her arm. It breaks my heart to see her so weak and looking so forlorn and lost, but I don’t let my emotions show. I nod at Ben, keeping my face impassive, trying silently to convince him I can separate the personal from professional and follow her into the room. The nurses look like they are going to shoo me out, but my glare discourages them from making the suggestion.

  The constant beeping of the monitor is getting on my nerves, but I keep up my vigil sitting beside her. She’s still sleeping; the anaesthetic is taking a while to wear off. As I watch her, even though I fight them, emotions flood me. Guilt and regret. She’s the first and only woman I’ve allowed to get close to me, and how did it end up? She could have been killed. Looking down at her body, I remember how I’d thought about her carrying my child, seeing her belly swell with the seed I’d planted there. My gut clenches, and pain like a punch hits me harder than any the bikers threw. If I had got her pregnant, then she’d have had me tied up tighter than any form of bondage I’ve ever used. And I’d have had the excuse I need to stay. But we’d been careful; there’s no possibility of that.

  I hear her stir, and then cough to clear her throat. I get to my feet and stand over her. Her eyes widen, full of horror, and she screams. “Get away from me! Get away, get away!” She’s hysterical.

  The door opens behind me, and a nurse rushes in, quickly followed by Ben. The latter grabs me by the arms and pulls me away from the bed.

  “What the fuck did you do?” he rasps out. He attempts to get me out of the room, but I’m not going to go, shrugging his hand off my arm and glaring at him.

  “I didn’t fucking do anything!” I hiss back.

  The nurse throws me a disgusted look and tries to calm Mia. She’s stroking her forehead, talking to her quietly and softly. Mia seems to relax and turns her head to look at me; she’s shaking and panicked. This is the reaction I sought, I needed her to see me as the fallible man who let her down, wanted her to blame me. But now it’s obvious she knows how much I failed her, I crave her forgiveness.

  I try to go to her, but Ben holds me back, not releasing me until Mia puts out her hand reaching for me, her eyes full of tears.

  “Jon…. I’m sorry. I was dreaming.”

  It’s impossible not to offer her comfort; I go to her.

  “Oh, Jon,” she raises her good arm and pulls me to her, looking aghast at my face. “What’s happened to you?” She gently brushes her hand across my cheek.

  Fuck! She’s still thinking about me, rather than herself. I shrug off her concern. “I got into a fight.”

  “What does the other guy look like?” She doesn’t ask me why. Does she know me that well?

  “The three of them,” I emphasise, “Look worse.”

  She tries to laugh, but it starts her coughing. The nurse comes across; she’s been observing us carefully. After giving me a sharp look, she turns to Mia, explaining to her how she can use the pump to give her more painkillers if necessary, and, passing her the call button, how she can summon help if she needs it. After one last look of disgust directed at me, she leaves us alone. I figure she doesn’t approve of fighting.

  Mia pulls back from me and looks across at Ben, who seems reluctant to leave us alone. Her gaze turns back to me, “My throat. It’s sore.”

  “It’s the tube they use when you’re under, Mia. It will get easier soon.” Ben’s comforting her; I should be doing that. No, I’ve got to distance myself.

  She nods. “It triggered a memory.”

  Ben moves closer to the bed. “What did you remember?”

  I turn and glare at him. “Not now, Ben. She doesn’t need it to go through it right now.”

  She swallows, talking is obviously painful for her. I can’t help taking her hand and squeezing it as she looks between Ben and me. “Yes, now. While it’s fresh, in my mind.”

  I don’t think she needs to be put through anything else tonight, she’s suffered enough. But as she continues to stare at me intently, I give her a reluctant nod to proceed.

  “I remember a lot of what happened to me, but it’s usually in flashes, those bastards using me.”

  She's brave, starting to talk about things that she’s kept hidden. I already know most of it, but I’m impressed she’s opening up in front of Ben.

  “One of them was the worst, the most violent. I don’t think he cared what happened to me. Like I was some sort of toy?” She glances up, making sure we understand. “When he was…” she licks her lips.

  “Do you want some water?” I hand her the glass by the bed and place the straw to her mouth. She takes a few sips, and then coughs.

  “When he was raping me he’d put his hand around my throat, cutting off my air. He didn’t care if he killed me.”

  “It’s alright Mia; you don’t have t
o say anymore.” My suggestion is as much for me as for her; having to listen to what she went through is killing me.

  “But I want to. If it’s one of my abusers is the stalker, surely anything I remember might help?”

  She’s right. I glance at Ben. He makes a gesture as if to ask me whether he should leave, but I shake my head. If Mia doesn’t mind, then I think he should stay. I’m not even sure I want to hear anymore.

  “They had these gadgets. One was a dental gag.” She looks up at us both, “I looked into BDSM toys for my books, but I never wrote toys being used to hurt people. Not until the last book.” She shrugs self-depreciatingly, “I thought it meant I was stronger and getting over it. Anyway, he used the dental gag and said he was going to fuck my mouth and choke me until I was dead. He said, ‘You’re going to die, bitch, then I’ll bring you back and do it all over again.’ My throat is sore, and my chest hurts. It just brought it all back.”

  “Your throat hurts from the tube, Mia, and you breathed in a lot of smoke,” I explain how her memory could have been triggered even as Ben and I are exchanging glances. We never allow breath play at the Tiacapan—it’s too dangerous. And I’ve seen dental gags used as a punishment, but frown on them as they seem too much like abuse. In a seedy club abroad, I’ve also seen a woman accidentally suffocated until her heart stopped, needing CPR to bring her back—she ended up with a couple of broken ribs. I recalled Mia’s recollection of her injuries when she was freed, and with disgust, wonder if that’s what happened to her.

  Ben steps forwards. “In your last book, you wrote about a wannabe Dom?”

  “Can I have some more water?” She takes a longer drink this time before waving it away. “Yes. Before my books have focused on pleasure, but this time, I was exploring what could go wrong if the Dom didn’t know what he was doing.”

  “The way you wrote, were you describing your experiences?”